Little White Lies

Map of the Problematique

Haley

"Is that everything?"

Nathan nods at my question and slams down the car boot. He still isn't talking to me. Well, outside of grunts and 'yeah's. I take a deep breath and throw myself into the passenger seat. Nathan's driving me to Charlotte, and then I have to get the bus so that we don't arrive together. I mean, how weird would that look, after everything Nathan's done to me. Well, everything Nathan has supposedly done to me. I cringe at the thought.

I mean, Nathan has every right to be mad. We're going to get home and I'm going to be treated like some kind of victim and Nathan is going to get nothing but abuse. I can tell it's really upsetting him that none of our friends have phoned him to see how he is. They've all just assumed that Nathan can actually do something like that, and it makes me feel about a billion times worse. All I've been wishing for the past week is for someone - anyone - to ring him up and ask for his side of the story.

Nathan gets into the drivers seat and takes a deep breath. I put my hand on his and thank God when he doesn't shake it off. He doesn't look at me either, and I say something that I've said about a million times over the past week. "I'm really sorry," I tell him. "I got carried away."

Nathan gives a half smile and lifts his hand up to start the car. "Understatement of the century," He says. "That's like saying Hitler was a little eccentric."

Hey! He's talking to me. That's an improvement. I take my hand back and look at him, not wanting to look away in case he breaks down and actually looks at me. Something he's been avoiding all week. He doesn't give in, just stares ahead and starts the car.

"What can I do?" I ask out of sheer exasperation. "I'll do anything if it means you're okay with me again." Nathan shrugs.

"Nothing. It's fine. We're supposed to be broken up anyway so it's better this way. Very little acting required."

I sigh and stare straight ahead. This feeling is awful. I just want Nathan to smile at me. Just once. I look at my cell phone and decide to do something drastic.

"What are you doing?" Nathan asks. I put my finger to my lips as Lucas answers the phone. He rang me the other day asking if everything was alright, and if I wanted him to beat Nathan up for me. I thanked him for the offer but told him absolutely not.

"Lucas," I start, but I don't get far because Nathan reaches out and grabs the cell phone, pressing the 'end call' button.

"What are you doing?" he asks, finally looking my way. "Ringing to tell him that I raped your pony too?"

I stare at Nathan and feel my eyes water. "No! I… I was ringing to tell him that this whole thing was a load of crap! I'm sick of it being like this between us Nathan, and if this is how it's going to be all Winter then forget it! I'm not going to let us be this way."

Nathan takes a deep breath and stares back at the road. "Don't." That's all he says. Just 'don't', like I'm a dog or something. I sit back and stare out of the window, feeling miserable.

Well, that didn't work at all. Nathan is still being really icy with me. With a huge sigh I turn to Nathan. We've been driving for about an hour now and in that whole time, Nathan has not said one iota to me.

"You know," I say, deciding to throw the completely insane idea that has been rolling around in my head out there. "Maybe I could ring Brooke and tell her that the only reason you cheated on me was to get back at me for cheating on you first? With a team mate?"

Nathan raises and eyebrow but still doesn't look away from the road. Oh damn him and his responsible driving!

"Haley, I thing your love for amateur dramatics got us into this mess in the first place. How about you don't make it any worse?" He says like an automaton.

Great. I look out of the window and watch the green roll past in blurry chunks. Oh, how the hell did we get into this mess?

"I love you."

I turn to Nathan and stare at him open-mouthed. He's not looking at me and I'm almost tempted to believe that I was hearing things. Except… I wasn't. Was I? Nathan proves I wasn't when he slips his hand over mine. I sigh in relief and grip his hand, almost screaming with joy when he squeezes back.

"I can't believe you would even think of doing that," he says, shaking his head again but with a smile on his face. "You know we'd both be treated like whores, right?"

I laugh. "Well, at least we'd be treated like whores together. Besides, I hate the thought of everyone thinking badly about you when you've been absolutely perfect. An absolutely perfect husband."

