Author's Notes: Thank you, everyone, for your kind reviews. I am quite honored that you thought my story worth taking the time to review! I felt it was only polite to answer your comments, but I don't know how to get in touch with any of you, so I'm doing it here in hopes that you'll come back to read this.
Liz: Why, thank you! I'm glad you think so.
Ann: Yeah, the original COPL only worked for me until I realized just how much better it could've been. I thought the essential plot wasn't too shabby, but the characters' reactions to events were totally not in character and just plain un-realistic, at times. As for Leia's indecisiveness…well, I'm going to be having plenty of that as well, but I think (I hope!) the difference you'll see in my story is that it will be justified (again, I hope so, anyway) instead of just randomly there. I do want it there because I think it shows that she's human, too, not just some "ice princess" or robot or something, with no feelings, but I also wanted to present reasons behind the way she reacts to stuff, instead of just putting it there without explanation. Hopefully, that'll work out. When I post it, I'd love to hear if you think it does or not!
Princess Daisy: Hi! waves I know what you mean about the forum. Much sadness- I really miss our friendly little community, not to mention all the great fics that were going on there. I found another forum that seems very nice, too, and a lot of us from the other forum are there now. I think it might be advertising or some other against-the-rules thing if I posted it here, but email me, if you want, and I'll send you the address!
Pitdroid: Well, I hope I won't disappoint with this one!
Clare: Thank you very much! And I definitely plan to continue posting. I'm up to chapter nine, right now, just going back and proofreading and editing and things. Hopefully all that will be up by the first week in July. Then I'll be away for a month, so I won't be able to post, but hopefully I'll finish writing it during that time, so it'll be all ready by the time I get back!
Audreidi: Like I explained above, I definitely plan to continue this 'til I'm finished! I hope you continue to think the changes I made work well for the story…I think they get a little more drastic as it goes on, but I'd love to hear what you think of them then, too!
Sue: Glad you think it's a good idea! And as for Han and Leia ending up together…well…now that would be spoiling the story, wouldn't it? If I told you, I mean. You'll just have to wait and see!
Chapter 2:
As Han Solo followed his best friend and lover into her Coruscant apartment and glanced around, he decided that it hadn't changed much in the five months he'd been away. From what he could see, the main room looked exactly the same. The group of lounge chairs and one sofa that were arranged around a low table facing the large viewport were still strewn with datacards. Another grouping of chairs faced a holo-projector, and a small table and two or three chairs were arranged behind them…and a datapad was blinking on the table. A few random articles of outerwear were hanging on the hooks right next to the door. In the adjoining room, the kitchen, Han could see that the simple auto-chef was impeccably clean, but the table had its share of datacards as well…
But Leia obviously wasn't as impressed with being back in her own apartment as he was. She was actually visibly sagging.
"Long day, huh, sweetheart?" he suggested, taking her shawl/cape and placing it on an unoccupied clothes-hook.
"You could call it that," Leia said, pushing the morning's events out of her mind. I'll deal with it later; I'll tell him later, was swiftly becoming her new motto.
"Well, don't worry about it- it's over," Han told her sagely, placing the plasti-box full of Alderaanian out-food on the table in front of the holo-projector.
"How about you go take a nice long whirl-bath and I'll get the food out, okay?" he suggested. Leia smiled and went over to put her arms around him.
"You know what's terrible, Han? You've just gotten back from a five-month mission (during which you were stuck on a crowded ship) today, and already you're taking care of me, when it should be the other way around."
"And that's why you love me, sweetheart," Han responded, putting down the containers of food to wrap his arms around her and reach down for a kiss, "besides, I've been sitting on my tail all day for all five months telling other people where and when and how to go about having all the fun and getting all the glory. I'm telling you, being a big Commander-in-charge guy isn't nearly as much fun as being the command-ee. Now go relax- I can feel bunches of stiff muscles all over you."
Leia smiled again and headed past her bedroom to the 'fresher unit. A few minutes later, she was settled in a steaming bath that included a special treat- real water! She had left the door open and she could hear Han puttering around, setting up the food. When she heard Threepio turning on as scheduled (he was programmed to turn on a half-hour before she usually got home) she winced. I bet Threepio was one thing Han didn't miss too much while he was gone.
"Oh, welcome back, Captain Solo," Threepio exclaimed upon entering the main room to find Han setting the table, "Princess Leia had not alerted me that you were to be arriving today. May I congratulate you on the success of your mission?"
"Go for it," Han answered in the usual sarcastic tones he now mostly reserved for Threepio.
