For Your Own Good

Disclaimers: If I owned Full Metal Alchemist you can bet Hughes wouldn't have died. XP So no, I don't own it.

Random observation- there are more RoyEd fanfics than is healthy on this site. I feel weird writing one that doesn't happen to be a pairing. Like I'm original or something. Writing a something like this shouldn't be original. :insert growl: Come on people. Use your imaginations and write something different. Even if it is RoyEd- could you please come up with something new beside all these kind of pointless romances?

Anyone got a good FMA story they can recommend to me?

Anyway have no excuses any of you want to listen to. So onward we go.

LAST TIME ON FYOG
"I'm surprised with how many people keep visiting me actually."
"Edward," She said softly pushing the letter between his fingertips. "This is from the Colonel."
"What the hell is this?" Edward spat, flinging a wadded envelope at the Colonel's head.
"It seems like a letter, Full Metal."
"It's a letter of suspension!"
"Please. Give me another chance… to make things right."
Mustang did not respond.
"I can still do alchemy!"
Edward wasn't able to relish in his triumph very long though.
Shuddering and hacking, Edward crumpled.
"You fool!"
Useless, bleeding, and dying of its once simple purpose.
"I'm going home," Edward muttered softly at the exit to no one particular.
Nothing hurt worse than feeling useless.


Chapter Seven: Object of Scorn

All I ever wanted
Is to feel I had a purpose.But now it's all gone…
-Salvia

He wrapped his fingers around the fountain pen on his desk still feeling the blood stain eating, as if it could still be there- like a burn of sorts, through his flesh. And he of all people would know what burns felt like.

Sighing deeply, Roy Mustang tapped the desk with the pen's end. The quiet rapping seemed to settle the nerves that had failed to settle for quite some time now. What now, he kept asking himself. What to do at this time?

It was as if something were sitting on his chest- in his chest- starting a roaring campfire for their own amusements. Gradually the smoke was choking him, stinging his eyes, and burning a great big hole through flesh and bone. It was an unsettling feeling- the anxious kind. One that made you twitch uncontrollably with anticipation for something you weren't even sure would come.

Mustang almost didn't notice Hawkeye when she walked into his silent office, bearing a clipboard and a grim expression- as always. She stopped at the side of his desk in rapt attention- salute and everything in place.

"Yes," Roy asked, looking up almost as if he were irritated that she had interrupted his boredom. "At ease."

He set down his fountain pen- knowing all too well how little quirks like that had a tendency to cause the lieutenant to reach for her pistol.

After dropping her straight salute, Hawkeye skipped all other pleasantries and went right to business. She spat out stats of the casualties and cost damages that had increased from their limited knowledge the days before. There was still quite a long list of missing- citizens and soldiers alike. It seemed the riot would be one for the yearbooks.

Hawkeye finished her report with a informal sigh that was quite unlike her. Mustang rose his eyebrows with inquiry- his way of asking without actually speaking. They often exchanged visual signals like this. They knew each other far too well not to.

"Have you heard from Fu- Edward or his brother lately?" She tried to look unconcerned, but yet she was fidgeting.

Roy shrugged and cast his gaze out the nearby window. "They haven't gone home yet, if that's what you mean to ask."

Hawkeye lowered her eyes- as if that had been exactly what she meant. She added nothing more to the inquiry- letting the silence hang heavily in the air. Roy was quite relieved with the ringing of his telephone indicated welcomed interruption. He nodded to Hawkeye who was allowed leave of the room. There was no reason for her to not comply.

Roy didn't need to ask who it was. Only one person had been calling him this frequently. He picked up the phone, ceasing its obnoxious trilling as soon as Hawkeye closed the office door in her wake.

"Hughes?" Roy answered somewhat dully without any of his usual sternness. "I told you to stop calling my private line for your own conveniences."

It was a standard greeting. He really didn't care which line Hughes called on. Mustang just had a reputation to hold. He had to at least state he disproved. It was standard procedure.

