Thanks for the comments. Glad to know I'm going the right way. I'm going to publish two more chapters, in addition to this one, and then you'll have nothing for a while, but don't worry. I have many more chapters written, but I still need to review and improve them and translate them into English.

Enjoy the next ones and tell me what you think of them.

Thanks again and have a good time.

Tip: Read these chapters listening to some music by Hans Zimmer, I recommend the soundtrack of Galdiador or Black Hawk Down. It helps to create a cool atmosphere. I think at least

The guild was as usual, noisy. It had been two days since Ryker and Lucy returned from their mission together and everything seemed to be fine. The day after his return, the mage returned to the guild and behaved normally.

Mira was watching him, he didn't say much those days, but he didn't show any problems or irritation. He just became quieter and more focused, she decided not to bother, waiting for the right moment to talk. He was sitting at a table alone, thinking, drinking and reading something she thought was interesting.

It was looking like the day would be normal, without major hitches. The guild door opened and Makarov entered, after a few days at the council, his face, however, wearing an expression of anger, worry and anxiety. His walk was heavy and steady and he didn't look sideways, fixed on his path without paying attention to his children.

"I'm glad you're back, master," Mira said happily.

"Not now, Mira!" he yelled back and went straight to his office without bothering to greet the mage or anyone else on the way.

"What's got into him!?" Gray asked in awe, sitting at a nearby table.

"I don't know," Lucy said worriedly.

"I bet he's mad about something you guys destroyed in a job," pointed out sarcastically Carla, who was on Wendy's lap.

"Could be," said Natsu thoughtfully and unconcerned, as usual.

"Awww! All that remains is for the council to charge one more fine from the guild. We will have to do countless quests to pay and no reward will come to us. How am I going to pay my rent like this? And all because you, your monsters, can't control yourself !", cried Lucy, nervous and anguished.

"Luce always worried about money. I just need fish, it's the best reward", Happy teased her.

"Shut up, cat!", the celestial mage ran after the blue Exceed, trying to hit him, as he flew around the guild laughing.

"It could be that or something else, we have no way of knowing. Anyway, we'll find out soon," said a confident Erza.

"I hope everything is fine," concluded Wendy worriedly, not wanting to suffer the consequences of her guildmates' carelessness.

"Yeah, and it was probably the flame brain's fault," Gray teased.

"What did you say, ice princess ?", Natsu replied back looking steadily at his partner.

"You heard! Besides, it's always you who destroys things, isn't it!?"

"Like you're too delicate, perverted ice cream. How many times have you been arrested for walking around naked!?"

Both mages were forehead to forehead snarling at each other, Juvia of course rooting for Gray and Lucy worried about getting out of the crossfire, hoping they wouldn't further irritate the master.

"That's not why the master is angry!"

"Who said!"

"Want to go ash brain!?"

"Why is it taking so long!?"

"You two better stop, or I'll have to take action," Titania said menacingly.

"YES!" , both said and hugged as if they were best friends ever. They could face the worst and strongest villains in the world, but Erza would always be the worst of them all.

In his office, Makarov was looking at the folder with photos and documents given to him by the magical council. It was still hard to believe what he was seeing. Was it possible that he had killed all those people in cold blood? Would he be capable of that? Was he that kind of person? And he let him into her familiar bosom. Who was he anyway? He would need answers, but first he needed to think about what to do and how.

The sadness and frustration he was feeling at that moment was indescribable. He's never been hurt this much, not even when his grandson betrayed the guild and he had to kick him out, but at least he never hid who he was and he never hurt or killed anyone. Not like that person.

The day passed quietly, Makarov was holed up in his office without leaving since he arrived and he didn't want to be disturbed by anyone. A few fights and arguments took place throughout the day, nothing out of the ordinary. The day was getting dark, the guild was full and many mages were drinking, talking and having fun. The master hadn't gone out to talk to any of them, so most thought it was nothing relevant, they were completely unconcerned.

Makarov opened the door to his office and went straight to the guild hall, determined to put an end to this story. He wasted no time and headed toward the one responsible for his torment, unblinking and unconcerned about the other mages. He had only one goal in mind and would take the necessary steps, for the sake of Fairy Tail and her children.

"Who are you!?" Makarov asked angrily slamming his hand violently against the table. He had climbed onto the bench and was staring straight ahead at his target, furious. Everyone looked in his direction and saw who he was talking to. They weren't understanding what was going on.

Ryker looked at the master confused, he didn't know what was going on there. "What do you mean?", he said.

"I want to know who you are, Ryker. Who sent you here?" , the master said with a stern tone.

"Nobody, you know. I... I don't even know how I got here. I've already talked about it," the wizard said, but something inside him was taking shape, he knew, somehow, that it wasn't going to end well.

"Don't give me this story!", yelled the master, throwing the folder he was carrying on the table in front of the wizard.

"What's going on master?", asked Mira worriedly.

