Half the Story Hidden—Chapter 3 Part b. – The Follies of Youth.
A/N: Thank you for the continuing reviews, including those of you who have read back over my previous DA fan fiction pieces and left some new reviews on those pieces. As always, it is greatly appreciated.
Nathea mentioned that Joubert would more likely be pronounced with a dj sound at the beginning, lest it sounds like a lisp. I appreciate the information and prefer the sound of that. I am sadly monolingual and I am really guessing at all of this french language stuff! Nathea will have to put up with my messing around with Google translate in some areas of future chapters, I am afraid!
Kind regards,
BTF
oOOo
Date:
Early August 1927. The day after the Dowager Countess' funeral and the Carson's rather momentous afternoon beside the Stable-hands Stream.
Occasion:
Mid-Morning teatime and luncheon in Jackdaw's Castle, the rectangular, Corinthian pillared garden folly that looks back over the sweeping lawns towards Downton Abbey.
Attendees:
Mr and Mrs Carson, Lord and Lady Grantham, and Lady Rosamund Painswick.
oOOo
Lady Rosamund slices open the letter and withdraws the wad of finely written papers. It is evident that the Dowager had taken several sittings during her final illness to compose everything she had to say. Her script becomes jangled in places where she must have tired herself out and needed to rest before returning to the lengthy missive later. But as Rosamund reads, what is even more striking is the edging of a certain softness, and even a level of uncertainty, into the tone of one whom they all associated with being stridently unapologetic and, at times, somewhat harsh in her address.
oOOo
Saturday, 22nd May 1927
Dearest Robert, Cora, Rosamund, Carson and Mrs Carson,
I once had recourse to say to that most odious of men, Sir Richard Carlisle, that all of life is a game in which the player must appear ridiculous. He determinedly dismissed the idea as something that would never happen to him; however, I daresay that, given enough years upon this earth, circumstances may well disabuse him of this notion. It saddens me to have to say it, but I must now admit that I, too, have been quite a dubious 'player' in this life. And so, now I must reveal to you all the finer details of my somewhat surprising, oft arduous, and, at times, patently ridiculous life.
It may not prove to be the actual case in its final execution, but I want you all to know that the incremental distribution of the full facts of my life has been designed with the intention that the axe may fall but by degrees. In arranging matters as I have, I pray that the blows will be somewhat softened for you all. Nevertheless, you should prepare yourselves for a few more shocks and the pain that may accompany the further revelations noted herein.
By now, I hope that you have consulted with those closest to you regarding the news about Carson's birth or that you at least will have had the possibility of a reasonable night's sleep after my interment. As such, perhaps you will all be able to sit and discuss the way forward with greater civility. The truth of the matters at hand may even see you rally together in your grief to support one another far better in the long run. Equally, this arranged meeting after my death has the aim that not one of you will ever doubt nor question the veracity of my writing nor any of the claims of the others involved in my affairs when you should speak of these revelations in the future. It is all too easy for false accusations to fly at the undeserving if truths of this magnitude are not laid out entirely upon a shared table. Ultimately, it is my greatest wish that the truths revealed at this late hour should not drive a wedge between any of my family members.
I know that this is much for an old lady to ask for from a single letter and the subsequent instructions you will receive once My Last Will and Testament have been read. These further instructions will come via a secondary series of notes, the contents of which I will entrust the careful handling of to Mrs Elspeth Carson. I have asked my dear Rosamund to handle today's proceedings with a similar focus on her being the best person to manage the job at hand with a calm coolness from which you will all benefit.
And indeed, it is also likely that it is far too much for an old lady to expect any of you to believe me when I propose that good things may grow out of every single one of my former youthful follies and indiscretions. I shall remain optimistic, for I genuinely believe that goodness can still grow from all of this, despite everything that will stun and shock you all about the nature of my background. I believe in this good because I have at least been blessed enough in this lifetime to have seen each of my children, and indeed my three beautiful granddaughters, find true love and happiness in their own lives, even if it has only been held briefly. I, too, have had surprisingly little luck with holding onto such great love for very long. But, it is in this capacity to love one another that I hope—No, I do trust in it (for I have also said before that hope is but a tease designed to prevent us from accepting reality). And so, it is the case that I do trust that each one of you has enough love and goodness in your hearts to support the others in this situation in the best ways that you can.
~~~.
Rosamund exhales and looks up briefly to cast a Dowager-like eagle eye over her compatriots. They all seem to be holding up so far. However, their Mama's mode of address seems oddly roundabout given what they all know of the Grande Dame's manner. Rosamund worries that perhaps all that her mother has written will become more garbled and nonsensical. Rosamund and Cora both saw how Mama became increasingly disoriented in the last months and weeks of her illness. Rosamund inhales lightly again to prepare herself for whatever may be. Softly, she continues.
