Forgive My Hesitation

Rating: M for language, violence

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing you recognize.. That should cover it properly.

Spoilers: From RAW, January 2nd.. A few on back and up to RAW, January 16th… just not like you might expect.

Eventual Pairings: Lita/John Cena, Stacy/Chris Masters, Lilian/Batista, Victoria/Tyson Tomko, Trish/Jeff, Candice/Not telling, Maria/Not Telling

Summary: When Lita takes a stand, she finds help from friends and from people that she never would have expected.

Notes: not much to add yet…here we go with RAW, all my way,…main event to be covered in the next chapter.

-x-x-x-

Regardless of the fact that she was now John Cena's manager, Lita arrived to the arena that night with Chris Masters. It had made more sense, in the redhead's mind anyway, since she had roomed with the young wrestler the previous night.. But that still didn't mean that she wouldn't be dealing with the newly crowned Champion during RAW….far from it. In addition to her own match that night, Lita suspected that Edge would be invoking his re-match clause or at the very least, would demand some sort of match against Cena. Last nights match aside, the redhead was looking forward to tonight since it meant her first night that she wouldn't be in Edge's corner, not having to do the blond man's dirty work. Thankfully for the diva, it also meant that she wouldn't have to be near Mark Henry.. And after what had happened last night where the big man was concerned, the last place Lita wanted to be was near a pissed off Mark Henry. But, she had all night to think about that…or at least until she read the card for RAW. And up until that point, all she knew was that she had a mixed tag match against Melina, Mercury and Nitro…she just didn't have partners for that match yet and she certainly didn't trust Bischoff to assign partners for her.. Which meant she had until the pre-show meeting to find two partners. She could ask Chris and Hunter or at least Chris since she really had no on-screen ties to the blond man. But, he had helped her when she needed him so maybe…frowning the redhead wondered if Bischoff would have final say over her choice of partners…shuddering at the thought of Bischoff handpicking her partners for tonight. Currently, the redhead was waiting for Chris to return from wherever it was he had gone off to.. The young wrestler hoping to find a copy of the card for that night or at least find someone who knew about the card for that night. But, the person who returned to the locker room hadn't been Chris, the diva finding that out when she opened the door a tiny bit, enough for her to look out into the hallway.

Lita raised an eyebrow, "you aren't Chris.."

John shrugged, stepping back a touch. "I'm aware of that.. Masters got a little held up."

The diva frowned, opening the door a little bit more. "So you're here because…?"

Cena arched an eyebrow, the title belt draped over his right shoulder. "You're actin' like I'm gonna hurt you or something. Which, I promise ya, I ain't gonna do something like that, alright?"

Lita bit her lower lip, hesitating before she opened the door fully. "Sorry, it's a habit I just.." Shaking her head, she stepped away from the door, "I don't know who I can trust anymore."

John shook his head, "ya know you can trust your brother , Orton, Masters, Benoit, Rey.. Prolly a bunch of other people as well."

"And you?" She questioned as she shut the door, seating herself on the table in the room. "I doubt that's a possibility right now."

"Then we work on that," Cena stated with a shrug, seating himself on the couch, "but that ain't why I'm here.. Chris asked me to come down here, let ya know what was going on for tonight."

The redhead nodded, "last I knew, I was supposed to be in a match against MNM.. And unless that's changed, I really don't know what I'm doing tonight."

Cena nodded in confirmation, "and from what he told me, that hasn't changed.. just that ya gotta find yourself partners for that match 'cos he overheard Bitchoff talking 'bout how he was gonna assign ya partners."

Lita rolled her eyes, "I can't say I'm too surprised about that.. I was thinking of asking Chris, possibly Hunter to team with me."

John smirked a bit, "ya can always ask me, ya know. We are kinda working together now."

"I know that, but I figured you'd have your hands full with that whiny little bastard that you beat last night." Shrugging, she continued: "otherwise, yes, you'd be an option."

"Well, there's also a possibility that your match could be moved to Smackdown," John sat back on the couch, hands bridging behind his head. "But, in order for that to happen, Melina's gonna interfere at some point during the main event or someone will interfere during your match."

Lita made a face, hopping down from the table to pace a bit. "That doesn't sound very promising… especially with those two goons at Bitchoff's side."

Cena nodded, "yeah well.. I'm just telling you what Chris told me.. I know that I gotta get to that office myself, figure out what's going down tonight wit' that piece of shit." Standing, he shouldered the title belt, "which means.. I'll see ya at the pre-show meeting."

The diva gave a small nod of acknowledgement, turning to dig into her bag for her ring gear and a fresh shirt, wanting to change before the meeting started…her back to the door just as John was leaving.

"What in the hell happened to your back?"

Lita froze, refusing to turn around since the shirt she had been wearing was now in her hands. "I really don't think this is time or place to talk about this."

