Disclaimer: I own House and Power Rangers, mwahahah...not really.
Author's Note: Short chapter, I think, but thanks to all my lovely reviewers and such, blah blah blah. By the way, I have a picture of Hugh Laurie hanging on my wall.
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"So bored."
"Well, we are locked in a storage room."
"It's the base."
"Sorry. The base...with burned out lights."
"It's for...the effect."
"And boxes."
"To store things in, of course."
"They're empty."
"When we get stuff."
"When the Yellow Ranger comes back."
"If the Yellow Ranger comes back."
"Have faith, Red Ranger."
"It's a bit difficult."
"She's more trustworthy then the Pink Ranger."
"Hmm. Where is he?"
"Flirting with nurses? Joining Cuddy's side? Telling on you? Eating? Running away? Quitting? Becoming an astronaut just to go into space because it's as far away as you from possible?"
"You've thought about this a lot, haven't you, Blue Ranger?"
"I always say it's good to have back up plans."
...
"Damn."
"What?"
"It's dark in here."
"There's no light."
"Ergo, the darkness."
"Did we tell Cameron to get flashlights?"
"...damn. No."
"Or spoons, I suppose."
"Why would we need spoons?"
"Ice cream."
"We don't have ice cream."
"Yes, but you told her to get some."
"No, you did."
"No, you did."
"You did."
"You did."
"No, you did."
"Stop it!"
"Stop what?"
"That."
"What?"
"THIS!"
"Oh, okay then."
"When's Foreman coming to get us out?"
"He's probably still at that bar, drinking...stealing cars...doing some drugs..."
"You have no trust in your employees."
"I'm not supposed to."
"Yes, isn't that the House philosophy?"
"God, no. It's 'everybody lies'."
"Mhmm..."
"Are you falling asleep?"
"...nnmm...no..."
"Wilson!"
"...nnghh...stop hitting me with your cane!...ghhf."
"You were falling asleep!"
"...still...am...mmmhh..."
"...Mission status: Yellow Ranger presumed lost, Green Ranger drunk, Pink Ranger also presumed lost and maybe going over to the dark side, Blue Ranger is unconscious, and the Red Ranger is pissed off."
"...gghhhmm..."
"We're not very good Power Rangers, I think."
"...fnnamh..."
"Thanks for the support."
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"Hold these." Cameron shoved bags of items into Foreman's arm and then turned back to the trunk of car, taking a few bags herself and one pink elephant.
"What's that for?" Foreman asked, looking over the mountain of plastic bags in his arms at the pink stuffed elephant, which started talking, "marry me!"
This stunned both of them for a minute. "And why does it want to marry me?"
"I have no idea." Cameron replied and then slammed the trunk of her car closed.
Cameron and Foreman turned to the doors of the hospital, facing the challenge ahead of them with faltering bravery and drunken stupidity, respectively.
It was getting rather late. The sun begun to set at they made their way through the doors.
"I don't know how we're going to--" Cameron began to say nervously, pausing inside, but Foreman started to walk straight across the lobby, which was very crowded even at this time of the day, to the elevators.
"No, not the elevator!" Cameron hissed, rushing forward and dragging him to wall.
"Why not?"
"Because they'll find us there." Cameron walked against the wall over to the stairwell, Foreman following and saying, "You sound like House."
The name itself seemed to send everyone who worked there on high alert. The secretary looked around suspiciously, the nurses giggled and huddled together, and the patients ran away screaming bloody murder.
In the stairwell, Cameron realized that although a drunken Foreman was a much more agreeable Foreman, a drunken Foreman was also a loud, uncoordinated, and emotional Foreman.
From the first floor the second floor, Foreman dropped two bags of food and stuff, and shouted his apologies to Cameron so loud that people poked their heads inside from the doors and inquired of the okayness, which Cameron was obliged to assure them of and reassure them they were, in fact, okay, even when Foreman yelled it was his fault so sorry.
From the second to the third floor was when things heated up. Uhm, not that way. A nurse came down the stairs, looking incredibly alert and perky, for which Cameron, tired and her hair a mess, cursed her. Cameron, being sober, knew that the nurses were on Cuddy's side and would recognize Cameron and Foreman and tell on them and then House would get mad and so on and so forth. So Cameron bumped into Foreman, causing bags to tumble from his arms and him to cry out, "WHY, GOD?" and they both bent over picking things up while the nurse walked by, muttering something about crack addicted lunatics and oh dear look at that girl's hair.
Cameron sighed with relief when the nurse was gone, but Foreman sobbed, angry with himself for dropping the bags again.
"How many drinks did you have?" asked Cameron, exasperated.
"Two!" He said, and then, suddenly, stood back up with the bags in his arms, and went back to walking up the stairs.
Cameron had a huge and undoubtedly true suspicion that Foreman had more then two drinks.
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"I'm not going to wear a skirt again!" The Pink Ranger shouted at a nurse after 10 minutes of her telling him that he should wear a skirt, and she recoiled, flinching.
Chase blushed bright red, not because of the nurse, but because everyone else in the room stared unblinkingly.
A man nearby said, "You've wore one before?" in a very Foreman or House way. The man raised an eyebrow and smirked.
Chase blushed brighter. He quickly left the cafeteria and headed towards the nearest doctor's lounge.
