For Your Own Good

Disclaimers: If I owned Full Metal Alchemist you can bet Hughes wouldn't have died. XP So no, I don't own it.

I am so sorry for taking so long when writing this chapter. I blame nanowrimo and college. Hopefully it won't take so long for the next chapter.

Okay enough of my yammering and excuses. I'm sure you are all tired of it anyway.

LAST TIME ON FYOG
He wouldn't make it in time.
It was then that Hawkeye felt the raindrops slipping down her face.
"Don't," Mustang said simply.
Scar held the child with no effort, red coat in shreds a few feet off, blood falling off the boy's body like red rain.
"If we wait much longer, Full Metal will die," said the criminal calmly.
He's going to kill Edward…
How did the situation get here?
Hawkeye rose her gun and fired.
What I am in now… is the end.
"Don't die, Edward."
He was trapped in his box again.
Deep painful scars- carved in pattern all down Edward's back.
"It's… an alchemic circle," said Edward at long last.
Dark fingers slid over his eyes, forcing them closed.

Chapter Six: Bow Out Gracefully

"Every exit is an entry somewhere."
-Tom Stoppard

When she pulled back on the small piece of plastic, pulling the trigger, a blast went off in her head. Or perhaps it wasn't in her head… somewhere beyond- louder than the screams of hell, sucking her into their hungry claws. The tremors laced up her body through her veins like some sickening virus and stealing the very breath from her lungs. Like an almighty hand had clasped itself around her chest and squeezed and squeezed- thrusting her into the end of all things.

There was a shout of her name somewhere- echoing and reverberating its way through her skull. Her very bones shuttered and crumbled. She felt a gust of something rush and press into the back of her body, flinging her into the air quickly but yet lasting forever.

So now it's over. At last. Finally. As final as death. Suspended in the air, she knew she had only seconds to know who she was. Consciousness slipped completely out between her fingertips like a restless dove- showering her with messy feathers and the finality of the drop.

Hawkeye hit the pavement- knocking herself instantly senseless with a blow to the base of her skull.

What luck. She was supposed to save the colonel not become a victim herself. Her last thought as the inking blankness showered over her mind, was a berating one.

How stupid of me. I tripped.

The sunlight poured across the white choked room lighting it like a match to a flame. Hawkeye's eyes fluttered open, coming face to face with the curious smile of a young bandaged youth.

"Morning, Lieutenant," came Ed's cheery voice to her ears.

The young woman sat up with a start looking around the hospital room and then blushing deeply.

"Ah. My deepest apologies, Full Metal. I didn't intend to fall asleep."

Edward just waved the apology away with a whisk of his hand. His face seemed much brighter today than it had been the night before as he weighed his worth through nightmarish sleep. It was as if the sun had completely masked his constant sore.

Hawkeye was both impressed and completely dishearten at the sight. He was much too young to sacrifice his heart in front of others.

"I'm surprised with how many people keep visiting me actually," Edward sent her that smile again.

The sunlight caught his golden eyes in the warm light and for a second Hawkeye saw a different person. She swallowed her nostalgic inquiries and let out a low sigh, "Well, worry does that… I suppose."

Edward looked to her again, his eyes flashing with a sight sign of scrutiny. It was almost as if he had sensed her sympathetic gaze burning into his back. There were deep painful scars there, beneath the guise of bandages, cut with agonizingly keen precision. They were painful to even imagine.

Ed could see, by just the look in her eyes, she had seen the wounds in their prime. And in spite of his disgust, he merely lowered his gaze to the floor in abashment.

"Have you happened to find Al yet?" Ed said hastily trying to pull the subject off of himself.

Hawkeye smiled softly and shook her head, "No. But someone reported seeing him on the south side of Central. We sent Hughes out to retrieve him."

"Is he al-alright?" Ed asked.

It seemed there was a hint of irony in the way he worded his question as if there was no possible way such a person could ever be alright.

"I didn't hear of any injuries… course he is… a suit of armor so… it's hard to determine…" She faltered off noticing the answer was bothering him. Edward's fist was clung tightly around the bed sheets, rippling their seamless white sea of fabric.

"Full Metal…" Riza began. His head was turned away so Hawkeye wasn't sure she exactly had his attention at all. Deciding to be daring, she reached out and touched his hand.

