Author's Note: Thank you as always for the reviews, and a special shout out to Sophie for your amazing, in-depth reviews :) Nice to see some new faces yet again, and some regular reviewers coming back for more. You guys make it so worth writing. Please remember any questions or suggestions are warmly welcomed and I will do my best to get back to you!
Chapter Ten -
Ducky jumped as Gibbs swept through the doors of Autopsy, carrying Ziva. "Jethro!" He began, startled as Gibbs plonked Ziva, gently though unceremoniously on one of the tables.
"Glass shards, both feet. Where's DiNozzo?" Gibbs cut him off.
"I believe I saw Anthony heading towards the gym, he seemed most aggravated. Reminds me of the time..." Gibbs spun on his heel and left, Ducky still talking as he collected some instruments and washed his hands. Ziva cleared her throat gently, alerting the ME to the fact that they were alone. "Ah, my dear Ziva, let me take a look. Of course I'm used to patients that won't speak back, but I'm sure a piece of glass is not outside of my skill. That's not to say I've never worked on living patients before in fact, when I was a lad..."
In the gym, Tony had shed his jacket and tie part way across the floor as he headed to the punching bag, taking wild, unchecked swings, the heavy blue bag swinging back and forth. His face was set, angry as he swung with alternating fists, each solid thumptrying to relieve some of the tangled mess of emotions. Gibbs strode in as Tony's right fist connected, sending the bag flying away from him. Saying nothing, he crossed the room, standing behind the bag and steadying it, allowing Tony to swing more firmly a few times.
"You gonna talk DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, when Tony paused for breath. Tony opened his mouth, said nothing, and setting his jaw again punched at the bag a couple more times. "I'll start then. Behave like that in the field again and I'll be asking for your badge."
"Sor..." Tony trailed off, knowing Gibbs wouldn't want to hear his apology. "Won't happen again." He responded with a bitterness that let Gibbs know it wasn't just the odd behaviour.
"Right... penny for 'em?" Tony shook his head.
"Can't Boss." Tony knew Gibbs wouldn't want to hear any of it. "Not work related."
"It is when it affects you on the job DiNozzo. So, ya gonna tell me why you're behaving like a two year old who doesn't want to share his toys?" Tony flinched, as the comparison was closer than he would have liked. Catching the response, it seemed a light bulb switched on over Gibbs's head as he spoke and his expression grew stern. "Dunno how Ziva would feel about you considering her a toy..."
"All she wants to be..." Tony muttered under his breath.
"Not so hard of hearing as you might think DiNozzo. What the hell happened to Rule 12?" Pale blue eyes narrowed and glared at Tony, who realised there was no way out of this conversation.
"Never dated exactly." Tony shrugged.
"How long?" Gibbs understood immediately, and considered putting a Rule 12 a in effect - never sleep with a coworker.
"Just after Christmas."
"Who said it?" Tony was surprised just how much Gibbs had picked up on from the little he'd said.
"She did, sort of. In Hebrew but half-asleep. I looked up a translation online. I told her I knew but that I couldn't really... but if she did I'd... but then... it was a mistake..." Tony trailed off, realising he was starting to ramble. Gibbs sighed, he'd not expected Ziva to have said it first, just rebuffed Tony's attempt. It did explain her slightly more focused behaviour than usual this evening though, keeping her mind away from a personal, sensitive topic.
"So if you don't feel the same, why the childish behaviour?" Tony flinched again, looking for a way out. Gibbs crossed his arms, Tony wasn't going to be able to avoid what was going on in his mind.
"Dunno Boss... think, maybe... I do." He looked almost embarrassed with this admission. "Didn't like seeing her with someone else... realised I should be dancing with her." The ex-marine blew out a deep breath at Tony's words, he was in way deeper than Gibbs had originally thought.
"So you know what to do about it then?" Gibbs replied, Tony looked blank. "Jeez, do I need to spell it out for you? Sort it out. Do whatever you have to do to be the one dancing with her." Tony gaped for a second, unsure if he was imagining the conversation. "You heard me right. Fix things DiNozzo."
"What about Rule 12?" Tony still looked slightly dazed.
