Forgive My Hesitation

Rating: M for language, violence

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing you recognize.. That should cover it properly.

Spoilers: From RAW, January 2nd.. A few on back and up to RAW, January 16th… just not like you might expect.

Eventual Pairings: Lita/John Cena, Stacy/Chris Masters, Lilian/Batista, Victoria/Tyson Tomko, Trish/Jeff, Candice/Not telling, Maria/Not Telling

Summary: When Lita takes a stand, she finds help from friends and from people that she never would have expected.

Notes: This chapter and the next take place on January 9th, that would be the night of the Live Sex crap, but.. It's not happening in this story. .in fact, a lot of what actually took place on that edition of RAW will not happen.

-x-x-x-

Arriving to the arena with her brother, Randy, Rey and Chris Benoit brought the redhead a sense of security that she hadn't felt in a long time. Just knowing that they would be there brought the adding feeling of comfort that she had been lacking…filling just one of the many voids that were currently present. Of course, having Chris Masters, Victoria and Lilian around did help matters, but last night and this day.. Well, it was just different. After they had gotten back to the hotel, Lita requesting that they not pay a visit to the hospital as it really wasn't necessary for a bloody nose and a bruise; Trish, Lilian, Victoria and Tyson had stopped by the hotel room the redhead was sharing with her brother. They hadn't witnessed the altercation in the hallway, but separately, they knew that Lita really didn't want to participate at all at the pay per view. Ric had also stopped by and…much to their surprise again, Candice and Maria had sent inquiries with Trish and Victoria. Perhaps it was just that, Lita really hadn't had much contact with the two Diva's…or perhaps it was because their concern, was just unexpected. Candice had at least explained her reasoning to Trish, but where the blonde interviewer was concerned….well, they really didn't know why. Whatever the case, the small stream of visitors had come to a halt when the redhead started to yawn.. Dave ushering everyone who wasn't rooming near them to the door as politely and as quickly as possible. That left Lita in the company of Rey, Chris Benoit, Randy and Chris Masters…the RAW wrestler across the hallway while Rey and Chris Benoit were on one side of them with Randy on the other. And once it was down to just them, Dave decided to talk about his brief conversation with Cena…promising his sister that everything would work out for the best. Still, Chris Benoit voiced his doubts about the way things would go…Randy adding his own opinion against it, while Chris Masters and Rey seemed to be undecided thus far. And it wasn't that they didn't trust the former WWE Champion… just that, they didn't think it was really the best thing where Lita was concerned. The four brought that up with Dave when they had arrived at the arena, the men getting settled while Lita set off to meet with the Chairman, Edge and Cena.

Chris Benoit crossed his arms over his chest, the Crippler just having returned from walking Lita down to the office for the night. "Look.. Dave, I know you're just trying to look out for her…but are you sure this is a good idea?"

Randy frowned, speaking before Dave could reply to that.. "I thought the point of talking to John, was so Li would get out of that stupid contract…not stay in it."

Dave ran a hand over his short hair, "I didn't have that much time to talk to Cena, alright? My first priority was making sure that Li would be taken care of…protected. And--"

"But, what about getting her out of the contract?"

The Animal shot an annoyed look in Randy's direction. "If you'd just shut up for a minute and let me explain, please? I have a feeling that the two of you don't really agree with the way things are going to be run but…just trust me. The contract will be terminated, just not as soon as originally planned." He sat back in the folding chair he was occupying, a thoughtful look on his face. "I just want that walking piece of trash to see what he was really missing…how much of an asset she really is."

Chris Masters raised an eyebrow, "and you're sure that Li is going to be okay with that? She doesn't really know Cena, Edge has treated her like shit for who knows how long and now…you want her to pretend that she's--"

Dave shook his head, "you all make it sound like I'm asking her to pretend that she's his girlfriend and I'm not. I'm not asking her to pretend to be anything that she isn't.. I just suggested that they try to make the bastard a little jealous along the way…keep the contract in place until he asks for his re-match, which he'll lose of course, and then have it terminated."

"I think you should have cleared this with her first though.." Chris Benoit held up a hand when Dave opened his mouth to interrupt. "I do trust your judgment…but, with everything that she's been through? How do you know that this won't backfire?"

"Then it becomes optional, I guess.." Dave shrugged it off, though he did see Benoit's point... "Stephanie had mentioned that the Women's Division was going to be jumpstarted after the rosters joined, right? I doubt that the bastard would really let Li compete…but--"

Randy shook his head, "she doesn't have to be in the contract for any of that though.. She could be on her own and--"

"Which would just leave her more open to an attack.." The Animal pointed out then, hoping that this would drive his point home. "Being in that contract hasn't stopped him from treating like her dirt."

Chris Masters inwardly sighed, the young wrestler currently stationed near the door. "And if she's out of the contract…it could get worse. Or it will get worse.."

The World Heavyweight Champion nodded sharply, "but.. If the contract stays in place, she'll at least have Cena around. I don't know how long that contract will stay in effect, either until he leaves her alone…or until he's out of the business with a career ending injury…whichever happens first."

