Disclaimer: I don't think I need one of these anymore. Although, I do now own a pineapple. Go me.

Author's Note: Summer for me has no time, so it might have been yesterday that I updated and it might've been a week ago. I measure by TV shows. For instance, 'House on tonight' means Tuesday.

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It amazing how welcoming the nurses were.

"Oh, Doctor Wilson! Come on it, it's lovely to see you."

"Would you like some coffee?"

"Or maybe some fat free sugar free cookies?"

What was a cookie without fat and sugar, the Blue Ranger wondered, and why would anyone willingly eat it?

But he smiled politely as they ushered him in and gave him a chair to sit. He sat down and stared at a fat free sugar free cookie. He was very suspicious. Maybe it was plastic. Did plastic have carbs? He thought so, but if it did, then these girls wouldn't be eating them. Apparently they were on diets.

The NURSE'S LOUNGE was just like a DOCTOR'S LOUNGE except smaller. And no TV. And only one window. There was a table in the center of the room that was surrounded by those very uncomfortable waiting room chairs. If Wilson remembered correctly, in a DOCTOR'S LOUNGE there were not uncomfortable waiting room chairs. Plastered all over bulletin boards in the NURSE'S LOUNGE were all sorts of annoying stuff like pictures of cats and puppies and very many pictures of Johnny Depp; pink, flowery stuff bordered EVERYTHING. Wilson could swear he felt his testosterone level dropping already. There was a small hallway that led to a few doorways. Three doors. One of those had to be where they were keeping Chase.

To him all the nurses looked a like except that really evil one. Brenda. Wilson knew she had at least a few brain cells because of the way she foiled House's plans many times. He suspected she was in cahoots with Cuddy, Cuddy's right hand nurse.

Brenda glared at him.

Yes, he thought, she is obviously in cahoots with Cuddy because Cuddy must've taught Brenda to glare like that.

It was a glare that could send lesser men in seizures.

Wilson, however, was made of stronger stuff.

After all, he hung out with House on a daily basis.

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The Red Ranger made a deal with the boxes. Help me out, he pleaded, and you will never be lonely again.

They nodded.

He popped another Vicodin.

Talking to boxes.

Being locked in a storage room.

Chase kidnapped by nurses.

This was a weird day.

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The Yellow Ranger walked calmly down the heavily packed corridor, wondering why it was so heavily packed at this time of night. She had learned from watching many, many movies (okay, a few) that sometimes to hide you must hide in plain sight.

Or maybe she learned that from House.

He did spout things off like that a lot of the times, didn't he?

Or maybe it was Foreman.

Oh, right, Foreman.

Gotta find Foreman.

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The Black Ranger had finally found a grasp on reality.

Admittedly it was like he was grasping to the edge of cliff in the Grand Canyon and someone had covered his hands in Vaseline, but it was a grip.

The sun was setting.

Foreman had realized this by looking out the window.

Cuddy was doing some paperwork.

Foreman thought that it would be pretty easy for him to just get up and walk over to the door and leave.

Cuddy laughed. "No, you couldn't."

Oh wait. He must have said that aloud. What else did he say aloud?

"Something about the Grand Canyon." Cuddy shook her head.

A lot, then.

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Chase hated cross-dressing.

Even if he was good at it.

He looked like a girl.

So embarrassing.

And they weren't going to let him go until they got another toy.

Or unless someone saved him.

Chase laughed. That was funny. Nobody knew where he was, not to mention even if he did they wouldn't anyway. He locked House and Wilson in an empty storage room, for God's sake. Of course, House did have a cell phone and was quite capable of calling someone for help which he probably already did. This made Chase's situation no more better.

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"So, Doctor Wilson," Brenda said. The cautious, safe, and smart little person insideWilson's head told him this was not going to be good.

"Have you seen Doctor House today?" She continued, glaring at him suspiciously.

Wilson could lie. It depended on who he lied to. Lying to someone like House was impossible for him. Or Cuddy. But he could lie to people he didn't know. He was very fluent at lying to certain people. "Haven't seen him all day. Why do you ask?" He replied in a friendly tone, sipping the coffee. Decaf. Uhm, ew.

"It seems he has not been present at work today." She hissed.

Wilson smiled. "Well, that's not very new, is it?"

The other nurses giggled. Did they have names, Wilson wondered vaguely as Brenda asked him with a raised eyebrow, "Oh? You haven't either, Doctor Wilson."

He hadn't thought of that. But he didn't let the blankness show on his face, just shrugged and said, "I went looking for him. He signed in. Couldn't find him. As I said, this isn't a newsflash for any of us, I think; he's always doing irresponsible things like this."

The mean, sarcastic, and completely insane part of him pointed out, 'yeah, and you help him out.'

Brenda smiled thinly. "Well, you're always following him around..."

"Really? I would say he's always following me around. Thinks it'll get him Brownie points with Cuddy, hanging out with a responsible doctor." Wilson kept his tone even and ever so slightly joking.

'You're skipping work to play Power Rangers with your fellow doctors. Not as responsible as you think.' the anti-good voice inside of him said.

Brenda just kept on looking at him with that look that said 'I don't believe you'. Or maybe it was the look that said, 'We're going to kill you'. Those looks did get mixed up often, he supposed.

An awkward silence followed.

The unnamed nurses broke this by asking him how his day was.

He replied with a 'fine, I was looking for House all day. You know him, probably won the Olympic gold medal for Hide and Seek.'

The sarcastic voice in his head protested lightly, 'and you won the gold for lying.'