Nathan laughs again and tightens his grip on my hand. "As long as you know it, then I'm happy." I'm so relieved that he's stopped being icy to me that I fling my arms around his shoulders and bury my face in his shirt, smelling him. God, I've missed that smell. Nathan kisses the top of my head but doesn't take his hands from the steering wheel.

"I've missed you," I say softly, and start crying when he says it back.

Right. Charlotte. I look up at the bus depot and try to figure out which bus I should be getting into Tree Hill. God, why are timetables always so complicated? And I'm good at math. Ugh.

I think I've figured it out, and go to stand at the relevant place. As soon as I get there I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Haley James?"

I turn and see Sam Cooper. He used to go to Tree Hill High, and was a fellow tutor. "Sam?" I ask, and feel myself pulled into a huge hug. "Uh… hi," I say when he lets me go. I mean, I like the guy and everything, but we're not close enough for hugs. Especially since I haven't seen him since Graduation.

"Wow. You look great," Sam says, obviously having read somewhere that this is what you say to friends you haven't seen in a while.

"Thanks," I say, and add "you too," as an afterthought. I look at the clock impatiently.

"You're going to Tree Hill? Why are you getting the bus?" Sam asks now. "I thought you went to college with Nathan Scott."

"Oh, I…" I what? I lied to all of my friends and so I'm pretending that we broke up? "We broke up," I say, trying it out for size. Besides, if I told him me and Nathan were dating then he'd probably tell everyone else, and then there would be major confusion. Yeah, probably not a good idea.

"What?" Sam says now, looking genuinely grieved. "No way! You two were so perfect together."

"That's what everybody says," I say, unable to keep the smile off my face. Sam doesn't seem to notice.

"Man, that sucks. Look, so you want to sit with me on the bus, since we're going to the same place and all?"

I look at the clock and nod. "Sure, that would be great." It wouldn't of course, but the other people here are even less appealing. If I had to sit next to anyone, it would be Sam.

Ah, home sweet home. Tree Hill is exactly as I left it. I step out onto the wet pavement and immediately see Brooke waving like an idiot. She runs over and pulls me into a tight hug.

"Tutor Girl! I've missed you! Nathan's here already and Lucas Is grilling him. I can't believe what he did to you! But we can talk later. Actually, we can talk now because we're going to Karen's Café. We'll leave your bags and stuff in my car."

My head reels at Brooke's speedy speech. "Wait… Lucas is grilling Nathan? Oh I hope he's not being too hard on him…"

Brooke pulls a face. "Uh… Why? Nathan was a jerk to you, shouldn't you be wanting Lucas to pound him into the ground? I'm still finding this really hard to believe actually."

I'm about to tell Brooke that there's two sides to every story, and that Nathan would so win Lucas in a fist fight, but Sam appears with my luggage and I remember that Nathan was supposed to have cheated on me, and acting like I'm fighting his corner isn't a great idea.

"I got your bags," Sam says, holding up my red canvas holdall and black rucksack.

"Thanks," I say through gritted teeth, annoyed that I'm going to be spending this whole holiday lying to my friends and desperate to call Nathan and ask if we should reconsider.

"Hi," Brooke greets. "Are you Haley's friend from Duke?" The way she says friend makes me cringe.

"It's Sam Cooper from school," I say. "We met at the bus station in Charlotte when we had to swap over."

"Oh," Brooke says, having the decency to look a little embarrassed. "Oh yeah!" She clearly doesn't remember him.

"Can we go to the car?" I ask, still annoyed. Brooke nods and picks up my rucksack. "Thanks for the company," I tell Sam as I follow after her with my holdall.

"No problem," Sam says back. "We should meet up sometime for a drink or something."

"Uh," I start, getting ready to say I'd love to, but I can't.

"Of course she will," Brooke cuts in instead. She turns to me and says, "He's just what you need to forget about Nathan."

"But I don't want to forget about Nathan," I protest, forgetting that we're supposed to be broken up. Damn, I'm going to have to keep myself in check otherwise I'll be bragging about the size of my wedding ring in no time.

"Of course you do," Brooke says with an air of authority about her as she passes my number to Sam. "He cheated on you with your roommate. Of course you need to forget about him."

Oh boy. This is going to be a long week.