Chris Benoit settled on the bench, his elbows coming to rest on his thighs. "Basically, you just want a guarantee that Li will be protected.. Even if we might be on RAW more often, even if Masters can be around her more…"

"He'd attack her when she was alone," Randy concluded logically, a frown still evident on the third generation wrestler's face. "With the contract, she'll at least be safe in the arenas but--"

"Li has been rooming with Victoria for the past few weeks, sometimes she rooms with me." Chris Masters paused, leaning more fully against the wall. "Rooming arrangements aren't a big deal.. But, if it all comes down to it.. She'll start rooming with me until the contract is up.. Or at least be in a room that connects to mine."

Dave nodded his agreement to that, hazel eyes shifting to his wrist watch. "She should've been back by now.."

Rey shook his head, "hermano.. She's meeting with McMahon…we all know how long he takes to discuss the smallest things."

Randy frowned, "you don't think that bastard would try something now…do you?" Blue eyes glanced between the door and the duffle bag belonging to Lita. "I mean, I know that Cena's around, but.. That doesn't guarantee anything and--"

Dave rolled his eyes, "if you're going to be that paranoid.. Why don't you go down to the office and wait for her.. I doubt he'd try anything now, Randy."

"I'm just saying, that's all.." The Legend Killer rolled his shoulders, trying to play it off but.. "the last time she was walking alone…he--"

Chris Masters shot him a warning look, the young wrestler already starting to open the door. "I'll go wait for her.. Just to be on the safe side."

Dave sent a suspicious glance between the now closed door and the third generation wrestler. "Did something happen that I don't know about?" An eyebrow raised when Randy wouldn't respond. "Spit it out, Orton… what happened, when did it happen and where?"

Randy held up his hands in defense, his mouth opening to reply when there was a sharp knock on the door; Chris Benoit moving quickly to answer…the caller speaking when the door opened.

"I hope y'all ain't here to attack me or something.."

The Crippler shook his head, opening the door a little bit wider so Lita could enter the locker room. "You aren't blonde, you aren't Canadian and you aren't an asshole…so, I'd say you're safe, Cena."

The former champion nodded, a quick nod sent to Dave before he started to leave…stopping when a small hand came to rest tentatively on his arm.

"Thank you," a subdued voice told him, the redhead avoiding any direct eye contact for the time being. "I don't know what he would've done.."

John shrugged it off, "it really ain't a big deal, alright? I'll see ya 'round."

-x-x-x-

Shortly after John had left, Chris returned to the locker room.. Lita having since entered, her arms wrapping around herself in a protective manner. And while the young wrestler obviously hadn't found the redhead, he had found the WWE Champion…lurking too near the locker room for his liking. One pointed look had Edge retreating for the time being.. Chris making his way back to the locker room, stopped shortly when a passing stagehand handed over the revised match listing for the night. The young man had scanned the sheet quickly, looking first for his name…then for the redhead's. And while he was alright with his own match for that night, he frowned heavily when Lita's name appeared near the bottom of the page. Granted, the Diva would be in a match…just not the type of match that Chris really wanted to see her in. He was certain that Lita felt the same way about it, his pace quickening so he could return to the locker room to talk to her about it. And while he hadn't really expected to see Lita standing at the doorway to the locker room, seeing John Cena with her was just flat out unexpected. Clearly confused, the young wrestler waited until Lita was in the locker room, a questioning look that went unnoticed by the former champion. After a moment, Chris cleared his throat…his gaze falling on the solemn face of the redhead. He could see a sheet of paper fisted in one hand, though he wasn't sitting close enough to see what that piece of paper was for. So, instead, he waited…wanting to see if Lita would talk about the match listing or the meeting she had just left for that matter. But, it was apparent that the Diva really was in no mood to talk, her lips pressed together…an unreadable expression on her face. She was currently flanked by her brother and Chris Benoit, Randy seated in a folding chair near the couch while Rey was perched on the arm of the couch near Benoit. Currently, their collective attention was on one person…that one person not having uttered a word since she had spoken to Cena.

Chris Masters cleared his throat, holding out the sheet of paper in his hand. "I have the match listing for tonight.." A questioning look was sent to Dave, "has Stephanie told you when you'll be appearing?"

Dave shook his head, "I haven't talked to her in depth, but I'm thinking it's either at the beginning of the show or at the end.. I was supposed to check in with her while you two went off for the pre-show meeting."

The younger man nodded, hesitantly holding the paper out to him. "You might want to look at this first.. I'm not sure if Stephanie will give you a copy or not so.."

Dave reached out to take the piece of paper, both men noticing how Lita had curled her legs beneath her, leaning into Chris Benoit's side. "Something tells me I won't like this.."

"You won't," Masters admitted with a grimace, "I can't say I was too happy about it either.."

The Animal held the sheet of paper so that Chris Benoit and Rey could see it, Randy moving to stand behind the four on the couch… "I'm shocked.. He's actually defending his title tonight…"

"Against Li.." Rey stated quietly, a quick look sent over to the still quiet Diva. "I don't understand…"

Randy swore under his breath, "it makes perfect sense actually… he wants to humiliate her."

