Ryker suddenly opened his eyes, drawing air into his lungs as if he hadn't been breathing for hours. He had passed out in the Strauss' bathroom. He got up and leaned against the sink and looked in the mirror his disheveled and haggard form, breathing deeply and frenetic pace.
"It's getting worse," he told himself.
He turned on the tap and took some cold water with his hands and washed his face, staying there until he calmed down. He went back to his room and went straight to his backpack, where he kept his medicines, which had also become his addiction, and took everything from antidepressants, antipsychotics, strong pain relievers, stimulants and more, in addition to smoking a string of cigarettes. Now he was ready to face the day.
He found Mira in the kitchen, and looked more dejected today.
"Good morning," she said sweetly.
"Morning, Mira," he said tiredly and dejected.
"Did something happen? You look a little tired, " she said with concern.
"Nothing much. I just ... I didn't get a good night 's sleep ", he gave a forced singing smile.
"Well, today we are going to see some houses, so you have to be willing", and she made her beautiful smile face.
"I'll be".
So the two have their breakfast, making small talk, and went to the guild. It was true that they would find somewhere for the soldier wizard to live, but first they would have to open the guild and clean the hall. Because nobody worked that early.
Around 10 a.m., when there were enough people in the guild and had other people to get the job, that the two wizards decided it was time to leave for their mission.
"Kinana! Laki! Take care of the bar. Ryker and I are going out for a while to see some apartments. Anything Lisanna can help you with, " Mira said as she walked around the counter and went to her partner's side.
"Of course Mira, you can leave it to us," Laki said with a mischievous smile on his face.
"Have fun," Kinana said waving at the two as they left the guild hall.
Everyone in the guild, which was deathly quiet, was staring at them. Ryker couldn't help but notice something strange about it all and he looked to the side and saw Mira blushing heavily.
"Is everything okay Mira?" .
"Yea".
"You're sure? You look like a chili because ... ".
"Yes I am! Now let's go ! " , she said interrupting and taking his arm and running out as fast as she can, pulling her companion along. He didn't understand anything and was confused by all that.
When they left, the silence that had taken over the guild was broken and the gossip took over everything and everyone.
For hours, Mira and Ryker walked around the city, visiting houses, apartments and everything else he could rent. Some were too big, others too small, some were ideal, but they were too expensive. It was very complicated for them to find a decent place. Both magicians even forgot about lunch. Finally they decided to stay between two, both not far from the guild.
After a long time they decide to go to a nearby café.
"Ah! I'm exhausted! I never thought that looking for an apartment would be so difficult!", Ryker complains, throwing himself into the café chair.
Mira looks at him smiling, as if nothing is shaking her.
"How can you be like that !? It seems that nothing affects you ", he asked indignantly at the attitude of his companion.
"I just try to see life in a more positive and happy way."
"It's your luck," he says harshly.
At this moment the waitress arrives asking what they would want.
"Strong black coffee and ... and cheese bacon," Ryker asked.
"I want apple juice and grilled salmon, please."
"Yes, in an instant", the waitress took her orders and left.
She went to the counter to deliver the orders, another worker looked at her who had a strange expression on her face. "It's everthing ok?", she asked.
"Uh! Oh yes, " she replied.
"Is that you have a face..."
"Is nothing... ! It's just that guy sitting there, with the white-haired girl, " the waitress said, pointing with her face to where Ryker and Mira were sitting talking.
"What about him?" .
"The eyes, they scare me," she said nervously.
"And why is that?", the other attendant asked jokingly.
"They have no life. That guy ... looks like he has no soul, it's scary ", the waitress said trembling.
At the Fairy Tail magicians' table, Ryker and Mira talked. "So which one do you prefer?", she says, taking the magician out of his annoyance.
"Yeah, I'm not sure. Both are good, they are relatively close to the guild, but at a considerable distance, which would guarantee my privacy and tranquility ", the magician says thoughtfully.
"You have to choose one".
"I know," he said, a little annoyed. "But it's just ...", he sighed, "... I never had a place of my own. It is difficult to choose. To think that from now on I will live alone is ... strange".
"You can continue to live with us. I ... we like your company. I'm sure my little brothers wouldn't mind having you as a guest, " Mira said.
"Don't, don't get me wrong Mira. I want to live alone, I want to have a corner of my own, you know. Have a little privacy, " he said in the most calm and peaceful way in the world, not wanting his partner to get it wrong. He didn't want her to think he didn't want to live with her and his brothers anymore. Which was not true.