"Still applies at the office. I don't need you moping around, and Ziva when she's personally hurt is a dangerous agent, I don't care how it's fixed, just fix it." Gibbs added a gentle slap to the back of Tony's head, not hard, just enough to make sure the message would sink in.
"What do I...?" Tony began, but closed his mouth as Gibbs raised his eyebrow. "Got it, don't care, just do it." Some of his usual happy go lucky nature was back and he sounded more cheerful.
"Good, we've got a case to close." Gibbs strode out of the gym, Tony on his six. "Oh, and DiNozzo?" Gibbs paused at the door, as Tony collected his jacket.
"Yeah, Boss?"
"I'm not just 'someone else' Ziva was safe with me, always is. Throw another tantrum over that and I'll slap you into next year. "
"Got it Boss." A slightly subdued, though trademark grin, flashed across Tony's features as he hurried after his Boss.
Just before midnight, the team reassembled in the squad room. Abby was fussing over Ziva, who with the glass removed and her wounds dressed could walk, though gingerly. Gibbs and Tony had been busy questioning the men they had brought in, and McGee was reviewing the video footage. Ducky, his expertise no longer required, had gone home again. Vance emerged from his office, bidding SecNav and his detail goodnight, and walked down the stairs to the bullpen.
"So what the hell happened? SecNav isn't happy, but he knows we didn't make the first move." He queried, looking around at the still dressed up team. The men had removed their ties and jackets and undone the top buttons on their shirt, and Ziva was brunette again, but otherwise the clothing was still overly formal for a night at the office.
"Pretty straightforward actually. Conrad decided he wanted a bigger cut and tried to underpay Humphries." McGee explained, he and Abby had already been over the two brochures that had been brought back from the scene, combined with the information gained during interrogation.
"Which explains his hurry to leave." Ziva supplied. Her feet were resting on a chair borrowed from another desk, and white gauze pads were visible on both soles. The cuts would be tender and she would have to miss her morning run for a day or two, but they would heal quickly without long term problems.
"What about the drugs Ms Scuito?" Vance turned to Abby now.
"Nothing out of the ordinary, your classic methamphetamine. I'm waiting for Major Mass Spec to tell me more about it so we can try and trace the source." Abby reported.
"Thank you. I want finished reports on my desk first thing on Monday morning. Get home and get some rest." Vance instructed. The group stood up, collecting jackets and bags, Abby returning to her lab to put her 'babies' to bed. McGee sat back down to wait for Abby's return, he'd see her to her car safely, Gibbs nodded quiet approval at the gesture.
"Tony, take Ziva home, she can't drive yet." Gibbs instructed, Ziva opened her mouth to protest, although focused and unflapped by Tony's behaviour during the night, she was quietly furious and didn't want to be alone with him yet. Gibbs shot her a look telling her plainly not to argue as she slipped on a pair of loose fitting sneakers to protect her feet. "Take care of her DiNozzo." Gibbs added.
"On it Boss." Tony agreed, Tim and Ziva both looked interested at the change of manner from the sulking man they had seen earlier in the night. "What?" He glared at them both, offering his arm to Ziva, who stubbornly hobbled to the elevator unaided. It was a silent ride down to the parking lot, Gibbs giving Tony the barest tap on the back of his skull to remind him of their conversation earlier as they left the small box.
"Monday, 0730." Gibbs instructed over his shoulder. "David, you are letting Tony take you home. End of story." He added as an afterthought as Ziva made to slip away to her own car.
"Well Zi, my car or yours?" Tony asked.
It was a long, awkward drive back to Ziva's apartment. Ziva had sat silently in the passenger seat, scowling, and ignoring Tony, who had tried several avenues of smalltalk, playing the radio, humming along with the songs, and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to get any kind of response out of her. When he pulled to the kerb outside her building, she got out of the car quickly, making it clear she did not want to be followed, which he did anyway, hurrying behind her as she climbed the front steps and crossed the lobby.
"Ziva, wait." Tony called after her. She paused at the foot of the stairs leading up to her apartment, "We need to talk."
