So, this is the end. Hope you'll enjoy it.
"I'm sorry, Kai! I'm so, so sorry-" Kai glared.
"Don't."
"Kai-"
"No." He licked his lips, warily taking a hold of Kai's scarf. Kai didn't spare him a glance.
"Kai…I'm sorry…I didn't know, I didn't-"
"Think. Again." He took a deep breath, gently loosening the hold Rei had of his scarf. "It's not your fault. It means nothing Rei…stupid rumours never do." Rei twined his fingers with Kai's, ignoring the warmth and not letting go. Ignoring Kai's questioning glance.
"And if it's more than a rumour?" Kai froze, barely aware of the pleading eyes directed at him or the magazine slowly falling to the ground from his suddenly numb fingers.
Flattered. He felt flattered, and warm inside. He didn't understand it, but once Rei's words were deciphered…there was no disgust, no appal. It left Kai lost.
If he didn't feel offended, and he didn't care other than the fact that was strangely pleased…then what? He was flattered that someone could feel that strongly about him, it made him feel self-conscious.
He vaguely remembered a shy smile and shadowed eyes filled with admiration, a gruff boy and hard eyes, unforgiving. He remembered the young boy who was almost beaten to death and his assaulter, proud, strong and seemingly larger than life. He had been appalled, his manly pride and ego had been bruised. That boy had been hospitalised for weeks.
So why didn't he feel bothered? Why this feeling of warmness and…Kai shook his head. Much like when he found out about Rei's inclinations, he was left with a small sense of confusion behaviour-wise. He could push Rei away, and hurt them both. Rei's friendship was not something he wanted to rid himself off, and he was left with a taste of disgust at the mere suggestion of hurting his friend. He liked his friend.
For now, they would remain friends. For now…
Deep down, he knew it was only a matter of time before Rei broached the subject again.
Rei swallowed, gently brushing Kai's hair. The pretence of regaining memory had long since been dropped, and now it was purely calming, enjoying, something Rei was loath to break. But it had been so long, and Kai had not once mentioned it. "Kai?" He swallowed again. "We need to talk, and-"
"No."
"Kai-"
"No."
Rei blinked, biting his lip. No what? Talk? But they needed to. Rei desperately needed to talk, and Kai…Kai was tense, far too tense, and Rei paused in the process of opening his mouth. "Are you scared of me?"
Kai didn't answer, visibly struggling against something in his mind. "…for you, yes, but not of you, no."
"Then why-?"
"I can't."
"Where did you get that?" Rei carefully swam closer to Kai, his pale body shining in the silvery moonlight reflected from the almost black water.
He cracked an eye open, lazily floating on the water. "Hm?" Rei gently touched Kai's side, fingers following the outline of a faded scar, a line whiter then his already pale skin. His hand was grabbed roughly, and Kai stopped floating abruptly, water splashing. They stared at each other silently, Rei curious, concerned, and Kai merely glaring. "It's nothing."
"Kai!"
Dark eyes flashed. "I misjudged a situation." He let go of Rei's hand. "And suffered the consequences." Instead of a hand, he found himself encircled by a warm, silky, slick body, floating as if an exception from gravitation. Legs wound themselves around his waist, and arms were suddenly around his neck, a moonlit face too close to his own, smiling softly. "Rei?"
"What situation?" A hand freed itself from his neck, trailing down his chest, through the water, finding hidden pieces of an old, partially forgotten puzzle.
Kai looked away. "It's nothing." He brought a hand up, pushing Rei back lightly by his chest. "It's late, we should-"
"-Be getting back, yeah, whatever." But Rei's curiosity was already awoken.
When he fell, Rei's heart stopped beating. He ran, all colour drained from his face and he couldn't breathe.
"Kai!"
But Kai didn't move, he continued to lie motionless on the hard concrete floor. He ran, but his feet felt immobile. They always joked about his speed, so why was he so slow? He was taking too long.
"Kai…"
His voice was clogged, and he fell in a graceless stumble beside Kai. He wrapped his arms around Kai, and pushed, but Kai barely moved. His body didn't roll onto his back. So Rei rolled with him, and Kai's head lolled bonelessly to the side, eyes closed and face far, far too pale. Rei's breath hitched, and trembling fingers traced the still face, body slowly rocking.