Edward's fingers flexed and tried to shrink away. She merely caught it before it rushed back into the shelter beyond her reach and slipped the envelope out of her pockets.

"Edward," She said softly pushing the letter between his fingertips. "This is from the Colonel."

Edward looked at the letter listlessly, his hand somewhat trembling within her grasp. His sad golden eyes seemed to burn a sort of guilt into the surface of her hand- making her release him at last. Hawkeye made a sort of apologetic notation with a bow, and quickly excused herself. She paused by the door, looking on as Edward weaved his fingers underneath the seal of the envelope. The guilt rose like bile once more in her throat. The reason she was here was very clear to her. She had heard the colonel say so himself.

"I trust you to not kill a civilian."

Hawkeye wrapped her fingers about the door knob-twisted it away from her, and pushed the door open, unable to look at Edward as he pulled the thick yellow parchment out of the envelope.

"You'd discharge Full Metal… to save his life?"

Riza closed the door quietly behind her, just as Edward's eyes fell upon the words. She hesitated for a moment, almost as she wanted to take back what she had done. And the Colonel's words just continued to echo- continued to haunt her.

"If it will save his life…"

There was a echoing silence beyond the door. The sound of a world shattering at the military's laced boots.

Hawkeye pressed her hand over her heart, fighting back an uncharacteristic welling of tears in her eyes.

"Colonel…" She whispered to herself, her head bowed and voice horse with a terrible burden. "…Mustang. You- You just killed Edward yourself."

She couldn't help the stray tear that trespassed down her cheek as she walked away. The sound of destruction followed her wake. And she merely walked faster- past the nurses rushing towards the sound of Edward's anger.

"You just broke his resolve."

"Yes, Edward Elric's room," Hughes muttered impatiently to the front desk nurse. She was being aggravatingly slow. Just because they had an over abundance of people checked into the hospital recently didn't really excuse her poor ability to respond to questions.

The woman flipped lazily through the files, and yet another time she asked again, "Who is it that you are looking for?"

Hughes' face was growing red. He normally had excellent patients and a good sense of humor too. But today, Hughes was just not in the mood.

Alphonse's hand on his shoulder was the only thing that held him back from shouting. The boy seemed to sense the man's frustration just as well as he was able to sense his brother's. And Hughes stood down.

"Edward Elric," said Alphonse gently.

His echoing voice caused the nurse to raise her head. Her light brown eyes rested upon the soulless sockets of the suit of armor- curiously searching the metal face for some source of human features.

And without even batting a eyelash, the woman protruded a file from the drawer- and almost as if she had intended it from the start, she smiled.

"Room Three Two Three."

"Arigatou," Alphonse said with a deep bow. Hughes followed suit a bit more roughly and definitely not with the same sincerity.

They took down the hall. Alphonse had just opened the door to the stairwell, when Hughes hesitated.

"Do you think you should be taking that in here?" he asked softly.

And Alphonse turned, his hand resting uncomfortably over his chest plate. A muffled sound echoed from inside the hallows of his soul encrusted armor. It was a truly pitiful sound. Hughes couldn't bring himself to continue his train of thought.

"Never mind," Hughes muttered. "We will just leave quickly."

If Alphonse could smile, he probably would have. At least Hughes liked to imagine the boy smiling. Or rather, a boy smiling. Not having know the child when he wasn't a suit of armor left one merely speculating such things.

They climbed three flights of stairs until at last happening upon the floor they wanted. Alphonse found the door first, and eagerly knocked.

"Brother," Alphonse said. And just as Hughes reached his side, the suit of armor pushed the door open.

But the room was completely empty.

Hughes scanned the room with his eyes, noticing the damage to the dresser, window, and various other furniture pieces in the room. It was as if there had been some sort of struggle in here.

Alphonse had only eyes for Ed's red jacket laid forgotten and discarded on the crumbled and tangled mess of sheets on the hospital cot. He wandered over and pulled it out into his arms gently. And yet it was still warm.

"Are you here for Edward-kun?"

Both Alphonse and Hughes turned to face a young nurse standing in the door way. She looked a bit unsettled by Alphonse's appearance so he removed his gaze. He was used to making people nervous.

