Authors Note
Thank you so much for your reviews and favorites and follows to this story I am so glad people are enjoying it. Thank you also for the great recommendations of other Roman loving authors than I can support and read and review to support them. I will look them up and am eager to check out their writing!
Thank you too to my sweet friend Carol from the Vampire Diaries fandom for recommending me to her readers there. She is an amazing author and I have treasured knowing her and also sharing story ideas, and helping each other in our writing and her helping me with her medical knowledge too and title page art as well. She has been an amazing gift to the VD fandom for years in her ability to tell Damon and Elena stories and put them in so many times in history and keep their love alive in our hearts and we have loved her deeply for that.
Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. I was in the hospital with early stages of possible kidney stones this weekend and it was not at all my ideal way to celebrate Canada day. Felt like death for a few days and am only starting to feel more like myself but still really weak. Doctors caught it early so I was on super strong IV antibiotics and sent home to rest but I would not wish the pain on anyone.
I hope people had a much better weekend celebrating than I did.
I loved writing this chapter so I do hope you enjoy it. Eager to know what you think!
Gray eyes flew open as Roman gasped out and sat up fast. "Emily!" he called out almost unconsciously sensing her. His head swung to the side seeing the surprised look of the nurse that he recognized had come toward him just before he lost consciousness before.
But how long ago was that? Roman wasn't thinking of himself at all even with feeling more pain in his side and saw more blood as the shorter, blonde, middle aged women looked to be trying to cut his shirt off of him and get a better look at his wound. She fought to get him to lay back down, her round face scrunched up in frustration as the scissors she was holding fell to the floor.
He pushed her away and shook his head, his long hair falling all around his shoulders. "Where is she?" He pleaded with her, grabbing her hands before she could bend down and scoop up the scissors. His stare burned into her, pulling her attention to him and not her job of fixing his wound and he hoped she would understand the urgency of his question. He needed to know Emily was okay. She didn't have anyone else, at least here, that he knew of.
He gave the woman who had given up on the scissors and was now reaching to pull his blood soaked shirt over his head barely a second more to reply. And when she shook her head that she didn't know anything, he was already pushing past her and out of the exam room that she had somehow hauled him into. He was a big man so she must have gotten help to get him there but there was no one else there now.
Roman stormed through the emergency ward and pushed through the double doors meant for only doctors and staff past there. He turned by then to the following of a few nurses and orderlies and now it looked like another doctor who he had pushed past a moment before had chased after him till Roman turned and leaned his one bloody hand heavily on the wall, resting his head on it, his vision spinning slightly as he spoke.
"Look. I know this might seem really crazy to you all but I work here. I have a badge and ID and oh...shit!" he cursed knowing it was all in his bags in the SUV that he had just left running in the ambulance bay. He sighed and cringed at how all the fast moving was really hurting his knife wound.
"Okay, damn it." He punched the wall a couple times and the sting on his knuckles finally made the sharp pain on his side hurt less. Any kind of relief felt good. "Um." Roman looked back up at the eyes all watching him and again felt the room spin. "If someone can go to my car that I left in your emergency bay I have my ID there. I'm Dr. Reigns. I was sent here as a replacement for your head of cardio. Dr. MIcheals that just left last week."
The group was quiet and the man in the white coat stepped up and moved to shake his hand and offered a quick apology. He whispered to one of the other nurses to go get the bags to find his ID.
Roman was already pulling himself back upright and looking around at the room past the doors he had just pushed past. He knew they had taken her down this way and thought he heard someone mention surgery in the flurry of voices when he brought her in. Was it that serious? He dragged himself along the wall back and forth to check all the windows to the rooms and still had not found her.
The doctor that had helped said his name was Ambrose and he was a decent size guy with shorter wild blonde hair just barely sticking out of a scrub cap on and looked like he might have just come from a surgery. He had been whistling and Roman nearly ran him over on his way around the corner before he started following after him and calling him to take it easy.
Roman was trying to be patient and polite but that was just not working out well tonight. "Look man. I just want to know where they took her. The girl I came in with. Her name is Emily and she was beaten badly and possibly raped."