I know that by the time you have convened to read this letter, you will have trudged through such a mess and excess of emotions as to be deemed most decidedly unbecoming for any members of the British aristocracy. I can only pray now for some forgiveness from each of you for the various hurts I will no doubt continue to inflict upon you after my death. However, I am also far too old and world-weary to expect that forgiveness is my due. But, do know that I am genuinely sorry— to each and every one of you, Cora and Mrs Carson included— for everything you are learning that may hurt you deeply. Please, do not hold onto any bitterness about this, if you possibly can. Instead, hold onto the great love and respect you have already developed for one another — each in your own ways. Above all else, know that my motivations are not selfish. Instead, my actions are designed in the interest that, while Downton still stands, you will all find solace, closeness, and a deeper love for one another as you make your way through the mess of problems I have often wilfully and foolishly designed. Nonetheless, they are problems that I have most diligently tried to remedy, or at least tried to mitigate the effects of, across my surprisingly long lifetime.
oOOo
Rosamund breathes in and out audibly to further prepare for what she knows she must read, less sure by the minute that she is, in fact, the right person for the task. She carries on regardless, as has always been her way, and this makes her wonder that maybe her dear Mama knew this as her daughter's way, and so she trusted that Rosamund could manage the dubious honour of attending to her mother's dying wishes.
"I find that Mama's writing has become quite difficult to read here. But looking at the next page, it appears she stopped for a while and rested," Rosamund adds as an adjunct to the letter.
They all pause to sip their tea. Their eyes are focused inwards, each trying to maintain their equilibrium as Rosamund resolutely continues.
oOOo
It may surprise you to know that it has been my experience that good people try to do their best with what they have been given. And whilst I cannot lay any claim to have been a truly good person, I do flatter myself to think that I have somehow managed, however distantly, to raise three very good people who are doing their own very best with what they have been given. Please continue to do what you have always done, every one of you. I feel more motherly pride and love for each of you, my dearest children, than I ever deserved. This is especially the case whenever I see you all together—even in the unknowing manner that you all have been together across my life. Know that I have truly loved you all, and I have tried to humbly count my blessings that I was even able to see any of you raised through to your most productive and loving adulthoods.
Know also that the final secrets I am to reveal herein are, to the best of my knowledge, not known by anyone else now living. Mrs Elizabeth Carson, her sister, and my own sister remained the very souls of discretion about their parts in this sorry saga, as did Mr Frank Carson, Peters, dear Joubert and of course, your own dear Papa. And so, you may all hold onto these truths now until your last breaths should leave you without fear of exposure and ridicule. I do not wish ruin upon anyone. As such, I would suggest this letter be adequately secured, hidden or burnt as you all see fit once you have all of the facts in your possession, or at least as best as I can provide them after the reading of my Will. All of these revelations could likely bring the whole of Downton crumbling down, and that is not what my dear late husband worked so very, very hard for. He went to a far too early grave for the estate because of it, and last year, when I thought we were to lose you, my Dearest Robert, I feared the estate would make too young a widow of yet another Crawley lady. It was all so much like when your father passed, Robert-dear—uncannily so, despite my dear Patrick's last breath at the dining table having been a somewhat more restrained affair than your own display.
Elsie's eyes widen at this new piece of family history. Carson flinches at both vivid memories, and Rosamund huffs a slight sound of incredulity through her nostrils at her mother's typically calm and withering assessment of such affairs. She also remembers her dear Papa's demise at a dinner attended by Sir Randolph Churchill. Of all people! That I should even recall part of the guest list from that awful day! Cora turns deathly pale at the Dowager's blunt assessment, and she feels desperately pained as the harsh reality of possibly not having Robert by her side is all spelt out in black and white for her again. Robert reaches instinctively for her delicate boned hand upon her lap. Rosamund breathes deeply again and continues warily.
But more than that, it is still my firm belief, as I know it was Patrick's, and yours, dear Robert, and I hope that it is still Carson's belief, too, that the Grantham estate is the very lifeblood of this whole community. Downton's influence stretches well beyond the borders of all of the Crawley holdings, and I pray that it may still survive well into the future, although it will be in a sadly diminished role from her glorious past as the world marches ever onwards. I cannot bear to think that it might all fold in on itself whilst the people I have known across the whole village and county suffer from its demise. Please continue to work together for its survival, all of you— in whatever form that may take.
His Lordship and Carson share a determined and knowing glance. It must prevail. It will.
I want you all to know this truth: I have more love and respect for my dear late husband, Patrick, than perhaps any of you realise. Ours was not a close marriage, in either age nor some of the more traditional senses we may like to ponder when it comes to marriage. Nonetheless, we did love each other in our way. We supported each other through the absolute thick and thin of life as most devoted friends who knew each other's shortcomings, foibles and strengths better than many other husbands and wives ever could do this side of the veil. I know that Patrick's legacy of love, honour, and duty plays a large part in making each of you the people you are today, and he has primarily orchestrated the changed future you are now tasked to live with.
