RATING: M - Mature (for later chapter)
PAIRINGS: GSR
SPOILERS: Post Ep for "Gum Drops" through "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" (specifically relating to events in "Secrets & Flies")
SUMMARY: What was it that made Grissom finally see the light? Could it really have been so simple?
A/N: Had a little trouble with this one... I actually re-wrote the second half 4 times, with completely different endings each time. Hopefully this one meets with your approval.
REVIEWS: Reviews are the way I know if people are enjoying the work or not. So, if you leave one, THANKS! And if not, I hope you found at least a little something to brighten your day, and thanks for taking the time to read.
Chapter 5Once again, she was sitting in the window of her favorite breakfast joint, absently sipping at her tea, and occasionally picking at the fruit and bran muffin in front of her. Hunger was the last thing on her mind, and she only ordered the muffin to make Candace go away. No, she had other things on her mind that morning, like what in the world was going on with Grissom.
The re-establishing of their once dead friendship had been a real triumph for her, but after a few months of it coming back into her life, she began to remember what it was that had drawn her to him in the first place. Well, in the second place, because let's face it, the man is hot. However, the physical attraction could have easily been dealt with in one sweaty and unbelievably satisfying roll in the hay. No, the real thing that drew her to him was their undeniable connection. They understood things in much the same way, and in some weird, symbiotic, telepathic oddity, they also seemed to understand each other in a way no one else had ever been able to manage.
Her mother would have said they were cut from the same cloth.
My mother… She would have loved Grissom, and made her special tea for him and talked about the romantic poets with him and smiled whenever he quoted some obscure scholar. She always loved the oddballs, which seemed to have also been her strongest weakness… It's too bad she never got to meet Grissom, she would have thought he was a fine young man. She was aged by her experiences, and in the end, she looked so much older than her years. She died just a few months before I came to Vegas. If Grissom had only known how desperate I was to leave the coast when I got his call. I needed a connection to something else, someone else to keep myself from floating too far out into the grief.
Sara shook her head a little to move herself away from such rambling thoughts. They would not serve her well, and she had a serious problem to work out; what was going on with Grissom?
The business at the art show was her first indication that things had crossed a line somewhere along the way, but she had no idea what that line was and what was even going on anymore. It was just so surprising for him to open up about something like that in such a public setting, that it really threw her for a loop. She had nearly spit her wine all over the paintings when he said it, and that would have been horrifying.
There were other things that were beginning to feel more and more unfamiliar to her as the time passed: when he started asking if she wanted to see this movie or that show, when he mentioned getting tickets to some orchestra concert, when they started meeting for dinner before work a few times a week. But the big one for her, was when he started assigning all the early rollouts to himself and taking her along every time. Each time, he would call and wake her up, saying, "I'll just pick you up on the way." Inevitably, it also meant he had to take her home. And half the time, he would end up hanging out in her condo for a little while, chatting or even watching a movie with her.
Sara never minded the company, because it always took her several hours to calm down from a shift before she could even think about sleeping, but there was something about the whole experience that was so unfamiliar to her she was having a hard time understanding what was really going on. She knew, from experience, that if she was really going to find out what was happening, she was just going to have to ask him, point blank. Vagaries and innuendo were just not going to hold for her any longer. She had spent a lifetime living by those ridiculous parameters and she had finally learned her lesson enough to move past that point in her life. Honesty and openness were the cornerstones of the life she was making for herself.
She sunk a little at that thought. Yeah, right, like you're being open and honest about anything, Sidle… You keep your heart so tight in your own grasp it starts to bleed into your work now and then. Ever since she had literally fallen apart a year ago, after the near DUI, after the blow up with Catherine, after Nick… She had been forced to look more deeply into herself than she had ever wanted, but it had been a good thing, in the end. She was more confident in her abilities, she had more control over her emotions, and she had finally wrestled with some pretty nasty demons.
It bothered her that she had not been able to forgive her mother, until long after her death, but her salvation came in the fact that she had never abandoned the woman either. She always made her twice yearly visits to her mother, and she got monthly reports from the assisted living facility she had been sent to, Sara even sent little gift baskets to the woman every month or so. Sara was, as always, a good daughter. And now, in death, Sara was finally able to forgive the woman whose only real sin, was to love too deeply to see the truth until it was too late. Sara pulled out her date book and made herself a note to be sure to have some flowers placed on her mother's grave next week. Sweet Peas, Mamma always loved Sweet Peas.
"Thinking about gardening?" The sudden sound of Grissom's voice behind her nearly made Sara fall onto the floor with fright.
Clutching a hand to her chest she breathed, "Don't do THAT!"
Smiling, Grissom placed a well-meaning hand on the middle of her back as he took the seat beside her at the table and said, "I'm sorry, I thought you saw me walking up in the window."
Shaking her head as she waited for her heart to stop racing she said, "Obviously not…" She looked down at her watch and noticed the time. "I thought you were in a meeting with Ecklie until ten?"
"Nah, I got Catherine to cover it for me… Told her if I had to sit in a confined space with that worm for more than five minutes I was liable to feed him to the cockroaches and call it a day." His eyes were sparkling with his good humor and it brought a smile to Sara's face as well.
