Chapter 2: New Faculty Member

A young human man stares at the job advertisement in the paper.

Advertisement reads: SunnyDale institution recruiting! Interns wanted; will be paid substantial wages!

"Well…I guess it's better than the mage academy." The young man muttered to himself.

He looked up from the paper and at the strangely designed building. The building remarkably resembled elven architecture and surrounded by an absurdly high wall.

The young man gathered his things and went to the front gate which was guarded by a sleeping Pandaren in scrubs. The young man approached cautiously. The Pandaren seemed to be sleeping profoundly and talking in its sleep.

"It's complete pandamonium! So much…So much…precious brew….wasted…snore…still good…5-second rule…after hit ground…snore…suck proficiently."

"Uh…excuse me."

"Snurk! Who--Who goes there!" The Pandaren woke with a fury as it started to swing a wooden staff in various directions.

The young man quickly dodged and stepped away. The Pandaren seeing that he wasn't being attacked laid down his staff and yawned. The Pandaren suddenly took notice of the intruder in his presence.

"Who are you?" the Pandaren asked sleepily.

"My name is Siegh and I am--"

"You come here to challenge dojo?" the Pandaren interrupted.

"Uh…no I'm here to apply for a job."

"Hmm…must then go to headmaster. See if he finds you worthy. Down hall, make left turn and watch for harpy droppings."

"Harpy droppings?"

"Yes, very bad if get hit. Very stinky and very nasty, must avoid quickly. Still having grounds sanitized and still trying to potty train harpies. Much stinkiness in the droppings."

"I'll look out for them."

The Pandaren stepped aside as the gate opened. Siegh entered the institution grounds and walked quickly towards the institution itself, keeping in mind what the Pandaren said. As he passed he saw a lone gnome with a shovel and large wheelbarrow.

"How could something so big come from…ugh!" The gnome cursed his luck.

"Incoming! Sccrrk!" a voice shouted from above.

An unpleasant splash was heard hitting the gnome on the sleeves of his clothes. The gnome cursed very loudly and profusely skyward.

Siegh expected the madness outside had no reflection on what was to come. He was however greatly disappointed.

Siegh passed by what seemed to be one of the therapy rooms. He saw a nightelf woman talking to a very pale, old man in elongated robes and wearing what looked like a goat's skull on his head.

"Now Telzan we need to address your necrophilia problem. You know that kind of thing is not accepted in the society we live in today. Just because you think its right doesn't mean everyone else will." The nightelf stated.

"For the last time, I am a necrolyte! I do not commit necrophilia! I use necromancy! There is a difference!" Telzan shouted in outrage.

"But your fascination with dead bodies is a little bit disturbing. Is it because you have relationship problems? Is it because you can't get a living girl?"

"It has nothing to do with that!"

"You're awfully defensive about it."

"I use necromancy to kill people! Not to raise myself a girlfriend!"

"But from the sound of things, I think some companionship might do you some good."

The necrolyte banged his head repeatedly on the side of the wall.

Siegh was perturbed by what he had heard but continued down the hall. As he was walking he saw strange colored smoke coming from one of the rooms. Curious, he looked into the room.

An old troll was mixing some strange liquid in a small cauldron. The colored smoke was being spewed from the cauldron. A dranei looked intently at the troll.

"Are you sure you're the kind of doctor I should be talking to?" A feminine voice came from the Dranei.

"Of course, mon! I be the big doctor back Echo Isle! I have mighty big voo doo! I majored in voodoo back in Troll College. Minored in 'Ward Technologies' and only took seven semesters! No worries! Be happy! You say you have problems with how you look?"

"Yes, back on Draenor I used to be very pretty. But I came into contact with demon magic and it changed me into an inferior sub-species."

The troll doctor stared in confusion at the disturbed Dranei woman.

"It's all very complicated…"

"Well this transformation potion is just the thing you need, wo'mon! Change you back into pretty lady and solve all your problems! Voodoo magic never failed me yet! Ah…It's all ready now. Take small taste…"

The troll witch doctor took a ladle and poured in the luminescent green liquid into a vial. The dranei took the vial and drank the potion with a moment of hesitation.

"Well how do I look?" The dranei woman asked.

"Eh…good! Very good but I think might need to work up the potion a little bit more. Wait! Don't look in mirror just yet! I be right back with more ingredients! We make this all better!"

The troll witch doctor slinked away from the now boar-faced, snake haired dranei.

"Ick…I didn't think I could make it worse. Maybe shouldn't have put in so much Quilboar snout and started with the Tauren hooves instead." The troll witch doctor muttered to himself.

"Excuse me, do you know where the main office?" Siegh asked.

"Ack, mon! Who do ya think you be? Why you be askin for main office? You with Azeroth police force? I tell you my voodoo license is legal in two of the three human regions, mon! You can't accuse me of anything!" The troll started with a shout.