"Ah, but your girlfriends give priority over me?" Hughes whined back.

"They get permission first," Mustang replied, a quiet smile slipping across his lips. Mustang knew there must be a smile on the other man's lips too, even though his voice remained in a whine.

Hughes huffed from the other side of the telephone, sending static through the line. "Fine, be that way. I was just calling to tell you how the boys were but if you are going to be mean…"

"Alright, alright," Roy sighed, careful to keep the amusement from sinking into his voice. "I'm sorry, Maes."

He knew that Hughes would tell him about the Elric brothers even if he didn't apologize. Hughes was terrible at keeping information to himself. Especially if he felt a person needed to know it. But Roy always liked to stay on good terms with Hughes- at least usually. He was good friend to have in bad times.

"How are they?" Mustang continued. He tried not to sound concerned. But even Hughes could read it in his voice. It was too powerful an emotion- the guilt ran like bile through his words.

"Fine," came Hughes quiet reply. It seemed he wanted to add more. As fine as they'd ever be in their situation, perhaps? Maybe something more berating than those lines. Mustang knew his friend did not approve his recent actions. Roy wasn't even sure if he, himself, approved either.

"Alphonse managed to convince Edward to stay in the hospital a week more," Hughes went on, as if there had been no awkward tension at all. He was quite good at acting as if nothing was wrong. Hughes had practice- with once being in Mustang's constant shadow. "Now Edward's practically back to his old strength."

Both Mustang and Hughes knew that this statement was an exaggeration. They both knew the boy was severely crippled- where alchemy was concerned, he was quite unhealthy. Unhealthy enough to be denied his state alchemist position. In human standards, he simply had an unwanted tattoo. It would take quite some more convincing before the boy would accept returning to the human standards.

"Good old Al," Mustang said softly, quite unable to think of anything else to say. He plucked the fountain pin off his desk again, clicking the cap off and on- waiting impatiently for the reply he knew must be on its way.

"Edward called Winry," said Hughes.

"Winry?"

"His blonde girlfriend."

"Ah, gotcha," Mustang accidentally snapped the cap off- sending it tumbling across his desk. He was too lazy to retrieve it.

"They'll be leaving tomorrow," came Hughes' bodiless voice from the receiver. Mustang couldn't tell from his voice how he felt about it. He wasn't sure he wanted to. One less guilt to add, really. "On the first train to Resembool."

"Good," said Roy. And he meant it.

There was nothing more to say after that. They exchanged a few more minutes of humorless dialogue before finally giving goodbyes. For once in a long time, Mustang hadn't hung up on Hughes. And Hughes never dropped a single line about his daughter.

It really were as if the world had flipped upside down.

Moving, with sudden decision, Mustang went to retrieve the pen cap that escaped him. He hesitated when he found it resting near the bloody nest of that chain that Edward had so kindly left on his floor those days before. He hadn't even bothered to move it- even after all this time.

Roy stared at the chain nonchantly for a moment more before snatching up the cap and walking away. It remained, just as stoic as ever, standing out boldly against his red carpet.

It wasn't that he wouldn't pick up the chain- it was that he couldn't. He couldn't accept that Edward was no longer going to push angrily through those doors to gripe about some other duty he had to fulfill. That he would never again sit on the couch, with that fixated scowl. Never again be able to pass snide comment his way when he thought that Mustang wasn't paying attention. Never again smile triumphantly when he relayed of his latest fouling of evil schemes outside the military. Never again share excited news of his latest clues on the philosopher stone's whereabouts.

Caught up in the memories, Mustang almost felt like punching himself out. Asking what the hell had he been thinking- what the hell had he thought he was protecting? Mustang saw that smile and those excited eyes inside his head- stuck there no matter how hard he tried to push them out. Those were the eyes of someone who'd rather die than give up.

And he had forced the boy to give up.

Mustang stood before his chair, hands flat on the desk as he tried at all possible to not let his eyes fall back on the chain- snaked on his floor, poised in a deadly strike against his fragile confidences.