Wilson realized that he had a miniature subconscious House inside his head.

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Chase heard a familiar voice.

Wilson.

Wilson was the main room of the nurse's lounge.

Chase was in one the anterooms.

He hoped Wilson had come to save him.

Actually, it was just Wilson, he thought sadly, so he probably won't be saving me. A knight in shining armor Wilson was not.

Er, not like Chase wanted a knight in shining armor.

Oh woe is Chase.

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House realized with sense of undeniable dread that he missed his soap opera.

HOW ON EARTH WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN SONNY AND CARLY NOW!?!?!?

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"You know who else I haven't seen today?" Wilson mentioned, faking offhandedness, "Doctor Chase. Know him? Blonde, tall...err, blonde."

The younger nurses visibly tensed up while Brenda kept her coolness.

"No, haven't seen him today. Odd, isn't that? Both of them not being seen, and come to it I haven't seen Doctors Cameron and Foreman either..." Brenda shrugged, also pretending offhandedness.

Wilson realized that he had a rival in the war of fake offhandedness. "It is odd." He murmured, feigning curiosity. There. See her feign curiosity as well as he did. Ha.

"Indeed." Brenda frowned and leered at him.

He was understandably very disturbed, being leered at like that by a nurse.

"Doctor Chase has really nice hair." A blushing nurse smiled and giggled. The others agreed, also blushing.

He felt like saying, yeah, I have better hair, and plus I don't dye it.

Because he didn't.

And Chase did.

But instead he just shook his head. He wondered how he was going to save Chase. Of course, it was just Chase and they didn't really need him, did they? Wait, yes they did. He made wonderful bait.

So, how to save the Aussie?

Well the obvious, smart way would be to somehow get the nurses out and then sneak Chase out.

And that was not going to happen unless he had a distraction outside. A distraction the nurses cared about. Now, unless they were giving away fat free sugar free cookies or giving away hair products out there, they would not leave. Apparently they did not have jobs or patients did not need help or anything to do remotely useful like that.

His very own subconscious House told him, very sensibly, 'Plan B would be to throw your decaf coffee on the nurses, rush into the room Chase is hiding on, attack any nurses there and run out dragging Chase screaming. He'll be screaming, too, of course, the little pussy. And at least there will be some use for that decaf coffee.'

This was a very good plan.

Insane. Insane. INSANE. The safe part of him yelled.

NO. SENSIBLE AND VERY SMART. His House part of himself shrieked.

Wilson decided that he should not be having these tiny wars in his head and went for the easiest choice, which happened to be the most INSANE one.

He wouldn't admit it to anyone but it was the most fun, too.

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Cameron suddenly ended up in an empty hallway. She had no idea how. Or why. Or what floor, exactly, she was on.

How did this work out?

Well. Cameron was rational, she could figure this out. She turned to a sign nearby, expecting something helpful to be displayed.

'STORAGE ROOM.'

Cameron pouted. That's not any help at all.

She looked for another sign.

'STORAGE ROOM.'

Again? How many storage rooms did one floor need?

As she soon found out, at least ten. Now, this was too weird.

Cameron, being Cameron, suspected nothing like a trick or a trap.

Not a good plan.

Most of the other Power Rangers didn't have what a normal person would call 'good plans' either, so that was that and they were all doomed.

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AN: Well, that was really short, I know I know I know.

But on Tuesday me and my family were watching House and it was a rerun so I was like, "God, they always think it's lupus or TB or..or.." and my mom said, "Wilson's. Or Wagner's. Or Hodgekin's." And my dad, always looking for something to do, said, "Gosh, AJ, you should write a House drinking game." (By the way, I'm AJ.) Or maybe it was my brother who said that. I don't know. We're all very weird. So I fetched a notebook and a pen and we watched House and thought up a drinking game.

I'm gonna post some of the House drinking game rules, now, because this chapter does not have enough words. Let's bump it up.

"Drink once whenever... House uses his cane for anything besides walking.

Drink twice whenever someone besides House writes on the white board.

Drink twice whenever House wears a white coat.

Drink once whenever House takes a Vicodin for any reason.

Drink twice whenever we see Wilson doing his own job.

Drink once whenever Cameron gets a shocked, self-righteous on her face at House doing something unethical, irresponsible, or illegal, even if he's done the same damn thing a million times before.

Or just whenever Cameron looks utterly shocked.

Drink once whenever House's clinic patient is an idiot.

Drink once when someone hits/attacks House.

Drink once whenever House plays with the tennis ball, a yoyo, or asks his Magic 8 Ball.

Drink once with any encounter with Coma Guy.

Drink once when Wilson is interrupted in the job by House.

Drink twice when House wears a tie.

Drink once when House makes some sort of sexual remark to/about Cuddy.

Drink twice when Wilson doesn't wear a tie.

Drink twice when anyone BESIDES House lies.

Drink once when Cuddy gets pissed at House.

Drink once whenever House avoids clinic duty.

Drink twice when anyone besides House makes fun of Chase.

Drink twice when anyone besides House gets sued.

Rob a liquor store when: House is clean-shaven.

And, of course, drink whenever House drinks."

Now, I advise you to not drink actual alcohol, because, as my brother told us when we explained this to him, there is such a thing as alcohol poisoning.

Oh, right. Review, my darlings.

I'm getting Spider-Man shoelaces. For my, er, shoes. Duh. By the way, read my Spider-Man story. Uhm.

I have a pineapple. Yum.