Chapter 8
Disclaimer: I do not own ER , but the character of Melanie Malucci is my creation. The other ER characters are just for my enjoyment. :D No copyright infringement is intended.
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Susan opened the door to Susie's room and found her asleep at her desk. Susie's head rested on one of her open textbooks, her desk lamp still on and a notebook and pen nearby.
Susan smiled at the sight, remembering how she herself had fallen asleep studying throughout high school, college and medical school. She still did it sometimes if she was doing research. Susan gently lifted Susie from the chair.
"Wow, you're heavier than I remember," she said softly. "Granted, I haven't put you to bed since you were a little girl." Susan quietly lay Susie on her bed and covered her with a blanket. She kissed the girl's head. "I love you." Susan turned off the desk lamp and was about to exit the room.
"Thanks, Mom," Susie muttered in her sleep. Susan was taken aback for a moment, and wondered if Susie was talking about her or Chloe. It had been three months since Susie's confession of her life with Chloe, who had already filed to terminate her parental rights. Susan and Mark were Susie's guardians and had already submitted the paperwork to legally adopt her as soon as Chloe's rights were extinguished.
"Sweet dreams, baby girl," Susan said as she closed Susie's bedroom door. She walked back to her bedroom, hoping it was she Susie had called 'Mom.' Susan approached her bed and found Mark sound asleep. She smiled, turned out the light and crawled into bed next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.
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"No! No!" The screams pierced the silence of the night, and with a flash, Susan was out of bed and ran to Susie's room. She found her sitting up in bed, sweaty and shaking.
"Susie, honey, what happened?" Susan asked as she wrapped her arms around Susie.
"She - she wouldn't let me up and I couldn't breathe," Susie said breathlessly. "There was water - so much water - and I thought I was going to drown." Tears rolled down Susie's cheeks. "She was laughing at me."
"She? Chloe?" Susan asked gently.
"Yeah," Susie said. The shaking subsided a bit, and she clung to Susan. "She was holding me under the water."
"Susie, did this really happen, or was it a nightmare?" Susan asked. Please say it was just a nightmare, she prayed silently.
"It really happened," Susie admitted softly.
"When? Why didn't you tell me?" Susan replied, shocked.
"When I was eight," Susie began, "and you'd gone to Houston for a medical conference. One day Chloe and I were in the pool and she pulled me under the water and wouldn't let me up. She was laughing - it was this really mean cackling kind of laugh - and called me a wimp."
"How long were you under?" Susan asked.
"Just a few seconds," Susie said. "Chloe thought it was a big joke, and when I began to cry she hit me and told me to shut up."
"Sweetie, why didn't you tell me?" Susan implored.
"Because Chloe said that if I did, she'd hurt you," Susie confessed. "I love you and I didn't want anything to happen to you."
"I love you, too," Susan said. She gently rocked Susie and her shaking stopped.
"Will you stay with me?" Susie asked quietly.
"Of course," Susan answered. She covered Susie with a blanket and continued to soothe her. "You don't ever have to worry about being hurt again, Susie. Not as long as I'm here."
"Okay," Susie replied sleepily. Feeling comfortable in Susan's arms, Susie quickly drifted back to sleep.
Susan looked down at the young girl and stroked her hair. "Chloe, you don't know how good you had it," she muttered quietly.
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A couple of days later, Susan and her cousin, Melanie Lewis-Malucci, sat in Susan's kitchen. They sipped coffee and talked.
"Poor Susie," Melanie said as she shook her head. "I can't believe what that girl has been through."
"Damn Chloe! Did she know what a wonderful child she had? No, and she didn't appreciate her," Susan retorted.
"Susan, have you thought about taking her to counseling? It could help a great deal," Melanie suggested. "I went after I was attacked, and I know that it helped me a lot."
"I've thought about it," Susan said as she stirred her coffee. She looked at Melanie. "I think Susie called me 'Mom' the other night."
"Really? What did she say?" Melanie sipped her coffee, an expression of interest on her face.
"I was tucking her into bed after she'd fallen asleep studying," Susan began. She noticed a smile cross Melanie's face and laughed. "Yes, just like I used to do. So I was on my way out of her room when she said 'Thanks, Mom.'"
"Hmm," Melanie said.
"What's the 'hmm' about?" Susan asked.
"You said that Chloe told Susie not to call her Mom, right?" Melanie asked. Susan nodded and Melanie continued, "Then maybe she was talking to you."
"I really hope so," Susan confessed as she drank her coffee. "I've thought of Susie as my daughter, even after Chloe had taken her back. She was never my niece again, not in my heart. She was my baby girl and always will be."
"I can ask my therapist if she can recommend someone for Susie to talk to," Melanie offered.
"I'd really appreciate that," Susan said. "And it's okay for you to tell Dave. I just want to keep this quiet, just between the family."
"Of course," Melanie said. "Susan, you know that anything you tell me stays with me. I don't even have to tell Dave."
"You can," Susan replied. "He's a great guy and Susie adores him. He's been really sweet, teaching her how to play basketball. She needs some positive male influences in her life."
"How's Mark been with Susie?" Melanie picked up a muffin and began to remove its wrapper.
"He adores her, and she feels the same way," Susan said, as she helped herself to a muffin. "They've even instituted one night as their own night to hang out together."