He grabbed the man's shoulders and shoved him slightly against the the wall, trying to not just blow up at him. The other doctor's calmness was making him feel even more cagey like a damn panther ready to pounce.
The smaller man nodded and met his eyes. Roman could see that he understood him and how important this was. He let him go without a word and the man was gone and out the door. He wasn't sure why but Roman felt he could trust him but somehow he just knew he could.
Looking back up he realized the other nurses and orderlies were still there and he yelled at them to leave him alone. They all scurried off leaving him in the empty, silent corridor alone with nothing but his rampant thoughts.
He started pacing, feeling less dizzy but then that made his wound hurt more too but he didn't give a flying fuck about himself right then and just needed to make sure she was okay.
Flashing back, his senses were on overload... he could feel the blood on his arms, the stickiness of it from her legs as he scooped her into his embrace. He felt her thin body shaking as her arms clung to his neck as he cradled her to his chest. He felt her head nuzzle in against his throat, her nose by his skin, he could hear her whimper in pain and he just walked faster, pushed his body quicker to get her to the help she needed.
He felt responsible and yet he had barely known her for an hour already. And now he felt crazy just not knowing where she was... knowing she was alone in here and had been hurt and God knows what they had all done to her.
He leaned on the wall between two rooms and pulled at his hair and just growled out in frustration out loud to the empty hallway as he slid to the floor and laid his head to his knees.
The doors burst open a few minutes later and his head snapped up instantly and he saw Dr. Ambrose nodding to him and motioned him to follow him. He was up and out the door and followed in silence behind the man. He thought to say something, a mumbled thanks but his brain felt so fried as it was and he was starting to feel light headed again, likely from his own blood loss.
The doctor turned to him as they got to a door on the surgical floor but just past the surgery ward. That seemed strange. "I'm Dean. Dr. Reigns. I think i should prepare you before you go in."
Roman saw Dean was literally standing in front of the door and staring him down and he knew he needed to at least try to be calm for whatever he needed to tell him. He took in a deep breath and nodded.
Dean put a hand on Roman's shoulder. "I know you had reported back in emerge that it was a possible rape you thought?" Roman nodded slowly, not knowing how much more he could take. Was it worse? He felt his heart just racing at all the thoughts just flooding his head and not knowing what was going on.
Dean pulled his sky blue scrub cap off and shoved it in his pocket. "Well she didn't need surgery. When you were still out they just got an ultrasound and checked for internal bleeding and Dr. Reigns..."
"Roman.. just call me Roman. If we are going to be colleagues then that just fine but what did they find? Is she okay?"
Dean hung his head. "She was pregnant. Almost 22 weeks."
Roman blinked at that and just stared at him. "Wait...WAS?"
"Yeah...the ultrasound couldn't find a heartbeat." Dean put his other hand on Roman's shoulder and squeezed it. "She doesn't know yet or doesn't understand. She took a really bad blow to the head so she isn't understanding what's going on about the baby and we have tried to tell her but she isn't hearing us. She is calling for you though. She remembers you. "
Roman felt like he just got the air kicked out of his lungs. He barely knew how to grasp anything that was being said. She didn't even know her baby was dead? Oh God. And she was calling for him?
Dean was looking up at him and motioned towards the room. "Maybe you can get through to her. Maybe she can hear you. But we do need to get your wound fixed up too man. That looks bad."
Roman glanced down at his torn and bloody shirt and lifted it up and saw how jagged the cut was and cringed in pain more as he pressed the shirt back down more. "Well can you just send someone in with some clean clothes and just patch it and I'll get it stitched up later? I need to be here for her now. She doesn't have anyone. I can't be dealing with that now."
"Then how about you let me take a look at that and if it didn't hit anything major then I'll let you focus fully on her okay? Just promise me you will stay right here and I promise you I will not let anyone bother you and stitch you up later."
Roman thought that sounded like a good deal. He looked back at the wound and saw that he couldn't see it to know how serious it was or sew himself back up based on the angle that it was so he welcomed the help and agreed to stay put just a few minutes longer.
