Disclaimer: Don't own Power Rangers. Don't own House. I do have a hat, though.

Author's note: Wow, people like this. Thanks for the cake, guys.

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The Yellow Ranger, dejectedly, decided to shop somewhere else besides Wal-mart. The employees there had politely asked for her to leave after she had asked many people there in which section she could find an elephant. They believed her mentally damaged. She insisted that, no, she was a doctor this was really important can they help her? and that was when they got tired of being polite and called security, leaving her with a hatred of Wal-Mart that faded quickly because the Yellow Ranger can't hate people easily, unlike the Red Ranger.

Shopko was the next best option. This time she decided to not ask people where they shelved the large mammals and instead opted for looking for herself. When there, she picked up the other things she needed, pushing her heavily-laden cart around the store.

Where to find an elephant? Maybe House didn't want a real elephant, it occurred to her suddenly because sometimes she's a bit slow on the uptake. (Not the brightest Brady in the Bunch.) In that case, Cameron headed toward the toy section and chose a fluffy pink sparkly one that, when standing up, reached her knees. In addition, when its ear was squeezed, it said things like, "I love you" and "you're my best friend". Even if she wondered if pink fluffy sparkly elephants could feel love and have best friends or even why a elephant would need a best friend or who would want to squeeze an elephant's ear in the first place, this was good enough.

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Mhmm. Beer.

The Green Ranger was on his what-number-is-this drink when his phone rang. He ignored it. But the buzzing persisted. By this rather annoying trait he knew it was House.

He answered the cell phone, "Green Ranger reporting," rather drunkenly.

"Have you the walkie talkies?" House's voice rang out over the phone very loudly.

"Yup."

"Where are you, then?"

He decided it was no use trying to lie. "Drinking."

"Admittedly, I would love to join you but you really need to come back."

"Why's that?"

"1. We need the walkie talkies. 2. We're locked in."

"Locked in where?"

"Our base."

"The empty storage room?"

"The base."

"Empty storage room."

"Base."

"Empty room!"

"Base!"

On House's end, someone shouted, "stop that!" Foreman guessed, rather accurately, that it was Wilson sounding quite impatient.

"Why can't Chase get you out? He's there. He's pink."

"Chase...locked us in."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you if you get us out."

"Why can't you call Cameron?"

"Won't answer her cell. Probably got distracted by something shiny."

"Mhmm. Can't you call anyone else?"

"You just don't want to stop drinking. Either get over here and get us out or I'll make you the Pink Ranger."

"You can't do that."

"I'm the Red Ranger. I so can.

"Can not."

"Can to."

"Can not."

"Can to."

"Can not."

"Can to."

Again Wilson yelled, "Quit!" and House did, telling Foreman, "Get here quickly, or you'll be the new Chase," before hanging up.

Foreman cursed before paying for his drinks and leaving.

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The Pink Ranger hated his job.

Especially when it included nurses.

Nurses were annoying. Not good enough to be doctors, not wimpy enough to be secretaries.

To get the image of nurses, think of high school. Think of the tiring group of girls who giggled too much, thought too little, and always had the major gossip. Nurses.

"Oh Dr. Chase you have such lovely hair."

"What kind of conditioner do you use?"

"Are you a cross dresser?"

"You'd make a great cross dresser."

"You have a perfect waist for a skirt!"

"With some mascara and a little bush and eye shadow, no one would know you were a boy!"

"Although you do make a handsome boy."

"But that Dr. Wilson..."

Here they all sighed like schoolgirls.

All Chase had learned from hanging around the nurses, all the while acting charming and putting up with their giggling and snide remarks about thefemale doctors, ("can you believe Dr. Tambrence wears her hair like that? ugh, so eighties!" "and that Dr. Cooper has no idea what age cream is, does she?" although Chase noted no one spoke ill of Cuddy which he thought was a rather good idea.) and crushes on the male doctors, ("Dr.Wilson!" most often and sometimes, "House!") was that: a) Doctor Wilson was a heartthrob in a polite, nice, handsome way. b) Dr. House was a heartthrob in a gruff, mean, and suffering sort of way. c) Dr. Cameron should wear her hair down more often. d)Dr. Foreman was the ethnic heartthrob. e) Dr. Cuddy devoted herself too much to her work, and what's with the male secretary. f) Dr. Chase would make a wonderful cross dresser. g) The hats are cute on Dr. House and Dr. Wilson, it looks gangsta on Dr. Foreman, and Dr. Cameron would do best to not seem so giddy about the hat, it's just a hat for God's sake.