"Really? What've they been doing?"
"Last week it was a Monopoly marathon, where Susie beat Mark two games in a row," Susan said with a laugh. "And they've gone out to lunch together and to a movie." Susan poured more coffee in her mug and offered some to Melanie, who shook her head. "And I think it's been good for Mark, too. He misses Rachel since she's away at college."
"Has Mark mentioned adopting Susie to Rachel?" Melanie asked.
"Yes, and she was thrilled to hear she'd have a little sister. She remembers Susie from when she was a baby and always liked her." Susan set the coffee pot down. "I really want this to work out, Mel. I feel like Susie finally has some stability in her life. She doesn't have to worry about moving around every few years, or having a mother who will be drunk or high or gone for days on end. She can relax and enjoy her life."
"She's lucky to have you," Melanie stated firmly.
"I'm the lucky one, to have her as my daughter," Susan said. She looked at her watch. "Susie should be back soon, and then we can hit the mall."
"She's so excited to get her ears pierced!" Melanie said as she carried her coffee mug to the sink. She rinsed it out and placed it in the dish drainer.
"It's all she's talked about since Friday night." Susan washed out her own mug and heard the door slam and thumps on the stairs. "The joys of living with a teenager - I never have to wonder if she's home or not!"
Melanie laughed, but the moment was broken with a cry of "Oh my goodness!" Susan ran up the stairs quickly, and approached the closed bathroom door.
"Susie, are you okay?" she asked worriedly.
"Mom? I um…I got my period!" Susie said excitedly. She opened the door a crack. "I just don't have any stuff, like pads." She frowned. "You don't use tampons, do you?"
"No way," Susan replied.
"Good, those gross me out," Susie admitted with a wrinkle of her nose.
"Stay right here, and I'll get you something." Susan ran off to her room and retrieved some pads. She returned to Susie and handed one to her. "Do you need any help?"
"No, I'm good," Susie said. "Thanks, I'll be right out." She closed the door and Susan's face broke into a broad smile.
"She called me Mom!" Susan felt like turning a cartwheel, but wisely negated the idea. Susie emerged from the bathroom a moment later, and Melanie came upstairs.
"Is everything all right?" she asked.
"Yep, I just got my period for the first time!" Susie exclaimed.
"Congratulations!" Melanie hugged Susie. "I think your mom was the same age when she got hers. Right, Susan?"
"Yes, I was fourteen as well," Susan said.
"I want to finish getting ready," Susie said. "I'll just be a minute." Susie went into her bedroom and Melanie turned to Susan.
"So, she did call you Mom! Congratulations to you too!" Melanie hugged her cousin. "I haven't seen you this happy since Chris was born."
"I haven't felt this happy since then," Susan admitted. "I'm going to check on her."
"Okay, I'll get my things ready." Melanie walked downstairs and Susan entered Susie's bedroom.
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Susie slid a headband into her hair, frowned, and took it out. She brushed it as Susan entered.
"If you want, I can get you some aspirin." Susan sat on Susie's bed.
"Oh, for cramps? I don't have any now." Susie brushed her hair and looked at Susan in the mirror's reflection. "I just thought I had to go to the bathroom. This was a pretty cool surprise!"
"If you have any questions, you can ask me," Susan offered. "I don't know if your mom - um, Chloe - talked to you about this."
Susie rolled her eyes and put her hairbrush down. "Oh yeah, she would have time for me in her busy schedule of drinking, doing drugs and acting like a total whore." Susan flinched and Susie noticed. "Can you do me a favor?"
"Anything," Susan replied.
Susie stared at her dresser for a moment, and then turned to Susan. "Don't ever mention her name again."
"I actually thought if you talked to someone, it might help you," Susan said quietly.
"Someone like who? You?" Susie asked as she leaned on her dresser.
"I was thinking more along the lines of a therapist," Susan said. "Someone who is trained to help you deal with what you've been through."
"I um…I don't know," Susie replied. She played with a bracelet that she wore on her left wrist.
"Susie, you've been through an abusive relationship. Talking to a therapist could really help you."
"Have you ever been to one?" Susie asked.
"Yes, I have," Susan admitted.
"When?" Susie asked with interest.
"After I lost you," Susan said softly. "When Chloe was awarded custody of you, I went through a very rough time. I couldn't sleep, I barely ate, and work was the only thing I had. It was the reason I moved to Phoenix, just to be with you."
"You loved me that much?" Susie asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"More than you will ever know," Susan said. She rose and walked to Susie and put her arm around her shoulder. "So, what do you say?"
"Okay, I'll go," Susie replied. "You'll come with me, right?"
"Absolutely," Susan said. She hugged Susie. "I love you, baby girl. I would do anything for you."
"I love you, too," Susie said. "So, now that I'm calling you Mom, should I refer to Uncle Mark as Dad?"
"I think he'd like that," Susan answered. "Are you ready to go?"
"To get my belly button pierced?" Susie joked. "Of course!"
"I'm going to enjoy life with a teenager." Susan and Susie walked out of the bedroom. "You have a great sense of humor."
"Who said I was joking?" Susie smirked as she and Susan went down the stairs to meet Melanie.
She has my sense of humor, too, Susan thought to herself. She looked at Susie, who was talking animatedly with Melanie. I wouldn't have it any other way.