Author's Note: Thank you all for reading and for adding it as your favourite and following! We got to 100 followers which feels a bit like a milestone, and suitably momentous for what I had planned for this chapter anyway.
My apologies for the long wait... the worldwide virus finally caught up with me, so I spent a lot of time napping, and then when I'd gotten it finished, I changed my mind because it wasn't working and I had to flip the whole thing.
Anyway, it's about time they did this. Let's get into it.
Chapter Sixteen - Ready Or Not
Summer faded before the bruising on Ziva's leg did. It had bloomed impressively; the deep violet hue lingered for weeks, and by the time it had eased into greyish yellow, it was autumn and Tony and Ziva had been dating for nearly 6 months. No longer afraid of being found out, their relationship blossomed into a true partnership, and although neither one realised it, they had begun to effectively live together.
They split their nights between both apartments, based on who had perishable food to use in the fridge and whether or not they wanted to use the pool at Ziva's. They took turns cooking, cleaning, and shopping for groceries, and alternated morning and afternoon runs to suit Ziva and Tony's preferences respectively. There were quiet cuddles, long kisses, playful wrestling, and cheeky squeezes on someone's butt as they passed. There was laughter when Tony seized Ziva for an impromptu dance around the kitchen as they waited for the kettle to boil, and contented silence when she would approach Tony to wind her arms around his waist and rest her head on his back. Tony tried Ziva's martial arts and ballet, finding them both far more strenuous than he imagined, but acknowledging the strength and flexibility she gained, Ziva did her best to learn football and basketball, but ultimately preferred baseball. Although they talked for hours, they could be just as comfortable in silence, Ziva's feet in Tony's lap as they both read or played on their phones. Of course they argued, quick heated exchanges borne of miscommunication, but made it up quickly, and like their relationship they never brought a disagreement to work, although Gibbs still knew when something was up and would issue a gruff "sort it out" as they headed home for the night. Even the occasional squabble wasn't able to brush off the glow being together had given them, and despite the relative newness of the relationship, they complimented each other so perfectly, it seemed difficult to imagine there had ever been a time when they had done anything else.
At NCIS, things continued much the same, they were still consummate professionals, true to one of their earliest ground rules and were rarely affectionate in sight of anyone else. The whole team already had a habit of invading each other's personal space; wrapping arms over shoulders to type on a keyboard, stealing swigs of coffee or a bite of a sandwich, napping on each other's shoulders during a long case, generally standing far too close, or hijacking personal hygiene items, not to mention Gibbs' head slaps and Abby's ever generous hugs, so other than standing a smidge closer than they had in the past and Ziva no longer being openly disgusted (although still annoyed) when Tony helped himself to her lunch, from the outside it looked the same as it always had. As far as the rest of the building was concerned, when word did get out about their couple hood, the only surprise was that they hadn't already been dating for years, although there were rumours about a betting pool finally paying out.
The end of summer had seen an influx of new probationary agents, who were assigned to float between teams and help where required, but mostly ended up underfoot. Gibbs, resistant to change as always, and not seeing anything promising in terms of future field agents, ignored them where possible and intimidated them when not. Ziva had been downright terrifying on a couple of instances when it seemed two of the taller, broader shouldered males doubted the power behind her slight 5 foot 6 frame. Tim was kinder, but impatient when they tried to touch his computer, and Abby had barred entrance to her lab to anyone outside of Team Gibbs. It seemed the only person who didn't mind the presence of the bewildered young recruits was Tony who found amusement in sending them to various corners of the building in the search of nonexistent case files or long retired staff members.
However, one young woman, Laura, had quickly realised the pecking order within NCIS and was determined to impress the MCRT, shadowing them wherever possible and cheerfully tone deaf to any attempts to snub or redirect her. So far, she had succeeded in tripping Ziva up twice, spilling water on Tim's keyboard, blatantly flirting at (not with, her attempts were entirely unreciprocated) Tony, and committed the ultimate crime of knocking Gibbs' coffee out of his hand, on three separate occasions. She was trying hard, but after only 3 days of her eager, but clumsy assistance, the MCRT were somewhat tired of her hanging around.