"Hey, Threepio, is the holo-'jector still on the blink?" he asked a moment later, apparently finding use for the droid.
"No, sir, Artoo fixed it the last time he and Master Luke visited; I believe four standard weeks ago," Threepio told him, apparently thrilled to be of use to someone such as Captain Solo.
"Oh, great. Been a while since I've been able to tune into the Coruscant news- for all the comforts they stick in those star cruisers these days, they still haven't managed to get decent reception in hyperspace," Han commented, reaching over to turn on the holo-projector.
Engrossed in the comforts of her bath, Leia didn't notice. In the main room, their dinner was set out on the table, covered by Threepio so that it wouldn't cool. Looking up at the chrono on the 'fresher wall, Leia decided that it would really be rude to linger in this bath any longer…especially since, as far as her muscles were concerned, really relaxing might take the whole night. She had just stood up and dried off and was wrapping herself in a soffsilk robe when she heard Han's voice:
"Hey, Leia," he called in some strange tone she couldn't quite place.
"Yeah?" she called back, her chest constricting slightly as she moved into the doorway. She had a bad feeling about this…
"Big day, huh?" he said, repeating his earlier words.
She walked into the main room and gasped as she saw what the holo-projector was showing. It was the evening news, and they were devoting almost their entire session to covering the important diplomatic meeting between Princess Leia Organa, Councilor of the New Republic, and Prince Isolder, heir apparent to the throne of Hapes. At that particular moment, the last of the gift-bearers were leaving their offerings at her feet.
"Han, please don't- I was going to tell you-" Leia pleaded, not realizing that he hadn't even seen the worst part yet. Her stomach clenched as she glanced again at the projection and saw that Isolder was just beginning his approach. The holo-camera operators zoomed in some more to catch each and every emotion that flickered across her face- as well as the comeliness of the Hapan prince. Both Han and Leia stood in silence as the image switched to a different, later point in time, showing Leia arm in arm with Isolder, chatting amiably. I did a good job pretending to be carefree and happy when I was with him, Leia thought, watching her own face, maybe too good. She was brought back to the present problem by Han's tight, forceful nod. The air in the room between them suddenly seemed thick with…something, making it hard for her to breath. Or maybe it was the look on Han's face.
"Yeah, I can tell. And, uh, when were planning on telling me about this, again?" he demanded. His eyes were narrowed ever so slightly, and his cheeks were getting progressively redder. Leia remained silent for a moment. She'd always been able to come up with something to say when she was with government people or members of the alliance or even Imperial senators (never mind whether or not whatever she said had any truth to it- at least it almost always sounded good) but she'd never been able to do the same with Han, especially not since she'd admitted she loved him so long ago on Cloud City. The memory of that day brought tears back to her heart, if not quite to her face. Some of her emotions must have shown, because Han's face softened visibly.
"Okay," he sighed tiredly, "okay. I think we're both too tired to deal with a big argument right now. So how about we sit down and eat our dinner, and we can sort things out calmly and like civilized beings, okay?" he suggested in a quiet voice. Too quiet. He was obviously acting like this for her benefit. Out of love for you, you idiot, Leia scolded herself, he doesn't want to hurt you, so why don't you return him the courtesy! She nodded silently and they both moved towards the table.
Han served them both, and they began to eat. Han waited, not speaking, and not looking at her as he mechanically brought food to his mouth. Leia stared down at her plate as she chewed, gathering her wits and her courage and reminding herself: this is Han. Han. Finally, she looked up, and began her recital of the events of that morning, which now seemed so far away.
When she was finished, Han looked back down at his plate, "So basically, this guy is offering you lots of money if you'll marry him and go home with him and be the queen of his sixty-three luxury planets." He snorted bitterly.
"Sounds like a good deal to me," he finally said. Leia lifted her head and her eyes, suddenly, to look at him.
"Please say you didn't mean that, Han," she managed to whisper. Han shook his head ruefully.
"I don't know, sweetheart. He's rich, he's powerful, he can give the New Republic everything it needs to get on its feet, he's from a good family, he's a prince, on the news the just called his style 'reminiscent of the Princess' native Alderaan'…and, hell, he's even good-looking. I can see why you'd want to marry the guy- and why everyone else would be thrilled if you did," he finished in the same acrid tone. Leia couldn't decide whether to leap into his lap and kiss him for all she was worth, to make up for this whole incident, or slap him. She opted for the middle road.
"Han, how can you say that? After all we've been through, how can you believe I'd ever want to be with anyone other than you?" she asked in a quiet tone, "I love you. And only you."