"Not now, Mirajane!", he yelled, everyone in the guild was startled by the master's attitude and started talking amongst themselves.

"Shut up everyone!", Makarov ordered, everyone was quiet immediately. They had never seen him so angry and they were even more scared.

Ryker took the folder and opened it, needing no more than a quick glance to know what it was, and what it was all about. He quickly closed it and looked down, not wanting to see the faces of his companions and the master.

"Answer at once, Ryker. Who are you and why did you do this!?", demanded Makarov, mad with rage. Ryker clenched his fists and teeth.

"I brought you to this guild and sheltered you among my children and that's how you repay!? We're not like that, we don't do this kind of thing and you knew it! SAY SOMETHING !" , Makarov was losing his patience, and slapped his giant hand on the table, startling many guild members, but Ryker remained motionless.

A voice in his head began to speak...

.

Did you really think this child's play would last forever, Ryker? No it wouldn't and you always knew. Always putting off the inevitable, deconverting, repressing, even trying to be someone you're not. You know what you are. A monster, a killer, a demon. That's what you are!

.

The wizard shook his head trying to clear those ideas from his mind and focus on something, something good, but he had nothing, not anymore. Those twinges in his head came back, visions of a tormented past, visions of the hell he'd been through, visions of brutal training and brainwashing. He was shivering and a cold sweat began to trickle down his face.

"Master, please say. What's going on?", asked a cautious Wendy. She looked at the magician sitting at the table and felt her chest tighten.

Makarov sighed and decided to talk about what was going on. "On a mission he did a few months ago, he had to capture a fugitive. Only for that he left a trail of bodies. He killed people! THAT 'S NOT HOW A FAIRY TAIL WIZARD ACT ! WE DON'T TAKE LIVES FROM OUR ENEMIES!", he said, the last part addressed to Ryker.

Everyone was shocked by the revelation. No one in Fairy Tail had ever killed anyone before, even in the worst case scenarios against the worst enemies they were always merciful. How one of them could kill, in cold blood, someone was inconceivable.

"No master! This must be some mistake," Mira said and looked at the mage sitting with his head down and quiet. "Ryker!" , she called him. "Say this is not true!", she begged, but he didn't move, confirming what she feared.

"Ryker!?", she yelled going towards him and holding him, making him look directly at her. His eyes said it all, she was shocked and disappointed, a wound opened in her chest, it hurt, it hurt a lot inside her. It was hard to believe that this person she had sheltered, who helped her every morning, who was always with her talking and even laughing, had taken lives, not one, but many. Everything fell apart, she didn't know him, she never knew him, it was all a lie...

Ryker looked her in the eye and he could see the disappointment, frustration and disgust she was feeling for him. It was like Mira was disgusted with him, it was too much for him and he broke. Everyone but her. She was the last person he wanted to hurt and disappoint, he didn't want to give her that heartbreak. Now there was nothing left, just her inner voice and her memories...

.

It's always like that, Ryker. Nobody will ever understand you, those who would understand you are neither here nor there. You are alone, you are alone, a lone monster destined to roam the world alone until he drops dead in some ditch. Look at them, they hate you, even her. She hates you! She doesn't want to know about you anymore, none of them do. You know what you are. You know what they made you.

"You little worms will be transformed, transformed into what this empire needs. Machines! Killing machines! That's what you'll be and that's what I'm going to make you worthless!". That's what that instructor said and that's what they did. Now you are just that. A very efficient killing machine.

.

Ryker tore himself out of Mira's grip, getting up and heading into the hallway. He held his head in one hand, as if he were in pain, stumbling along the path. Her body was trembling, and she was sweating cold with her eyes wide open, her breathing heavy and her heart racing. The whole situation and the stress of it all started to cause reactions, the walls and protection he had built, even if they were fragile, still helped to keep him sane. But that broke down all his defenses and it all came out.

He turned to Mira and Makarov, who were looking at him with disappointment, seriousness, and anger.

"What am I!?" Ryker said. He looked at everyone in the guild, a mixture of surprise, frustration, disappointment, fear and anger written all over the faces of all the mages. Some had even taken a defensive stance, as if they were going to attack him at any moment.

"I…I'm just…just a machine, a killing machine," he said in a weak voice. Catching everyone off guard, but it was Mira who was most in shock, staring at him, not believing her ears. Was he really? She, however, noticed that her eyes were opaque, sad and lifeless.

"That's what they said," he continued, but he was speaking vaguely in an expressionless way. "That's what made me. That's what I was trained for. I'm a killing machine, that's all I know how to do, kill, kill, kill. You have to kill! Kill them! Kill them! Kill them!" , he was going crazy.

"Ryker, who trained you? What do you mean by that?", they asked, but it was no use, the magician was no longer on this plane. To make matters worse, his behavior started to get weird. They didn't understand anything, until Makarov, who was angry, focused scared by what he saw, his feeling was now confused. Mira had no reaction and couldn't hold back the tears that burned and clouded her eyes.