"Yes, we are," said Hughes. "Do you know where he is now?"

"Well, he left," She shrugged, shuffling her feet somewhat awkwardly. "He was upset over something or another. And… we lost him."

"You lost him?" Hughes repeated dully.

"It's alright," Alphonse nodded to the girl. "Thank you for letting us know. We'll find him."

The girl made a bow of sorts and took leave of the room quickly. Obviously the sound of Alphonse's echoing voice was enough for her to leave. Yet again, he caused a child to fear him. It was getting rather wearisome for his heart.

"You really think we can find him? Central's huge. He could have gone anywhere," Hughes muttered pessimistically, while peeking thought the blinds at the gloomy gray sky.

"I already have an idea of where he is."

And Hughes turned, noticing the torn pieces of the letter in Alphonse's hand. The military seal was stamped on the scraps left of the envelope.

"Ah," Hughes sighed. "Of course."


Roy supposed he really should have suspected Edward's entrance even though technically the boy wasn't supposed to be released from the hospital until later that week. Edward wasn't usually one to take bad news sitting down. Mustang was like that too- in a much calmer light. Granted he didn't break into a superior officer's office just to complain.

Roy turned around in his swivel chair as the noisy production burst through his office door. Edward was fighting both Havoc and Falman each who had taken his arms in the struggle. His face was red with rage and Mustang knew full well why.

Mustang had to look away though, shamefully. The boy was merely wearing just his dark shirt and pants exposing the bandages as they stretched down his good arm like a woven snake. Mustang knew those scars full well too. And his sympathy merely drove Edward's anger deeper.

"Dammit. Mustang, you bastard!" Edward shouted fighting against the men on either side of him.

And the colonel merely rose his hand, signaling the release of the angry boy. The men hesitated but complied at last. Edward glared at the solders as if daring them to try and hold him back again.

Havoc, true to his nature, pulled out a cigarette and lit it. They both stood at either side of Edward in the preparation of grabbing hold of him again- least he do something else stupid.

"What the hell is this?" Edward spat, flinging a wadded envelope at the Colonel's head.

It bounced harmlessly off Mustang's forehead and into his lap. The colonel didn't even flinch. He merely pushed the paper off his lap and left it discarded on the floor. Havoc and Falman's eyes were watching the paper suspiciously- both probably having no idea why Edward and the Colonel were fighting but were both smart enough not to ask any questions.

"It seems like a letter, Full Metal," Roy answered calmly drawing the two other officers' attentions again.

"Don't give me that shit. I know it's a letter," Edward snarled. "It's a letter of suspension!"

And although both Havoc and Falman were trained to hide their emotion they were unable to keep their eyes from widening. Havoc let slip his cigarette and it fell soundless to the floor. Luckily the Major Sergeant was not stupefied enough to forget to stomp the small flame out.

"Yes it is, isn't it?" Roy sighed shifting in his seat. He wasn't quite sure why he was so uncomfortable all of the sudden. He was the authoritative figure, wasn't he?

"Why the hell are you suspending me!" Edward demanded slamming his palms on the desk. They clapped the smooth surface leaving a slight ringing in the air. Typically Roy would have dismissed such a person from his sights immediately for even daring to approach his desk without permission. But Edward was a state alchemist. The military was used to their oddball ways. Roy Mustang was never phased by Edward's anger- not even today.

"I would have thought it to be obvious."

"And why would you think that?" insisted Edward.

"You disobeyed me," Mustang said almost offhandedly.

Edward made a sort of huffing noise in the back of his throat as if he couldn't quite believe what the Colonel had said. Or rather he found in a highly unbelievable excuse.

And Havoc couldn't help himself. He rubbed his toe of his shoe into the butt of his cigarette and then said, "Permission to speak, Colonel?"

"Permission granted," Roy nodded.

Havoc relaxed a bit more and muttered, "With all respects Colonel, but since when has Full Metal ever not disobeyed you?"

"It does seem a bit extreme," added Falman who immediately shot back to attention when he realized he spoke out of turn.

Roy didn't seem to notice though. He merely turned to Edward's smug grin and said quite plainly.

