A.N. — It's rather crass to me (though thought perfectly fine, apparently, by all the Lions) that Gryffindor's portrait has no name other than one relating to her girth. To be fair, though, she can apparently down multiple vats of wine.
44. The Fat Lady
Gryffindors had many ways to cultivate their house's vaunted bravery. Perhaps no method was more daring, daunting —or depressing — as trying to finagle the Fat Lady's portrait to open when she was drunk.
After curfew, her booming voice was liable to bring prefects (or worse, Filch and Mrs. Norris) running. When she was sloshed, even the correct password sometimes didn't get her to move aside. The Fat Lady was never agreeable after hours anyways, likely to wind up shouting whether or not she was into her cups.
All agreed, though, she was a damn sight better than Sir Cadogan.