Ryker found himself in a destroyed field, he didn't know how he got there, but he knew the place. Burnt trees, burning earth and black, craters scattered everywhere, building rubble everywhere, the smell of death and blood in the air. He despaired, panic taking hold of him. He wanted to get out of there, but he couldn't move.

The mage looked around and saw bodies piled in all directions, blood running down to a putrid mud on their feet. He could hear the screams of agony and fear, the sounds of people dying and dying. Looking to his right he saw men and women he knew, to his left the same thing. Many more people were advancing across the field shooting blasts of energy, while others were coming towards them. Bombs were dropped, explosions everywhere. It didn't take long for the first person beside her to be hit in the chest, splattering blood everywhere and dropping dead. Over time, more and more people dropped dead, joining the growing pile of corpses.

He heard a large bomb coming towards him, hitting nearby comrades, literally blowing them up. Guts and body parts rained down on him. The mage fell into a ditch, thrown by the impact of another explosion. He was on top of mountains of bodies, in various stages of decomposition, worms came out of the holes in their bodies, a rotten smell hung in the heavy air. Ryker closed his eyes, he knew where he was and what was happening, he lived it, it wasn't imagination or hallucination, it was a memory. He knelt on the rotten ground and closed his eyes placing his hands on his head and screamed in terror and agony. Despair, helplessness and hopelessness, he felt.

When he opened his eyes, he saw that he was sitting on the floor of his guild, legs drawn up, breathing heavy and rapid, pulse racing and uncontrolled, his eyes showing the rest. Everyone was looking at him in pure shock.

Makarov didn't know what to think. If he was pretending he was the best actor in the world, but he knew that wasn't fake. If he was some spy or an undercover dark mage, he would have simply tried to escape or attacked in some way. What he saw was different, genuine, his heart said that. It hurt to see him like that, no matter how big his mistake, maybe some justification would have had to be and it was based on that.

Mira was startled to see Ryker's behavior. For a moment he just stood there without any reaction, opaque eyes staring at nothing. Suddenly he started looking around, his body shaking, eyes wide with absolute panic. She could see his chest heaving violently, his breathing heavy. The magician started to walk backwards looking around screaming in fear, as far as she could feel, a desperation took hold of him, until he sat up gathering the feathers on his chest, holding his hands to his head and screaming.

She cried, unable to contain herself. No, she wouldn't believe he would be a bad person and a cold-blooded killer. He could have killed those people, but he only did it for some reason beyond their understanding, something he forced him to do it had to be that. She wanted to take care of him, hug him and tell him everything will be fine.

The other members of the guild were numb at the sight, some girls, too, had teary eyes. A man falling to the lowest level like that was not easy. Lucy, saw something similar and also did not hold back tears, but refrained from comforting him, after all, no matter how bad his vision and condition was now, he had made a serious mistake.

Wendy despaired, but was held back by Carla and the other members of her team. This was not the right time for her to do anything.

Erza stood her ground, but for some reason she wanted to help him and she also had a confidence in him, a feeling that was stronger than she was, a feeling that overpowered reason. She wanted to be with him, on the ground and calm him down, but Mira was quicker.

Ryker was panicked, his whole body shaking, he was on the verge of madness. Mira couldn't stand it, ran towards him, knelt beside him and hugged him with all the affection she could, one day, give someone. He stopped, everything stopped for a moment, when she held him in her arms, he was surprised but relieved, it was as if all tension disappeared in an instant. Reluctantly he lowered his arms and wrapped them around the mage's body. He held her tighter, as if afraid of losing her, of losing her comfort, her safe haven, her lucidity.

Mira continued to hug him, it was a mixture of affection and protection. She wouldn't let anyone else bother him or hurt him.

"Calm down, it's okay. Nobody will harm you here, I won't let you", she spoke in his ear, reassuring him. He rested his head on Mira's soft shoulder as she held his head protectively.

Ryker calmed down with time and coming back to reality, he looked at Makarov, who was watching him with a hard but worried expression.

"Do what you want with me," he told the master. "I…I killed those men, and I knew it wasn't the Fairy Tail way. I did what I was trained…trained to do," he would say, his voice cracking and trembling more and more. "But…just don't, just don't…" he started to panic again, "just don't send me to that place again! Not when I saw a little light!", he spoke in despair.

"Ryker, calm down! I am here. Calm! Calm!", Mira said calming the mage in her arms.

"Master!?", she looked at him pleadingly to stop that interrogation. She was already tired of seeing him like this. She wanted an end to this.

"Send you back where?" Makarov asked, but there was no hostility in his voice.

" Master!", screamed Mira to stop pressing. "Don't realize he's not okay. Enough of this!", Makarov just raised his hand, silently ordering her to stop and let Ryker speak. They needed answers after all.

Ryker looked back at him, his eyes showing utter despair and upset.

"For THE WAR! Don't send me back to war! I don't want to go back to that hell. Don't send me back!".