"Oh, Agent DiNozzo, your shoelace!" Tony had just returned to the squad room with lunch taking a circuitous voyage around the outside of the space trying to avoid Laura, and had ended up closer to the tall filing cabinets on the other side of the room. Nevertheless she had seen him, and made a beeline to offer to help with the multiple bags of food, having been banned by Gibbs from undertaking the lunch runs herself when she'd spilled his coffee the previous day. She pointed at his feet, one of his laces was loose and dragging on the ground.
"At least she has an eye for detail." Ziva muttered darkly, propped on the corner of her desk. She was not at all threatened by the constant attempts to flirt with Tony, simply annoyed.
"Not really, or she'd have seen the way Tony looks at you." Tim's voice, somewhat muffled, came from underneath her desk, where he was fiddling with the wires to her computer. Ziva shot him a grateful smile. Laura had planted herself firmly in front of Tony and was attempting to relieve him of the food, so he could tie his shoe. It was an awkward back and forth dance, Tony trying to step around her, Laura desperate to be of assistance blocking him at every turn.
"I got it!" Tony exclaimed at last, swinging the bags up onto the top of the cabinets and dropping to his knee. "If you have to help, do me a favour and pull the files for a case we had last year... Petty Officers Victor Laszlo and Ilsa Lund." He dropped to his knee to fix the shoelace.
"Right away Special Agent DiNozzo!" Laura whipped open a drawer on one of the cabinets, just as Tony began to straighten up, slamming the corner of it straight into his temple. The contact was solid, and the noise drew the attention of Ziva and Gibbs, as he went down with a groan.
"Tony!" Ziva was by his side in a second, he was curled on his side, both hands held to the side of his head.
"Careful Ziva, we're dealing with a head injury." Gibbs warned, kneeling down in Tony's line of sight. "DiNozzo! You with us?" The green eyes blinked slowly, and he groaned in response.
"Oh my goodness, is there anything I can do to help?" Laura gushed, she tried to bend down alongside Gibbs, treading on his hand in the process. "Agent Gibbs, I'm so sorry!"
"Be anywhere but here." Gibbs growled, turning his back on her.
"Owww." Tony groaned, rolling to his back. Ziva pried his hands away, the draw had left a clear welt, but he wasn't bleeding. "S'all good. 'Tis but a scratch." He mumbled, running his words together. He sat up slowly, propping his elbows on his knees and cradling his forehead in his hands.
"Do you want me to call an ambulance, Boss?" Tim queried, having extricated himself from beneath Ziva's desk.
"Nah, he stayed conscious and the skin isn't broken." Gibbs shook his head, "Let's get him down to Ducky."
"Tony we're going to walk now," Ziva slid his arm over her shoulder, bracing herself to haul, nodding as McGee followed suit on the other side. "McGee, we lift on my count. One, two... go!" They dragged Tony upright and got him turned in the direction of the elevator.
"It's like a kick line, complete with a very pretty lady... dunno about you though." Tony slurred looking from Ziva to Tim and realising he had both junior agents tucked underneath his arms. "Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today..." Despite the short walk, they were hampered by his weight and Tony managed to get both the first and second verses in before they reached the elevator, which Gibbs had called and was propping the doors.
"Right to the very heart of it, New York, New York!"
"Might have been a harder hit than we thought," McGee commented, staggering a little as Tony attempted to kick in time to the tune.
"I want to wake up in the city that doesn't sleep..."
"We'll get Ducky to give him a neuro exam." Gibbs agreed, narrowing his eyes. "Hey, Ol' Blue Eyes. Get your backside in that elevator, or it won't be New York you wake up in."
"You got it, Bossman!" Tony agreed cheerfully, trying to turn back to his desk. "These little town blues are melting away..."
"No, you're coming with me Tony." Ziva steered him firmly in the right direction.
"Don't think my girlfriend would like you making offers like that pretty lady. I should take her to New York stead! Where is she anyway?"
"In!" Ziva and McGee shoved together and Tony stumbled in ahead of them. "You are sure he is okay Gibbs?" She as the doors slid shut.
"I'll make a brand new start of it..."
"He might be a bit concussed..."
"In old New York!"
"...but the only real damage is going to be to his ego." Gibbs continued rolling his eyes.
