"Get up!" I heard Mamorus voice at the same time I felt his hand on my shoulder, shaking me. "Did you sleep here all day?... Don't you have better things to do than..." His hand was still on my shoulder, the shaking had stopped though. As if I could feel his stare, I opened my eyes in panic and looked at the screen as well. His rough shaking must've moved the mouse. I can't believe this is happening to me!
There it was, Seiyas last Mail, that I had read over and over before I passed out... I felt the grip on my shoulder become tighter as Mamoru read the last few sentences. The sudden pain of his fingers digging into my flesh made me wince. "What the fuck is this?" he said through clenched teeth. Trying to wiggle out of his grip I answered in a shaky voice "it's just Seiya... aaaaahhhhh..." as if he felt I was trying to get away, he tightened his grip on me yet again. "JUST Seiya!" A push on my shoulder caused my chair to run me to the left and look into his angry face. "You mean the guy that was in love with you and got onto you while I was dead... and, knowing you, he probably succeeded!"
The sound of skin-meeting-skin echoed in my ears as my right cheek started burning. I can't believe he just did that! Over a damn E-Mail! Harsh treatment was nothing new... but... he had never hit me! Tears of pain started to immerge, I wasn't able to hold 'em back. It wasn't the physical pain that was showing. Hell, I've had beatings FAR worse than his little slap. But why does he hurt me? Why would someone hurt the person he loves? Unless...
I lift my head slowly. Forcing myself to look in his face, the face I used to adore, the face that used to smile at me and make me feel good... I haven't seen that smile in a long time...l and today, this face is staring at me in rage, no love in his blue eyes. I hesitate, but another look in his hateful eyes convinced me that I don't really have anything to loose. "Mamoru..." my voice is about to break. His expression remains unchanged. "Do you... do you still love me?" There, I said it and was surprised when I felt his second hand on my other shoulder.
Again he shook my helpless body, like I still needed to wake up. And I wished it would've been that way, that this was just a bad dream. But his angry voice made clear, I was already awake and not dreaming. "YOU ARE MINE! ... Do you understand?" I nodded in shock. Finaly he let go of me. "And THIS" he points at the computer "is going to stop... RIGHT..." with fast violent movements he rips the cables out of the tower "NOW!" I wanna reach out and stop him from taking the only connection to my friends, but I can't move. Instead I stare at the black Monitor in front of me. I can see the tears run down my face. What now? Mamorus answer, even though it wasn't a clear one... answered my question perfectly! I felt like a black hole just opened under me and tried to suck me in.
I hear him rumble somewhere in the bed room. I'm sure he's not gonna trash it, since it's his. I wonder what Seiya will think if I don't answer him anymore... actually, he might've even replied to my last one! In a hurry, I jump up from my chair, grab my jacket and my keys and leave without saying a word. He can't tell me what to do! Not after this! I still can't believe he did that! ... And then again... you probably can hurt a person, that you don't love anymore... can you! Does it matter if he used to love me... or did he ever...
I wipe away new tears. No, I don't want to think about that. I can't let him hurt me anymore! My hand is rubbing over the slightly swollen side of my face. I don't want the rest of my life to be like this! I'm already merely more than a housekeeper and a sex toy to him... I'm not going to let him get the last piece of me! Why is nobody here to help me? Where are all my friends when I need them? Can't they feel, that I need them now?
People stare at me while I stomp down the streets. I'm mad! I can't even really say whom I was mad at... maybe for the biggest part, myself! That I didn't do anything sooner, took my life in my own hands instead of trusting in every body to lead me! I turn around a corner and my destination comes into view. Good thing the 'Crown' stays open 'till ten, since it's already eight thirty-five. When I open the door a loud ring lets ever one who cares know that I arrived. My eyes are locking with the person behind the counter.
"Bunny!" the blonde man says smiling. "I haven't seen you in a while... what... what's wrong? You look terrible!" The happy smile is gone. Motoki rushes around the counter to pull me into a warm hug. It feels good. Finaly someone who cares. I would like to hug him back but my arms are pressed to my side by his. "Come on in and have a seat! I'll get you a chocolate shake and then you tell me what happened!" The warmth left my body and released my arms. He lead me over to one of the booths but I refuse to sit down. I came here for a reason.
I knew the 'Crown' had recently upgraded to an internet cafe and I had already seen the machines through the window. "Motoki, I need to use one of the Computers! Could you tell me how it works... do I pay you up front or..." The blonde man just shook his head, then pointed to one of the desks in the far corner "use that one... and don't worry about the rest!" He turned away and walked off towards his counter. I took a seat in front of the desk and got started right away.
And there it was... another Mail from Seiya! "I wonder what he wrote" I thought out loud. "Well, maybe you should open it, then you'll know!" said a mocking voice close to my ear, startling me. "Relax, it's just me. I'm bringing you your shake!" His smile was contagious. "There! I knew that would cheer you up! ... Now, is HE" Motoki pointed at the screen "the reason you were crying?" The smile on my face is quickly fading. The slight movement of my head gives the answer.
Should I tell him? He was friends with Mamoru... "Bunny!" I look up in his serious face "I just want you to know that you can tell me anything!" his expression softens a bit "I'm a good listener!" Then the usual Motoki-smile reappears "And, you know I can keep a secret!" With a wink he turns and walks back to the counter. I know Motoki, he wouldn't go to Mamoru and say anything, but... in this matter... I don't know.
My gaze returns to the screen. I wait in anticipation as the computer is loading Seiyas E-Mail. Surprised I stare at the blank screen. I don't know what I expected, but certainly not this. Then I notice the little content the message holds...
CU