Dean stepped forward slipping on a pair of gloves and lifted the blood soaked shirt higher and gently poked and prodded at the torn skin. He used his pen light too and from what Roman could see it wasn't bleeding as much if at all anymore but it stung and he felt waves of pain at the slightest touches.
Clearing his throat and stepping back Dean looked nodded to him. "It looks okay man. The worst of the bleeding seems to be just from the superficial tearing and likely from you carrying her like her chart says is how she got here. The knife didn't impact anything too deeply. I'll go get you that change of clothes. Just wait here and I will be right back."
The blonde doctor turned and nodded offering Roman a sympathetic half smile before disappearing down the hall. He looked happy to have placated him at least for now. Roman was grateful to have found such a kind and understanding friend in the middle of this nightmare.
His hands were still bloody he noticed as he leaned his head back on the door but they seemed to be mostly dried blood now too. She was quiet, at least now. He hadn't heard her in any kind of pain so that was good. He let his eyes fall closed slowly and wondered how he was going to tell her about the baby. If she was already refusing to hear it from anyone else how could he help her?
Dean was back quickly, just as he said as Roman was deep in thought. He passed him a pair of navy blue scrubs and looking both ways in the dimly lit hallway Roman just peeled off his bloody clothes right there tossed them in the pile on the floor. Tossing his boots and socks down too he wore nothing but his boxers. Dean held out a bag for him to toss his torn and bloody shirt and jeans into for the trash.
The doctor offered him a couple alcohol wipes but pointed to a sink in a nearby staff room Roman walked barefoot towards it and used a couple towels to clean off his hands and sterilized and cleaned the wound the best he could and put on a large bandage and taped it down.
The scrubs felt nice and normal and clean too as he pulled the top over his head and pulled the pants on and tied up the drawstring. Dean passed him fresh socks and a pair of runners that looked all too familiar.
"I had them get your ID and your bag had a bunch of other stuff in it so I thought bringing your gear up you would feel the most comfortable in." Dean shrugged almost bashfully as Roman smiled at him in appreciation and he leaned over to tie up his runners.
"Thanks man, really," he affirmed. "I haven't been thinking about me at all here so I really appreciate you having my back." Roman clapped Dean on the back and the smaller man smiled again.
"Glad to meet you. We will leave you guys alone awhile. I am not a prenatal doctor so I am not sure what the protocol is for stillbirths but I'm sure someone will be along later to check on her. I'm sure it will great working with you Dr. Reigns. just sorry it had to be in such crazy circumstances on your first day here.. night here...whatever," he said and spun on his heel and started heading down the hall.
Roman smiled in thanks and turned the knob and slipped in the door, closing it quietly behind him.
He leaned on the door as he felt the knob click and slowly moved forward toward the bed. The curtain was around the space, still hiding her from his eyes till he pushed past and saw her curled up in ball on the bed, her knees to her chest, her long hair like a blanket around her small body covered only by the paper thin white and blue checkered hospital gown.
She looked so small, curled into herself on the bed. The blankets were thrown off, halfway on the floor, her chin tucked down and her head turned away from him and toward the wall.
Ever so quietly Roman stepped closer, his runners barely making a sound on the shiny white floor. He could see now the slight bump of her swollen belly. He hadn't seen it before in the rush of getting her to the hospital. She had been carrying someone's baby.
His heart was breaking that she didn't even know she had lost her baby. Who's was it? Was he in the picture? Was she going to see him? Was that why she was racing to go on the bus? He had so many questions and truthfully none of it was any of his damn business.
His fingers were trembling as he reached for her. What was it about this woman, this small, scared girl, that had him so...captivated? He didn't even know if that was the right word. He felt like he just couldn't leave. Like fate was pulling him to be here.
She needed someone and had been calling for him...HIM.
And damn had he missed being needed.
Swallowing thickly he licked his dry lips. "Emily," he whispered, his throat cracking from just the one word leaving his mouth. HIs palm curled around her shoulder and she turned her head to him and he saw tears, so many tears pooling in her already red and swollen eyes. "You? You're here?"