John reached out to shut the door, setting the title belt on the couch. "I think now is as good a time as any.. 'cos if your back is all messed up like that? You really shouldn't be in the ring."

"It doesn't hurt," she informed him curtly, "and even if it did? That still wouldn't stop me, I've gone out to ringside--"

"All beat up an' shit?" John interrupted her, taking a few steps closer, "I kinda figured that much since your legs got bruises on 'em and you claim they don't hurt either."

Lita's squared her shoulders, "that's because they don't. they aren't fresh and neither are the marks on my back. None of it is fresh."

Cena frowned, taking another step so he could examine the marks. "Then when did it happen huh? 'Cos, from what I've heard, you've been rooming with Masters when ya ain't rooming wit' Victoria I doubt either one of them would hit ya, so--"

"Because I lied, because there were times that I could not get away from him." She set her hands on the table, "I know what he's capable of and I couldn't risk that for my friends. Sure, I know it's wrong keeping something like this from them, but I couldn't put them at risk.."

John let out a soft sigh at that, running a hand over his hair. "Then why didn't you tell your brother? We both know he's more than capable of kicking that little shit's ass."

Lita shook her head, "because it would've gotten worse." The diva sucked in a sharp breath, "that's how it started.. Because he thought I was getting help, because he thought I had asked for Chris to help me."

Blue eyes darkened with anger, Cena clenching his hands into fists, "what happened Saturday night…and don't tell me it was nothing, because I know it wasn't.. your shirt was ripped, it had blood on it and--"

"I already told you, he attacked me." Hazel eyes fluttered shut, "he hit me, shoved me into the wall…told me that no matter what I did, I wouldn't be able to get away from him."

Reaching around her, John took the shirt from her trembling hands, slipping the garment over her head before turning the diva to face him. "I don't care what he said because it ain't gonna happen, I won't let it happen--"

"You can't promise that, Cena."

"Maybe, maybe not.." He set his hands on her shoulders, "but that don't mean that I ain't gonna try.. And sure, I can't do a damn thing 'bout what's already been done, but I can get ya some payback." John frowned when Lita shook her head, "look.. Things are gonna be different…you're away from him, ya got your brother and your friends to help ya out, and you have me."

Lita sighed, "that still doesn't mean he won't come after me and--"

Cena hooked a finger under chin, "then he can come after you, because he ain't coming near you.. Lita, you have got to trust me on this. I won't hurt you and I won't let him hurt you."

-x-x-x-

When Lita said nothing, John was about ready to leave…hoping that Chris would return with some good news.. The WWE Champion stopped in his tracks when a pair of slim hands came up to clutch at the fabric of his shirt. And since he couldn't just leave her like that, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him while she let out the tears that had been threatening to spill. John couldn't help but wonder just what else was left…or how much of her story was left. From what she had just told him, he figured there was a lot more behind it.. A part of him didn't want to know, didn't want to have her relive the hell she had been put through but another part of him had to know.. And that was how Chris found them when he finally returned to the locker room, Dave and Randy not far behind…nearly causing the young wrestler to fall when Dave tried to rush past him. But, rather than try to extract his sister from Cena's grasp, Dave moved next to the pair, waiting until the blue eyed wrestler acknowledged his presence…Lita seeming to sense that her brother was there, a haunted look sent his way as she finally pulled back a little but did not let go of the WWE Champion. John shook his head when Dave sent him a questioning look, the West Newbury native leading the redhead over to the couch, letting her lean against him, the diva curling into his side as they sat down. Lita remained like that while Chris told the pair about what was going on tonight.. The match against Melina postponed until Smackdown with John taking on Edge and Henry in the main event. At the mention of Edge, Lita cringed, Cena holding her closer to him.. The confusion growing deeper on Dave's face…the man known as the Animal wanting to know just what in the hell was going on with his baby sister.

Chris cleared his throat, hoping it would alleviate some of the tension in the room. "The match for Smackdown will be a Divas tag match.. Melina is going to interfere during your match with Victoria tonight. The two of you are taking on Maria and Torrie... One of you will need to get hurt and that'll turn it into a three on three match, RAW vs. Smackdown."

Lita frowned, "why is there a need for someone to get hurt? Or are they targeting Maria now because she helped me? Who's next?"

Chris sent her a helpless look, "I don't really know Li, but.. I can damn well bet that Victoria won't let you get hurt. She may just take the spot herself, keep Maria out of harms way, you know? And all I'm telling you is what that little bitch, Bischoff, told me."

"I get that Chris, I just…maybe it would've been better if Maria didn't try to help me." Lita bit down on her lower lip, " then she wouldn't be caught up in the middle of this."

"Li, Maria helped you because she wanted to," Randy sent her a small smile, "that's all.. That's all that any of us want to do, we just want to help you."

