Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews of the last chapter, everyone. I found them especially helpful because of my doubt as to that chapter's quality. I have a similar question about this one, but I'll put it at the end so as not to mess up your perspective or anything.
Pitdroid: I'm glad you think that the tone of the argument was appropriate! And about the end of the chapter…well, hang in there! That's all I'll say about that.
Princess Daisy: Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel, too. If I just had them get to together within the first chapter and make it all happily ever after, I wouldn't really have much of a story left, though. Anyway, I'm glad the chapter made you feel something about it!
Stormygurlz: Like I said to Princess Daisy, I'm glad the chapter made you feel something! And as for Han's lines, well, I sure enjoy writing them!
Liz: I know what you mean. But, again, I'm really glad that you have an opinion as to the situation in the story, because that has to be a good thing, right?
Mara look-a-like: Well, I know what you mean about Han and Leia being together, but I can't really say anything comforting (or not) without giving away the end of the story. May I suggest that you continue reading, though? Maybe that will help…
Clare: Thank you! I'm very glad you thought it was believable. I was really afraid it was starting to sound like some cheap soap opera…
Chapter 5:
Luke Skywalker stared at his holo-messenger's message display, trying to gather the bits and pieces of his wandering mind enough to process the information he saw there. The first message was from his sister. Bet I know what it says, too, he thought. Leia's messages always ran along the lines of 'I miss you. I'm worried about you. You should come visit us more often so that I would know you've had a proper meal. You need to stop moping around. Come visit soon. Love, Leia.'
He tapped the message's title on the screen to open it, just as a formality. And he was rather surprised to find that it had absolutely nothing to do with his lack of nutrition and proper sleep. Actually, for once, it asked for help instead of offering it. 'Hey, little brother. I need your help with something. Watched the HoloNet lately? Please come visit. I'll get Threepio to make you some Tatooinian specialties…if Tatooine even has specialties. See you soon, I hope. Love, Leia.' Well, the problem couldn't be too dire, could it? She had retained her sense of humor…but then again, he thought, he was dealing with Leia. He wasn't likely to find a tear-stained note from her anytime soon. Shrugging, he classified it as 'deal with it later' in his mind, and tapped the screen in the bottom right corner to move onto the next message.
This one required even more thought. (What is this, 'kill off Skywalker's brain cells' day? He wondered in annoyance.) The problem with this message was that it was written in another language. Having grown up on a backwater planet with a pair of moisture farmers, the only languages he spoke were Basic, Basic with slang, and some rudimentary bocce. This one didn't qualify as any of those. He squinted at the 'origin' box, trying to figure out how to pronounce the name it contained. Well, he'd never heard of it, in any case. Almost gleefully, he marked that one as 'let someone else deal with it' and tapped the 'next' button again.
It was a repeat of the same message. Only this time, it had a holo-projection attached. Figuring it was probably in the same indecipherable language and it might just be one of those one-view only things that some people sent just to piss you off, he decided that he'd better wait until he could get a recording device for it and maybe enlist Threepio's help.
The next five messages were advertisements for various things (the latest speeder model, a vibro-blade that could be concealed under one's skin, permanent make-up that was nevertheless removable, an new kind of auto-chef at a one-time only reduced price that happened to serve only Crustinian specialties, whatever that was, and finally an ad for the latest credit-bond drive that the New Republic was holding).
The last message was apparently addressed to someone named Luk (no last name) and had been sent to him by mistake. He deleted the last six, looked at Leia's one more time before replying that he'd be over to see her…soon, deleted it, too, and put the datapad on stand-by. He'd take care of those other two later. And he'd go see Leia tomorrow…or the next day. For now, he needed to meditate. Some more. He lowered himself cross-legged to the floor of the Coruscant apartment Leia had procured for him. She'd insisted that he take it; she'd gotten her choice of a complimentary apartment near the Imperial Palace, where the Council was temporarily meeting in the old Imperial Council of Moffs, and given it to Luke. She already had her own apartment in the old Alderaanian sector of Coruscant…at least, it had been the Alderaanian sector until the Empire had dissolved the Senate and all sane Alderaanians had decided it was a good time for a vacation.