"If I can make it there..."
"He's remembered every word of that damn song just fine, there's nothing to worry about." Tony staggered a little and Ziva threw an arm around his waist to steady him.
"Hey, it's you again, pretty lady, no getting handsy. I'm a taken man!" He pointed a finger sternly, before abruptly switching back to his tune. "I'll make it any-WHERE!"
"He's going to feel like hell tomorrow though." Gibbs added as an afterthought.
"It's up to you, New York, New York!"
"Your suspicions were right Jethro, Anthony does indeed have a mild concussion." Ducky flashed the torch across Tony's eyes one last time. "However I don't believe there is any real cause for concern. The initial symptoms of shock appear to be wearing off and he's nicely alert." When the elevator had stopped at their floor, Tony had warned Ziva off again, insisting he was fine to walk on his own. Ziva herself was nowhere to be seen having pulled one of her 'ninja moves' and slipping away from the group somewhere between the elevator and the morgue.
"Oh, I am more than alert." Tony grumbled, sounding much more like himself, the cooler air in the morgue helping to improve his status. "Head feels like I..."
"Like you made a fool out of yourself and probably pissed off your girlfriend into the bargain?" Gibbs finished for him, naturally he'd noticed Ziva's departure without saying a word. Tony groaned, remembering.
"Yeah, that's about it Boss. Hey... it's my very pretty girlfriend." Tony greeted sheepishly as Ziva returned, her knuckles showing signs of a couple of rounds with the gym punching bag.
"How is he Ducky?" Ziva did not immediately cross to Tony, directing her attention to the ME.
"Sore, but not seriously injured. I have prescribed medical leave for the rest of today and tomorrow. I recommend that you go home too, so he can be supervised during that time, just to be on the safe side." Ziva's eyes flashed to Tony, uncertain and back to Ducky, who understood the message. "Timothy my good man, why don't you take Anthony up to his desk and make sure he has everything he needs to go home and wait there. Ziva will follow when I have provided her with the information she needs for his care tonight. Jethro I suggest..."
"He's already left Ducky." Ziva interrupted softly as Tony slid off the table and followed McGee out.
"As I expected. Now my dear, did I detect some hesitance when I proposed you be responsible for Anthony while he recovers? I assure you, I would not release him if I felt there was any danger to either of you."
"Oh no, I have had many concussions in my time, Ducky. I am well aware of what he will need tonight..." She trailed off.
"Ahh," He nodded sagely. "Tea, then? I am sure your beau will be in excellent hands with Timothy for a few extra minutes." Ziva accepted gratefully and Ducky went about his soothing ritual of brewing a pot for them to share.
"Thank you." Ziva sighed when the fresh cup was placed in her hands. Ducky's eyes catching the light bruising on her knuckles.
"So, Ziva. Would you care to elaborate on the cause of your anxiety... Or the reason you needed to take a detour before checking on Anthony?" He asked, turning her hand gently to inspect them.
"I needed a moment to release my own tension before focusing on Tony. That is all." She sipped the tea.
"Perhaps gloves next time." He admonished kindly, she nodded assent before continuing.
"At first, when Tony hit his head, he did not appear to know me." Ducky nodded, having been apprised of the multiple 'pretty lady' comments. "He knew Gibbs, and that he likes to make fun of McGee, but he warned me off him."
"As you saw for yourself, he was extremely dazed. The injury is only mild, but some confusion is to be expected for a short time. However, as you also saw, by the time I had the opportunity to look him over, he was well aware of his surroundings and passed a full neurological exam, he's recovering well."
"Am I the appropriate person to care for him given that he didn't know me?" Ziva sipped her tea, trying to drown her agitation in the fragrant blend.
"Ahh, Ziva. That is a multifaceted inquiry. There are several precedents to consider, the first being the traditional role of spouses in caretaking when their partner is unwell, and given the nature of your relationship it would seem more than appropriate. Indeed, there are inclusions for caretaking leave within your salary for just such a purpose. Secondly there is the professional requirement to ensure a patient is receiving appropriate post discharge care. As you have expressed yourself, you come bearing first hand knowledge of the treatment for a person in Anthony's situation, so I do not doubt your ability to care for him for one moment. Emotionally of course, I find it hard to believe that he would choose anyone other than you to fill that role, there is little doubt as to how he feels about you."