"No…I'm not with the police force."

"Oh! You must be from secret military society looking for psychotic assassins then. You can take your pick two halls down. I suggest going for the one in room 506! Will tear out eye with just two fingers."

"What? I'm not with any military society! I'm looking for the main office so that I can apply for a job!"

"Oh! Ja mon, how could I forget about that ad! Heh…never mind what I just said then. Continue down hall there man until you reach burnt part of hallway. Head boss should be in there. You don't get lost now! I've got to get me some more ingredients from outside. I hear good pickin's outside, heh heh heh…"

The troll ran back inside his room to get a shovel. Siegh now left quickly to get to the main office as fast as he could, ignoring any other "mishaps" that he might encounter in other rooms.

The end of the hall seemed to be in cruel ruin. There were various patches of charred wall on each side of the hallway. Siegh stepped over piles of wooden and stone debris to reach the main office door.

The half clinging door had magically inscribed words printed on the glass. In fluctuating multicolored lettering it spelled: "Dr. SunnyDale's Office".

"I guess this must be the place." Siegh thought to himself.

The clinging door conveniently fell from its last hinge and made a clear path for Siegh. Siegh found a blood elf with a white lab coat behind a large desk. The blood elf was writing furiously and dictating quietly but audibly to himself.

"Dear Vashj…it has been a grueling month for me. For the second time, I find my office in ruins at the hands of goblins! The green wretches will burn dearly for this act! How are things in Outland? Still the same fiery wasteland I hope. It's hard out here running this…'recovery center'. It is becoming even harder to dodge the wary eyes of the blasted Azeroth police force. But I maintain my guise well and the fools still do not realize who I truly am. Our underground operations are running smoothly. We will be able to settle my people here soon. Tell Illidan that I said hello and thank him for the cookies he sent me even though they were a little burnt. Best wishes, Kael--YOU! When did you get here!"

Siegh drew back as the angered blood elf raised himself from his seat. Siegh looked around the room and acted sheepishly.

"Who me?" Siegh replied.

"How long have you stood there?" The blood elf asked menacingly.

"Not long enough to hear your silent self-dictations?"

The blood elf stared at him for a few moments but gradually nodded his head.

"Good, we will leave at that then. State your business! What brings you here in my presence?"

Siegh shuffled around in his small pack and took out the paper ad.

"I'm here to apply for a job."

"Oh is that so?" The blood elf smoothed out from his previous angry tone.

"Do you have any references?"

"Uh…unfortunately I don't." Siegh replied grudgingly.

"You came here without any references on hand?"

"It's just that…"

"Well out with it! I don't have all day! I've got patients to oversee and insolent wretches to burn."

"Um…my references are all dead."

"Dead? How can they all be dead?"

"Well I was previously student in a local mage sanctum. My teachers were all mages from Dalaran. They helped me to get into a Dalaran mage academy to further my studies but unfortunately we all knew what happened there. It was also the same time that all my teachers decided to take a trip back to Dalaran and they ended up getting killed. So that was twice as tragic. I have nowhere else to go now. So I hope you can understand my situation, sir."

"Yes, yes very tragic to what happened to all of the Kirin Tor. But cry me a river, young mage, before you try to play on my sentiments. I am not a man so easily swayed."

"I am sorry to hear that…" Siegh said as he started for the door.

"However I am willing to make an exception in your case. We are a bit understaffed at the moment. So I am willing to hire you. Take a seat."

Siegh saw this as a sign of good faith and luck that he was able to receive the job. Siegh sat in a rickety wooden chair in front of the desk.

"If you will excuse me sir, I didn't get your name."

"You will refer to me as Dr. SunnyDale and only as Dr. SunnyDale! We will make that clear right now."

"But I heard you say something different when you were--"

"What was that?"

"Uh…nothing."

"Exactly my point, it is never wise to question me, boy. Never! Oh so help you, I'll burn you down with all the other incompetent workers here! You will burn so furiously that the very bones in your body will--"

DING! A ringing sound was heard from a strange box like machine. The same Pandaren that Siegh met out in the gate came into the office. The Pandaren pushed a small button upon the machine and opened a small door in the box that revealed a small cooked pie.

"Of all the confounded things to still work in this office, it's that blasted thing! And why are you in here!"

"Lunch hour, Sunny-dono. Warmed up some good pie to go with afternoon brew."

"And drinking on the job! Get out before I burn every furry hair on you that you will look like a giant skinned cat!"

With that Dr. SunnyDale cast a large fireball in the direction of the Pandaren. The Pandaren suddenly disappeared.

"Yikes!"

"Run away!"

"Save the pie!"

Three smaller pandarens scurried away with one holding the pie over its head. Dr. SunnyDale calmed himself and rested back in his seat.

"Blasted pandaren! I hate it when he does that. And I hate that confounded machine too!"