His heart broke more seeing her like that and the words that spilled from his lips he barely registered as they left his mouth. "I'm here. I'm here. God baby I'm so sorry."
She reached for him, her body turning towards him and away from the wall and it was like the dam broke when he spoke and her tears just streamed down her cheeks now.
Roman bent to let her wrap her arms around his neck again, just as she had when he picked her up off the hard ground in the alley. Those thin arms clung with so much strength around his neck and she buried her head against his throat under the dark curtain of his long hair.
"Roman, you feel so safe. I barely remember what that feels like..." she whispered against his skin and he cradled her closer just wanting to take all the pain away.
How could someone have made him feel so strongly for her so fast? He did not know her past, her reason for running, or anything about her and yet she was sobbing against him and all he wanted to do was shield her from everything and everyone in the whole damn world that would dare to hurt even think of hurting her.
Roman cringed at the sharp pain from his knife wound as her bare leg brushed across his pant leg. He lifted her up in his arms and sat them both on the bed, her straddling his body. He hadn't planned for that to happen. She just naturally wrapped herself around him, pulling her arms tighter around his neck.
He could feel her slightly swollen belly now pressed right against his abs and he moved one hand down and felt the bump harden slowly and she started to whimper in pain and her hand found his on her stomach.
Whimpers turned to cries of pain as he watched her grit her teeth as her head rested on his shoulder and rolled back and forth till the hardening in her belly subsided.
Roman's eyes darted back and forth from their hands on her stomach and back up to her eyes, his mouth agape, his mind racing with so many questions. Only one made it to his lips, but one was all that was needed to understand what was going on.
"You're in labor aren't you?" he whispered and saw her nod and bite back more tears.
She looked like she as having a hard time just catching her breath but he bent his head more and saw her find his eyes. Her lip quivered as she spoke and Roman again felt his heart just burst for this precious woman.
She gripped his head and her deep brown eyes bore into his. "Please don't leave me..."
He was already shaking his head that he wasn't before she had finished the sentence but she put her one finger to his lips and silenced him before he spoke.
That simple touch sent bolts of electricity through him and he felt drawn to her pleading, desperate look back at him, like a moth to flame. He could very well have burst into flames at that very moment and he would not given a damn about burning alive under her heated gaze.
But her tears damn it, her tears were just breaking him more.
Roman used his thumbs to wipe away the tears still streaming as Emily sucked in another breath in through her teeth and shook her head more. "I know I'm losing the baby. But...I can't...I can't do this...alone." she choked out. She suddenly sat up straighter and just growled and she grabbed her belly again. "Ahh, I should never have left! Maybe then this would not have happened!"
Roman was still so confused as to what had all happened. She growled again and cried out in pain and he looked back at the door wondering if he needed to get the nurse. Maybe they could give her something for the pain.
Emily lifted her head and he cupped her face in his palms. "Hey, hey there. Just focus on me okay," he soothed, trying to pull her concentration to anything but the pain. Those beautiful brown eyes held his gaze again and he nodded back at her. "That's it. Just look at me. Okay. I saved you from those creeps trying to mug you. I got you to the hospital. I will get you through this too. I have nowhere to be. I am yours as long as you need me," he promised.
He saw her nod back to him, "My...my Superman.." she whispered.
She panted fast until the hardening on her belly subsided and she collapsed, but he caught her, cradling her in the crook of his arm before she fell to the bed.
He smiled at her, loving the nickname and that she saw him like that and so grateful now to feel her relax more in his arms. He had no idea how much he had really promised her in that moment. She was still straddling his lap and sat up more even in the pain she was in off and on everything felt very sexually charged too.
Roman stroked a knuckle down her cheek and watched her eyes fall closed at his touch and her forehead rested gently against his. She was sweaty and her hair tangly and yet all he saw was angelic peace on her face as her eyes closed. She wasn't crying out in pain, at least for the moment and even her hand clenched tight on her belly under his had loosened some.
