What really was strongly hinted at in the Harry Potter-verse is Dumbledore's troubled and tragic past, especially his close friendship with Grindelwald. After that famous duel what happens between Gellert's life sentence and Albus' demise (more than 50 years)? Grindelwald escaped from MACUSA's high security prison before, what is stopping him from leaving Numengard Castle? That was his home after all. Could Dumbledore sever all ties with Grindelwald so easily?

This is a parody piece, expect possible shenanigans not worthy of dignified dark wizards and their academically-inclined arch-nemesis.

End 1945

Autumn 1945

Dear Albus (you backstabbing snake)

I suppose I have you to thank for my current state.

Firstly, I demand a rematch. That duel was not fairly conducted as evidenced by the all-too-convenient interruption by your bird. You have made a mockery of a thousand years of wizard-duelling history. I cannot believe that the wizarding world at large accepted the outcome as valid. How did you expect me to aim properly with that feather-duster flapping about?

Secondly, there was that matter of my trial – my extremely biased trial. Whose idea was that Silencio charm? The Supreme Mugwump? Wait, that's you now, isn't it? I suppose you filled in after Madame Santos' unfortunate encounter with a Chupacabra. Am I not entitled to speak in my own defence before a jury of my peers? I would have convinced them to see things my, no, our, way. Instead, you gave that job to that milksop Muggle-hugging Pin-Brain Black and he naturally threw me to the werewolves figuratively.

Thirdly, I wish to lodge a complaint about my current lodgings. The place is freezing even in summer. And the décor is horrid. Yes, I know it is a prison, but surely some warmth would not be amiss. And maybe do away with the bars? I would prefer somewhere less remotely located, perhaps the Erkstag? It is right in the heart of Berlin. I understand it has excellent room service. Nothing like the threat of random death to keep a wizard occupied. I am dying of boredom here and it has only been a month!

Hating you always

Grindelwald

P.S. Please send Auntie my love. I miss her gingerbread so.

24 December 1945

Dear Gellert

Apologies for the tardy response as I have been extremely busy cleaning up your mess these past months. Ah, such is the responsibilities of the acting Supreme Mugwump. Seriously, they gave you one letter a year and you waste it all on little old me? I am so touched. Your Auntie Bathilda, not so. Still, she has sent your favourite fruitcake. She wishes to reassure you that she still loves you, even though you have been a very naughty little boy.

You seem to be gravely mistaken on several points.

Firstly, the duel's outcome is fair and stands. Ask your former wand (you know which one we refer to). I had nothing to do with Fawkes appearing like he did. We got to know each other better after the whole event but I reassure that was the first time I ever saw him. I was just as surprised as you were. Only I did not trip and fall flat on my face after getting hit by a hex. Focus is so important in a duel, don't you think, my friend? Or were you too busy as a Seer trying to figure out my next move? I suppose you also forgot that old family legend of mine about phoenixes. Getting into a death-duel counts as dire need, doesn't it?

Secondly, though we cannot prove it as of now, that Chupacabra incident has your grubby prints all over it. Does the name Antonio ring a bell? Newt wanted to keep him, but he kept going after Abe's goats. We set up him up to guard a wizard prison in Cuba with a few friends. And no, we are not transferring you to the sunny Caribbean.

About that trial, on the grounds of our long friendship I have tried to set it up to be as neutral as possible. However, you seem to have a perchance for rubbing the jurors, the judge and even your own lawyer the wrong way from the moment you chose to open your mouth. One can hardly blame our friends at MACUSA for cutting your tongue out the first time round. The spell was for your benefit.

Do you have any inkling how hard it was to find twelve of your peers who have not suffered in some way thanks to you and your dear acolytes? Then you chose to interrupt the proceedings by questioning their integrity and attacking their characters. Nigel Shacklebolt had agreed to make up the numbers and you had to bring up the fact his sister was killed on your orders. What did old Artie Ross do to deserve getting provoked into a heart attack? So what if they are almost squibs or are Muggleborn? You had to call the judge a mudblood of all things. Did it escape your notice he was Perry Fawley? Pinny Black reassured me that you are the worst client he ever had the misfortune of defending and one of the rare ones he will actively recommend for the death penalty despite his distaste for the barbaric practice. Are you really that enamoured of death by manticore? Or was that your master plan all along to get a death sentence passed?