"Ducky..." Ziva raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "What is it you are not saying?"
"You're getting nearly as good at seeing through my eloquence as Jethro, my dear girl and you are correct in assuming that there is something more to it all. I understand that Anthony was able to treat you all to a song without forgetting a word. It would seem based on that, that there was very little wrong with his mental faculties after the accident, and that he should have known who you were.
"So why...?"
"That is something you will have to ask him yourself. I could only guess at his motives. I suggest you wait until the headache subsides somewhat before making enquiries, however." He reached across to pat her hand reassuringly.
"You think it was all just an act?" Ziva queried.
"No, the concussion is real, and he will have a most unpleasant time of it for the next while. Whatever he was playing at, he intended no harm. Anthony does not have an ounce of spite in his body, Ziva. If you were hurt or scared, by all means tell him, but do not approach the situation too harshly, I feel certain that he meant well." Ducky explained, draining his cup.
"Thank you for your honesty Ducky. Ice, Tylenol and rest, correct? He may sleep?" Switching back to business mode, Ziva ran through a care checklist she was well versed with herself.
"As much as he needs, 10 or even 12 hours if he will stay still for that long." Ducky acknowledged. "Let me walk you back upstairs."
"There is no need." She protested mildly, placing her empty cup beside his.
"A gentleman will always see the lady to her door." He countered. With a smile, she offered her elbow and allowed him to call the elevator on her behalf. Riding back up to the squad room together, he gave a few more pointers for Tony's recovery. "Oh, and Ziva.." Ducky added as she thanked him and went to leave the elevator.
"Yes?" She paused, turning back to face him.
"You are forgetting the legal precedent. Anthony had recently updated his medical records to list you as his next of kin. You are the ideal person in every way."
"He has?" She queried, surprise and understanding simultaneously evident in her voice. Ducky smiled knowingly and inclined his head just once, as the elevator doors closed again.
"My head is killing me." Tony groaned, easing himself onto the bed sometime later after Ziva had driven them back to her apartment and made their slow way up the stairs. He'd been quiet on the drive home, and she'd been able to think about her talk with Ducky and the fact that Tony had listed her on his file. She had gone back and forth for some time, uncertain about the apparently fake amnesia, touched by this new revelation, ultimately deciding that she would honour his wishes, pleased he trusted her so deeply, even if he had not said as much in words.
"I'll bring you some medicine in a moment. Do you want to change?" She bent and unlaced his shoes, pulling them off before helping him swing his legs onto the bed.
"Nah, I can get down to my shorts, that will do." He shrugged, unbuttoning his shirt.
"Okay. I will get Tylenol. You are to rest Tony." She slipped out of the room, finding the pill bottle and a glass of water.
"Thanks, Sweetcheeks." He grinned, looking puzzled when she didn't respond with the standard 'Hairybutt', providing care was one thing, giving affection was another and she was not quite there yet.
"Ducky has suggested you take a dose regularly every 4 hours until midday tomorrow, I will wake you for the next. Sleep in the meantime." She switched off the light, and drew the curtains leaving the room dim, settling in the armchair in the corner with her phone.
"Ziva..."
"Sleep Tony." She repeated. Still sore and dizzy, there was little for him to do but comply.
When she woke him for the next dose of medicine, he could smell food, and not just any food, her cooking. The clock at the bedside told him it was almost 8pm, and he had been out for the full 4 hours. She'd also brought in a small standing lamp he recognised from the living area and put it beside her chair, and a book lay open on the arm.
"How do you feel?" She helped him sit up, and handed him two new tablets and a fresh glass of water.
"Still sore. Hungry." He threw back the medicine with half the water in a single gulp.
"Ducky warned that you may have a headache until well into tomorrow. But I'm glad you are hungry. I made matzo soup." Her voice was low and she had kept the main light off, careful not to aggravate his head.
"I'm not sick." He argued, in spite of the fact that he loved her cooking.