Chris Benoit shook his head, one hand absently stroking Lita's hair. "I think it's beyond that, Randy.. Humiliation might be a part of it, but.. If you look at how he's treated her, what we know…and what she won't tell us.. The next three weeks, he's going to make it his sole purpose to make her life even more miserable."

"He's trying to destroy her.." Chris Masters sent a look to Dave, before his gaze settled evenly on the redhead. "It's been happening slowly, right before my own damn eyes…got worse last week but I don't think that's the worst of it."

Randy opened his mouth to reply, shutting it quickly when the Diva broke her silence.

"He won't stop.." hazel eyes stared out, a haunted look sending a clear message to them all. "Chris is right…Ric is right. He wants to destroy me, break me from the inside.." Lita's voice started to waver dangerously, "that's all he had been doing…until last week. And if he can't attack me? He'll attack my friends."

Dave's mouth pressed into a thin line, one hand reaching out to settle on his sister's shoulder. "Li? Look, honey.. I'm not asking you to tell us anything that you don't want to but…what happened out there? Why was Cena walking back with you?"

Lita blinked, a slim hand wiping hastily at her eyes. "He told me I can't escape…no matter what I do. It doesn't matter who's there.. And he started to say more but…that was when John decided to help." Shaking her head, the Diva continued: "I don't understand why he would suddenly care.. Unless it's because of that little chat you had with him but--"

"You understand though, right? Little Red, the reason I asked that Cena keep the contract in place.. I want to see you on your own again, become who you were again but.." Dave frowned slightly, waiting until she was at least acknowledging him. "If you're on your own, that bastard would only go after you more."

The redhead nodded shakily, "I get that but.. How do you know that he won't turn out to be another Edge?"

Chris Benoit shook his head, the hand that was stroking over her hair stilling to rest on her back. "Li.. If John was really like that, I doubt he would've helped you just now. Sure, he's not exactly…conventional, he has a tendency to just speak his mind without thinking.. I just don't think he's that type of person."

Chris Masters nodded his agreement, "I don't think he'll pull the same type of shit, Li.. And if he even thinks it? I'll set him straight. You aren't alone in this, you know that right? I will be there as much as I can be."

After a moment, the Diva nodded…running a hand through her hair. "I might need you tonight.. The stipulations for the match were already set, back at the meeting. It won't be a typical match and even though he's supposed to talk about it at the beginning of RAW.. I… well, you should hear it now." She frowned then, a sharp breath exhaled before she continued: "he wants to make it an evening gown, tuxedo match.."

Dave raised an eyebrow at that, "did he say anything about outside interference? I mean, I haven't talked to Stephanie yet, but.. We're supposed to be making an appearance at some point tonight."

"Cena's already been banned from ringside, that also extended to Ric and you.." Lita nodded to Chris Masters, her attention turning back to her brother shortly. "I'm not sure about anyone else though…or if anyone else would care."

"We care," Randy spoke up from his spot behind the couch, "and like Dave said.. We don't know when we're appearing yet, so…you might not have to go through with all of the match."

Benoit shook his head, "she shouldn't have to be in that type of match in the first place.. Li, you should be wrestling in the women's division."

Lita smiled wryly, "trust me.. That's where I want to be. But, apparently, I do best at ringside, cheering him on and looking like a stupid, naïve, slut."

Rey sent her a smile, "which we know you aren't, chica.. Soon enough, everyone else will know that too. Including you."

The redhead sent him a baffled look, "how--"

"I think what he's trying to say," Chris Benoit interrupted before Rey could explain himself, "Li.. You said to us, that you don't know who you are anymore.. We know you're still in there and even if you are a little lost now? We're going to help you."

Heaving a sigh, the Diva nodded. "I just hate the fact, that it's gotten to this point…that it's gotten this far."

"You aren't weak.." Dave reminded her, his tone firm. "Just remember that much, Li.. You are not weak. And like Benoit said, like I've said.. We're going to help you, if you let us help you."

At that, Lita only nodded.. Leaning against her brother this time, while they discussed the possible scenarios for that night's RAW. And while they couldn't go into too much detail, since they didn't know when and where the Smackdown superstars would be appearing…they at least came up with a few plans and a few back up plans. The majority of their plans depended on them being able to interfere during the 'main event' while the others called for a few minor altercations backstage or at the beginning of the show. But, that would all depend on what Stephanie told them…and how much Edge would complain about it. Granted, they figured that he didn't have that much stroke in the top to really decide the outcomes but… he was the WWE Champion…and it was his match. So, when Chris Masters and Lita left for the pre-show meeting, the Smackdown wrestlers set off to meet with Stephanie. Much to their chagrin, the Smackdown crew was informed that they wouldn't be able to interfere too much that night.. But they could confront Edge at some point during the show. And when Dave asked about the main event in particular, Stephanie had the unfortunate duty of informing them that…by that point in time, they would be 'ejected' from the building. Naturally, that didn't sit too well with the Smackdown wrestlers…mostly because it was effectively isolating the redhead from anyone who did give a damn about her well being. And as they made their way back to the locker room to wait for Chris and Lita… they could only hope that someone backstage would help her. At this point, it didn't matter who.. Just as long as someone put an end to the humiliating main event.