Chapter 9
Disclaimer: I do not own ER, though if I did, I'd write things much differently. :P No copyright infringement is intended.
Susie sat in her therapist's office. She had been seeing Dr. Watkins once a week for a month now, and felt she was making progress in small "baby steps."
"How have you been this week, Susie?" Dr. Watkins asked as they sat down.
"Okay," Susie began. "I was sick earlier this week, but I'm better now."
"I'm glad to hear that," Dr. Watkins said. "What was the matter?"
"I had a fever," Susie explained. "And I was sent home from school."
"Have you been writing in a journal, like I suggested?" Dr. Watkins inquired.
"I have," Susie said. "Can I read to you what I wrote a couple of days ago?"
"Of course." Dr. Watkins sat back in her chair as Susie opened her journal.
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Susie's POV. It takes place on Monday at Westfield Academy.
I wasn't feeling that hot when I woke up, but I thought maybe my period was coming again. At first I found getting my period to be pretty cool - you know, I was growing up, not a little kid anymore, all that - but the cramps suck!
Mom dropped me off at Westfield, but before I got out of the car she looked me over. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm fine." I brushed off her concern. Hey, she is a doctor after all!
Mom quickly kissed me good-bye and I grabbed my backpack and went inside. I felt okay for first period Health, and second period Biology. After third period French I began to feel tired. I slumped into my seat in my next class, US History. Normally I loved this class and the teacher, Mrs. Young, but today I couldn't keep my eyes open. And I didn't even sit in the back, where I could possibly avoid being noticed. No, I had to sit right up front!
Mrs. Young was talking about reviewing the homework we'd had over the weekend. I didn't even hear her when she said to open our books. She noticed, though, and called on me.
"Susie? Did you hear me? Please open your book to page 422."
"Oh, sorry," I said. I slowly opened my book and rubbed my head. Mrs. Young observed me and walked over to my desk. "You look sort of pale." She reached over and felt my forehead with her hand. "And you're warm." She turned to my best friend, Lea, and asked her to take me over to the nurse's office. Lea carried my books for me and we walked over to the nurse.
The nurse, Mrs. O'Brien, took my temperature. It was 101.4 degrees. No wonder Mom thought I was coming down with something. Mrs. O'Brien called County. Mom and Dad were working and Chris was in the hospital's day care center. Mom said she'd be there right away.
I began to hope she really would. It wasn't that I was feeling crappy - which I was. I remembered getting sick at my old school in San Francisco. I'd had a fever then too, around the same degree I had now. The nurse had called Chloe, and she'd said she would be there soon. An hour passed, and the nurse contacted Chloe again. Chloe had asked them to give me some medicine and she would be at the school soon to get me.
I ended up walking home by myself later that day and stayed home the next day, still sick.
Mom hurried into the nurse's office about fifteen minutes after Mrs. O'Brien had called her. I was so happy to see her. Not only did it reaffirm that she'd always be there for me, but I felt lousy. I wanted to go home, curl up in my sweats, and go to sleep.
I was lying on a cot when Mom walked over and kissed my head. "I knew you didn't look right this morning," she said.
"It's okay," I reassured her. "I just want to go home." Mom helped me up and signed me out at the attendance office. We climbed into her car and went home.
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Right after arriving home, I changed into my favorite sweats and a t-shirt and crawled into bed. Mom came upstairs with some aspirin and water. I took those and laid back to rest. Mom sat next to me on my bed and rubbed my head.
"Thanks for coming," I said tiredly.
"I wouldn't be anywhere else," she replied.
"I knew you'd be there." I yawned. "Not like Chloe."
"She would've come to get you, Susie. Right?" Mom looked like she wanted to believe what she said, but was struggling.
"Not really." I sat up in bed and told Mom about San Francisco, and getting sick at school, and Chloe's neglecting to pick me up. Mom either wanted to cry or scream when I was done with my story.
"You will never, ever have to worry about that, Susie," she said. "Your Dad and I love you more than you'll ever know." She leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Now get some sleep."
I laid back against my pillows and shut my eyes. "Stay?" I asked in a quiet voice.
"Sure," Mom said. She stretched out next to me and stroked my hair until I fell asleep.
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Susie closed her journal and looked at Dr. Watkins. "That's what happened this week."
Dr. Watkins nodded. "Chloe never came to get you?" Susie shook her head. "What happened when you went home that day?"
"She said I was able to rest at the school and the nurse had given me some medicine so I should be fine. And that I was a big kid and needed to grow up." Susie ran her fingers over the journal's cover. Susan had bought it for her, and there was picture of flowers on the front.
"How did that make you feel?"
Susie shrugged. "Like she didn't care, but I knew that anyway. At least my mom cares about me now."
"You were still uncertain as to whether or not she would come to get you." Dr. Watkins crossed her legs. "Did you think she would let you stay at school if you were sick?"
"No, not that much. I was just scared but it turns out I didn't need to be." Susie put the journal into her backpack.
"But part of you thought she would neglect you, if that's the right word?"