"You didn't have to push yourself so hard…"
Everything was swirling. A jumbled mess of colours and light. So bright. It was all so bright… Eyes opening fully, and the swirl became tangible forms and objects. The green, lush grass tickled his bare feet and neck, and he frowned softly, not knowing where he was.
Not in his room, clearly. There was no brilliant blue sky in his room, nor was there sunlight or soft grass.
"You're finally awake…" Glancing to the side, he felt an appreciative smile on his lips. His friend was always in his room though, but the beauty he acquired when surrounded by wild nature was never as profound as now. Especially when the sun shone on his face, lightening up his entire being.
"Rei…" He groaned, only now feeling his head pound in protest, and his sore, overused, limbs and muscles. Rei crouched beside him, a relieved smile on his face.
"You're okay…" He sat down, gently lifting Kai's head into his lap, tapered fingers combing through the wild hair. He laughed softly, sniffing slightly at the end. "You're really heavy, too…I only managed to drag you outside."
Kai could feel his focus waning, and his eyes fluttered close. He had never felt so relaxed in…forever. When Rei's hands softly started to massage his skull, he melted. Rei startled at Kai's breathy moan, and he smiled softly, not stopping, and softly, softly, he hummed. "…I will mangle your mind…"
"You already have, my Rei…" The neko-jin gasped, but Kai was already asleep, breathing even and steady, a contented and relaxed smile on his face.
"So basically, what you're trying to say is that I was dreaming?" Kai nodded, barely looking up from his crossword. "Twice! I know what I saw and I know what I heard!"
"…escapism?" A mumble and the soft tapping of a pen, then a curse. "…a, a-b-acus…? Hm…" Some more tapping. "Rei-! What-? Stop it!" A struggled ensued, its end marked by several soft, plastic sounding clatters on the hardwood floor.
Rei glared, pushing Kai back, sitting astride his lap. "Am I dreaming now too, then?" Kai held his shirt together, not looking at Rei.
"Just get off."
"I- No, Kai. What happened?" He touched Kai's shoulder softly. "I-" He shook his head, then started to unbuckled his belt. The sharp sound of a fly being opened caused the Russian to turn his head sharply around. Rei tugged his trousers along with his underwear down, exposing his hip. "When I was a kid, I ran into broken fence." Kai glanced down, eyebrows twitching, crossing his arms. "So, unless your parents couldn't afford to fix your fence…" He trailed off.
Kai glared at Rei's bellybutton. "I don't remember, alright?" He narrowed his eyes, and uncrossed his arms, poking one finger experimentally on the bulging navel. The neko-jin giggled, squirming, batting Kai's finger away.
"Don't do that…tickles, Kai! Stop it-! Kai!"
"Can I go…out?" A shrug. "I mean, out, you know? I want to-" Rei grinned weakly at Kai's penetrating stare, left eyebrow raised. "There's this new place, and it opens tonight, and I thought, you know, maybe I could go." He scratched his arm subconsciously. "And then I realised you'd probably want to know first."
"Hn."
Rei shrugged. "Whatever. A friend of mine's picking me up later. I'll go take a shower." He gasped as Kai twisted him roughly, faster than it took for him to turn around in the first place.
"A gay bar?" Rei nodded. "What friend?" The last word as pronounced choppily.
"Just a friend. Don't worry, he's not like that. He's polite and friendly." Kai tightened his hold on Rei's arm, frowning. "It bothers you." Kai's frowned deepened.
"I don't like it." Kai swallowed. "Your friend-"
"It's the one from…when you found out." Rei smiled, small and comfortingly. "He's not going to beat me." Lowering his voice without realising it, he continued, albeit a bit more hesitantly. "He's…with someone." He made a gesture with his head, then brought a finger to his lips, hushing and winking. "We'll just take a couple of drinks and talk. I can't exactly…dance." Kai nudged his chest gently, nodding.
Rei's friend, Kai decided, was the most loud, exuberant, childish, naïve person he'd ever had the unfortunate…pleasure of meeting. His friend, Kai decided, he had not seen this relaxed, content and genuinely happy since the picture Mao had shown him once of a three year old Rei.
He startled slightly as someone suddenly flung their arms around him from behind. One hand covered his eyes, and melodious giggles sounded right next to his ear. "Surprise, Kai-kun!" He seated himself in Kai's lap, giggles dying down, morphing into a smile. "The bartender's checking you out." He leaned in closer to Kai's ear, lowering his voice. "And this really persistent guy's been following me all night."