No sooner had he brought his stress-level down a few notches (why am I always stressed these days? I don't even have something concrete to be stressed about…just wisps of nothing…but maybe that's the worst kind…oh, enough philosophizing, Skywalker) than the messenger pinged to let him know he had a new message. Sighing, he got up reluctantly and went over to turn the screen back on. It was from Leia. Go figure. He squinted, scrolling down, and blinked his eyes. Maybe he'd been wrong about the whole 'tear-stained note' thing.
'Hi, Luke,' it read, 'please come over as soon as possible. I'm even going to go so far as to admit that I need not only your help and advice, but maybe some Jedi-type help, too. Love always, Leia.'
Luke couldn't decide whether to be happy or annoyed. He leaned towards annoyed for a moment: now that she had gone and admitted that she needed help every once in a while (something he'd been urging her to do as a step towards acknowledging that the Force was a good ally to have), he figured he ought to reciprocate by visiting her as soon as he could, which he really didn't feel like doing. He was making so little progress in finding his true purpose and proper course of action as the last Jedi; he really didn't want to go have to deal with his sister's success right then. Although, it sounded like she had some sort of horrible problem she needed help with. Yeah, like what flower arrangement to…oh, shut up, Luke! Just because she knows what she's doing and you don't doesn't mean you can…oh, never mind. But still, he thought defensively, being a politician is at least following some sort of mold. Being the last Jedi…or first is just…but then, she's one of the first leaders of a brand new government…she still has something to follow, though…oh, whatever. How in the name of Tatooine's two suns does she expect me to help her straighten out her problems when I can't even figure out what mine are, let alone fix them! But then again, how often did Leia ask for help and admit that she could use the Force's help in her daily life? Not often. Better to take advantage of it while he could.
Leia blew a thin stream of air through her lips, collapsing back in her chair. Should I have done that? Am I really so desperate that I need to go running to my big brother? Or little brother…whichever. Part of her wanted to fix this whole thing up as soon as possible, have it over with, have things the way they used to be again. The rest of her, however, was itching to send Luke another message: 'everything's okay. False alarm. No big deal.' After all, that would have been easier than dealing with the truth. How had things gotten so bad? How had she gone from looking forward to Han's arrival to dreading the next time she would see him, all in less than a week? Although, I wasn't always looking forward to that day his mission got home. I was scared, too, remember? Psychic. I bet that's what it was- my subconscious was warning me that this wouldn't be a good thing. Or maybe it was the Force…oh, stars, I guess I do need Luke after all…
She got up and wandered restlessly around her apartment, the events since her last encounter with Han floating aimlessly through her head.
Last night, she'd been numb for hours, trying to think through what had occurred between her and Han. How could he ever have said something like that? He'd never deliberately hurt her before, not really. Sure, they'd had their share of arguments- even more, maybe. But the subject of Alderaan, used like that, had always been completely taboo, out-of-bounds-against-the-rules-not-allowed. He'd never used her past to hurt her, just like she'd never brought up his past activities to hurt him, except in a teasing sort of way…
Of course, I did make him pretty mad. Bail always said to see everything through everyone's eyes before making a decision. From his point of view, I guess everything seems clear: we love each other, therefore we have the right to be together, no matter what it costs everything else, even the causes we believe in. Little more complicated from my point of view…
The Council meeting that morning had just about resolved that point of view for her. Marrying Isolder would bring all the wealth of Hapes into the New Republic. The New Republic could then thrive, eradicating the Imperial remnants and bringing peace and harmony back to the galaxy. On a more personal scale, funds could be directed straight to the Alderaanian refugees. They could find a planet, rebuild their cities, their farms, their industries, their arts…and their lives.
Not to mention the fact that I could rebuild my life. Queen Mother of Hapes…that's not so different than Vicereine of Alderaan would've been. I would've ended up marrying some dignitary or other…having well-bred children just like me…making sure everything was just the way it was supposed to be. Isolder will give me back those dreams, that future.
She didn't admit that those had never really been dreams, just obligations. As the Council had slowly convinced her of these many things, her mind numbly agreeing, any dreams of a true prince of a different kind whisking her off in his ship and showing her true love and happily-ever-after faded away.
Leia shook her head, her thoughts coming back to the present. Almost all thoughts of real love and happily ever after had been banished from her mind, until a bit of flimsiplast caught her eye. She strode over to where it rested on the table, under the wilting bouquet Han had left her on the table on that seemingly long ago day when he had prepared the lunch they'd never eaten. Her hands shook when she recognized Han's scrawling hand, and tears came unexpected to her eyes when she saw the words.
