Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews and alerts everyone, I haven't stopped smiling! Soph, I think you're just about my most favourite reviewer ever! The timeline is Season 7, post Somalia, but before Jet Lagged, because that trip to Paris would be SO much more fun with this in the mix, and would explain their weirdness about telling the others they shared a bed. We'll say it's around episode 10 to tie in with the weather, seeing as that was the Christmas ep. After that I expect to go AU, I don't like CI-Ray very much, and don't see myself keeping canon with that, although jealous Tony could be fun... we'll see I guess!
As to the no strings attached thing, I don't think they can make it work as just that, they're definitely meant to be a couple, but I doubt their characters would outright just admit it and get together in a straightforward fashion.
Loving the reviews, seriously guys, keep it up!
Chapter Five - Back to Normal
They woke late in the afternoon, twined around each other. Ziva stirred first, lifting her head from Tony's chest to roll back onto the pillow. It was her groan when her aching body reminded her she'd slept through lunch and another dose of pain medication that brought Tony around.
"Morning." He smiled, dopey, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
"Afternoon actually Tony." Ziva motioned to the clock. He started at the time and sat up, running his hand through his hair.
"Wow, guess we needed that sleep hey?" He chuckled, remembering. Ziva rolled her eyes, her injuries had kept them relatively sedate, although by no means had they found it disappointing. "Wait... I slept. How did I sleep next to you? You snore like a freight train."
"Saleem, he..." Ziva delicately brushed the bridge of her nose. "I had to have it fixed. I could not breathe. The surgery also changed the way I sleep."
"I wouldn't have asked if I'd known it was that." Tony looked sheepish, aware it was a sensitive issue.
"I cannot hide these things forever Tony, and you seem to get them out of me more easily than anyone else." Ziva explained. "If I tell you, it is easier to talk about it more often."
"It was definitely easy enough to get you out of your clothes." Tony smirked, motioning to the rumpled pile on the floor.
"Indeed, but I expect the roads will be clearer now, I feel it is time I put on my own clothes and left you to it."
"C'mon Zi, once more for luck?" He rolled across the bed, stroking her shoulder gently, twining a loose curl around his fingers.
"No, I think perhaps we are becoming a little more comfortable than our arrangement allows." Ziva shook her head.
"If the roads are clear enough for you to go get your car, then they're clear enough for pizza delivery." Tony's stomach growled audibly, supporting his suggestion. "We'll both get dressed, and watch a movie. Maybe even call McGee and Abby over?"
"A movie night?" Ziva enquired, despite the fact she was shifting the energy toward platonic again, she did not bother covering herself to find her bag and a clean change of clothes. Tony laid back quietly, appreciating the view. "Honestly DiNozzo, did you ever leave adolescence?"
"You should be very much aware by now that I am all man." He caught the pillow she threw at him, returning it with equal force, only to see it bounce off the now closed bathroom door. Chuckling to himself, he went in search of his own clothes.
Ziva emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, and on finding the bedroom empty, went back to the living area. Tony was dressed as well, jeans and an OSU hoodie, she smiled at finding he'd put another glass of juice and more pain tablets on the table. He was loading the dishwasher, if they were going to have the rest of the team come by, the signs of breakfast for two needed to be gone.
"Thank you." Ziva took the medicine quickly, adding the empty glass to the dishwasher.
"Bit overdressed for a movie night aren't you?" Tony observed, taking in the straight cut work pants and cream blouse.
"It was all I had in my bag Tony." Ziva explained. "Unless you have something else?"
"No," Tony chuckled. "It's 3 now, we've got enough time to go get our cars and for you to go back to your apartment to change. Even with your driving you wouldn't beat McGee here, you should be later."
"That is a good point Tony." Ziva accepted the slice of toast he offered, the painkillers not meant to be taken on an empty stomach. "I will help you clean up here, then we will go." She gestured back to the bedroom with the messy wine-stained sheets.