Rosamund's eyes widen a little as she realises the import of the next section of the text and automatically slows her diction for it.
One of the many reasons I have chosen to reveal these truths at this late hour for all of you is due to the contents of my Last Will and Testament. Patrick was integral to its development and careful execution. I want the critical aspects of that document to be outlined to you all in advance within this letter. Murray knows all of the terms but none of the truth of my reasoning for setting it all out as I have done. Specific bequests and small mementoes I have reserved for my goddaughter, Susan, and Hugh MacClare, and dearest Rose and Atticus, as well as Young Tom, and of course, Cousin Isobel, who has nursed me so diligently through much more than this particular malingering illnesses as I have aged. Cora, I am sure you will understand what I mean when I say that Cousin Isobel is strangely, and most sadly, a woman attuned to the grief of my own heart. She has been kind to me, and I can now freely admit that I have enjoyed my sparring friendship with her.
But I digress from the more significant matter at hand. Suffice to say, the small provisions that I have set out in my will for my dearest grandchildren and great-grandchildren will likely garner no reason for complaint from any quarter, and I know that they can safely be attended to by Murray at the reading of my Will. I have attached the proviso that no family member present needs to feel they should divulge the nature of the contents of my small letters and bequests to the rest of the family unless they feel happy to do so. I suggest that one or more at this table today may like to partake of that directive at the reading of his will. This is because I do not doubt that, for the five of you, the inherent reasoning behind many of the choices of the legacies I have made may still raise a few of your eyebrows once you piece it together with the revelations I am still to make within this letter, but also when other truths that will come to light after the terms of my dubious legacy are fully executed under the able direction of Mrs Carson.
Elsie looks towards Charles with some concern, searching for something from him…Clarity?...Reassurance? She cannot fathom what on earth the Old Bat has tasked her with now. Is it not enough that I must hold your son up right now, Lady Grantham?
All Charles can do is take a deep, sharp breath and release it so that she can read it as a shrug of complete ignorance about it all— and a cold comfort for them both.
I want all of you to know of the critical elements of my will beforehand and in the privacy of the estate grounds so that none of you is shocked by its contents whilst you are all painfully ensconced in a room in the presence of a solicitor and several family members, some of whom you may not even like. I will not have the likes of my niece and goddaughter trying to contest how I have chosen to distribute the remains of my estate to my various loved ones. There is little enough put aside as it is, as I know that you are aware, Robert. However, as the Earl of Grantham, you may still need to stand and defend my choices in the face of any dissenters. Indeed, the most significant part of my fortune, I fear, must be allocated via the form of what is known as 'A Half-Secret Trust'*. Somewhat fitting, I know! For simplicity's sake, this final bequest of mine will be stated at the reading of the will as follows: "I leave the remainder of my estate in property, investments and funds to Robert Patrick Crawley to act as trustee for the purposes that I have already communicated to him." This allows the true recipients of the trust to remain anonymous to all but the five of you present today in the folly. The way that my Monies will be allocated does require some elucidation. But, in short, know my estate will not be distributed evenly, but it will be allocated in the most equitable manner I can fashion. However, I fear I am tiring for now. Please forgive me; I had aimed to finish this section in one sitting. I will return to this matter soon.
VC
oOOo
The five grief-buffeted table mates pause again and share, to varying degrees, looks of confusion, consternation, reassurance and dutiful support for one another. When Rosamund sees that everyone is settled into some version of equilibrium, she continues with the missive entrusted to her.
My dear ones,
It has been my sad experience that it can be the case that when desperate circumstances occur, families can be torn asunder over such matters as we scrabble to save what we believe is ours to have. However, Robert and Rosamund, I know you both to be unselfish about issues of money, and I rely upon your admirable notions of fairness to ensure that this will not occur now or at any other time in the future between the five of you. I do not want what little I have left to give in this life to become the sorry means that may tear away the gift of actually having loving and supportive siblings, which I am trying so belatedly to give to you all. To that end, Robert and Rosamund, I am sure that you will agree with me when I state that, over the years, you have lived handsomely with all of the riches that the Downton Estate can provide. And indeed, each of you has benefited in the past, and even to this day, from the monies that your spouses have brought into your marriages. Robert, I know that the estate is now in better standing than it has been since the war, and whilst perhaps not as secure as it was when you first married Dear Cora, I do know from Mary's and your own regular reports that it is beginning to truly thrive again, and mainly through your agricultural endeavours, which I know would please your dear departed father greatly. And Rosamund, despite my reticence about your wish to marry him in the first place, Marmaduke always provided for you most handsomely. I understand that your position is unlikely to falter now or in the future because of his very wise investments**. However, Carson and Mrs Carson, for their many years of dedication and hard work for the estate, have merely received their living wage and board in all this time. I trust that all of you will agree that he who has the greatest need to gain parity with the other siblings should now receive the more significant portion of my cash monies and investments. As such, the bulk of any funds left after the settling of my affairs will go, in the form of an anonymous trustee account, to Charles Ernest Carson— for him to finally live, along with his wife, in as comfortable a manner as he always should have done as the accepted firstborn son of The Count and Countess of Grantham.