"Injured and drugged is a kind of sick." Tony laughed in response, wincing when it jarred his head. He recognised the quote, from an episode of a show they had been watching in the evenings recently. Although Ziva complained about the airhead characterisation of the lead female, she seemed to relate to the subtext of the characters speaking different languages while still all speaking English. "I will bring some on a tray?"
"Please." He didn't really feel up to walking and sitting upright in a solid dining chair. She obliged, setting herself up with her own bowl in the armchair as well. "This is amazing, as always." He acknowledged a few mouthfuls later.
"You're welcome." She did actually smile this time. However, by the time the bowl was empty, he was ready to lay back down and drift off again, and he didn't even notice her clearing the dishes or settling back down with her book.
Ziva continued her armchair vigil through the night, waking Tony for another dose of medicine when needed, reading quietly, and watching any changes in his behaviour as he slept.
He was vaguely aware of her guiding him down the hallway so he could use the bathroom when he asked. She'd kept all the lights dim to avoid hurting his head, and the hand on his arm was gentle, but reassuring. He could tell she'd showered at some point, her hair was still slightly damp when she tucked him back in gently. Another time, he'd noticed her moving around a little, lighting a scented candle on the dresser. It smelled familiar, sandalwood like her deodorant and something citrusy, but not heavily floral, it was relaxing and he found himself drifting back again quickly.
"Come in too." He mumbled, when he realised she had curled herself back into the armchair with a fuzzy throw over her legs.
"No, Ducky said you should be supervised. I will be here." She replied, lifting her book and flipping back to the middle.
"You're too good to me..." He grumbled, sleep coming again.
Sometime after 9am, she stretched, closed her book and padded out to the kitchen in silence, blowing out the candle on the way. Tony woke of his own accord about an hour later, he sat up slowly, his head still a little sore, but considerably improved and found his robe at the foot of the bed. Shuffling towards the bathroom, he could hear her in the kitchen.
"He is still sleeping. I will wake him up for some more food soon..." She was evidently on the phone, Gibbs or Ducky, he assumed. "No, no running, maybe a walk later. Yes, tomorrow."
"Morning." He caught her attention as she ended the call.
"You should not be up yet!" Obviously caught by surprise, she hurried over to chivvy him toward the sofa, sitting beside him. She looked him over, not concerned but quietly attentive, obviously watching him for signs of dizziness.
"Was getting kind of bored with being horizontal. Thought I'd give this a try." He shrugged. "My head is a lot better today."
"I'm glad to hear that, are you hungry?" She nodded toward the kitchen and he realised there were new cooking smells wafting from her stove.
"Definitely. If you being my nurse means I get treated like this, I might let probies knock me out with cabinet drawers more often. Did Ducky say if I could have coffee?"
"That is not an experiment I want you to repeat Tony." Ziva replied, unamused. "But yes, you may have coffee. Breakfast will be ready in about 5 minutes. Do you want to move to the table?" She added, softening.
"Sure. Stand down Ninja, I'm good." Ziva had stood quickly, ready to take his arm and guide him again, and despite his protests, walked beside him waiting till he was seated. "Really do feel a lot better now." He assured her with a trademark grin, still a little subdued. She returned to the kitchen, pouring his coffee and cracking eggs. She cooked in silence for a few more minutes, buttering thick slices of sourdough toast and serving up while Tony drank his coffee.
"This looks incredible, Ziva. What is it?" He asked when she slid a plate before him. The toast lay alongside some kind of tomatoey stew, an egg with the yolk still soft had been simmered directly in the sauce, and there was some kind of soft cheese crumbled on top. He poked gently with his fork, finding green peppers, chickpeas and eggplant pieces in there too.
"Shakshuka, it is a common breakfast dish in many parts of the world. I have taken some liberties and combined different recipes. Beteavon."
"Buon appetito!" Tony replied in kind, tucking in. They ate quietly, both hungry and the food excellent; the sauce was warming and richly spiced without being too heavy, and the sweetness of the egg yolk and creamy goat cheese mellowed it beautifully, the thick crunchy toast perfect for swiping up the last drops. "You gotta teach me how to make that." He added when they'd finished.
"Gladly. But now, I would like to talk, do you want to move to the sofa, or back to bed?" She stood and cleared the plates, rinsing them quickly in the sink, the dishwasher could wait.