But there was no taking it back now.

The Fullmetal Alchemist was as good as gone.

Edward ran his bare hand down the side of a bright red apple he plucked serendipity out of nearby fruit cart. It gleamed so brightly that Edward was too afraid to puncture its surface- its calm and beautiful world. Alphonse didn't realize his dilemma at all.

"Wow, it looks like you picked a delicious one, brother," said Al encouragingly.

Edward couldn't hide the wry smile that slipped a chuckle out of his mouth. It was ironic for one who hadn't eaten something in the last several years to refer to something as delicious.

Staring at the apple, Edward then realize he didn't even know if Alphonse even retained an appetite anymore. Obviously he could not eat- but did that mean he also had no urge to?

Sighing heavily, Edward paid the man steering the cart for the apple. He had been giving them questioning looks the whole time they stood there. Edward had to admit- they did look quite a deal stranger than they usually did. Edward, as he was, with bandages wrapped down his good arm and gleaming automail out for others to peer at. With his old clothes ripped to shreds, Edward had to rely on what he could afford at the nearby tailor. They were typical clothes of a typical citizen. White short sleeved button down shirt and dark pants- nothing too spectacular.

Edward had to use Alphonse as a crutch, refusing wheelchairs when they were offered to him. His legs were still unsteady- even if could stand on his own, there was a good chance he could find himself face down in the dirt rather quickly.

The alchemist stared absentmindedly at his apple before finally biting deep down into the apple's center, juices spilling over his hands. It was juicer than he expected- almost making Edward choke a little. Alphonse watched him eat, sending the best make of a smile he could without a face. Edward would sense his attempts and smile back.

But besides the occasional passing smiles, the two brothers had hardly said a word to one another since Alphonse had found Edward crying on the steps outside the main military branch. Sure, there was an occasional question that Alphonse was daring enough to inquire. But out of what little conversation they had, Alphonse had only understood that Edward was temporarily discharged from the military, that Edward's injury had something to do with it, and that Edward hated Mustang more than ever. He made the last statement quite clear.

They paused, mostly at Edward's silent but urgent request, beneath one of the few trees that stood by, in almost a sort of frozen confusion, the busy streets of Central. This was one of the few streets not scarred by burns or broken glass. One of the lucky ones. Alphonse helped Edward sit down on the bench, even though the older brother seemed to not want help at all. His metal body clinking noisily as Alphonse made his way around the other side, taking a careful seat next to that of his brother.

It was a warm spring day- a day slowly slipping into the thick humid heat of summer. Today was pleasant though. The sun winked friendly down through the branches at the young Elric brothers. Cicadas could be heard from a distance, casting a drowsy sort of haze over their quiet retreat. It was a long time before either of them even got a notion to speak.

And surprisingly it was Edward to speak first. Staring at his half eaten apple, Edward said, "I'm sorry, Alphonse."

Al turned his head, looking down at his brother with the eyes he could never truly comprehend that he had. "For what?"

Edward smiled a dry sort of smile, not even bothering to swat away the small seemingly lost dragonfly that rested upon the apple's core. He watched the dragonfly's wings still submissively- careful to not stir its perch.

"I was supposed to fix you," Edward said, bowing his head slightly- a painful smile still hugging his lips. "But I can't do anything now. I failed you."

Alphonse placed a gentle armored hand on Edward's exposed wrist. It was just enough stimulus to cast the dragonfly into flight again. Edward watched it go sadly, as if almost he wanted to go too.

"You didn't fail me, Edward," said Alphonse gently, moving his hand down inside the curve Edward's palm of flesh and bone. He could feel the pulse softly vibrating through his armor. It was quiet but constant and strong. A heart that Alphonse was so glad still kept time.

"This is a journey we took together," Alphonse continued, his echoing voice always sounding so calm and sure. "And it hasn't ended. We just hit a bump is all. We'll get over it... I can still help, brother. You don't have to do everything anymore."