"Sounds good," Tony agreed through his own piece of toast. They finished the dishes, distracted briefly when Tony flicked Ziva's rear with a tea towel, and she pinned him to the fridge, her fingers in a pressure point on his neck until he apologised. Further distractions ensued in the bedroom, when in the tangled linen, the underwear Ziva had shed the night before came to light, and another wrestling match took place as Tony cheekily queried if he could keep them as a trophy. Ziva was not so harsh as she had been in the kitchen, kissing him into submission, prying them from his hand when he relaxed. Eventually though, the apartment was clear of signs that Ziva had stayed the night, and donning overcoats the two agents made their way downstairs.
Much to their chagrin, the cab they found was the same as the night before, the driver wasting no time in pointing out with a lecherous grin that Ziva had apparently found somewhere to sleep after all. Tony had to spend much of the drive back to Ziva's car practically sitting on the fuming Israeli to keep her from attacking the crude man.
"Cool it ninja." He hissed as Ziva squirmed in her seat, when the driver glanced back at Tony and gave him another knowing wink.
"I am going to kill him." Ziva growled, trying to wriggle free from Tony's grip.
"Listen buddy." Tony hissed, leaning forward. "I hope you have a lot of vacation time built up, because if you say one more word, you're going to need it to recover. Capice?"
"Whatever." He sneered. "Just calling it like I see it, and the way I see it, you have me to thank for that pretty piece of ass back there." Ziva just about leapt from her seat, and Tony grabbed her around the waist.
"At least let him pull over so he doesn't kill us too." He hauled Ziva backward onto his lap. For someone who was shorter and lighter than him the effort needed to hold her back was surprising.
"Pull over here." He directed to the driver, still struggling to keep the brunette ball of fury contained in his lap. "Don't even think about the fare." He spat, heaving Ziva out of the cab, following quickly to restrain her again. Another string of curses flew from Ziva's mouth in Hebrew, as Tony grabbed her elbow, firmly escorting her away from the cab. By the time he'd got her several yards away, the profanities stopped, but she was still seething.
"Chill ninja. I've got his cab number, the LEOs will be happy to check out those bald tires on Monday. I'll put a BOLO on him." Tony spun her to face him, putting a steadying hand on each shoulder.
"I am NOT just some 'pretty piece of ass'" Ziva fumed. "I will find him and when I do..."
"No, you're a kickass ninja assassin who could ruin his driving career forever, and yours in the process. He's a smart mouthed, rude, uneducated chauvinist pig. He's not worth it." Tony risked a hug, whispering in her ear, "At least I'm educated though right?" Ziva rewarded him with a small chuckle, pushing him away.
"We will walk to my car and I will drive you to the base for yours. Yes?" Her eyes were warmer as they turned to cover the last few blocks to her car.
"Sounds like a plan." Tony agreed amicably. They made a few more plans as they went, Ziva agreeing to bring beer, if only to stop Tony's playful griping that she still owed him a drink.
"I will see you around 7. What are you doing?" Ziva pulled to the kerb a little away from NCIS, the CCTV cameras in the car park would not work in their favour.
"Texting you too." Tony explained, he'd just texted Abby and McGee to come for movies, with instructions for Abby to convince Gibbs to come too after Ziva pointed out it was likely he'd spent the night in his basement, the only nutrition he'd had since a bite of Tony's sandwich at lunch on Friday being bourbon from a jar. "Just in case." He winked conspiratorially as Ziva's phone beeped. Ziva shook her head with a smile.
"I will see you at 7 - yes?"
"Yeah, catchya David." Tony leaned across, a fleeting brush of his lips to her cheek and bounced out of the car. Ziva smiled and shook her head again, before heading home to change.
When Ziva returned to Tony's apartment, more suitably dressed for a night on the sofa watching movies, beer in hand, she could already hear bickering coming from inside, apparently Tim had arrived. She paused at the door, listening to them squabbling about the merits of comics versus movies, taking a second to collect her thoughts.
"You gonna stand there all night David?" A low voice behind her made her jump.
"Gibbs!" She spun around, face to face with none other.
"Who'd ya think it was?" He regarded her with an amused face.
"I did not expect you to be here," She explained, "It is good to see you."
"Can't say no to Abs." Gibbs smirked by way of explanation. "How you holding up?"