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Queen Bansheera breathed fire at her minions and then stabbed a fork into her desk.
Okay, not really. She screamed at her secretary and tossed a pencil across the room.
Close enough.
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"Uhm, hey did I mention House and Wilson are in the closet? Locked in?" The Green Ranger slurred hurriedly as they reached the third floor door.
"Closet?" Cameron inquired, because it soundly vaguely homosexual but nothing she wouldn't put past the two.
"Er, storage room. That's right."
"Locked in?"
"Is there an echo?"
"How'd they get locked in?"
"Chase locked them in.
"Good for him."
"I don't know why."
"Oh."
Cameron pushed open the door and asked, glancing at the lobby and the people loitering about, probably some of them spies for Cuddy, "What's our plan of action?"
"Run like hell."
"I'm game."
And that's what they did.
Amazingly, nothing falling from their bags during this dash to the 'base'. The base was located in an off-to-the-side hallway that nobody but doctors pretending to be Power Rangers came to.
Luckily and oddly enough, the only people to notice them were patients. The patients stared and murmured amongst themselves and wondered if those lunatics were doctors and what was with that elephant?
Cameron skidded gracefully to a halt in front of the door to the base. Foreman stumbled and fell on his back, laughing wildly.
"How to unlock the door?" She muttered to herself while Foreman picked himself and the items up off the ground.
She set down the elephant and fiddled with the door knob.
Oh, it was a just lock-from-the-outside kind of doorknob. She unlocked it, placing the elephant back in her arms, and pushed open the door, hearing a grunt of, "What the hell?"
She poked her head in, interested, "Hello? House, Wilson, anyone alive?" and then entered completely, saying with her sing-song voice, "I'm back… with an elephant!"
Foreman followed quickly, commenting, "Ha, Chase locked you out!"
With the small light coming from the door, Cameron could see that House was sitting up against the wall, hitting a box back and forth with his cane. Wilson was laying on his side on the floor, apparently sleeping due to his random sounds, "…ngmmh..." with his tie off and his shoes across the room.
House had taken his shoes off, too, and Cameron could see his socks did not match, one red, one black.
"Look it's my Ranger Rescue team!" House exclaimed, sitting up straighter. "Nice to see you've arrived, finally."
At this point, Cameron pulled a box out one of the bags with the uncanny woman ability to grab just the right thing she needed. She opened the box and displayed a yellow flashflight happily before turning it on and shutting the door.
"Wow." House stared. "Light. Pretty. Ooh."
Cameron laughed, and tossed him another flashlight from another box she took from another bag.
"I didn't even tell you to get flashlights." House said, taking his flashlight, a red one, and clicking it on, flooding the room with light.
"Sorry, I just thought—" Cameron frowned.
"No, it's good…spoons?" He asked hopefully.
"Spoons?" Cameron took a bag and tossed him a box of plastic spoons from it.
"Amazing." House admired. "You are a better Ranger then Chase."
Cameron smiled proudly.
"It's not that hard, don't get so excited." He assured her, and then looked at Foreman, who seemed to get a good idea from Wilson and had lay on the floor and fallen asleep.
"How many drinks did he have?" House asked, then began rummaging through the bags, against Cameron's offerings of 'let me help'.
House tossed the bag of Cheetos at the Wilson, saying loudly, "Get up, Sleeping Beauty, there's food and ice cream."
Wilson shifted and then mumbled something.
"Yes, spoons." House opened the thing of ice cream and the spoons and began eating the almost-melted ice cream. He chucked a spoon at Wilson, who fidgeted and sat up drowsily, staring at the spoon.
"Spoon." He stated, as if to make sure of himself and then nodded and moved over to House and also started digging into the ice cream.
Cameron looked on sadly until House also chucked a spoon at her and she helped them eat the tub of ice cream.
"So, why'd Chase lock you in?" She asked.
"We tried to tell him to put on a skirt to infiltrate the other side." House explained.
"Oh." Cameron shrugged.
"Yeah."
"What next?"
"Cheetos and Vicodin!" House sang.
Cameron said, disapprovingly, "Didn't you have a plan of some sort?"
"Uh huh. But, we need Chase. Why don't you go find him? He likes you."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes."
"Fiine."
"Fine…And watch out for Cuddy. She thinks you're the weak one, rightly so, and will try to get you on her side. DON'T BELIEVE HER LIES! And don't pull a Chase and lock us in."
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"What do you mean, you saw Foreman and Cameron?" Queen Bansheera seethed quietly with anger at the shaking nurses before her. "And you didn't tell me this earlier WHY?"
"B-b-be-because...you...you...you're sc-scary…" The nurse whimpered, and Cuddy growled, and the girl literally scampered from the room.
"I will kill House." She swore and breathed fire again.
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AN: Mhmm. Reviews are yummy. Muffinmuffinmuffin.
This thing is getting a lot of good reviews, mostly telling me I'm insane, because I am. Mwaha.
Oh, by the by, go read my other stories. Okay, I only have one other story, a Spider-Man parody, that's only got, like, a very small amount of reviews, and in my opinion (aka a not very sane one) it's very good.
Also, please tell me if I have typos anywhere here please please please. It's doubtful, but, y'know.
Review, I say.