"Yeah, well-" Han began to retort. Then he fell silent and looked into her eyes.
"Okay. Okay, you know what? I believe you. I can tell by the way you're looking at me that you're being honest- as honest as you can be. And I love you for it. If it was anyone but you, I'd say there were still some things to be explained. But we're both tired. So we'll worry about that later," he said in blunt but not harsh tones that didn't quite match his words. But Leia found that she agreed anyway. There was so much more to be said, but she was much too tired to deal with it now. So she simply got up and knelt by Han's chair, putting her head in his lap.
"Thank you, Han," she said quietly, pretending to be content with that resolution. And Han stroked her hair absently, doing the same. And both realized that they really weren't satisfied at all but that apparently neither was going to voice their sentiments.
Leia's last conscious thought before drifting off to sleep was: Whatever happened to us?
The next morning, as expected, the central comm-unit in Leia's apartment was blinking to signal that she had a waiting message. Even though she had been anticipating it, her stomach still clenched in apprehension when she read Mon Mothma's signal number on the screen. She tapped it to view the message, and her abdomen stiffened even more.
Urgent meeting in the Council Room at 0900. Your presence required.
What would she tell Han? She knew he'd been looking forward to spending the day together, even in light of last night's events. Maybe even especially because of them. She needed to show him that she loved him and him only, somehow. And what am I supposed to tell the Council? They're expecting me to do the right thing, all of them. How can I let them down when the help from the Hapans could mean so much? We could end the war, I bet, and bring peace to worlds that haven't known peace in decades. Why, there're even some children out there who have only known war, their whole lives. We could find a planet for the Alderaanian refugees. We could…we could…we could make everything well again for everyone. They all elected me Councilor…don't I owe it to them to do whatever I can to help them?
Her thoughts were interrupted by two familiar arms coming around her waist and an equally familiar set of lips planting a kiss on the back of her neck.
"Gods, Leia, normal people aren't even awake yet and you're already tenser than they'll be at the end of their day!" Han exclaimed, his breath tickling the back of her neck and making the little stray hairs there flutter slightly. Leia decided to be honest, and pointed at the commscreen.
"Here's why."
Han read it, his face falling progressively as he went.
"And you're going," he finally said. He meant it to be a question, but the fact that he already knew the answer prevented his voice from achieving the necessary inflection. As Leia turned around to face him, she could feel her heart sinking. He was mad. I knew it.
"I have to, Han. I'm a Councilor; I can't miss meetings in general, and this one's special anyway."
"Fine. No one's stopping you," he responded, his voice flat. And that's what I was afraid of, Leia answered silently, in her head. She nodded, trying not to let her disappointment show. I have to go, but, gods, he could have at least pretended to try to stop me.
Leia was the last one to arrive at the meeting, and the nine other Councilors, plus Mon Mothma, stopped talking to stare at her as she walked in. Taking a deep breath and hoping it didn't show, she quickly pasted what she hoped was a realistic smile on her face, and sat down. Apparently Mon Mothma was eager to get started.
"All right, now that we're all here: I think you all know what is to be the subject of this conference," she began, "I would like to offer you all the chance to comment on the Hapans' proposition, before we begin."
One of the newer Councilors, Borsk Fey'lya, tapped the button of his status indicator right away. The light by his section of the table blinked, indicating that he had something to say.
"Councilor Fey'lya," Mon Mothma acknowledged.
"Chief-of-State, my fellow Councilors," he began, by way of greeting, "I think I can speak for all of us when I say that I was astonished and amazed by the proposition made by the Hapan dignitaries yesterday. That a system usually so independent and resentful of intrusion as the Hapes Consortium would approach our humble government with an offer as beneficial to us and entangling to them is purely a miracle. And because of this, it is my opinion that we should take advantage of this situation as quickly and efficiently as possible."
He paused, to gauge the reaction of his fellow Councilors, before continuing. The mark of a true politician, thought Leia.
"I have here the financial summary of the past few months, which I would like everyone to observe." The Councilor pushed a datacard into the main port in the center of the table and everyone looked at the terminals in front of them. A table full of figures appeared on each screen.
"As you can all see, our expenses have far exceeded our revenues almost from the very birth of our government. My predictions for the coming months indicate that we will not be able to change this trend in the foreseeable future…unless something unexpected happens. My friends, this 'something' occurred yesterday, and now all it needs in order to practically guarantee our government financial stability is a little cooperation and dedication on our parts. If we accept the offer of the Hapan delegation, the New Republic can not only be out of debt almost instantly, but also put many of our plans towards previously unattainable goals, into action. And the person who can make all of this possible is our very own Councilor Organa." Councilor Fey'lya sat back in his chair, an expression of triumph on his face.