Most of these Chase did not care to know, and although he knew they would amuse House, he didn't feel like telling his boss. He did, however, and then House responded with 'that's not good enough' and 'you need to go undercover, then' and 'go put on a skirt and a nurses outfit and truly infiltrate their masses'. To which Chase did a very smart but very dangerous thing: he locked Wilson and House in the 'base' in a fit of anger and dashed down to the cafeteria.

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The Blue Ranger had tired of standing and had now sat down beside a few boxes. Even if they'd only been in there maybe an hour, he had still beaten out the Red Ranger in the standing up contest, as House gave up after about five minutes and now sat with his back against the wall, humming. Not like beating him in a standing up contest would be a hard thing to do, mind.

"I still don't get your plan." Wilson remarked, moving the boxes around, bored because being locked in a storage room is no fun even if there are boxes.

"Well," House tapped his can atop a box. The box whined. Wilson yawned and House continued, "It's very complicated."

"I can see that."

"And it involves paperclips."

"What a MacGyver."

"And potatoes."

"We're not in Idaho."

"An elephant, too."

"You're crossing Ranger boundaries, here, House."

"Mhmm. We're a new breed of Power Ranger. The best yet. Know why we're the best?"

"...we're...smart?"

"No. We are smart, but that's not it."

"...doctors?"

"Close."

"...we have a male Pink Ranger?"

"You're getting warmer..."

"A limping, postal, druggie Red Ranger?"

"I'm not a mailman!"

"Postal as in crazy."

"Then you've got it! You have the most genius Red Ranger ever. In fact, probably the best Ranger period."

"Therefore by association I must be the best Blue Ranger."

"I was just getting there."

"I do think there have been better Pink Rangers then ours."

"It is Chase. The only thing he's good at is having nice hair."

"...excuse me?"

"But you have better hair."

"Thank you. That's why I'm the Blue Ranger."

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A gaggle of nurses stood huddled together on the 4th floor, whispering and snickering. Queen Bansheera advanced upon her minions, stomping angrily.

"Don't you have JOBS?" She shrieked at them, and they squealed, scattering.

"Find HOUSE! AND HIS DAMN TEAM!" Cuddy yelled as they ran as fast away as they could from the super-angry, super-determined Queen of Evil. Well, wouldn't you?

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The Yellow Ranger was faced with the difficult task of getting to the third floor of the hospital, carrying bags of food and odd items and a stuffed elephant without being seen by Queen Bansheera or any of the minions.

She had parked her car outside of the hospital, wondering what to do and well aware that the ice cream in the trunk of her car had most likely melted by now. This saddened her slightly, because now the Red Ranger was going to yell at her.

The Green Ranger pulled up sharply in his car next to her, waving happily and grinning.

Cameron frowned. He must be drunk, she thought.

To further prove this point, Foreman drove his vehicle too close to the parking-stopper thing and bumped into it, laughing.

Then he hopped out, carrying a plastic bag, and made his way to her car.

"Hello, fellow Ranger. Accompany me on a quest to the base of operations?" He asked, slurring his words slightly, and Cameron's frown deepened before she nodded in desperation, wanting any help she could get. Even from a drunk like Foreman.

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All the Pink Ranger was doing was enjoying a piece of cake with his hat pulled low over his face so the evil Queen Bansheera wouldn't find him.

The nurses, however, managed to find him and surrounded him like raptors, telling Chase with their high-pitched voices, "That cake won't be good for your figure!"

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AN: Ahh! REVIEW.

OR DIE.

Just kidding.

Gosh. I need, yes, cake. Or chocolate. Mhmm. Muffins. Chocolatecakemuffins..