"Sofa," He was still weary. "Still got a bit of a headache, but I could use a change of scenery... and a hug."
"We can manage that." She smiled, relieved he seemed well, and if she was honest, she craved the contact as much as he did. Although he made it to the couch under his own propulsion, her hand did not leave his elbow. He settled on his side, scooting back so there was room for her to lay in front of him, and she followed suit, tucking her body against his so they were spooning, his arm coming over her belly and cuddling her close.
"I missed this last night." Tony sighed, nuzzling her hair. "What was with the whole Florence Nightingale bit Zi? I'm not complaining, but I would have been fine with some takeout and being left to sleep it off."
"No. It is my turn to ask the questions." She rebutted. "You feel well enough, yes?" Now that Tony seemed to be more or less his old self, she had a long list of things to untangle.
"Go ahead." He squeezed his arm around her lightly, indicating consent.
"When you hit your head yesterday, I was worried when you did not appear to know who I was." She felt there was no sense in dancing around the issue. "However I spoke to Ducky about it. He suggested that you may not have been truthful about how seriously you were hurt. Is he correct?"
"Ahh..." Tony hesitated, she could feel his body heave a sigh behind her. "I've been an idiot Zi." He admitted after a long pause.
"I was concerned for your health, and for what it may have meant for us. Playing a game like that was not funny, Tony." Her tone left no room for argument. "It is one thing to deny our relationship for safety on the field, but it is another to think you genuinely may not know who I am."
"I'm sorry..." Tony started. Rule 6 only existed for Team Gibbs, not 'Tiva' as Abby had dubbed the pair. Apologies for them were given sincerely whenever necessary. "I know you think that I was just being a goof, playing a stupid game, but I wasn't. I was trying to protect you."
"Tony, I do not need protection. I am able to handle it when you get hurt without letting worry get in the way of protocol, we both are. Besides, faking memory loss is not going to make me worry less!" She didn't yell, trusting Ducky's assurance that he hadn't meant to be unkind, but laid it out bare all the same. "What did you think I needed to be protected from then?"
"My big mouth. I knew I wasn't all there, at least for a few seconds. I needed to make sure you wouldn't take anything I said seriously in case my words got away from me. So I played it up a bit... probably not the best way to go about it in hindsight."
"What could you have to say that you must guard so carefully?" Ziva asked.
"Plenty of things Ziva." He admitted, his words muffled by her hair.
"Tony..." Anxiety raised her tone.
"Nothing bad, Ziva. Just things that aren't... ready yet." He stroked her arm softly. "Can we agree that I covered badly, that I'm really sorry I scared you, and trust me that it's okay... just for a while at least?"
Ziva sighed heavily. They were quiet for a little while, leaning into each other and communicating without words. Ziva obviously uncertain about the knowledge Tony wasn't telling her something, he in turn willing her to believe him. "Okay, we will come back to that. Ducky mentioned something else. You have named me your next of kin on your file with NCIS. That is not something you should have been afraid to tell me."
"I wasn't afraid. I just... didn't want you reading more into it than it meant. I know it's still early days, and I didn't want you thinking I was planning a white dress, house in the suburbs and 2.5 kids or anything like that." He squeezed her again lightly, "I didn't want you to feel like I was trying to trap you."
"We have talked about assuming you know what I am thinking before Tony, it never ends well, and you would look terrible in a white dress." They both laughed. "But, I have already told you I would like to have your child one day. Surely that suggests I also see a longer future than where we are at right now?"
"Yeah, it does. I should have asked you first, strike two for Tony thinking he knows everything." He gave a rueful chuckle. "You don't mind though, I could change it back?"
"Leave it. I am... honoured is not the right word. It is an honour, but it is more than that. For you to have put on paper that I am the person to look after you, it's a big responsibility, and I am grateful that you trust me with that. I just, I would have liked to make those changes together, to add you to mine as well."
"Yeah, that would have made more sense wouldn't it? Sorry." He kissed the back of her head. "But it's not supposed to be an extra responsibility. It just makes things a bit more clear who I want looking after things if I can't."
"Yesterday you were hurt. There is responsibility in that, but one I bear gladly." She squeezed the hand that lay on her belly.