Dave focused his attention on Cena, "to the best of my knowledge, you won't have to be there Friday, but.. If there's another Team match, he'll be around since he's still the team captain for RAW."

John nodded shortly, "then I'll be there.. Be on the safe side, make sure that asshole don't try to pull any of his usual shit."

Chris sent a look between Lita and John, "McMahon needs to see the two of you.. .go over your appearance schedule, wardrobe changes and the terms of the contract."

Lita blinked at that, "did he give you any details about that?"

The young wrestler shook his head, "he didn't but I did run into Stephanie…and she mentioned that she had advised her dad about putting a 'non-transfer' clause in the contract.. That way it can't be on the line again."

"Okay," the diva moved away from John's side, Dave assisting to her feet, her forehead furrowing at the look he was giving her. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No baby girl," he pressed a kiss to her temple, "I'm just worried about you.. The usual, overprotective big brother stuff that I'm supposed to be doing."

Lita gave him a small smile, "I just need time, D…figure everything out and then--"

Dave pulled her close to his form, "you take all the time you need, alright? Just don't forget, you're my baby sister and I love you. Nothing will ever change that."

After a moment, Lita pulled back…she and John exiting the locker room so they could speak with McMahon about whatever it was that they were needed for..

Chris sent a look between the now closed door and Dave, "has she talked to you about anything?"

Dave smiled wryly, "she hasn't told me shit.. But, she's always been like that. Whenever something or someone was bothering her, I was the last person to find out."

The young wrestler nodded, seating himself on the couch. "Vicki thinks she's keeping more from us than she lets on."

"I wouldn't put it past her," Randy stated with a shake of his head, "but it should change.. Now that she's not tied down to that walking piece of shit."

Dave cracked his knuckles, "well I'll say this much, once I find out everything? That miserable little bastard is in for the fight of his life." He cut a glance over to Masters, "in case Cena can't get out there.. I'm counting on you to help her tonight. Sure, Edge might not be directly behind it, but I won't take chances."

Victoria's Locker Room

Victoria barely had the time to blink as the door to her locker room was swung open, Lita storming inside shortly after. "Leet? What happened? Is there something wrong with the match?"

The redhead huffed, "I have no issues with the match…aside from the fact that someone has to get hurt during it."

"Then what's wrong…" Victoria crossed her arms over her chest, assessing her friends pacing behavior. "Because you look like you're about to rip someone's head off."

Lita opened her mouth to reply, only to shut it quickly when there was a knock at the door, Victoria just asking who it was before the door opened.

John Cena heading straight towards the redhead. "Ya know, our meeting wit' the Boss wasn't exactly over."

The redhead arched an eyebrow, "so? In case our dear old boss forgot, I do have a match…one that just so happens to be first on the freaking card."

"Excuse me--"

John rolled his eyes, "but that still don't mean ya can just up an' leave when we're in the middle of a meeting with McMahon.. He is the one who signs the paychecks so I doubt you'll be wanting to piss him off."

"Well with all of his not so bright ideas for this storyline, the stupid promo tour and the photo shoot he has planned?" Lita tossed her hair over her shoulder, arms crossing defiantly, "he can kiss my ass."

"The photo shoot and the appearance schedule ain't that bad and if you had let him explain some more about the storyline then--"

"And should I even get started about my ring gear?" Lita scowled, "it's no different than the usual slut gear I wore to ringside with Edge. Not to mention the fact that it doesn't match me at all--"

"Excuse me!" Victoria stomped her foot, sending a stern look between John and Lita. "Would one of you please tell me what's going on…and why the hell you," she arched an eyebrow at the champion, "are in the my locker room?"

John smirked, "she's mad because Vinnie Mac has us going every which where on a promotional tour, wants us to give up a weekend or whateva to go get some new studio shots done and--"

"He's changing my ring gear," Lita finished with a pout, "I get to go out there wearing a 'diva' version of his clothing."

Victoria let out a calming breath, "so you mean to tell me.. You're mad because of an appearance schedule and a wardrobe change? Li, I love you like a sister but please stop acting like a brat and get over it." Her gaze sliding over to Cena, she continued: "and you, please…get out. We have a match that we need to prepare for and we still need to meet with Maria and Torrie."

Once John had left the locker room, Victoria grabbed Lita by the wrist…taking the redhead to the locker room that had been assigned to Maria and Torrie so they could talk about the match.. And to get Lita's mind of her supposed problems.. Maria volunteering to take the spot before Torrie intervened. Granted, that really wasn't sitting well with either Lita or Victoria, but.. Torrie reasoned that they would both be needed more for the match on Friday.. The older blond woman also stating that she should start the match, just in case the interference came quick. Thankfully, they were also able to speak with Melina about the interference.. The Smackdown diva promising that it would just be herself, Mercury and Nitro. Before they went out to the staging area, however, Victoria pulled the redhead aside…firmly reminding her that even if she was turning face soon, that was no need for her to make a martyr out of herself during the match.