Edward lowered his head again, bangs hiding his eyes. But his smile gave him away. He let out a small sigh of relief- releasing the burden as he breathed.

"I was hogging the spotlight, wasn't I?" Edward chuckled sardonically.

"Yeah, got to send some of those broken limbs my way too, brother," added Alphonse jokingly.

And the two shared a laugh they hadn't shared in a long time. It was a mixture of sadness and happiness- a swirl of possibilities that still lay ahead of them.

Alphonse squeezed his brother's hand tightly and reassuringly. Edward had an angel sitting beside him all this time- telling him over and over again, that everything was going to be alright. And at last, Edward chose to believe him.

This feeling he had now was too strong to be wrong. He believed they would get past this. He had to. Edward couldn't afford to grow wisdom this early in the game.

Edward was enjoying the moment far too much to notice when he walked by. Smiling and chatting with his brother about happier times- everything else seemed to have slipped out of importance. Edward didn't even notice he was there until he smelt the sour smell of cigarette smoke.

"Full Metal, what a surprise," came the familiar voice.

Edward turned to see the somewhat amused expression of Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, cigarette hanging out of his mouth just like always. He wasn't Havoc without his smokes.

Edward spared him a smile, "Not Full Metal at the moment."

"Ah," Havoc nodded, taking a deep drag from his cigarette, "I know. So you're just Edward Elric now. It's awkward calling a superior officer by his first name though."

"Hm, might as well get used to it," Edward smirked somewhat wryly. "At least until my suspension's up- I'm just a typical citizen."

Havoc's eyes seemed to gleam- almost as if he got a kick out of the idea. Edward cringed inwardly, sure that the man would use this opportunity to spit out a few short jokes. But Havoc surprised him.

"Hey, you interested in getting something for dinner?" Havoc asked.

Edward raised his eyebrows, obviously taken aback by the kind gesture. "Why all of the sudden?"

"Felt like being nice," Havoc shrugged. He took another drag from his cigarette before adding, "That and my date ditched me. I'd feel awkward getting something to eat by myself."

Edward made a face, Ah. So that's how it is.

He was just about to decline, when his stomach gave out a low and loud grumble. Flinching slightly, Edward couldn't hide the fact that he had only eaten a single apple the entire day.

"It's settled then," Havoc smiled, taking Edward's roaring stomach as a yes.

Before Edward to protest at all, the man had Edward linked at the arm and was dragging him off. Alphonse followed quietly in suit- not really bothering to put forth his two cents.

Edward tried to fight the man off as he was kidnapped but like Hughes- Havoc had a way of ignoring Edward's shouts. Besides, he really was hungry.

They arrived outside a simple sort of restaurant with an assortment of different foods to order. Taking a seat at one of the white umbrella tables- Edward couldn't have looked grumpier. Alphonse encouraged the boy to look over the menu but he was much to irritated at being kidnapped. So Havoc ordered for him.

When they were both served burgers, Edward finally decided to speak up.

"Why a cheese burger of all things?"

"Well you didn't seem in the mood to order," said Havoc putting out his cigarette on the table's ashtray. "And I like cheese burgers."

As if to prove this point, Havoc took a large bite out of the burger and then smiled a fat mouthed sort of smile. Edward stared down at his own burger in the similar distaste he had given Havoc's smile. But being much too hungry to complain much, Edward began nibbling away at the ends of the sandwich- and a few of the fries served along with it.

"So you two heading back home?" Havoc asked somewhat indifferently.

"We don't have a home to go to, really," said Edward. He tried to search Havoc's expression for pity. But the man was about as easy to read as a closed book. Not very easy at all.

"We're going back to the Rockbell's- they are friends of our family," interjected Alphonse in explanation. "You probably met Winry before."

"The blonde chick, right?" Havoc pointed out with one of his french fries. He held the french fry not much unlike how he would handle one of his smokes.

Edward's face slipped into a grimace, "She's not a chick."

"So you're going back to the Rockbell's," continued Havoc, his mouth slightly full and completely ignoring Edward's statement. "Then what?"