"I understand," she said in resignation. "Why have you never had a place of your own?", she said in true curiosity. She wanted to know more about the past and who her friend was.
Her companion stared at her for some time, his brows furrowed and thoughtful. "I, I was military where I came from, which means that I always shared the spaces that I was with a lot of people. It was a necessity. You know, in the military world you don't have a lot of privacy, or a lot of freedom. It was only in the last year that I had a little more privacy, but even so it was just a room in a tenement, so it kind of doesn't count ".
"I had no idea that you were in the army," the magician said with some astonishment. "I always thought you were some kind of wizard."
"There is not so much difference in the truth, just in the way we train and how we organize. But in fact I use magic, only at home this is done by the army, let's say so", he said with a slight crooked smile.
She thought there was more to that story than he wanted to tell. Talking about his past was very painful, something he always avoided. Even though they talked about it a while ago, the reality was that her friend had not evolved in this regard, and it was frustrating for her.
The waitress came back with the magicians' orders. She put what they had ordered on her table and they both started to eat. It was always interesting to see how Ryker enjoyed the food, and in a way it always made Mirajane happy, despite the weight in her heart. She wasn't sure what he had been through, but she could imagine that hunger, or at least, food restriction, for him to always attack anything like that.
They finished eating, with great satisfaction, after all they had nothing in their belly until then. They decided to stay at the cafe and set up the apartment soon.
"So, what will it be?", Mira asked.
Ryker rested his head on his hand in a thoughtful and bored expression. "The best apartment is bigger and has two rooms. I don't need this, besides the rent being more expensive. The other is smaller and not so good, but it is ideal for me and the rent seems to be fair ". He stopped for a while thinking and reflecting. "That's it! I'm going to keep the smaller apartment."
Mira gave him a smile and an affectionate look, clapping in front of his chest, glad for the choice. "Okay, so just go to the tenant and set things right."
"It can be, the sooner the better".
She looks at him and notices that her companion's right hand is shaking, she widens her eyes in concern, staring at it. She had never witnessed it. "Ryker, your hand ...".
He looks at where the white-haired woman was pointing and notices her trembling, immediately he holds her hand with the other. "This is nothing," he says.
"But, your hand was shaking. It can't be anything, " she says worriedly.
"Yes, yes, it is ... just nervousness, don't worry", he tries to reassure her, but his tone was not at all reassuring. He makes a sign asking for the bill.
The waitress from before goes to them and hands them the bill, which Mira pays. They were getting up to go to the chosen place to close a deal, but the soldier wizard, when getting up, loses his balance and has to lean on the table. Mira tries to help, but he makes a sign with his hand saying that everything is fine.
"Ryker, you don't look well. Don't you want to rest? We can go and talk to him tomorrow ", the magician says with legitimate concern.
"I already said I'm fine," he replies angrily. "I just got up too fast. And I want to get this over with. "
Mira nods, but doesn't agree with the situation.
"Damn it! This is getting worse, the drugs are not having the same effect as before, " he thought as they walked to the apartment. "I have to fix this before it gets out of control. Maybe something stronger. Well, I'll see that later. Later I'll stop by the drugstore".
They arrive at the apartment and talk to the owner of the place closing a deal. Now, definitely Ryker, he had his own place to live. Something he would do immediately, even though he had no furniture in the house, just a full kitchen, but he could sleep on the floor for today, or for a few days, until he bought a bed, which he would do the next day.
Three days passed, Ryker got his bed, a sofa and a table and chairs for the kitchen, he didn't know why, but he thought a kitchen had to have them. His home was not large, but it was fine with him. A living room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom and a service area, all at a cost of $80,000 Jewels month. As he had made good money from his last job, he was financially relaxed for now. That was not what bothered him.
He had his privacy, he was quiet in his corner, which made it look like everything had gotten worse in a way. With no other people to occupy his ears, only the demons in his mind spoke to him. For hours he spent looking at pictures of his old friends, who were no longer with him. Yes, that orb that he had with him was a type of computer lacrima activated by magic, it contained numerous files, such as photos, sounds, videos. And they were designed in holograms.
Every night he activated his lacrima and watched his friends for hours, standing there, tormenting himself for having failed to save them. He needed to occupy his mind with other things, the loneliness was good, but it also brought the demons he tried to hide. And the remedies, each day, were less effective.