Divas Tag Match

Lita let out a shaky breath, squaring her shoulders as she and Victoria waited for Maria and Torrie to make their entrance. And while she hadn't been hit with the usual onslaught of boo's from the crowd, she could still hear them…and hear the slut chants that they loved so much. But, as soon as the thoughts entered her mind, the redhead did her best to clear them.. Forcing herself to concentrate on the match, and more importantly, on the interference for the match. Victoria sent her a brief look of concern as Maria and Torrie made their way down to the ring, both women hoping it wouldn't be a repeat of the incident with Three Minute Warning…but keeping the possibility in their minds none the less. And just as they had planned earlier, Victoria went after Torrie as soon as she had entered the ring, the blond woman just managing to pass Chloe off to one of the stagehands at ringside.. Victoria grabbing a handful of Torrie's hair, dragging her to the center of the ring before yanking her down harshly. Gloating over the woman's fallen form before grabbing her arm, tugging her roughly to her feet…the referee reprimanding the dark haired diva for her actions. From her spot, Lita could see Maria glancing to the stage, the younger diva obviously expecting for an attack to happen at any moment… and if Melina had planned on coming from that direction, then they would have been a little more prepared.. The redhead just managing to get the curse words out of her mouth as Melina came through the crowd, yanking Maria off the ring apron. Nitro was next to hit the ring, going after Torrie as Victoria stepped back, letting the man do the dirty work.. Lita hesitating for a moment before she hopped down from the ring apron, grabbing a steel chair from the corner.. Sliding into the ring with the chair, the redhead not quite convinced that this attack was over.

Unfortunately, her assessment couldn't have been further from the truth.. Mark Henry soon appearing at the top of the ramp, Daivari directing him towards the ring, with Edge not too far behind them. Throwing the previous game plan out of the window, Lita prepared herself for the inevitable attack.. Blinking in surprise as Chris and John came storming down the ramp after Henry.. The two men preventing Edge and Henry from getting to the ring and also giving the divas in the ring a chance to get out of there.. Victoria, Maria and Torrie doing just that while Melina, Mercury and Nitro exited the way they had come.. The trio slowed up a bit as Mercury had been on the receiving end of a low blow from Lita, the redhead rolling out of the ring once the ramp way was cleared of Henry and Edge.

Lita tossed an annoyed look at Cena, the trio pausing for a moment to play to the crowd before exiting through the curtains. "I thought I had asked you to not play hero."

John grinned, "we might've discussed it, but that don't really amount to much, does it? Come on now, if I don't really listen to authority.. What makes you think I'll listen to you?"

"Smart ass," the diva muttered under her breath, sending a look back to Chris, "I'm guessing that Dave asked you to come out.."

"You know how he is, Red." Chris draped an arm over her shoulders, "he also wants you to be safe out there during the main event. Sure, Henry and that piece of shit will be in the ring but--"

Rolling her eyes, Lita ducked out from under his arm. "I know and I won't--"

Edge sneered as the three approached, "well, well, well.. If it isn't the little slut and her two 'friends'. you got lucky tonight and it'll only be a matter of time until you're back at my side."

John squared his shoulders, the redhead currently standing behind him. "Listen you little bitch, your problem ain't with her, it's with me."

The blond man smirked, "I guess she's already offering you her special 'services' then, eh? That has to be the only--"

Cena shook out his fist, smirking as Edge clutched at the spot on his face that had just been punched. "Stay the fuck away from her, understand? She don't want you around and she certainly don't need your ass around."

Not giving the angered Canadian a chance to reply, John took Lita's hand in his, Chris sending the older man a hateful look before he joined the pair. Fortunately, they made it back to Chris' locker room without further incident, Dave and Randy coming in to check on the redhead and to lecture her about not interfering in the main event. Victoria also stopped by, reminding Lita about the no martyrdom rule in effect for the evening. And while Lita joked easily about it and promised that she wouldn't interfere unless it was absolutely necessary, she couldn't help but wonder as to what Edge had planned for the main event. Because she knew, where the blond man was concerned, it was no longer a matter of if he was going to pull another dirty trick…it was a matter of what. And with Henry already in the match, Lita didn't even want to know what could be waiting in the wings. Granted, she was starting to feel safe being around Cena, but that didn't mean that something could happen where John wouldn't be able to help her. And since the blue-eyed wrestler had made it apparent that he was helping her, and because of the change in contract, Lita knew that Edge would be relentless in his attacks. Still, the redhead tried to shake it off to paranoia, going with Victoria to use the shower in her locker room.. Cena tossing the modified jersey to the redhead before she could leave completely.