He was in awe that such a simple touch from him could evoke such a reaction from her. He swallowed thickly before he spoke, hardly wanting to move an inch to in any way pull her from the calmness she looked wrapped in.
"That's it Emily, just relax.." he whispered, his forehead still pressed to hers. His eyes wide and open watching her as she slowly opened hers. His one palm was still wide spread over her stomach and the other that had caressed her cheek had snuck back behind her to run down her back. But the surprise was felt by both of them when her eyes opened at the same time as he felt the soft damp skin of her back between the folds of her hospital gown and his hand froze, skin to skin.
Roman's gray eyes were locked to her brown ones , their foreheads still touching as the air suddenly felt so much thinner in the room. Emily's breath hitched in her throat too but just as he pulled his eyes to study her lips, her mouth opened in a painfilled cry.
He could feel too, the instant her belly started hardening under his palm and he held her tighter. "What? What can i do? How i can I help you?" he called out to her. Again trying to draw her focus away from the pain.
"Ahhh, I don't know! I just want it to stop!" she whimpered. "Make it stop!" Her fingers clawed up his bare arms and she cried out louder and buried her head in his shoulder, her head going back and forth.
This time the pain didn't seem to stop for more than a minute after she had been crying and the whole time she was quiet he had stayed silent and not moved at all. Roman was scared anything he did could cause her to cry out again and so he let her claw her nails up his arms, and grip his shoulders tight or bury her head by his throat.
He caught himself looking at the door a couple times wondering if he should try to get a nurse or doctor. He wasn't qualified to deliver babies. Dean had not said he would be back. Was he getting someone? Were they just leaving her in here by herself indefinitely?
When he felt her start to move around on his lap again this time he pulled her attention back to him. "Hey Emily, do you want to walk around? Sit? Lean over, lie down? I can get a nurse too. I am a doctor but not for this. This is kind of out of my wheelhouse. But I can find someone to get you something for the pain."
Roman saw her puzzled look back at him , her face scrunched up like she was trying to decide what she wanted. Finally she nodded and yet he had no idea what that meant but she pulled herself off his lap and curled up tighter in a ball at the edge of the bed and pulled a pillow to her belly. "Nurse..." she mumbled and Roman pulled the call bell right away.
A young lady with fiery red ringlets and green glasses and soft pink scrubs came in and assessed the situation as Emily started crying more again and the nurse promised to get the doctor to get her pain meds right away. They were left in the room alone again and this time Emily was crying more and curled up in a fetal position on the bed.
Roman moved closer and sat on the bed and ran his hand on her side. God her pain was breaking him and he had no idea how to help. He was just about to ask what he could do when she grabbed for his hand and led it to her back, pushing it down.
"Rub, please. It hurts..." she gasped out between panting breaths. He met her eyes and nodded, smiling softly.
"Okay, anything." Roman promised again." I mean it. I will do anything to help you not think about the pain."
He saw her cry out again and clench her teeth as looked like she was hardly able to catch her breath. She pulled her body up to sitting, her hands wrapped around his arms. "Anything?" Deep brown met steely gray as her gaze pierced him deep and he could not even think clearly enough to speak but nodded to her whimpered question.
Her fingers gripped his neck fast, pulling his head down and before he could even think of what was happening, her mouth was hungrily covering his own. She held him tight, opening her lips, letting him in, and Roman cupped the back of her head and dipped his tongue in her mouth.
God damn she tasted amazing.
Emily whimpered into the kiss, still clinging to his neck before he felt those small fingers delve into his long dark hair. Roman tilted her head, deepening the kiss, not wanting it to end at all and in awe of the sparks he could feel zipping across his skin at their connection.
He had said he would do anything to stop the pain. And she had dove in and kissed him. For those precious seconds it didn't look like she was in any kind of pain at all.
Her hands were pulling him now, her lips still fused with his. They had not even broken apart to take in a deep breath at all. He found himself pulled by her small hands around his neck again down toward her on the bed and her twisted himself to lean over her, careful to not put any pressure on her belly.