We are not buying the insanity angle as from where things stand, you were never insane – only sadly deluded.

Lastly, I am surprised Nurmengard is not to your liking seeing it was your home to start with. What happened to the fine fireplaces Aurelius mentioned and the plush carpeting? Wait, did you remodel the entire place after he left? You can only blame yourself then. As much as the judge and jury would like to toss you into the German bed and breakfast you are so fond of, it was not possible. In case it escaped your notice, the Muggles were having their own war and Berlin for want of a better word, razed to the ground. Erkstag will not be accepting any guests for the time being due to lack of waiting manticores. We have learned manticores are not impervious to the new type of Muggle firebombs. The British Ministry of Magic declined to house you in Azkaban. Where they are concerned, you are crazy enough without added Dementor exposure. They also declined the request by the Austrian authorities for Dementors to be assigned to guard you. No Kisses for you.

For old times' sake, I wrote into to request that your Auntie be allowed to communicate with you and send you regular care packages. Also, the limitation on the number of letters will be lifted so long as you do not in any way try to contact any of your followers still on the run. I have sent with this letter envelopes, writing paper and stationery. All Muggle, of course. Do not even try magicking them.

Do not abuse my trust. I mean it.

Merry Christmas.

Albus Dumbledore

Acting Supreme Mugwump

P.S. What is it about your aunt's fruitcake? It weighs heavier than it should. Are there pebbles in there in place of dried fruit?

31 December 1945

Dear Gellert

Tis the season for goodwill and you are sorely testing mine.

What was this report from our friends in Austria involving a file fashioned from your Auntie's fruitcake, prison bars and an attempt to cosh a guard with the reminder of the same cake? Your aunt meant for you to actually eat her fruitcake, not use it to escape. I suppose you must have learned by now that any unsanctioned use of magic in the bounds of Nurmengard will set off alerts in every Ministry of Magic across the world. Hence the rather clumsy attempt at escape sans magic. And that little ward they placed to dampen your Seer powers. You are fortunate said guard is part troll and though grumpy, he is not too badly hurt. All you achieved was to almost be tied into a pretzel by an irate guard. Or is this a festive attempt at suicide by troll?

Our friends have, I trust, dispatched a team of skilled healers to attend to your medical needs. They have no wish for you to die from a silly misunderstanding. It reflects badly on wizard-troll relations. Understand you might not be mobile enough to ring in the New Year. Bones do need time to set after all. I have sent a few bottles of mulled cider for the healers and any guards still in attendance. You will not be getting any in your current state – bedridden and in traction. Same for the gingerbread cookies your aunt finally got round to baking.

Auntie sends a festive scarf. Red and yellow. I suggested the colours myself and hope you enjoy wearing it. Do not tease the trolls, please. Somehow even with a broken jaw I think you might be inclined to do so. It will probably take until next summer for your fingers to lift a quill again. I will miss sparring with you via words. Do not make me send a Howler.

May you be wiser come the new year.

Albus Dumbledore

Supreme Mugwump

P.S. For health reasons, Madame Santos has decided to step down from the post. It was an uncontested walkover since your folks took out almost the entire generation of potential candidates by either killing or incapacitating them. You might hear it on the news by New Year's Day if the newspapers are running in your area.

Author's Notes:

Should I continue or are the characters hopelessly out of character?

I imagine putting Grindelwald on trial would be like trying Adolf Hitler for war crimes. We did that as an exercise for history class once. We had a very unapologetic 'Hitler' in the dock - a drama club member who really got into the spirit of the role. The entire defence team got fired ten minutes in. The jury, prosecutors, and judge (aka our tutor) got insulted and his Nazi co-defendants got accused of high treason when testifying against him. Proceedings ended chaotically with the accused being bodily removed from the room by two 'bailiffs' while trying to give the Nazi salute. He apologized to the entire class afterwards for any offence caused. Only his two buddies acting as the bailiffs and a select few on his team knew how far he intended to push his role, almost into the area of disciplinary action.