"Well, aren't you in a good mood today?"
"Yes, in fact I am…" That was when Candace walked up with a mug of coffee and set it down in front of Grissom. The smile on his face was making Sara quickly forget what it was she was supposed to be doing the next time she talked to Grissom.
"Can I get you a muffin to destroy as well, Dr. Grissom?" Sara hung her head at the implication and waited for his response.
Grissom looked over at the plate in front of Sara and smirked as he answered the owner, "Ah, no… But I would like a few of those molasses and oat cookies to take with me."
Candace winked at Sara and then said, "Sounds good… I'll bag 'em up and have 'em at the register when you're ready."
Sara was trying to recover when she asked, "So…not hungry today?"
Grissom took a tentative sip of his coffee, and once he was sure of the temperature he took a bigger drink. Sara was sure he was stalling, but she was completely baffled as to why, and then he looked at his watch before he spoke. "Not really enough time… I only have a few minutes to spare before our appointment."
Sara's eyebrows involuntarily scrunched together at his answer. "We have an appointment?"
There was the hint of a smirk out of the corner of Grissom's mouth as he took another large swig from his mug. He looked at his watch again, and instead of answering her question, simply stated, "If you think that muffin has suffered enough, we should probably get going."
Sara fought the smile that threatened to spread on her face by pursing her lips tightly and said, "You're not gonna tell me, are you?"
Grissom swallowed the last of his coffee and stood up. "I'll get the tab, while you finish the evisceration."
Shaking her head as she downed the last of her tea, Sara dropped her napkin over the mutilated muffin and got up to meet him at the door. Whatever it was, she was pretty sure it was going to be interesting.
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When his colleague at the Las Vegas Natural History Museum had called him about some trouble with one of the bug exhibits, he was delighted to also learn that the Marine Life exhibit was going to have to close for a few days. Seeing a perfect opportunity, Grissom instantly seized upon the chance to bring a little piece of the coast to Sara as a gift. He had made arrangements with the marine biologist and the handlers to take Sara through a behind the scenes tour of the exhibit.
However, nothing in his mind could have compared with the reality of the experience. He saw years of pain and worry melt away from her eyes when her face lit up as she stroked that leopard shark's dorsal fin. It was as though she had been transformed by the experience and it made Grissom's heart swell with pride, knowing that he had been to the one to give it to her. But his spirit soared on the next stage of their little adventure.
When I had to take care of some business and look in on the tarantula that had been giving them fits, Sara seemed delighted with the whole thing. She watched intently as I examined the mandibles of the furry little beast and determined that they needed to change the terrarium because it was sampling some of the shavings along with its insect diet and that was the likely cause of its ill health. Sara even allowed me to place the delicate creature in her palm so that I might demonstrate just how light its touch was, and I delighted in her reactions to the episode. It was such an intimate and inspiring experience to have her revel in the same things that excite me; things outside of work.
He was thrilled to be learning so much about her as they continued to meet away from the lab; the movies she liked, the books she read, the art she enjoyed. It was thrilling and exciting and heaven help him, it was making it even harder for him to think of anything else. He was all for taking this slow, but if she did not take notice of everything soon, he was not going to be responsible for his actions.
The whole day was just like a dream, especially when she placed her hand on his forearm as she thanked him for the opportunity and recounted to him her feelings and emotions about the whole experience. He took more pleasure in the sparkle in her eyes as she told him how much the entire morning had meant to her, than he could have had in a thousand cockroach races, or a display with a hundred different beetles, or a perfect performance of Carmen, or even the closing of any case in his lifetime.
As they walked out of the museum together, Grissom was walking on air, and even the sun was dim next to the smile that was playing across his face. But as they neared the car, he began to sense that something was weighing Sara down. She stopped about five feet in front of the SUV and he turned to see what the problem was.
Her face was suddenly very serious and his own heart was feeling a bit heavy in anticipation of what she had to say. "What is it?"
He watched as she struggled for the words, and his worry grew with each passing moment. Finally the wait was over, "Grissom… There's…something I need to know."
He fiddled with his keys for something to do, took a deep breath and with a nervous smile answered, "Ask away."
"Don't get me wrong… I've really enjoyed all of this… Today, the breakfasts, the dinners, all of it." She swallowed hard and he worried about what was going to come out of her mouth next.
He worried that she truly had moved on, and in the end he was indeed too late. He looked down at his feet and put one of his fists into his pants pocket to hide his nervousness. "And well, I don't want to screw this…friendship thing up, or anything, but…" Without realizing it, Grissom found that he was holding his breath as he waited for the axe to fall. "But I have to know, Grissom… I mean, I've made mistakes by not being clear in the past, and I don't want to keep making those mistakes, so I really need to know." He listened as she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before she finally said, "This is just feeling like somethi-… Like maybe it's more than just fr-… What exactly are we doing with all of this?"
The air escaped his lungs in a rush as the relief began to flood into his mind and his heart. When he finally lifted his head to look up into her frightened gaze he knew there was nothing to be afraid of anymore. Before he realized it, a smile began to tug at the corner of his mouth, so with a sideways grin and the tilt of his head, he gave her a response that only he could give. "I could be wrong…but I do believe it is commonly referred to as dating."