The next month went by rather quickly. With Mark's Buzzline money, and portions of Collins and Mimi's paychecks, the money to keep The Center open increased steadily. Mark had even convinced Emily to try and sell some of her pictures on the street, an act that not only brought in a few hundred dollars alone, but had also amazed Emily, who had never had the confidence to consider placing her work up for sale. Now the moment of truth had come. The bankers who dealt with the financial funding for The Center were due to arrive at any moment. The Bohemians, minus Roger, whom Mimi and admitted had been disappearing quite frequently lately, were gathered around Emily in her room, watching as she calculated the total profits from their efforts on a yellow scratch pad.

"Great," Emily groaned finally. "It's still not enough."

"Hold on," Roger announced as he suddenly entered the room. "Add this to the pot." To everyone's surprise, he deposited a reasonable stack of money on the table in front of Emily.

"Roger, where'd you get that?" Mark asked, visibly shocked.

"Well," he began sheepishly. "I didn't want to say anything before, 'cause I didn't want to get your hopes too high. But I've been playing my guitar on the street corners, kinda like how Angel used to get her money, remember? That's all I managed to get, but I really hope it's enough." After a silence, in which everyone was too stunned to speak, Mimi let out an excited shriek, and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him full on the lips.

"Oh, Roger, babe! That was so sweet!" she cried. "So that's where you've been disappearing to all this time!"

"So Emily, is it enough?" Collins prompted.

The Bohemians stood by as Emily added Roger's contribution to their total on her scratch pad and compared it to the foreclosure notice. After a few tense seconds, she lowered the papers.

"We're... still a few hundred dollars short," she announced in defeat. "And time's up." Emily got up from the table and turned to face the window. In the street, she saw the funding people had arrived, and were now walking into The Center. "I really thought I had a chance."

"Emily, we're so sorry," Maureen said, in an attempt to comfort her.

"Forget it, Maureen. We did our best. It just wasn't good enough, you know? Thanks for trying."

Sighing, Emily once again fiddled with her locket. a move that had became almost characteristic of her.

"I wish…" she whispered. "I wish Zack was here. He'd know what to do. He always knew what to do."

Silently, she headed downstairs to meet the funding people to hand ownership of The Center to the bank.

Hours had passed. After The Center's financial backers had gone, Emily had returned to her room and immediately plopped down on the bed, where she proceeded to absentmindedly scratch Wenceslas' ears. Collins had to step out a few moments ago, as he had an obligation to attend a faculty meeting at NYU. Joanne had also pulled Maureen away as well, stating that there was something they needed to do as soon as possible. Thus, only Mark, Roger and Mimi remained to try and cheer Emily up a bit.

"Maybe," Mimi began, still trying to remain hopeful, "If we talk the bank and ask them to give us more time…."

"Stop it, Mimi," Emily scolded, her eyes suddenly over-bright, as if fighting back tears. "They gave us a month, and it wasn't enough. The fat lady has sung. Our efforts weren't good enough. Perhaps," Emily looked away at this point, her voice starting to crack. "Maybe I was never good enough."

"Don't talk like that!" Mark cried.

"Give me another explanation, Mark," Emily demanded, standing up and fixing him with an angry glare. "If seven years wasn't enough to earn the right to adopt Penny, then what is? I let her down, don't you get it? I promised I'd always be there to protect her, no matter what. If I can't even keep a promise I made to a little girl, then how can I ever say I was good enough? Can you answer me that?" When Mark couldn't come up with an answer, Emily sat back down on the bed, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Emily," Roger, who had been quiet up to that point, spoke up. "I want you to listen closely, because this is important. Whatever you do, don't do what I did. When I lost April, leaving me to face my HIV status and my heroin withdrawal alone, I gave up on life. For a whole year, I wouldn't leave the loft for anything. I didn't think anything mattered anymore. I was going to die anyway, so why should I even try? But that's when I met Mimi. With her help, I finally figured out that my life wasn't over yet. There was still so much to live for. I realize that this situation isn't the same thing, but in some aspects, it's the same. You can't give up, because there are still things worth fighting for. And when it really gets tough, you turn to your friends. Because we're always here for you, like the way they were always there for me."

When Emily didn't show any sign of replying, Roger motioned to Mark and Mimi to leave the room with him. However, just when they started to walk out…

"Stay," Emily croaked, her voice strained by forced-back tears. "I'm sorry, all of you. I know I'm acting like a whiny brat and all…"

"No, you're not…" Mimi began.

"Please, let me finish. After my mom and dad died, it was just me and Zack. We were just two lost kids in a big city. He was seven years older then me, but he was still young himself, only eleven. But he promised me, that no matter what happened to us, he'd always be there to protect me. But then he died, and I was left to practically fend for myself. Sure, I had Nana, and there was Uncle Kevin…"

"You have an uncle?"

"No. Not really. I'm talking about Officer Kurtz. I told you before my brother, Zack, was a cop when he was alive. He and Officer Kurtz were in the same precinct. In fact, they were partners. Actually, when I think about it, their relationship wasn't unlike the one Roger has with Collins. When Zack died, Officer Kurtz made it a habit to check up on me from time to time, sometimes bringing a care package of food, and sometimes some money. Not much, just enough to help me get by. 'Cause when Zack died, I was still a minor, see?

"But despite having Nana and Officer Kurtz around, it still wasn't the same. They weren't Zack. He'd promised me that he'd always be around to protect me. But then he died. It was a little over a year later that Penny was born. That was one day I'll never forget. I had never seen an actual newborn before then, so I was a little taken aback by how small she was. I even said she was almost as small as a penny. Needless to say, the name 'Penny' stuck. I don't know what it was exactly, but when she was born, I think I actually saw a bit of myself in her. Her entire family dead, with no one to really depend on. I guess I dared to hope that there was some sign in all that. Like it was meant to be, and it was my one true calling to be the one who'd look after her, and take care of her, and just be all the things Zack was for me. And so, I made the same promise Zack made me, that I'd always be there to protect her, no matter what. But now it's all going to end the same way. I'm going to break my promise to Penny, just like how Zack broke his promise to me."

"Emily," Mark sighed. Emily instantly broke down and cried.

"I hated Zack for a while after he died," she sobbed. "I hated him for breaking his promise. I hated him for abandoning me. But most of all, I hated myself, because I couldn't hate him, even though I wanted to. And I hated myself even more for feeling that way. What if Penny starts hating me, too?"

As Emily continued to cry, one-by-one, Roger, Mimi and Mark all joined her on the bed, all three encasing the photographer in a comforting hug. It was a mutual non-spoken agreement that no words were needed.

AN: Well, how's that for an emotional break down? Hope you liked this chapter. There will be a lot more on Emily's past pretty soon, so get ready for that: I promise there's a point to including her personal history. Until next time...