It's that simple, Leia agonized silently while the rest of the Council mulled over Councilor Fey'lya's characteristically excellent speech. I just have to say yes, and all of our problems are over. If only I didn't have to marry the guy and give up the rest of my life to do it…
"Thank you, Councilor Fey'lya," Mon Mothma said before looking around the table, "any other opinions?"
A M'thrakian Councilor Leia hadn't ever really talked to but who had a reputation as being a little on the overly-sympathetic side spoke up at that moment.
"That is all very well and good, Councilor Fey'lya, but doesn't your theory completely disregard the sacrifice that would be demanded of Councilor Organa?" the female alien asked, "It is obvious that this proposition would benefit the New Republic as a whole, but do we not pride ourselves upon caring for each and every citizen whenever possible? I do not think it is acceptable to simply assume that Councilor Organa should accept the Hapans' proposition and marry their prince. After all, this would have an effect on the rest of her life- she would be the ruler of a system of sixty-three planets, not to mention the fact that she would be married to a man that she has only met once or twice. And I think we all know that Councilor Organa is already…shall we say…involved, with another."
Most of the human councilors coughed politely into their hands at that statement while those of other species performed whatever their particular culture's indication of embarrassment was. Leia wasn't sure whether to glare at the Councilor from M'thrak for insinuating about her relationship with Han or thank her for understanding the terrible decision that lay before her.
"Excuse me, Councilor Mar'ak, but I do believe that your statement qualifies as pure speculation and gossip. I'm sure that, again, I speak for everyone when I beg you not to use methods of that kind as political arguments," Borsk told the M'thrakian councilor smoothly and cuttingly.
"It is not speculation! It is consideration for a fellow citizen of the New Republic who is being asked to make a sacrifice that no one should be forced to make!" Councilor Mar'ak protested, her voice rising.
"I am most sorry for dissolving your petty illusions of idealism, my dear Councilor, but I must bring to your attention the fact that this is a war, not a garden party. We have all made many sacrifices, and I do not think it would harm Councilor Organa to do her part. Even a Princess must be called upon to make sacrifices, on occasion," Fey'lya finished with an air of smug triumph, laced with faintly discernable irritation.
"Councilors, councilors!" Mon Mothma's serenely calm voice cut through the eruption of voices in debate that followed, "I believe the course we must take at this time is a middle ground. Councilor Fey'lya, Councilor Mar'ak, of course we must all make sacrifices and I do not think any of us, least of all Councilor Organa, should be reprimanded for lack of dedication."
From there, the discussion dissolved into a two-hour argument about the degree of sacrifice that should be expected from each citizen of the New Republic in response to the need of his or her fellow citizens. By the end of the session, it had little to do with the original topic, and nothing had been resolved.
Mon Mothma finally dismissed the Council, deciding that they would reconvene at the same time the next day; an answer must be given to the Hapans within a week, no later.
As the other Councilors filed out, talking quietly amongst themselves, Leia took her time folding up her datapad and collecting her datacards and other miscellaneous things. Finally, she and Mon Mothma were alone in the room.
"I'm sorry about the turn the meeting took today, Leia," Mon Mothma said, going to Leia's side to put a hand on her arm, "You shouldn't have had to go through that, for all Borsk's talk of sacrifices. We all know that you, of all people, have made every sacrifice demanded of you- and some that weren't- for the Alliance and the New Republic. You're a model to us all in the area of dedication."
Leia opened her mouth to thank her for her praise, combating it already in her mind. Maybe I did make sacrifices…but it's not like they had much effect…Alderaan…
"You mustn't be cross with Borsk, however, Leia. He means well. It's just that he can be a little…overzealous in his desire to see the New Republic progress, at times. Councilor Mar'ak was right, in some respects. It is your life, Leia. The decision is entirely yours. You must find the right balance between being dedicated to your people and being true to yourself. I know it is a difficult decision to make, Leia, but I have faith that you will make the right choice- you practically always do."
With that, Mon Mothma favored her with a smile, something one rarely saw from Mon Mothma, and left the room. Leia absently picked up her glass of vita-water from the table and took a sip, turning Mon Mothma's words over in her mind. Her aide walked in then and asked if she would like more water, breaking Leia's train of thought.
"No, thank you, Isa," she said, shaking her head and affecting a smile for the girl's benefit. If only all decisions were as simple as that.