"There is nothing to talk about Tony." Ziva repeated the text message she had sent earlier, turning to climb the stairs again, though more slowly, the pressure on the ball of her foot needing her to be careful.
"You might have nothing to say Zi, but I do, and I'd rather not do it out in the hall. Can I come in... please?" Tony waited a few paces away from her door as she found her keys and unlocked it. There was a long silence as Ziva considered.
"Very well," Ziva said at last, Tony sighed, relieved. "But it will be brief." Her manner was still stiff, Tony knew it would take every ounce of his gift of the gab to bring her round.
"Thanks... look... I..." Tony faltered as he followed Ziva into her home.
"You acted like a child!" For someone who had nothing to say, Ziva certainly found her voice now. "You were immature, rude, unprofessional, Gibbs and I had a lot to concentrate on, we did not need your huffing and stuffing in the background."
"Huffing and puffing," Tony corrected quietly, relieved she was not bringing up his 'cold hearted assassin' comment from earlier in the day. "I know, and it's going to sound ridiculous but..."
"I do not think anything could have been more ridiculous than your behaviour Tony!" Ziva snapped. She had gone into her room, and he was standing outside the open door, his back turned as she shimmied out of the satin gown, quickly throwing on pyjamas.
"No?" Tony challenged, forgetting his desire to make things right at her angry tone, "What about calling me your love and then telling me it was a mistake?" There was a distinct slam from behind him, suggesting Ziva had shut her wardrobe with rather more force than needed.
"You do not feel the same anyway Tony... what does it matter?" Ziva was behind him suddenly, her voice low and aggravated. He started at her sudden presence as she brushed past him, avoiding contact. She had donned pyjamas and a dressing gown, his company clearly unwanted.
"Would you hear me out Zi?" He followed her through to the kitchen as she got a bowl of muesli, she had barely picked at her dinner earlier, being too focused to really eat. Like Tony, her solo life meant she only needed a small table in the kitchen to eat at, and he sat across from her, placing both hands palm up on the table. "I get that you're mad with me, and you should be, but can I finish what I came to say? Then I'll be out of your hair."
"Go on. I will not interrupt." Ziva agreed, taking another spoonful.
"I said I didn't thinkI felt the same, and if you'd listened to the rest of what I had to say, you'd know I was willing to give it a try. Then, seeing you tonight, dressed up like that... in someone else's arms. I just..." Tony took the opportunity with her mouth being full to start talking. "Zi... I dunno if I'm in love with you exactly, but I'm definitely crazy about you. I was jealous alright? I get that Gibbs was the right man for the job tonight, but I want to be the one dancing with you, taking you out to dinner, making you smile like that. To hell with Rule Six, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you this morning, I'm sorry I was such a jerk, and I'm sorry I'm laying this on you now." He took a deep breath and stood, prepared to be told to get out.
"Tony..." Ziva paused, studying him. "This was supposed to be a simple arrangement, no emotions." She reminded him gently.
"Please Zi, not that again." Tony dropped his head, hurt. "It's not simple anymore, and my emotions are involved. I know yours aren't and it hurts like hell, so I'm gonna get out of here before it gets worse." He made for the door quickly.
"Would you stop assuming you know what I am feeling Tony!" He turned back as she stood rapidly, knocking the remains of her snack onto the tiles, her chair following suit as she moved toward him,looking him right in the eye for the first time in hours. "I do not know if I love you either. This is not something that I am used to feeling. But I learned something tonight, having a man who looks at you like you are the only woman in the world is not a bad feeling."
"Not to mention looking at him like he's the only man in the world." Tony added ruefully. Ziva sighed.
"We were acting Tony. Acting! Gibbs and I are no more in love now than we were before this began, and we were not in love to begin with! I do not know why you would think I would suddenly fall for Gibbs after playing his wife for an evening, but let it go." She extended her hand forcefully into his chest, emphasising her frustration. He put his hand over hers quickly, keeping it pressed over his heart, her fingers curled into the stiff, cool linen of the dress shirt he still wore.
"Okay, acting, I get it. But what does that have to do with you learning anything?" Tony asked hesitantly.