"Is that why you went above and beyond taking care of me last night? Because you think you have to?" He sounded worried. "I didn't mean for this to be some weird burden you think you have to carry."
"Yes. No. Both." She sighed. "I cared for you so thoroughly because, yes, it was now on paper that I was supposed to. I did not want to be found lacking. But on the other hand, now that you've made it clear you want me to be the one in that position, that you have chosen me. It meant that I felt I could care for you the way I would care for someone who I have chosen too, not just meeting an obligation as your colleague or your girlfriend. It wasn't duty it was..." she bit off her sentence, getting up suddenly.
"What, Zi?" Tony sat up, watching as she paced on the rug.
"You are not the only one who has words they need to guard." She muttered. "Things that are not ready to be spoken."
"Hey, come here." He rose and met her on her second lap of the coffee table. He wrapped his arms tight round her, pulling her to his chest. "There is nothing you could say that would scare me off. Whatever doomsday situation you're picturing inside that pretty skull of yours, it's not going to happen."
"But once things have been said, they cannot be unsaid, or unheard." Her voice was muffled against his chest. "The last time I wasn't careful about what I said, it did not go well."
"When you weren't...? Oh!" Realisation dawned, the cataclysmic argument they'd had the morning of the charity ball, what she'd said then, what she'd wanted to say just now. "Zi, that stupid fight was months ago. I'm not going anywhere."
"I am not going anywhere either." She promised in return, stepping back far enough to meet his eyes. "But if we keep not saying things..."
"It's gonna eat us alive knowing we're not being completely honest." He finished for her, and she nodded. "And turns out when I try to keep my mouth shut, other things come out that are probably worse. So I think I should just go ahead and say it. But first, just to double check, you're really not going anywhere?"
"Wild ponies could not drag me out of here Tony." She spoke softly, but sincerely.
"Horses, not ponies." He laughed. He drew her down to the rug, and they sat, criss-cross applesauce facing each other. He paused to take both her hands and make sure her attention was on him fully, inhaling deeply. "Now, don't think you have to say anything back if you don't want to..."
"Tony, I will decide that for myself. What do you have to say?"
"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, you walked into mine..." They both remembered his sarcastic remark in the seedy bar that had begun the whole journey they were currently on. "But I wouldn't want it any other way. Ziva David, you are my person. And listen closely now, because I'm only going to say this once. I am head over heels in love with you."
"Only once?" She choked, eyes brimming up with relief.
"Or every single day as long as you'll let me." He shrugged casually. "Whatever works for you. But I mean it. I love you."
"I love you too." She replied, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders. "And I would like to hear that every day, multiple times."
"As many times as it takes till you believe it." He leaned forward to kiss her.
"I already do." She returned the kiss. "I asked you a very long time ago, why out of everyone in the world who could have found me, did it have to be you? But I see now, that it could never have been anyone else, Tony. It's always been you, you're my person, and I love you."
"And this time, we're not taking it back?" He grinned.
"Absolutely not. I have loved you for a very, very long time. It took me a while to realise what it was, and longer to stop being too stubborn or scared to admit it. I am not taking it back now."
"How long have you...?" Even before he asked, he knew what the answer would be.
"When didn't I?" She answered with a question. "From the moment in the camp, when you said you couldn't live without me... I just didn't know what it was then. But I have ever since, through everything we've done together. From when I seduced you the night we met at the bar, to right now, here at this moment. It would be easier to ask when I did not love you than when I did, and I think if I turned the table, your answer would be much the same."
"You read me like a book, Ms David." She reached to cup his cheek, and he turned his face into her hand, kissing her palm. "I've been too scared, too stubborn, too stupid. Whatever. I've loved you for ages, and I should've said it sooner."
"Then why didn't you tell me? Is this what the charade yesterday was about?"
"Yeah," He admitted with a bashful shrug. "It's been sitting on the tip of my tongue for weeks, Ziva. Hell, I told you I wanted to have a kid with you, I'm not going to say that to someone who I think is only ok. But, I didn't want to blurt it out and mess things up. You seemed so freaked out when you thought I'd taken you seriously, that I agreed to wait, to give you time to catch up, and I promised you when we said it, that it would be real. Figured that if I said it right after taking a steel filing cabinet to the face, it would lose some credibility, the only way to keep myself from saying it was to lose control entirely."