Kai blinked, looking at the young bartender, who was staring in dismay at the neko-jin in his lap. "I didn't notice." Rei swallowed his drink, putting the glass back down.
"No?" He held up the glass again. "You paid for this?"
Kai shook his head. "The bartender gave it to me." He watched as Rei drank it, biting absentmindedly on the green straw, big eyes staring at him expectantly. "You can have it." Rei grinned.
"Thanks." Another sip, and he pressed the straw to Kai's lips. Kai shook his head, blowing the straw back around. "No?" He mumbled around the straw, eyes sparkling with mischief.
Kai stared at him suspiciously. "What?"
"Nothing…just…" Rei leaned closer, tenderly brushing his thumb on Kai's cheek. "…eyelash." Kai glanced down at Rei's finger, then back up, swallowing thickly as the neko-jin suddenly seemed to be much closer.
"Rei…?" A small smile, and soft, warm hands held his face, a nose lightly touching his own. Kai opened his mouth again, only to have his breath stolen.
Kai hugged his knees closer to himself and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the sounds around him. The birds and the wind rustling the trees, the children playing and the cheesy music coming from the ice-cream parlour just ahead of the next couple of trees. It didn't work. Everything just reminded him of what he was trying to escape, and he was starting to suspect that perhaps the park wasn't the best place to hide in when you wanted to run away.
He hadn't been alone in his bed when he woke-up that morning. That alone wasn't unusual, Rei snuck in with him whenever he was cold, but this morning had been…different. Kai had woken up in his shirt from yesterday, unbuttoned but still the same one, and his underwear.
Rei had only been wearing his underwear.
He hadn't been drunk. Kai didn't like drinking, so when he drank, it was only because it tasted good. A glass of wine or a drink or some cider. Which meant that he remembered, and Rei hadn't been drunk either.
It was like everything, his inhibitions and shields had been destroyed, like that time when he pushed himself to the brink of exhaustion trying to escape, and passed out. And he saw Rei. And Rei was beautiful, loving and simply wonderful.
He was probably hurt and worried by now, too. Kai hadn't even left a note. Just, run away.
Kai swallowed thickly. This morning…he remembered. He had fallen for a man once, his tutor in school. A boy several years older with a harsh, judgemental temperament. Kai had only been twelve at the time, but he wasn't the same after the hospital released him. And he destroyed something inside, making himself forget. Until now.
He could hear someone walking cautiously on the grass in front of him, hear them sitting next to him, feel a tentative hand rest on his knee. He could almost imagine the shining eyes in his mind.
"I didn't know you wore glasses, Kai."
Kai shrugged, opening his eyes. "I couldn't bother with lenses earlier."
"Oh." Rei stared in front of himself, at the cat prowling on the pathway. "Are you…alright?"
Kai closed his eyes again, breathing in the fresh air. "It's peaceful here, don't you think?"
"Kai…" The hand on his knee tightened. "I'm…sorry."
"Are you? Even though you wanted it? Me?" Rei bit his lip.
"How can you be so calm?" Kai didn't answer, silently waiting for Rei to continue. "I-…no. I don't suppose I am. But I took advantage of you. I shouldn't have, and for that I'm sorry."
"No you didn't. I did that myself…I had to know."
"Kai?" The Russian shrugged, slowly, and slightly painfully stretching out one of his legs, wincing as the muscles protested. Rei's hand slipped down on his thigh, inches away from Kai's, the other resting on his still bent knee.
"I'm an expert at lying to myself…didn't you know? I could've pushed you away at least a hundred times by now."
"Kai…" Kai leaned his head on the arm resting against his knee, opening his eyes, staring at the canopy of greens and yellow above them.
"Are you hungry?" Rei looked as if he was going to protest. "I won't believe you if you say no. I know you." The neko-jin bit his lip, resigned.
"I am." Kai stared at Rei's shoulder, not saying anything. Then he shook his head, smiling gently. Taking Rei's hand in his own, he slowly stood up, his knees protesting.
"Come on." Rei stood up as well, very much aware of the ever so slightly shaking hand in his own.
"Where-?"
"Home. My parents wanted to see me before we go to Berlin."
Rei laughed softly, leaning his head on Yuriy's shoulder. "Seriously?"