Roman took that moment to finally pull back from her mouth to seek her face again and ask her if this was what she really wanted. He had a thousand questions spinning in his head at what was all happening between them already and yet he found himself letting her lead and doing whatever she needed, like he had promised.
Emily looked up at him shyly, "I'm...sorry.." she fumbled to say as her breath was still jagged in her throat.
Roman was smiling softly down at her, his eyes he was sure could have even been teary he felt so much emotion in such a short time. "Don't be.." he breathed out, stroking a damp piece of hair from her cheek to tuck it behind her ear as she panted beneath him.
His mouth was open, like he was going to say something else but she started to whimper in pain again and in seconds had pulled his mouth back down hard on hers. He swallowed her cries, feeling her wind her arms around his neck, as he fell more against her on the bed, savoring the pure and absolute bliss he felt at the shockwaves of emotion kissing her was bringing up in him.
She cried out again and Roman cupped her head, delving his mouth in deeper, tasting all she was offering and letting her get lost in him so she didn't feel the pain any more. He felt her body molded to his and her leg, wind around his, her hands running down his sides, and up his bare arms as she whimpered his name into the kiss.
The door slammed and jarred Roman to pull his head up and he vaguely saw the nurse had returned and was already talking a mile a minute as she entered the room and said the doctor was busy with another birthing mom and would be here as soon as he could be to give her the epidural. The baby would be very small and so it likely would not require much pushing but would still feel like a normal labor.
Roman had pulled back from her and sat up and the nurse seemed none the wiser at witnessing them kissing and Emily was already curled up again with a pillow to her belly. He just sat there stunned at all that had happened and was watching as the nurse got an IV ready and told her that she could give her some pain medication that way at least for now if she wanted and Emily nodded quickly.
He glanced down and saw her looking back up at him but neither of them said anything. Emily grabbed his hand again and moved it to her back. "Rub...please.." she choked out softly.
Roman shook his head and tried to clear his spinning thoughts and nodded back. For sure he could help that way. The nurse asked for her hand and Emily reached over him to grip bed railing to allow the nurse to attach the IV as she leaned down and grunted as more pain overwhelmed her and she started crying again.
He pulled her hair back from her face and shushed her gently, tenderly kissing the crown of her head. "Its going to be okay. Just breath okay. Just breath and close your eyes. Don't think of the pain."
Roman watched her shift her body on the bed as the nurse got her IV in and he slowly slid his palms around her waist. She groaned instantly and leaned her head to her arm on the railing as he carefully and gently massaged her bare back. The gown had fallen open when she moved to get her IV in and she was wearing little black underwear but her back was bare otherwise and his hands felt cold on her heated skin.
He was about to pull the gown closed or tie it up more when she moaned again that he felt good and so he continued and slid his hands around her sides, squeezing the pale skin between his fingers and finding any tightness in the muscles to rub it away. He sat on one leg, with the other hanging down off the bed as he molded and pulled at her sore and stretched muscles.
It was quiet in the room as the nurse was busy looking at a machine and Emily was panting slowly and evenly. Roman could see the sweat on her face, slip down her cheeks and he kept rubbing her back, using his knuckles on the sides of her spine as she moaned that it felt so good and higher and more. His hands shaking as he moved them up and down her bare sides, seeing very clearly she wasn't wearing any kind of a bra too. Everything felt very intimate already and all he was trying to do was help.
Suddenly she sat up fast and cried out and the nurse was shoeing him away to check her progress and sure enough it was time to push. He hadn't left the room at all, just gone past the curtain to give her privacy but now when he came back she looked all panicked. There was no more time for more meds and the nurse rushed to go get the doctor for delivery and Emily started crying hard again, between panting, gasping breaths.
Roman sat back on the bed. "Hey, its okay. You are going to be okay." he soothed her. Giving birth was supposed to be such a happy time. But he knew that was far from how she felt.
"No...nothing is okay!" Emily was looking around in fear now. "Nothing is okay! Ahhh! It hurts so much!"
