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"Man, I totally need a good way to burn Jackie. She made me look like Forman! She was all, 'Hug me or I'll tell the police and Mr. Forman about the stash.' I hate that chick! Why does she even hang out here, man? I thought you dumped her."

"I did. But how can you blame her? It's obvious that she's waiting around the basement for me. No girl can get enough of the Kelsinator."

"Kelso, don't call yourself that. You have to have, like, done it with a space babe. Like Princess Leia. Man, that would be BITCHIN!"

"I suggest the dark room switch."

"Fez, why don't I just push her in a closet with you? I don't want to be stuck in a room alone with her for more than...oh wait, I would kill myself."

"Hyde, how can you hate something so beautiful? Oh, that is right. You hate everything."

"Exactly, man. And she's like the devil, too. I mean, she's blackmailing me! That's my thing!"

"Dude, I would totally get back with Jackie. She's so hot! And she's...ok well she's...OK she's just hot. But she's really hot, so it works, right?"

"No. Kelso, You need to find a girl who's ridicolusly hot AND cool. Oh, wait there's only one of those in Point Place. And guess what? She's my girlfriend. Yeah, that's right."

"Eric do not brag. You will give me needs."

"Uhm, ok. Hey Hyde, why don't you go all incognito with Jackie. Like, be all nice to her and invite her over in front of her friends, then make her fall to sleep and cut all her hair or dye it or something. Oh, and dress her up in something really hideous, then invite all her friends over and they'll laugh at her, and it'll be AWESOME. Dude, we have so many good ideas down here!"

"You know what, Forman, that's perfect. But I'd take it one step further. Let's say Jackie falls to sleep and suddenly grows a unibrow. And then, I'll take her to the Hub and publicly humiliate her. It's foolproof, man."

"Dude, can I draw the unibrow?"

"Sure, Kelso."

"I cannot believe you all are exploiting such a flower. It sickens me. Now good day."

"C'mon Fez..."

" I SAID GOOD DAY!"

The next day the plan was put into action. Instead of heading straight to Eric's for a little thinking time with the stash, he actually went to the football team where the cheerleaders were practicing. He knew he was sacrificing a lot, but the look on that rich bitchy chick's face when she realizes that everyone is laughing at her was worth it. So, with sunglasses on and cigarette lit, Hyde leaned against the bleachers and waited for the cheerleaders to stop cheering. He winced at the cheesy chants those bouncy bimbos recited while waving their hands around in the air like monkeys. The hot uniforms were the only reason he didn't blow chunks.

"Oh my...Jackie, I think there's someone waiting for you."

"I can't believe this. Steven Hyde is here for you! You should totally date him, Jackie. I bet he cleans up really well."

"Of course he does. And I bet he'll do it for you, Jackie."

"I don't know about this. Jackie, what are you gonna do if he expects you to go all the way? You know he nails every girl he dates."

"Well, let's just go find out already. It's getting cold and I don't want to look bad in front of him."

The 5 short-skirt clad girls, led by Jackie, made their way over to where the epitome of "cool guy" stood. Jackie's mind raced. Did Hyde actually like her? She didn't think she could handle that. She had actually been reconsidering getting back with Micheal, and now his best friend wanted her? Wow, junior guys couldn't get enough of her.

"Hey, Steven. What are you doing here?"

Jackie gave her best flirty smile. The cheerleaders surrounding her soaked it in.

"You know, whatever. Where are you going after this?"

Every girl around him gasped, including a little one from Jackie.

"Oh, just going to meet Chip at the Drive in. Why?"

"How about you get a little taste of the badass life? Blow Chip off, and come with me."

Even Jackie's heart skipped a beat with those last three words.

"I don't know, Steven. We've had these plans for days. Besides, where would we go?"

Hyde took a deep breath. Remember the humiliation. Remember all her freak friends laughing at her. This is worth it.

He took a step closer.

"C'mon, Jacks. We can go hang out at the basement, no one is there. And you haven't properly seen my room, have you?"

Jackie stole a quick glance at her friends. They looked like they were all going to have heart attacks! Then they looked at her. 'What are you doing! JACKIE! If you don't go with him, I will.' Susan mouthed at her. Jackie gave a snooty smile and winked.

"Are you in the El Camino?"

" 'Course, doll."

"Ok, let's go. Later girls."

Jackie smiled at the fact that every cheerleader was either squealing with excitement, shell shocked or burning with jealousy. This was doing lightyears of coolness for her reputation.

By the time they got to the basement, Kelso and Eric were hiding in the old shower. Jackie took off her coat and quickly fixed herself in a compact mirror while Hyde took off his. She took a deep breath-Micheal hadn't gotten to second base with her, and she was almost afraid that Steven would go too fast. If he was going to be her first time, he had to be her boyfriend. And buy her a pony. And roses. And matching t-shirts. And lots of jewelry.

"So."

"So, what do you wanna do?"

"I have an idea. Since that uniform looks really hot on you, do you wanna do all your little routines for me?"

Hyde threw in a smirk. Hey, at least she couldn't talk while she did it.

"I don't know Steven. I'm really tired already."

"Aw, c'mon. Please?"

Hyde smirked even bigger. The more tired she was, the easier it would be to execute Operation Ugly Jacks.

"OK."

After 20 minutes of all of her cheers, plus trying to make them extra appealing for Steven, Jackie was exhausted. She really just wanted to sleep, but she knew Hyde would think she was a baby.

"Say, Steven, weren't you going to show me your room?"

"Yeah, it's back here. Follow me."

As Hyde started back towards his room, Jackie took a deep breath, fixed herself a little, and walked behind him. She still had to look fabulous even though she felt like passing out.

"So this is the closet-" Hyde pointed to a scuffed bedside table with a bunch of tshirts, button downs, cords and jeans all around it. She wondered where all of his shoes were, then looked down. Were those the only pair of boots he owned?

"And that's the bed."

Jackie tensed up when Hyde turned around to walk out, but then realized how close they were standing. 'Just go ahead and kiss him, you already know he'll kiss back.' Her mind told her. She decided to go with that instinct.

A second later they were locking lips. And tongues, at that. Thoughts raced through their brains.

"Omigod, he's a really good kisser.'

'UGH, GET OFF OF ME! Ok, so she's not a bad kisser. But Jesus, it's Burkhardt! How could I not be disgusted?'

She decided to be the first to make a move and started pulling him onto the bed. But at the faintest sound of Mrs. Forman calling for Hyde, he broke away quickly and told her to wait there. He walked out of the room and made sounds like he was going upstairs but actually went over to the old shower. Jackie took a couple of deep breaths-that was such a good kiss! But that was all it took to completlely wear her out-a few moments later she decided to 'rest her eyes' until Steven got back but ended up in a deep sleep.

"What the hell, man? She just kissed me. It was like I could taste the devil's evil!"

"Dude, Hyde, she kissed you? You dogged me man!"

"Whatever you're not even dating her. Forman, I think she's asleep. You got the marker?"

"Marker ready."

"Alright. Let's ruin this chick's rep."