"Mm." The Russian laughed in spite of himself. "Knee socks, blouse, a plaited skirt… it was freaky!"
"So, did he wear it?"
"Hn. No, I think he burned it. It wounded his manly ego."
"Poor Boris…his fans are so crazy." The neko-jin giggled, scooting up closer to his friend. "Maybe they wanted you to wear them for him…"
"Rei!" The redhead look scandalised, but Rei just continued to laugh.
"Sorry…I'm just really tired. What's taking him so long anyway?" He yawned. "I want a bed…"
"Not Kai?"
Rei smirked, fang poking out. "Well, him too." He winked. "But he comes with the bed."
"You mean-?"
"What? No, he's…thinking, I believe he said." Yuriy raised an eyebrow, frowning.
"And?"
Rei sighed, closing his eyes, head resting against the much taller teen's shoulder. "…I don't know…"
Kai sighed, staring with a sour expression at the ceiling. Last time all the teams met up together, the Bai Fu Zu didn't want anything to do with their former friend and team-mate. This time, they were swarming him like bees attracted to honey.
"Kai!"
"Hm…?" He turned lazily, staring almost bored at the hissing neko-jin attached to his arm.
"Get me out of here." A shaking finger was directed at the Chinese team. "They think they can cure my supposed illness by marrying me off to some woman!" Kai coughed, eyes widening, his stomach churning with an emotion he didn't recognise. He gently pried the hand gripping his arm off, absentmindedly interlacing the neko-jin's fingers with his own.
"You don't-"
"No! Of course not! How could that possibly work!" Rei shook his head, cheeks slightly flushed. And then he noticed the strong grip on his hand, the strange look in Kai's eyes. "…Kai?" The Russian smirked gently, then nodded towards the tables in the far end of the room.
"I'm thirsty, come on." He tugged on Rei's hand, but the neko-jin remained stationary. "Rei?"
"Kiss me." Kai's eyes widened significantly, but, Rei decided, not in contempt or fear. Not that Kai would admit to being afraid. "Your hand isn't shaking, and you're looking into my eyes." He softly repeated his request. "Kiss me." Kai's eyes flashed with something too fast for Rei to notice, and before he had the chance to react, soft lips crashed down onto his own.
Rei gasped softly for breath when they pulled apart, licking his slightly swollen lips. Arms resting around the Russian's neck, he giggled in spite of himself, and he rested his forehead against Kai's. "Baka. I didn't mean here and now." Dazed eyes seemed to sharpen instantly, and he hastily let go, abruptly stepping away from Rei.
A gentle hand landed on his shoulder, and Kai turned to see one of his fellow Russian's staring down at him. A key was pressed into his hand, and blue eyes twinkled. "My room is considerably closer." He stared over Kai's shoulder. "Chances are you'll reach it before they snap out of their stupor."
"Kai…" Rei gasped quietly, fumbling for the knob behind him, and turning it, locking the door. He grasped Kai's hands, holding them in his own, and tilted his head back. Kai growled, moving after the tempting, soft lips. "Wait. Stop, please." Kai growled again, but took a step backwards.
"Kai-"
"Rei-"
The neko-jin grinned, nodding at Kai to continue. "You said I could kiss you." Kai smirked, about to do so again, when Rei, yet again, much to Kai's frustration, spoke up.
"Why? If it's because I'm available, you know where the door is."
"I-…it's not." Kai gently stroked Rei's cheek, planting a soft, formal kiss on his lips. "You're beautiful." Rei smiled brightly.
"You think?" Kai smiled, nodding. "Do you love me?" The Russian took a surprised step backwards, hastily letting go of Rei. Rei's face fell, and he sighed. "I shouldn't have-"
"Rei…?" The neko-jin shook his head, walking over to sit on the bed, and Kai fell quiet. He never thought about that. He never considered it, but… Slowly moving over, he sat next to the neko-jin, kissing a cheek that didn't want to acknowledge him. "I like you." Rei smiled, glancing at Kai from the corner of his eye.
"I know. Me too." He licked his lips. "I didn't mean to say that." Turning around to face Kai, his smile widened. "I know you always mean what you do."
"I know." Kai smiled slightly, eyes sparkling. "And I know you don't always think." Rei gasped loudly, pretending to be offended.
"How can you say that!" Kai grinned, teeth flashing, raising an eyebrow. Reaching out, he poked Rei's sides, making his beautiful friend's face scrunch up in laughter, the melodious, rich sound vibrating off the walls.