"We don't know exactly," Edward sighed, playing with a particularly flaccid fry. "Just waiting out my suspension I suppose."

Edward closed his eyes, a look of regret slipping across his face. "The Colonel doesn't even have to make the suspension permanent. By the time the suspension is up- I'll be due for assessment. And if I can't produce alchemy properly by then, I might as well not show up."

The silence afterwards was somewhat painful. Alphonse was sitting as still as possible trying not to fidget in any way. Havoc merely fished in his pockets nonchantly pulling out a new cigarette and lighting it.

"Doesn't sound like you," Havoc said lightly, exhaling a puff of smoke towards the sky.

"You don't know me very well," Edward muttered softly while looking up at the man. Edward was somewhat caught by surprise when he saw that Havoc's plate was clean. Edward hadn't even taken a few bites out of his burger.

"Right, I don't know you very well," nodded Havoc, taking another drag before inevitably exhaling again. You could almost time him between breaths.

"You just surprised me as all. I thought for sure you two would be on Scar's trail already. I mean, you'd never backed down at a challenge before," continued Havoc not noticing the look on Edward's face at the mention of Scar's name. The uncomfortable silence caused Havoc to look over to Edward's stunned face.

"What?" Havoc muttered, not realizing that he had said too much.

"What about Scar?" Edward asked somewhat hoarsely.

Havoc rose his eyebrows and said in a low voice, "He was spotted in the area during the raids. When word got out that you were missing, rumors shot off like wildfire. Even I thought for sure you had been killed. Brains shot straight out of your head. But the Colonel told me you were recuperating at the hospital- quite alive."

Havoc took another drag before asking with a touch of curiosity in his voice, "Don't you remember who attacked you?"

"No," answered Edward honestly. "I don't remember a thing."

Edward then stood up, giving Havoc a deep bow that almost made the man choke on his cigarette. It was quite unlike the boy to be so respectful. Edward gave a short slur of thanks before taking off- his metal brother clanking nosily after his trail.

And for some reason Havoc felt almost as if he had indeed swallowed his cigarette.

"I suddenly have the feeling the colonel is going to roast me alive," Havoc muttered to himself, unable to keep from grimacing as he paid for the meal.


"But brother, Scar couldn't have possibly given you those scars," Alphonse sputtered, following his brother's wake.

"I know that," came Edward's reply.

"Then why-?"

"Even if Scar didn't give me these wounds- he probably knows who did," Edward muttered in a hush undertone to his brother as they made their quick way through the labyrinth that was Central's downtown. The walls too frequently had ears- so Edward made care not to blurt out their business to such ears. "If I can't beat it out of Mustang- I might as well go for the next best thing."

"But brother," Alphonse continued, lowering his voice a notch. "You are in no condition to confront Scar."

"Who said I was going to confront him?" Edward smiled back at armored brother that trailed after him. "I'm just gonna beat the snot out of him and ask him a few questions after he's regaining consciousness."

If Alphonse could have made a face- he would have. "That's so reckless, brother."

"Hee hee," Edward grinned wickedly. "I know."

Alphonse couldn't help but think they probably were going to miss their train tomorrow. And knowing his brother as well as he did- he was probably right.

Winry was not going to be pleased.

To Be Continued…
Please R + R!

Yay. Edward's going back to normal. I love evil Edward. :insert hug:

Anyway, this chapter may just have been a lot of reminiscing but it's best not to rush the plot sometimes. At least that's my opinion.

If any of you are willing to contribute fanart- please do. I'd love to see how you guys see this story visually. If you do I shall post it up on my bio page in thanks. As if that's any incentive. :insert sweatdrop:

I know it has been forever and a day since I updated but thank you to those have stuck with me.

Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter.

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Thanks to all that reviewed. You are all credit to why I continue to update here. Thanks for the reviews that remind me why I enjoy writing on once again- if you have fanart- send it to me via email or pm or whatever. My aim is DiehardGohanFan- if you wish to get in touch with me.

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