RATING: M - Mature (for later chapter)
PAIRINGS: GSR
SPOILERS: Post Ep for "Gum Drops" through "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" (specifically relating to events in "Secrets & Flies")
SUMMARY: What was it that made Grissom finally see the light? Could it really have been so simple?
A/N: Okay, I had a little beta problem (thankfully she's doing much better and cursing my name for some things yet to come) and thanks to another pinch-hitter I was able to get this ready to go... I also have one more in the wings, as I write the FINAL chapter to this one. I know you're all shocked that I can write a chapter piece with less than 10 chapters (or less than 50), but you could just think of this one as a one shot that got out of control. ;) Enjoy!
REVIEWS: Reviews are the way I know if people are enjoying the work or not. So, if you leave one, THANKS! And if not, I hope you found at least a little something to brighten your day, and thanks for taking the time to read.
Chapter 7
It was an odd habit for a man who had dedicated himself to a life of solitude, but for years Grissom had been sitting on the same bench, in the same spot on the UNLV campus with his "morning" coffee watching the future of the world walk by. He did not read, or work a crossword puzzle, or really even speak to anyone, unless they spoke to him, of course. "Rudeness is not an admirable trait, my son." That was what his father had said to him when he was too far inside his own head.
This day was not different from any other day. He had started out sitting on that bench, sipping his coffee and watching the student body scurry around him like a colony of Argentinean Black Ants. There was a group of young men playing a bit of football in the grass, a few young women sitting at a table to the side as they studied, a blonde hurriedly made her way down the walk as she talked animatedly on her cell phone, but his attention rested on the young couple seated on the bench on the other side of the lawn.
He was unable to keep his focus from drifting to them as they sat close together on the bench. He watched as they talked, and laughed and touched. They seemed to be more than just friends, but they were not being overly affectionate either, which led Grissom to believe they had been in a relationship for an extended period of time. They were comfortable with each other, with their relationship, and Grissom found himself wondering if he would ever feel that way; if Sara could ever feel that way with him.
Things had been progressing very well with Sara ever since he had opened his eyes to the fact that he had been blind for so long. Grissom had never even considered that Sara would have insecurities about him, because he always assumed she knew he was the lesser party in their relationship. He was the one who had always felt unworthy of her affections, and not once did he believe she would feel unsure of her own worthiness in any of the scenarios he had run through his head. He always considered her the treasure to be won, and had trouble understanding why she had chosen him to hold her heart.
As he took another sip from his coffee, the warm liquid sliding down his throat reminded him of the warmth that was still buried in his chest. The morning before, after a particularly difficult case, he had been given a glimpse of what life with Sara could be like. When he arrived on the scene, it seemed like a simple child abduction case, but things quickly turned sour and soon they were investigating a four year old case of matricide. It turned out that the mother, who had been treated for psychosis following the death of her husband during military service, had killed her two year old son to save him from his father's fate. However, somehow, in her deluded mind, the child had remained alive, to the point that she had resorted to using the photographs of another child to support her delusions.
Before they had discovered the real nature of the case, hearing of the father's death had brought to his conscious mind his own father's death. And when the case was over, he was still dealing with those long dormant thoughts.
He had gone straight home right after the shift, but he had forgotten to call Sara and let her know that he would not be joining her for their usual breakfast. He was on his third Sinatra CD and his second Scotch when he felt the sofa dip beside him and turned to see Sara's worried face.
He was beyond words by the time she had appeared next to him, and when she reached up to run her fingers through his hair, he felt drawn to her touch and his head followed the movement of hand. Before he knew what had happened, he found his face buried in her shoulder and her arms wrapped around his head. He wasted no time in pulling her into his arms as he drew comfort from her in a way he had never experienced in his life. For so long Gil Grissom had only himself for comfort and he no longer understood that others could give him such a thing.
Eventually, he felt strong enough to pull away and he was suddenly filled with a sense of shame at having come undone in front of another person. But when he looked, all he found was Sara's caring, smiling face waiting for him. She did not give him a chance to wallow in his embarrassment when she simply leaned into him and placed her head on his shoulder as she said, "Took a long time."
He was confused by her statement and it got his mind searching for an answer to that riddle. When she began to thread her fingers through his, it was beginning to dawn on him as she sighed, "But at least now we're even again."
He smiled as he finally understood what she was talking about. It was another early morning, on another couch, with those same hands intertwined in a gesture of comfort. And unlike that day, this day left no questions in either of their minds what the gesture really meant; they were in it together, no matter what.
His face bore one of those famously enigmatic smiles as the memories of their time spent in each other's embrace, talking out the last of the pain, putting to rest the demons of the day, and the demon of his father's death continued to play out in his mind. He hoped that, together, they would someday be able to put to rest all of their shared and individual demons, but that would be a long process. Grissom was ready for such a process.
His sideways smile was still playing over his mouth when someone sat down on the bench beside him. The smirk was back in full force, because without turning around, he knew the exact identity of the person to his left. The only question on his mind in that moment was just how she had found him.
She scooted in closer when he brought the arm which had been resting on the back of the bench to lie over her shoulder. "Your phone."
He looked over at her with a quizzical expression on his face as she fought the screwed up smile on her own face. She brought the paper cup in her hand up to blow away the steam and said, "GPS."
He chuckled at her use of department resources to locate him. "And how did you manage-"
"You were out of two-way range, and Catherine called me. I figured you'd want in on it, so I had Archie do a grid search." She sipped at the tea in her cup.
He looked down at her cup and saw the familiar arbor logo of their favorite breakfast spot. "You didn't happen to-"
She pulled the little white bag from her jacket and shook it in front of him. "Cookies, and there's a cup of coffee sitting in the Tahoe's console waiting for you…" She got up and turned around to face him, "You ready to go?"
"Let's go." He rose to his feet and started walking along the path back to the parking lot with her. After a few steps, he removed his left hand from the windbreaker pocket and dropped it to his side. With a deliberate, but comfortable motion he slipped her hand into his and clasped it within his grasp. She did not turn to meet his gaze, but he could see the corner of her mouth turning into a tender smile.
As they got into the SUV and buckled up, he could tell there was something on her mind. He decided that after everything that had happened between them lately, he needed to offer something to her. "You have a question?"
She demurred at his insinuation and he delighted in seeing the blush rise in her cheeks. "Well, since you brought it up… Why were you people watching on the campus?"
His joy filled chuckle filtered through the vehicle in a delightful tone. He cleared his throat, realizing that what he was about to say was going to reveal more than he was used to, and certainly more than she was expecting from him. "I ah, have been doing that for a while… Clears my head to see people unaffected by the horrors we see every day. Gives me a little hope for the future." He paused, knowing the next part was not necessary, but that she deserved to hear to full truth behind his little ritual. "It also reminds me of another time…"
"When you were still in school?" She had gone the wrong way with his confession.
He took her hand once again and then kissed her fingers. "On another campus… When I met the person who gave me more than just a little hope; she gave me a future."