Hands reaching out in protest, bodies wrestling, shirts coming loose and unbuttoned, until… Rei blinked, staring down at Kai, his laughter dying.
Kai smiled gently, reaching up to tuck Rei's hair behind his ear, hand trailing down his neck, softly stroking the revealed chest, coming to a stop on a perfect hip.
"Because I know you…" Rei smiled, almost shyly, before leaning down and kissing the Russian he'd wanted for so long. Pulling back slightly, he whispered:
"I'm glad…"
Ignoring the glares aimed at his back, the Russian made his way inside, wordlessly closing the door behind him. He knew, that perhaps by locking everyone out, he would only worsen the situation for the ones still in the ignorant bliss of sleep.
The redhead sighed. Maybe it had been a lack of his judgement to give his bedroom away for the night. Perhaps it would have been wiser to act his merciless, cold bastard play out.
Shaking his head, he allowed a soft smile to play on his lips, causing Boris to raise an eyebrow in silent questioning. No, he thought, silently agreeing with his inner self. He had done the right thing. Rei knew him far too well anyway.
Pausing, he hesitantly unlocked his door, peeking inside. He grinned at the sight. Gently closing the door, protecting their happiness, he turned around. He took a surprised step back when he came face to face with a Russian far closer than he expected.
"Two naked people in bed together doesn't necessarily mean sex's involved, Yuriy." Boris smirked, obviously amused, moving away from Yuriy and sitting back down on the couch across the room. "Makes for a pretty strong case though." The redhead laughed, shaking his head.
"That it does…that it does." Walking after him, he smirked, seating himself astride Boris' lap. Leaning forwards to whisper in his ear, he softly bit down on the lobe, causing the paler Russian to breathe in sharply. "Did you really burn it?"
He wondered how it felt, what Rei had done to him had been…pleasure out of this world. But, Rei, had he felt so special and warm and… He squirmed, uncomfortable and unaccustomed to the heat rising in his face. Rei had…seemed to like it. Kai coughed, ears turning red. A bit more than that, actually. The neko-jin had sharp…claws.
Then he sighed, looking down at the slumbering being resting gently beside him. Head resting so close to his own, sharing the same pillow. Kai smiled, a small, soft movement of his lips. Shared pillow. Somehow, after everything, a shared pillow was so much more…meaningful. It wasn't just a bed or covers. It was a pillow. Soft and warm, comfortable. Inviting and- Kai licked his suddenly dry lips, gently tracing the outline of Rei's bare side revealed from the protectiveness of the cover until only moments ago. Such divine beauty…
"It's only now, looking back, I see how you patched through my walls and entered my life…in waves…" Rei stirred slightly, eyelids fluttering at Kai's quiet murmur. He sighed, allowing his hand to rest on Rei's slim hip, and he closed his eyes.
How he could've been so blind… Rei had probably known all along, and-
"Kai, please stop moving…" He blinked his eyes open, glancing at Rei before turning around, presenting the neko-jin with his back. "Kai?"
"Hn." Rei had probably known, he was intuitive like that, and- The Russian found himself lying on his back, a frustrated neko-jin hovering above him, confusion standing out amongst the myriad of emotions swirling in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Kai turned his head away, eyes closing, not saying anything. He heard Rei growl. Then bit back a curse as he was punched hard on his chest. "Damnit Kai! I don't care, I'll kill you if you dare turn back now! You bloody coward!"
"I'm not a coward Rei."
"Then what is it?" Kai turned around again.
"How long did you know about me and didn't say anything?"
Rei hissed, turning around himself, lying back to back with Kai. "I didn't bloody know! I had suspicions; you never pushed me away! You could've just as easily been straight and had an overly touching and brotherly affection towards me."
"What makes you think that's not what I feel? Maybe-"
"Because you just gave me a bloody blow-job, Kai!"
Kai shifted, holding back a smile. "You swear an awful lot when you're frustrated, my Rei." He traced Rei's spinal cord, gently dragging his fingers up and down. "To be honest, I don't know how I feel…it's just…to right to be wrong." His hands stilled as Rei turned around, taking hold of his hands with his own and holding them tightly. "Will you be terribly annoyed with me for being human?"
And that's that.
R&R, please. And thank you to those that already reviewed to my last chapters.