"So the singing?" She had to know.
"Purely for McGee's benefit. Not my finest moment." Tony smirked.
"No, it wasn't. But I appreciate that you tried to make sure it was real when you said it." Ziva smiled, genuinely touched by the consideration he'd shown. "When I said it last time... you said you needed time to be sure, even though I already knew how I felt. I just didn't want you to think it was too soon. But when Ducky told me that you'd changed your file... I felt as though I could let my actions say it, even if I could not do so with my mouth."
"We're as bad as each other." Tony laughed. "So busy waiting for the other one to be ready, we forgot to actually check in. Meanwhile, ready came and went a long time ago."
"It certainly did." Ziva agreed. She leaned forward and placed a hand on each side of his face, kissing him tenderly. "But we know now. And I love you, Tony."
"It's going to be a long time before I get tired of hearing that." He grinned against her mouth. "I gotta ask Ziva. If you were in love with me back then, how come you fought so hard to keep it casual?"
"How come you did?" She challenged in return.
"Ahh, touché." He grinned. "I would have taken whatever time I could get with you, under whatever conditions you wanted. I'm crazy about you Ziva, and I wanted to be with you, whatever that looked like."
"Likewise. Even if we'd only had that one night we met at the bar, it would have been better than nothing at all. But I'm glad for what we've got instead." She kissed him again. They both groaned in frustration when Ziva's phone shrilled, interrupting another, longer kiss. She stood and retrieved it from the kitchen bench, answering quickly.
"Hello, Gibbs. He's much better. No I didn't. Yes I will. Would you like to talk to him yourself?" Ziva crossed back to where Tony still sat on the rug.
"Hey Boss." He accepted the phone.
"Back on your feet DiNozzo?" He could hear Abby in the background, asking for details.
"Yeah, Ziva's an excellent nurse. Tell Abby I'm fine."
"Good. Make sure she sleeps today. Need you both back on your game tomorrow."
"As long as Laura doesn't try and take me out again." Tony chuckled.
"Won't be an issue." Gibbs commented dryly, Tony took that to mean she was no longer working on their floor. "Hey DiNozzo…"
"Yeah, Boss?"
"You told her, didn't you?" Tony didn't need to confirm what Gibbs was asking about, of course he knew.
"Sure did." A grin split his features.
"'Bout damn time." The line cut off abruptly. Tony flipped the cell shut, and got to his feet. Ziva had disappeared, and he wandered off in search of her.
"Hey Zi, here's your phone. Gibbs knows..." He stopped mid sentence as he rounded the bedroom door. Ziva was sprawled out on top of the quilt, sound asleep after her long watch at his bedside. His own head still a little foggy, he decided another nap was in order, and settled down beside her, tucking her in and whispering goodnight.
This time, when the same sleepy words from months earlier fell from her lips he didn't need a translation, and they both knew they were for real.
"Toda, ahuvi." Thank you, my love.
A/N: They finally said it! Of course it couldn't be straight forward, but they got there in the end. Just for some clarity, I'm absolutely not shifting Ziva to a perfect 1950s housewife or anything like that. I just believe that for someone she loves and trusts as much as she does Tony, she would be very capable of a quietly attentive, nurturing bedside manner.
For newer readers, Ch 7-11 contains most of the history they're talking about here, Ziva saying I love you, the subsequent freak out and fights, and agreeing to wait until they were ready.
Did anyone guess the quote Ziva dropped? It was the Big Bang Theory, the Adhesive Duck Deficiency episode. I don't think Ziva has time for dumb blonde trope characters (which was very much Penny's earlier characterisation), but I do think she'd understand how it felt to be talking a seemingly different language to the people closest to you.
Casablanca gets a good airing this time around, the gin joint quote, as well as the names of the two "Petty Officers" Tony asks Laura to pull files for.
And finally, "'Tis but a scratch" comes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Oh, and yes, when the concussion is mild and any internal damage has been cleared, it is safe to sleep, and recommended for better recovery.
I'd love to hear from you if you're reading, please feel free to drop a review!