"I'm not used to being part of a loving, caring family," Susie explained. "It's like coming from another country, where I don't know the customs or language." Susie sat up in her chair. "My mom used to curse a lot, especially at me. She rarely ever cooked dinner, and our apartment was a mess unless I cleaned it up."
"What else was life with your mother like? We haven't delved into that much," Dr. Watkins stated.
"I always wanted to get good grades so I could get a college scholarship," Susie began. "So I'd work hard, and Chloe used to call me a nerd and said I didn't have friends."
"Did you have friends?"
"At school, yes. But I couldn't bring them to my home and let them meet Chloe."
"What made your mother decide to let you live in Chicago?" Dr. Watkins inquired.
"We had a big fight one night and I said I wanted to live with my Aunt Susan," Susie answered. "Chloe said she didn't care what I did. But then a couple of days later, she was nice to me and began talking about Westfield Academy. She'd gotten an application and showed me the website and I really liked it. Later on I found out she listed my Uncle Mark and Aunt Susan as my parents on the application."
"How did that make you feel?"
"Confused, angry, upset. I didn't understand why she would do this, but then again, I did understand. She never wanted me. She took off when I was a few months old and my Aunt Susan - I mean, Mom - raised me. She wanted to adopt me, but Chloe was able to get custody. Mom missed me so much that she moved to Phoenix to be with me."
"What was your life in Phoenix like?" Dr. Watkins pushed some of her dark brown hair back.
"When I was with my mom - Susan - it was great. We'd go to the mall, the movies, everywhere together. I kind of had a sense that something was different with her, though, like she was sad."
"What was making her sad?"
"She missed my Dad," Susie said simply. "I picked up on it when I was about four years old. She moved to Phoenix when I was around 18 months old, and before she boarded the train at Union Station, my Dad ran up to her and confessed that he was in love with her. They even kissed!" Susie smiled at the memory. "It's romantic, isn't it?" Dr. Watkins nodded and smiled in return. "But my Mom got onto the train to be with me. I think my Dad just waited all those years for her to return. Chloe and Joe and I were moving to San Francisco, and we seemed like a happy family. In a way, we were. Joe was a good guy to me and Chloe, and she was nice to me sometimes. I felt maybe we'd make it."
"How long did you live in San Francisco?"
"Five years," Susie said. "We moved when I was eight and a half."
"Did you like it there?"
"At first, yes. Joe took me and Chloe to Fisherman's Wharf and showed us around. His cousin lived there and we'd all get together and have dinner. I began to feel like I had a real family after a while."
"What changed, then?"
"When I was twelve, almost thirteen, Joe and Chloe split up. He moved out, but still lived just a few blocks away. And in the beginning, he'd come to visit me and we'd go out together - to a ballgame, or dinner. After a while that stopped, though."
"How did you feel when Joe wasn't around anymore?"
"Abandoned," Susie said. "And scared. Chloe was getting meaner and at least Joe would've stopped her from hitting me."
"Did she hit you often?"
"Yeah," Susie nodded. "Just for stupid little things, like telling her not to get drunk and to get a job. She applied for welfare, and Joe would send some money once in a while."
"So you, in effect, had to be the parent?"
"Yes. I guess it's why I'm kind of mature for my age," Susie replied. "I had to learn to take care of myself when I was still young." Susie blinked her eyes, desperately trying to keep her tears back. "Damnit!" The tears spilled over and Susie wiped them away. "I hate her. I hate Chloe. She only gave a damn about me when it was convenient for her."
Dr. Watkins handed Susie a tissue. "Have you told your parents about this?"
"Parts of it," Susie said as she wiped her eyes. "I didn't want to unload all of this on them at once. They're busy with work and Chris."
"They do care about you. I can tell," Dr. Watkins stated firmly.
"I know," Susie said. "I let them read what I write in my journal, and then we talk about it at home. We only began doing that last week, but it felt good."
"I'm very happy that you have such a strong support system," Dr. Watkins said. She glanced at the clock. "And I'm sorry that our session is over for today. I'll see you next week, right?"
"Same time, same place," Susie joked. She picked up her coat and backpack. "Thanks, Dr. Watkins."
"Take care, Susie," Dr. Watkins replied. "I'm glad you're feeling better." Dr. Watkins put her arm on Susie's back and gently guided her to the waiting area. Susie grinned to see not only Susan there, but Mark and baby Chris. They rose and went to meet her.
"How'd it go today, honey?" Susan asked.
Susie put her coat on. "Pretty well," she answered.
"I was thinking we could try out that new burger place on Second," Mark said. "What do you think?"
"I'm in the mood for a burger," Susie replied. "And a huge cup of coffee."
"You had to inherit that from me, didn't you?" Susan said with a fake groan. "Just don't start your little brother on the coffee addiction, okay?"
"Not until he's two, Mom," Susie said, a mock tone of surprise in her voice. Susie picked up her backpack and turned to her parents. "I'm hungry!"
"Let's go then," Mark said. He picked up the carrier that held baby Chris and the family walked to the door.
"Bye, Dr. Watkins. Thanks again!" Susie said with a small wave.
"Take care, Susie." Dr. Watkins smiled as the Greene family left her office, talking and laughing.