"Because I realised there has only ever been one man who treated me with that air of love and respect and..." Ziva shrugged, not quite knowing what the word she wanted to describe it was, Tony bobbed his head slightly indicating he understood anyway. "One who was not acting that is." She added softly.
"Oh?" Tony supplied, still convinced she was going to tell him to leave at any second.
"If I were Gibbs I would slap you." Ziva sighed. "It was you, last night."
"So why the freak out this morning?" Tony had to know. Ziva led him to the couch, her feet were sore and she needed to sit, they twisted to face each other, Tony not relinquishing his gentle grip on her right hand.
"Because this was not supposed to be... this, emotions and secrets and jealousy. I thought perhaps if I told you it was a mistake, we could go back to our arrangement and it would be fine." She admitted.
"But it's not fine," Tony put in, "We're both pissed with each other, we're both hurt, and neither of us actually know what the other is thinking." Ziva nodded assent.
"It is not fine." She agreed quietly, she shuffled to face him a little straighter, tucking one leg under, though carefully keeping her foot free from pressure.
"What do you want to do?" Tony asked, "I've told you what I want. I want to take you to dinner, dance with you, make you smile at me like I'm the only man in the world. I want to watch movies with you, talk till the sun comes up, braid your hair before bed every night, and wake up with you in my arms the next day. I might not be sure if I'm in love with you Ziva, but I'm willing to do all of that until I am... and till you feel the same." Ziva looked away quickly, but not quickly enough for Tony to see the tears that welled in her dark eyes.
"I need to go to the bathroom..." She extracted herself, instinctively his hand tightened against her wrist, stilling her flight reflex. "Just for a minute, I promise that I will be back." She stood, exiting hastily. Tony slumped back onto the cushions with a heavy sigh. This was not going well. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and absently he pulled it out to see.
"Abs," He murmured to himself, tapping the screen to see the picture attached to the text. It was the one she'd taken earlier in the squadroom, the team lined up in front of the elevator, dressed to the nines. He took in McGee's slightly awkward stance in the stiff suit, and Gibbs, unusual with his brown hair with a small smile. Then his eyes focused on the middle of the picture, he and Ziva, his arm around her waist, beaming at the camera, her body moulded against his side, her face tilted up to him instead of toward Abby. She was smiling softly, her posture relaxed, and the expression on her face filled with affection. Even through her anger and hurt with him, in the second of the photo, her face plainly showed the warmth and joy at being in his arms that she had not been able to hide.
He went back through his other photos, a couple of weeks earlier he had taken a few silly self portraits with his phone held at arm's length as he and Ziva had snuggled on the couch watching a movie. There it was, that same warm, affectionate smile in one, in the next, her dark chocolate eyes focused on him instead of the camera, even when the rest of her face suggested mild exasperation at his behaviour, a few more, silly faces, poked tongues, Tony giving her bunny ears behind her head, but always her eyes on him, and her expression loving.
"Don't I feel like the prize jackass?" He asked no one in particular, dropping his phone into his lap. He suddenly realised what he hadn't seen in all their nights together, what perhaps Ziva hadn't realised, she already looked at him like he was the only man in the world.
"Tony," He looked up again as she returned, the front of her hair slicked back, suggesting she had splashed a lot of cold water on her face. Tony got to his feet quickly to meet her, and she grasped both his hands. She looked right into his eyes, Tony noticing for the first time the tenderness toward him that had always been there. "Yes." She said simply.
"Yes?" He queried.
"Yes, I want that too. It is scary and unknown and uncontrollable. But if I cannot trust you to keep me safe in something like this, then there is no one else I can trust either." She breathed deep, feeling oddly as though she had just stepped off a cliff. Tony crushed her against his body, his hug with a strength to rival Abby's embrace.
"Ziva... Thanks, just thanks." For once it seemed Tony was lost for words, peppering her with kisses, his lips brushing over her brow, her cheeks, her eyelids as they fluttered closed beneath the barrage. Finally he found her lips, there would be lots of talking to come, but for now, kissing would do.
A/N: It's crazy late but it came to me in a hurry, so I hope it's not too rushed. There is more to come!