A/n: this is everything I wish I could have said to my BFF and the boy I 'loved'. This story is based on true events. Everything in here is real and came straight from my diary. This was hard to write so I hope you like it! But...on a happier note...I AM over this dude! Lol!
Miley's POV:
There are a lot of things I regret. But one thing I regret the most is losing touch with you. You were my best friend and I loved you. The day you moved to Seattle was the saddest day of my life. But, we swore and spit promised we wouldn't loose touch. What happened to the promise? I guess somewhere in our busy life's we lost touch. You got into track and football and I got into drama. Slowly, we pushed each other to the hollows of our minds. I was terrified of moments when I had time to think of you, so I sighed up for countless things...Drama, Theater, Chorus, Art and it worked great. I would forget you until those moments I was alone in the dark at night. Then it would all hit me.
I know we haven't spoken for a while
But I was thinkin bout you
And it kinda made me smile
Today, thinking about you actually didn't bring pain. Before every time I thought of you, I pictured your face as you boarded the plane and left me standing there. Today, I thought of your smile, and how we used to hide in our bathrooms past our phone curfews talking to each other. When I was crying, You always told the funnest jokes and got me to laugh. So today, when I found your email address, I decided I really needed to write to you. I had so much pain built up in side I just needed to get it all out.
So many things to say
And I'll put em in a letter
Thought it might be easier
The words might come out better
How's your mother, how's your little brother?
Does he still look just like you?
I try so hard Oliver. I want you to know I try not to cry...but it hurts to much. I miss you. How is Mrs. Oken and Morgan? (A/n: Morgan is a boy) I hope they are okay.
So many things I wanna know the answers to
Wish I could press rewind
And rewrite every line To the story of me and you
I wish I had a magical pen. And A book of our life's. I would white out you leaving, and add a dance. All I need is one more day with you. Just one more time to see your face. When you left, I got so upset Lilly took all your pictures out of my room. She insisted I needed to get over you. Yeah right.
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I don't know what to do anymore. I go through life like a zombie. I don't like being the zombie. It scares me. But...I try so damn hard. I've made it a mind game, 'try and not think of Oliver'. Hell, I was never good at mind games. I'm so confused. You told me you 'loved' me. I was crazy enough to believe I could be in love at 14. I guess things aren't meant to be. I'm glad I'm writing this to you. Its everything I should have said.
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you
Yesterday, I came across a note you wrote me. And it brought back so many memories. I still remember the phone conversation we had.
Oliver: So...we're moving next month.
Silence.
Oliver: Miley? You there?
Miley: y-yeah.
Oliver: Are you crying? Please don't cry.
Miley: your going to forget me aren't you?
Oliver: no...no of course not Mile! I'll call you everyday...twice!
Miley: Promise?
Oliver: swear.
Miley: On your big brothers life?
Oliver: yeah...but thats not betting on much...
That was one of the biggest lies you told. I guess I should just get over it. So I guess I should just burn my diary and forget you. It seems easier then all this.
Excuse me, I really didn't mean to ramble on
But there's a lot of feelings that remain since you've been gone
I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me
But it seems there's always somethin right there to remind me
Right when I forget you, something reminds me of you. Like...last night I was at a party with Lilly and everything was going great. Until 'Untitled' by Simple Plan came on. I felt like crying and had to excuse myself to the bathroom so I could prevent a make up run.
Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v.
Boy it aint easy
When I hear our song
I get that same old feeling
Wish I could press rewind
Turn back the hands of time
And I shouldn't be telling you
I really shouldn't be telling you this...especially now when you've probably gotten over me already. But...I won't ever be able to get over you until you know how I feel. So read this for me.
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you
Yesterday I got those pictures back from Lilly. I set them out on my bed and looked at them for an hour. That night, I just left them there...afraid to put them in a box. Like...I would wake up and they would be gone. Jackson made fun of me saying I was a 'sissy' but Lilly set him straight.
Did you know I kept all of your pictures
Don't have the strength to part with them yet
Oh no...
Tried to erase the way your kisses taste
But some things a girl can never forget
I try to forget Oliver. Its not like I want to remember..on the other hand...forgetting is my worst fear. I don't ever want to get to a point when I have to say "Oliver who?" It would hurt to much.
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you
So Oliver Oken, I'm going to push send and send you this. And hopefully then I can be over you. Hopefully, the pain and emptiness will disappear like the only remaining chocolate chip cookie on my kitchen table. But until then...
Love,
Miley Stewart.
P.s.: I'm still not over you.
A/n: LoL! Hope you liked! Plez R&R!