Charles, if it ever could have been possible for me to acknowledge you as such publicly, you would have benefited from every advantage that such a position in life would have afforded you. Although money is such a poor substitute for the deceptive lot in life that you have had to live due to my youthful mistakes, I hope that you will receive what gifts I have left to give you with your usual dignity and grace and that you will, at least in time, see the true intent behind my wanting you to have them.
If it should become absolutely necessary for the truth of my indiscretions to be revealed for any reason (and preferably with the agreement from all five parties present at this meeting on the day after my final internment), may this section of this document support the aims of my Last Will and Testament with the same gravitas as that official and legally binding document itself, and in much the same manner as dear Matthew's final words to Mary managed to provide for her future at Downton.
I ask that all of you accept and respect this provision in my will as being made when I was of complete and sound mind and that it remains my abiding dying wish that any of the remains of my estate be administered in this manner and solely to the personage of Charles Ernest Carson.
I hereby declare that this document contains the final and abiding decree of the Dowager Countess of the 6th Earl of Grantham.
Lady Violet Crawley.
oOOo
Each table mate stares incredulously at the others, and there is a collective sharp release of the breath they had held when the crux of the Dowager's intentions had been revealed. Robert looks to Rosamund and quickly nods his acquiescence to and clear support of his dear Mama's wishes in the full terms of the will— he well knows the figures. The siblings continue to speak via eye contact alone, as they were always adept at doing from the silent dinner tables of their youth when mischief and conversations of import between them would require it. Rosamund shows him her equally ready acceptance of the terms and even quirks a small wry smile for their Mama. She wasn't always such a hard old battle-axe, after all, was she?
Not at all, Robert replies, his eyes glassing over for the hundredth time this week as he thinks clearly about all that they have lost. And Carson deserves it all.
I know, Robert-dear.
Elsie finally lifts her slightly gaping jaw shut when she realises that Charles has stiffened and appears not to have taken a breath in the last half minute or so. She silently slides her hand to his knee and squeezes at it again. But unfortunately, it lands on one of the major bruises he acquired yesterday on the gravel bank of the stream. The sharp pain causes Charles to suck in a sharp and heavy breath between his teeth as he suddenly revives back to the here and now. Seeing it all, Cora, as ever, smooths the way ahead.
"Well, for a change, I cannot agree more with Mama. Dear Carson, you are indeed deserving of whatever has been left to you in the will, and I do not think anyone at this table would or possibly could argue with Mama's final wishes."
"Agreed," Robert and Rosamund state in unison and with great surety.
Incredulous, Charles and Elsie both release a long whistling sigh of disbelief and decide to focus only on their ongoing capacity to breathe.
"Shall I continue, Mr and Mrs Carson?" Rosamund asks.
The two merely nod in a dazed fashion.
oOOo
Author Notes:
* According to The Wills Act 1837 (UK), Fully secret trusts arise where a Will contains an absolute gift to a beneficiary but, outside the Will, the testator has asked him/her to hold the legacy on trust for someone else, and the Will beneficiary has agreed. In this scenario, the terms of the trust and the trustee's agreement must be communicated before the testator's death. Fully secret trusts are much harder for a secret beneficiary to contest in their favour as their evidence of any rights to the trust may be lacking. With a half-secret trust, the Will contains a gift to be held in trust, but the identity of the secret beneficiary is kept out of the Will and is communicated to the secret trustee before or at the time of the execution of the Will. The testator also communicates to the secret trustee the terms of the intended trust (orally or in a secret envelope), and this obligation must be accepted.
This latter form of a half-secret trust serves the Dowager the best in these circumstances, as she was able to keep her secrets until after her death, and the nature of today's letter, and any other instructions Murray may hand on to Robert (the secret trustee), via secret envelopes at the reading of the will, actually render Robert legally obliged to administer the trust to Carson (the secret beneficiary), just as the Dowager requests. So, as much as she politely requests that Rosamund and Robert agree to the terms of her will, Carson is in a pretty solid position, even if Robert should try to refute the terms of the half-secret trust.
** It's 1927, we can only hope that Rosamund will not lose too much of her fortune in the 1929 stock market crashes (and Robert and the Levinson's too, for that matter).
Regards,
BTF