Starting Over

Chapter 3: Opportunity

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! I know it's going a little slowly, but the next chapter's gonna be good…it's all about patience. Don't forget to review!

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Pam settled into the couch with her Chinese and turned back to the movie. She laughed as Westley said "As you wish," but she was too consumed in her thoughts to pay much attention beyond that.

She was happy with her decision not to marry Roy—she was surer of it every day. She liked living alone; she liked the way her life was going. She just hadn't realized how lonely she was until she'd talked to Jim.

She spent the ret of the night absorbed in thought, going through the motions of doing the dishes and locking up the house, not even noticing when she was suddenly sitting on her bed, pulling a crinkled piece of paper from her nightstand drawer.

She'd read it at least a hundred times, mostly in the few weeks between Jim's departure and when she called off the wedding. As much as she told herself that calling off the wedding had nothing to do with Jim, at these moments when she re-read his words in her darkened bedroom, she could admit that wasn't true.

His unfaltering belief in her made her realize that she could be more than just a receptionist. That she deserved better. Better than Scranton. Better than Roy. The combination of his confession, his letter, and his subsequent absence had jolted her out of the daze she'd been living in for 10 years and spurred her into action.

As she read Jim's words once again, she realized that he was the kind of person she needed in her life. She'd known it all along, deep down. But actually seeing it in writing, his support and love for her was so clear she couldn't believe she'd ignored it for so long.

Suddenly, what she'd been thinking about for the past three months (well, three years and three months) became clear. She wanted to be with Jim. She'd told herself for so long that she was happy with her choices so that when Jim kissed her, she didn't even realize what he was offering her – a life. A life that she barely knew she wanted, and that she really didn't think she deserved. Their conversations today had forced her to realize that he was as great as she'd always known he was, and that no matter how far they went from each other, she couldn't keep her thoughts from turning to him. That was much more than friendship. She couldn't believe how long it took her to get to this point, but now that she was there, she only hoped he'd want her again.

She knew she'd have to approach this carefully. She'd hurt Jim a lot and the image of him wiping away his tears as he took her rejection would haunt her always. I just wasn't ready for him yet, she told herself.

A few weeks passed and she was constantly assaulted by thoughts of Jim. She dreamt of him at night and during the day she found herself imagining a life with him. A life filled with laughter, support, and consideration—all the things he'd been giving her for years, asking nothing in return. Now she was ready to start giving back.

They talked frequently, mostly trivial things. Dwight and Angela's budding relationship, Michael's dilemma between his local flavor and big city gal, Jim's new colleagues. With every day, every conversation, every laugh, she fell a little further.

For weeks she'd thought about how she would approach him. She didn't think that "Okay, well I've finally realized how wonderful you are and I'm ready to be together now," had a very romantic ring to it. She also knew she had to take it slow. She'd just come out of a ten year relationship and she didn't want to mess up the best thing in her life.

As it turned out, the opportunity came to her. She waited until she got home to call him, wanting to avoid the knowing stares of her colleagues.

"Hey Beesly," he answered, knowing it was her.

"Hey, guess what?" she could barely contain her excitement.

"Hmm, Dwight accidentally shot himself in the foot with his spud gun?" he ventured.

"If only. No, I got an interview for the internship!" she shrieked.

"That's amazing! Congratulations!" he said, genuinely happy for her.

"Thanks. I can't believe it. I'm so excited!" she beamed

"You should be. When is it?"

"Friday—in New York. I'm thinking I might stay the weekend. I haven't had a vacation in forever," she said, hoping he would understand what she meant.

"That's awesome. You should definitely do that. You're welcome to stay at my place. I'm really close to the city and I've got a ton of room," he offered.

She was speechless. She was just hoping that they could get together, she didn't even imagine staying with him.

He misinterpreted her silence, "Unless…I mean, you probably want to stay in the city."

"No!" she protested, a little too strongly. "I'd love to stay with you. Thanks. Just promise you'll leave room for me on the apartment tour."

"I dunno Beesly, you've got a habit of wandering off. If I lose one more person I'm going to lose my credentials," he joked.

"I promise I'll be good."

"Okay then. I'll count you in.'

"Okay, well I should probably go. I need to call my mom and tell her the news."

"Oh yeah, definitely. So I guess I'll see you in like, 3 days," he said.

"Can't wait," she said honestly.

"Me either. Congratulations again, Pam."

"Thanks, Jim."

They hung up their respective phones and Pam was positively buzzing with excitement. She was giddy in a way that she realized only Jim could make her.

Later that night she'd already started packing her bag for the weekend. She found herself scrutinizing every piece of clothing and wondering if Jim would like it. She couldn't help it. Now that she'd seen him in this new light, he was all that occupied her mind. She couldn't wait to see where this weekend would go.

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