Roman pulled her back in his arms in an instant, having no idea what else to do. He saw fear in her eyes. That didn't make any sense to all she was going through at all. "No! I should never have! I lost her! I did. And Its all my fault! And.."
She looked at him with such sadness in her eyes in a moment where there was a break from the pain. "I'm so sorry.." Emily sobbed pulling back from his arms and her fingers traced his face. She stroked down beside his eyes, along his cheeks, down to his lips to tug slightly on his bottom one and then run her hands through his silky dark hair that was in waves past his shoulders right now.
It felt like she was saying goodbye. He felt dread or darkness, even he could not even explain the heaviness in his heart right at that moment. Had she regretted kissing him? Meeting him?
But the pain was back again fast and her face changed from serene sadness, looking like she regretted something to pure anguish.
"Ahhh!" Emily screamed now and the nurse and doctor were there and there was a flurry of movement and yelled instruction. Roman stayed by her head and helped her push. He helped her by holding her hand and letting her squeeze his so tightly he could barely feel any circulation in it at all after.
The doctor yelled to push just once more and she did before she fell back in his arms behind her.
But there was no tell tale sounds of a baby crying.
There was only silence before Roman heard Emily call out for her baby and reach her hands toward the tiny bundle the doctor was passing the nurse.
"I want to hold her," Emily sobbed and reached further, almost trying to get up . Roman gently tried to keep her in the bed and saw the doctor was busy getting the placenta out and Emily had to push a few more times.
He held her hands and watched her eyes riveted to the nurse wrapping up the small baby in a soft pale pink blanket before passing it over to them. Emily's arms were already out stretched for her and Roman saw more tears streaming down her face.
He didn't know if he should be here for this. This was personal. He felt tears in his own eyes as he watched her cradle and rock the little bundle that was her baby girl. He leaned a little closer to peek in the blanket and saw that she could not have looked more perfect. Perfect little fingers and nose and face and a peaceful look on her tiny face.
"Hope," Emily choked out and Roman found her eyes. "Hope.. I was going to name her Hope.."
Oh God, could anything be more beautiful? he thought. Roman leaned in, his arm around both the precious woman he rescued and her stillborn little baby girl. He sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his one hand. "She's beautiful. That is a perfect name for her."
Roman bent lower, to kneel down at the side of the bed and took Emily's hand in his and waited for her to look back at him with her teary brown eyes. "I am so so sorry," he whispered to her and ran his hand down the pink blanket and then tenderly stood a bit more to press a kiss Emily's forehead.
He was going to say more when he noticed blood dripping from the side of his wound and onto the floor now as he sat crouched like that. He had not even felt any pain from his knife wound the last few hours. HIs focus had been completely on her.
Emily had bent to kiss her baby and nuzzle the blanket as Roman gingerly got to his feet and then felt a sharp pain in his side. Yep he definitely should get Dean to stitch that up.
He cleared his throat. "I have to go...for a bit." He stood up and Emily then saw the blood seeping through his scrub top and he nodded. "Yeah I need to get a little more patched up from our little run in with those goons tonight. But are you going to be okay?"
Emily nodded, smiling softly. "Yeah...I could use a couple minutes alone with her, I think. Everything just feels so..."
She didn't even finish that sentence but he knew what she meant and he felt it too. Roman leaned back down, tucking another strand of hair behind her ear and nuzzled her nose with his. "I meant what I said. I'm here...as long as you need me...or want me.."
He felt her breath catch at their closeness again and she nodded back at him. Still cradling her little girl, she opened her mouth to say something else but he stopped her with a quick but firm press of his lips to hers. This time it was his choice to initiate the kiss and she sunk into the warmth of his lips and held his cheek in her palm as he moaned into her mouth.
Roman pulled back, seeing more fear on her face again. What was she afraid of? "Till later?" he whispered and she nodded numbly.
He turned to leave but could not get over the sense of dread again that fell over him as he headed out of her room.
The fear in her eyes was real. She looked like she needed to tell him something.
Yet she looked as lost in his kiss as he was in hers...so could he not just hope that for once in his life good things could actually be happening to him? Wasn't he allowed to believe in hope too?