"You know how it is. It will heal. Hurts like a witch until it does." She did feel better, having found enough time for another quick shower at home, the hot water alleviating much of the ache, and more arnica on the areas she could reach. Behind the closed door, the carry on between Tony and Tim increased a few more decibels, Tony having moved from debating to an insult. Gibbs tested the door gently, it was unlocked, he put his finger to his lips, motioning to Ziva to get down. She nodded, slipping off her bag and placing the beer down silently. Seeing Abby come up the hall, Ziva gave her a signal to stay quiet too. The bubbly goth cocked her head, evaluating the situation quickly and whipped out her cellphone.
"This is gonna be good," She murmured, getting in prime video position. Gibbs and Ziva crouched ready, having no weapons, Ziva had her phone in hand too.
"Federal Agents - freeze!" Gibbs bellowed bursting into the apartment, he'd loosened the door without being heard, so his shoulder had it flung open easily.
"Drop your weapon!" Ziva was close behind. Tim did just that, dropping the DVD case he held, freezing with his back to the door, hands in the air. Tony performed what could only be described as a feline maneuver, leaping to the back of the sofa, assuming a defensive crouch, remote pointed at the door. His eyes focused on the intruders a second later and lost his balance in shock, toppling over, bouncing onto the cushions and taking out McGee as he crashed to the rug. Ziva lost it then, laughing heartily. Abby cracked up a second later, and even Gibbs could be heard chuckling softly.
Finally it seemed the two men on the rug realised they'd been had and began to untangle themselves from each other. Tim stepped on Tony's hand as he scrambled to his feet, with a sheepish "Hi Boss."
"Nice one McBowling Pin." Tony griped, standing up, nursing his hand. Ziva had doubled over in spasms of laughter, even though they hurt her back. Abby was grinning from ear to ear, still filming, Gibbs had nonchalantly gone and helped himself to the kitchen, putting on a pot of coffee.
"Can't leave you two unattended for a minute." Gibbs commented. "Try to act your age DiNozzo."
"On it Boss." Tony grumbled, still not seeing the funny side, glaring at Ziva who'd half sat, half fallen on the couch.
"And McGee, don't encourage him." Gibbs added. Abby entered the room properly, with Ziva's belongings, and bounced around from person to person for her customary greeting hugs.
"Stop pouting Timmy." She wrapped her arms around him. "It was pretty funny." She moved to Ziva who'd slumped back, taking deep breaths to steady her laughter. Taking Ziva's hands to haul her up for a hug, Abby felt the older woman still trembling with silent mirth. It was too much, the two dark haired women collapsed on the couch again in a pile of hysterical giggling. Tony hid a smile, it was most un-Ziva to be rendered helpless by laughter, practically sitting in Abby's lap as they giggled uncontrollably. He figured, with a mental pat on the shoulder, their activities earlier in the day had done her good.
"Did you see the way Tony...?" Abby trailed off in a fresh burst of laughter, Ziva following suit.
"Ok Abs, can it." Gibbs instructed, returning to the lounge, a cup of coffee steaming in his hand. "You too David. We got 'em good, but joke's over."
"Some joke." Tim grumbled, sinking into the other end of the sofa. Abby and Ziva desperately tried to straighten their faces.
"Just for that I'm picking the movies." Tony announced, regaining some grace as he sprang over the back of the recliner, landing and extending the footrest simultaneously
"Like hell DiNozzo." The first words Ziva had uttered to him all night, their eyes met, he could read her and knew she was picking the fight for the sake of normalcy between them. "We are not going to be subjected to one of your action movies."
"Excuse me David? You don't expect us to watch some sappy chick flick do you?" He bit back, accepting the challenge.
"Well why do you have them if you do not watch them?" Ziva stood up, heading toward a shelf of DVDs, preparing to reel off some titles. Tony jumped beside her, the two agents staring each other down.
"Knock it off." A slap to the back of both their heads had their foreheads bumping in the middle, Gibbs had taken advantage of their close proximity, although lightly, aware both were still recovering from the case. "Tony sit down, Tim, Ziva you're on the sofa, Abby go get some pillows. I'm ordering the pizza. Any more acting like kids and I'll head slap you all - got it?"
"Yes Boss." Four voices responded in unison. Gibbs sighed as he separated the team to keep the worst behaved couples apart. Tony and Ziva shared a quiet smirk, Mission No Strings Attracted seemed to be going well.