Peach and Jigglypuff, Kisser Bandits

(by tikitikirevenge)

Disclaimer: The disclaimer of the story below this is probably funnier. Read that one instead.

1

It began with Mario sitting in a room in the Smash Mansion, sipping a cappuccino.

"Life is-a wonderful," he said, looking out the window at the sunny sky.

"Yes," said Bowser. "No doubt about it."

Mario and Bowser had, of course, had their differences in the past, but they were amiable acquaintances, to put it mildly, and Master Hand's Smash Tournaments gave them a great excuse to relax.

"It's a pity Luigi can't be here to share this lovely day with-a us," said Mario. "Now that all of the practice rounds for the Smash Tournament are-a over, we have a chance to relax-a."

"Yep," said Bowser. "Pity, really."

"If only he hadn't fallen down the stairs yesterday," said Mario.

"Yep," said Bowser, more slowly this time. "Fallen."

"I do-a hope that he is okay," sighed Mario.

"Of course," said Bowser. "It's a bad thing that he only broke an arm…"

Mario took another sip of his coffee.

"He says someone pushed him," added Mario.

"Really?" said Bowser, in a slightly higher voice. "How… quaint."

Mario looked at Bowser, puzzled.

"Be right back!" said Bowser, dashing out of the room.

"What?" said Mario, standing up.

Bowser, being out of the room and of earshot, didn't hear him.

Dejected, Mario sat again, and downed the rest of his coffee with a single gulp. "Mmm," he said, "there-a is-a no such coffee that-a is-a at its forte as much-a as the cappuccino-a!"

The coffee cup refused to listen.

Peach walked into the room carrying Jigglypuff. Both were wearing cardboard party masks.

"Hi, there, Peach and Jigglypuff," said Mario. "What do you two-a want?"

Peach kissed Mario, and then slapped him with a sardine.

"What the-?" said Mario.

"Kisser Bandits strike again!" cheered Peach, doing a little dance.

"Iggly jiwig jujip ipug!" added Jigglypuff, clapping.

Mario stared blankly at Peach and Jigglypuff.

"Get it?" giggled Peach.

"No," said Mario, eyeing her strangely. "'Kisser Bandits'? 'Again'?"

"Uh…" said Peach. "Jigglypuff! Backup plan!"

Jigglypuff pulled a lemon pie out from Peach's hair and thrust it into Mario's face.

"My-a face!" cried Mario.

"Kisser Bandits strike again!" cheered Peach. She jumped around excitedly.

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