Leia,
I know you're mad at me, and you have every right to hate me right now. I also know that I love you, and that you used to love me, at least. And I know we belong together. Unfortunately, I know I've hurt you more than I ever had any right or intention of doing, and I'm sorry, more than I can put into words. Anyway, I still think we belong together, and I'm off to prove that to you somehow- in your own words: no matter what the cost.
Yours,
Han
The door alarm chose that minute to announce a visitor with its melodic but repetitious signal. Leia dabbed gently at her eyes with cold hands, hoping to minimize any redness that might have resulted from her sudden tears.
"Master Luke," announced Threepio grandiosely. She nodded for Threepio to show him in, and tried one more time to make her eyes look normal. She needn't have bothered.
Luke ambled in and looked at her for a moment.
"Been crying?" he asked politely. A mild annoyance rose up and Leia shoved it back down. This is Luke, you idiot, and what's more, you asked him to come!
"Very discreet," she pointed out, "but…yes. Does it show that much?" Luke blushed faintly.
"Sorry," he apologized before answering her question, "nope, you look fine."
"Ah. The Force, then. Then I'm sure you can figure out what the problem is. Watched the 'Net at all lately?" she asked, shoving down her irritation that he could read her so easily along with her annoyance that he had said it out loud.
Luke shook his head, "too busy."
"Oh. Well, I guess you'd better, then. I'll have Isa get the recordings for the past few days from the archives. We keep archives of all of the media stuff that goes out so we have it to refer to if we ever need. I can't imagine why we'd ever need it in an official capacity, but…the nice thing is that, as a Councilor, I can borrow a copy of whatever any time I want to-" she noticed that she was babbling around the same time that Luke interrupted her.
"Leia. Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked gently. Leia nodded, but didn't have the energy to fake a smile, even an apologetic one.
"Right. It's a bit of a long story. Want to sit down?" Not even a crisis of this magnitude could completely immobilize her diplomatic/hostess skills. Then again, she hadn't really admitted it to be a crisis yet. But that's what Luke's here for…and she poured out the whole story, beginning when Mon Mothma had told her that she'd have to reception the Hapan Prince and finishing with:
"Oh, and Han left me a note saying pretty much the same thing as before. Only now he's gone off to 'prove' it or something," she said, taking a few violent swipes at her traitorous eyes, which were threatening to overflow again. Luke let out a low whistle.
"Wow. That's…wow, that's a hard one," he offered, trying to make some sense of what Leia had just told him. He looked at her quickly.
"Give me a minute. I can't solve your problem or anything, Leia- obviously only you can do that. But I can give you my opinion…once I've figured it out. Hold on a minute."
Leia nodded, "I'll go get some water, okay?"
Luke nodded absently, and she rose to disappear tactfully into the kitchen.
Luke settled back into the self-conforming chair she'd seated him in and stared blankly at the wall. Okay. Obviously, she and Han love each other. You'd think that in a galaxy with so much violence and badness and evil where real love is so rare that having love would automatically make it right to go with that love…but then, maybe the whole 'greatest good for the greatest number' thing comes in here. Being with Han would make her and Han happy…but being with Isolder would make him and a lot of other people happy. Damn. This is tough. He sighed. I guess it would be the right thing…no, maybe not. We still haven't figured out whether their love or her duty is the right thing. Well, I guess I know that it would probably be the dutiful thing to do, marrying Isolder. But I still wish she could be happy…
Leia reentered with two glasses of clear water.
"You know, Leia, I still can't see a clear path. Not from my point of view. But I'm sure there is one somewhere. I can't find it for you, though. I think you have to find it for yourself," he paused to look her square in the eyes. Her eyes were already icing over with the thought that he wasn't going to help her either.
"But I can help you find it…and so can the Force."
A small smile crept onto her face, like the first Criss flowers of spring. He hoped he could keep it there.
Additional Author's Notes: So my question is about Luke. I know that overall my writing of characters can't be that good, since I'm only an amateur, but I always feel that writing Luke is especially hard, for some reason. I don't feel that I really have a good grip on his personality, especially post-ROTJ. So how did you feel about him in this chapter? Any suggestions to make? On a side note, I'm going to be away until early August and won't have access to a computer during that time, so no updates until then. Sorry! I really hate putting in that sort of temporary note that will soon be irrelevant, but I didn't want you to think I'd abandoned the story or anything!