Relena
Parallel
She did not let her eyes wander from her lap. Maybe it wasn't polite, maybe she wasn't considering their feelings, maybe she should have never come at all. For the first time, Relena wondered why she had even been invited at all. It was selfish and petty of her, yet she couldn't stop thinking of the few tense moments before when she talked with them. Smiling, the small talk that she was so practiced at and the regretful, but final goodbyes.
If this was any other social function she would have been up on her feet, mingling between guests with a fixed, and steady smile of her face. There wouldn't be the heavy beat of the too loud rock music that seemed to be blaring everywhere. Usually, there would be classical piano, or if the host was particularly daring some obscure genre or ethic music. Relena could have nodded her head in beat with that, for a moment.
Food would be served on gold plated plates and engraved cutlery, crystal clear glasses that would be raised continiously in a toast or quietly sipped. The finest foods and drinks, all delicately prepared for politicians who would discuss the issues of the world, trivial and significant. Chips, a tray of donuts that had been quickly devoured, a poor try at a dip and BYOB array of drinks. Relena hadn't expected that. She had felt irrational anger at the casual way some people had dropped their drinks, or swiped some others. She should have known.
Her clothes were horribly out of place, Relena felt like a gawkish teenager at her first party. She had been to countless parties, meetings, banquets, entertained a horde of dignities and been subjected to an array of behaviours. Yet here, she felt most out of place.
She swallowed, willing her restless hands to stop fidgeting. She desperately wanted to leave, to go home, where she could have a shower to get rid of the intoxicating smoke that clung to her hair. The cheap alcohol, the perfumes and deodorant, and the people. Her eyes snapped upwards as a girl in red snapped a large pink bubble, a quicksilver tongue sweeping it back into her mouth, before resuming her rapid chewing with the same forced intensity.
Relena felt out of place, and terribly alone.
The war has happened, and Relena had willingly taken up a position to kept the peace, She hadn't been a victim, she hadn't been a soldier, she shouldn't have any reason to feel so... displaced. Relena had duties, had people depending on her and relying on her. She shouldn't be feeling this way. Lonely.
Her gaze flickered to her old friend, laughing and smiling, with a crowd of people happily surrounding her. She couldn't do that, she could talk politics for hours, the weather even, but when it came to the latest pop sensations, her taste was several years too old. Relena had ended her carefree teenage years when she was fifteen. She had been so naive.
But yet, she could not regret her decision. Her actions had saved lives, and that was what should be important, right? Relena didn't know. Only that the awkardness wouldn't leave her.
The others must feel the same. Heero must feel lost, desperate for some link to keep him steady. Relena smiled, real for the first time this evening. Maybe, even if had given up killing, he could still protect.