"I gave an order and disobeying it nearly cost some of my men's lives," Roy said in a much sterner tone. "Full Metal here not only jeopardized the lives of those men in the units whom he was ordered to help vacate- but also the lives of Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye and myself."

Edward felt his heart plummet somewhere into the acidic depths of his stomach. Course he felt guilty for not following through with the orders that Mustang had given. But it was for a reason, was it not? Had he not found the lives of those children important?

And then Edward found his mind hitting a brick wall. Gritting his teeth and fighting back the welling doubt that was rising all the more in his hear,t he tried desperately to remember… did he save those two or not? Did they all make it out of that house? He couldn't remember anything after they dropped. It was as if his mind just couldn't see through the smoke of the flames. The flaming fingers gripped the arms and legs of the memories and dragged them beneath discernable depths.

It was then, when Edward was lost beneath the smolders of his last moments of consciousness, that Roy gripped the boy's shoulders. Edward's golden eyes looked up into his superior's eyes. And there he saw something he could not interpret. He didn't like the look, nonetheless.

"You also endangered your own life, Full Metal," Mustang said in a strange voice.

And Edward didn't quite know what to say to that. He merely bit down on his lip and clutched his automail arm. It was tingling with a slight amount of pain. And why was that? Edward wasn't sure why.

"I won't do it again," Edward grumbled, his head bowed and good arm over his automail. "Please. Give me another chance… to make things right."

Mustang drew away. "No," he said simply.

"I promise. Please, just let me," Edward said, his face darkening as he clutched his pained metal appendage.

Mustang did not respond. He turned his back the boy- his dark eyes watching the sun blaze lightly in the afternoon sky. How quickly time had passed them by.

"Colonel!" Edward snapped grabbing the man's sleeve as he turned still further away from the boy.

Mustang should have had the boy sent away at that very moment. But the sincere look in Edward's eyes was disheartening. He was on the verge of tears- practically pleading for another chance.

"Don't make me beg," Edward hissed so softly that Mustang could barely discern the words himself. The sentence washed over the Colonel like a hissing wind.

"You can't. You aren't strong enough," Mustang said, plucking the boy's hand from his arm.

And as he turned away, Edward's face went red.

"I'm not weak!" Edward shouted, clenching his fists and shaking his head so that the tears fell- crystalline on the floor. "I can still do alchemy!"

"You are sealed up, boy," Roy said harshly not even turning to look at Edward. "I wanted to avoid telling you this."

He turned back towards the young alchemist so that his eyes met the boy's own. Edward looked absolutely terrified of the truth.

"Someone, crudely, managed to carve a circle on your back. It restricts the energy flow that fuels alchemy transmutations. You have been corked, Full Metal. And there is no reversal for such a cork," Mustang explained without even breaking eye contact. "No opener. No pop. You have completely and utterly run dry."

The truth was bitter and biting but it felt, oh so good telling the boy at last- the truth.

Edward was positively trembling as he clenched and unclenched his fake and real hands helplessly. He blinked once and then twice before forcefully biting back his fear.

"I can still do alchemy!" Edward declared loudly as if hoping it to be true more so than actually believing it.

"You cannot," Roy Mustang snapped back. He felt quite childish- stooping to the antics of a young boy but his frustration was hard to hold in any longer.

The clap sounded through the room before Roy could react in any way. Edward transmuted, with a loud static flash of light, the lopsided and burnt couch into a perfectly new version of itself.

Mustang looked on in amazement- as did both Havoc and Falman. Roy looked to the boy, his jaw slightly hanging open- but only slightly.

"I told you," Edward snapped, sweat beading noticeably on his forehead. "I can still do alchemy."

Edward wasn't able to relish in his triumph very long though. Soon afterward, the blonde buckled over, coughing violently.

Shuddering and hacking, Edward crumpled. He was drenched with sweat, and the hands he used to cover his mouth as he coughed were soaked in blood. His blood.

Havoc moved forward but Falman held him back. There were shouts for a medic, echoing around the chaos of the office as the boy fell broken and bleeding to the floor.

Edward merely stared at the liquid's crimson color as it slipped through his fingertips. He was much too tired to really understand what he was seeing. Sweat dripped down his eyes as they fluttered feebly in attempts to focus.