"What is it?" Siegh asked curiously.

"It's a device created by one of my gnome patients. He calls it a 'microwave', a stupid thing to call it if you ask me."

"Huh…"

"But enough of that! We move on to officially inducting you into the SunnyDale institution staff! You must sign some papers first."

From one of the many drawers in his desk, Dr. SunnyDale drew out a large stack of papers. He slammed the papers down upon the desk and handed Siegh a quill.

"Am I supposed to read all of this?" Siegh asked.

"No, you're just suppose to right on that line on the top page." Dr. SunnyDale said as he urged Siegh to sign.

"What does it all say?"

"It is 573 pages of legal documents that states the terms of your employment, wage statements, and eliminates all liability from the institution should you be killed on the job."

"Killed? Why does it need to state that?"

"Well the reason we are understaffed is because all our interns meet…unfortunate accidents. We've run through seven interns just this month. You would be number eight."

"You mean seven people have all ready been--?"

"Never mind that! You said you knew some magic right?"

"Yes, but--"

"Then you should be fine! Just sign the paper and we'll move on."

"Alright but I don't see an ink container or…"

"You must sign it in blood."

"You want the signature in blood? Isn't that a little extreme?"

"We're out of colored ink and we need the signature to stand out."

Dr. SunnyDale snatched back the quill from Siegh. He opened one of the other drawers. Siegh could hear skittering sounds from the drawer.

"No please have mercy!" A tiny voice came from one of the drawers.

Dr. SunnyDale stabbed the quill's sharp point down in the drawer and a shriek rang out.

"Oh the pain! The pain! I live only to suffer! Bastard…agh…" The small voice squeaked.

Dr. SunnyDale immediately closed the drawer and handed the quill back to Siegh. Siegh was disturbed at the sight but promptly signed the document. Dr. SunnyDale then took up the paper.

"Well everything is in order then! By the way…what is your name?"

"I am Siegh Light--"

"Oh you must be Lightbringer's fledgling. Tragic at what happened to your father. But you could say that we all could have seen it coming. Arthas was always a traitorous little snot. Take Jaina away from me would he! I would have made him burn! I could have!"

Siegh shook his head immediately.

"Wait! I think you must be mistaken. I'm not Siegh Lightbringer, my surname is Lightringer. It's very close but it's not exactly the same."

"What? Lightringer? Humph…I have to say you humans have the most illogical and strangest names of all creatures. In any case, I'll have to file this with my secretary."

Siegh sensed a magical presence forming inside the office. Siegh turned to see where the magical source came from and instead stared up at a blood elf woman in a red dress.

"Ahh…and there she is now. Siegh meet my secretary, Arizaeleonazeneon Lunasaber, we call her 'Ari' for short."

"It's nice to meet--"

"Ari give Siegh here one of our case files and show him to one of the therapy rooms." Dr. SunnyDale ordered.

"Case files? I haven't been trained in or studied in any psychological fields. I'm a student of magic! I don't know how I can help anyone yet. I don't even have a place to stay!"

"You will live on institution grounds. Ari will have a place set up for you. Exquisite furnishings and comfortable living I assure you. As for your wages, you will be paid 100 gold coins a month."

"Wow that's extremely generous."

"You will be paid upon survival that is. We shall he how it all works out from there."

"Upon survival? You mean won't pay me if--"

"You die or get slaughtered? Absolutely not! I pay well for good employees that can at least hold out for a month. It was all in the fine print on the ad."

Siegh looked intently back at the ad paper in his hand. He could see no such wording that existed upon the paper.

"I don't see anything that says that on here."

"Oh really? Minor technicality, the wording actually exists in an ethereal plane."

Dr. SunnyDale snapped his fingers together and the wording appeared in plane view upon the paper.

"I wish you the best of luck, Siegh Lightringer. You will need all you can get to survive in this place. MWHAHAHA--cough, cough--HAHAHA…alright now away with you and get to work."

Before Siegh could protest anything, he was suddenly warped into another hallway along with Ari. Siegh stood in front of a large metallic door and Ari handed Siegh the paper file and a set of iron keys.

"Okay, you're all set! Your personal lab coat, name tag, and notebook are all inside the room along with your patient. I'll see you during the lunch hour, Siegh. Try not dying until then." Ari giggled.

"Wait! I don't know what to do with this!"

"Oh I wouldn't worry about it too much. A lot of the doctors here don't know what they are doing either! It's learning as you go experience. So you shouldn't have any problem! Farewell, Siegh."

Ari disappeared in an instant and Siegh was left shocked in the sudden rush. But even in the midst of his anxiety and confusion, Siegh took up the keys and faced the metallic door. He was afraid of who or rather what was behind a protective metal door. He set one of the keys into the large keyhole of the door. A perfect fit and Siegh unlocked the metal door. He opened the door embarking in his first step into the madness that is the SunnyDale Institute.