"You fool!"

Roy grabbed the boy by his collar, easily hosting him to his feet. Edward merely dangled there, clutching Mustang's hands weakly. He was as flaccid as a rag doll, dangling as if he was hung by a noose.

"Didn't you hear a single word I said!" Roy yelled angrily giving the boy a few futile shakes that proved in vain. "You're corked. If you try to force it, your body takes the toll. Are you trying to kill yourself?"

Edward found no words to respond. He looked sullenly to the hands that gripped his collar as they were slowly soiled red by his blood.

Roy saw this as well. And in a mixture of repulse and fear, he released Edward.

Luckily strength returned to the young boy's legs as soon as he did so. And without looking to Mustang, he pulled the silver chain from his belt loop and held it up in front of him. The blood snaked down the silver links quietly as Edward hung it there from his fist, lifeless. And then Ed let it go.

The chain fell and softly crashed into the floor looking as useless as ever without the pocket watch it protected. It coiled there, giving off a small spray of tiny blood specks as it stuck the wood floor. Useless, bleeding, and dying of its once simple purpose.

Edward teetered slightly on the spot before turning away as if nothing had occurred at all.

When the medics arrived, he walked past them without even a second glance. He didn't listen to the calls to his back trying to bring him back. Not even the threatening ones from Colonel Mustang.

"I'm going home," Edward muttered softly at the exit to no one particular. And looking far more sickly and pale than he went in as, Edward left. Silence entered at his exit. It was bitter and colder than Mustang had ever remembered it being.

"Sir?" Falman began just as Havoc lit another cigarette. "May I ask… who did that to Full Metal?"

And Roy turned away, rubbing the dry flakes of blood between his fingers. "No, you may not."


Hughes was surprised that as soon as they made it to the steps of the main military units that Edward was sitting right there in plain sight. The search ended so soon that Hughes was almost disappointed.

He was just about to call to him when Alphonse ran past him, leaving the man somewhat ousted. Alphonse rushed forward, his metal body clankingly nosily as he climbed the stairs to his brother's side.

"Brother!" Al said cheerfully holding out Edward's jacket before him. "Look, I found this…"

But Edward did not look up. He merely pulled his knees tighter to his chest, his arms trembling slightly.

"Brother?" Alphonse began coming closer.

And as he did so, Edward's automail arm moved, and took hold of Alphonse's opposite hand. Almost effortlessly the boy pulled his armored brother down to his knees.

Slowly, Edward turned his head to his brother. And Alphonse had to think his older brother did not look very well at all. He was rather pale and looked so incredibly tired. Perhaps Ed had left the hospital far too soon.

"You have a cat," said Edward inanely, staring at his brother's chest plate.

If Alphonse could have blushed, he would have. "I saved it from the fire, Brother."

"Hm," Edward smiled weakly. "So is that where you ran off to."

As Hughes finally climbed to the brother's side he was startled to find Edward beginning to cry. He pushed his face into his knees again to try and hide them, but his shuddering shoulders were enough to know.

"Edward?" Hughes asked urgently rushing to the boy's side.

Edward cried, his voice muffled from coherency as he crumbled into himself.

Alphonse merely rubbed his brother's back, in perfect understanding. He looked to Hughes and the man understood as well.

Nothing hurt worse than feeling useless.

To Be Continued…
Please R + R!

Yeah really made up the whole concept of the seal. I'm not quite sure that alchemy can technically even be sealed but it was an interesting idea so I decided to just go with it.

Everyone who is keeping track of my Naruto stories should keep their eyes peeled for a new story I'm planning called Renegade. I will be a mostly Sakura and Naruto romance with angst, mystery, and action thrown into the mix. Just FYI for those that want to know.

Anyway, I hope every had a good holiday. Happy Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Winter Celestas, and all that. Consider this my xmas present to you all. Thanks for all the reviews and support.

Thanks to all that reviewed last chapter. Those that reviewed last chapter were naturolover700, NinjaAlchemist, star, Kurai Eymru, Nozomi and Hotaru, Itaru-sama, DaisyAnimeluvr, Hiakaru, AnAngel'sWings, Valerie W., Death Past Words, triggerhappy, Crysania Fay, and NekoRaven.

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