Total Drama World Tour Deluxe

Chapter 3: Super Happy Crazy Fun Time Japan


Review Responses

Fritz Electroscreech: Yes, poor Ruby.

xtremexavier15: Don't worry about it, man.

Cody Fanatic: I do have something different in mind for Cody. So if you're willing to be patient, I think you'll be satisfied. As for his behavior, I did hear a theory that his status as a Drama Brother was what caused him to think highly of himself enough to try to court Gwen again.

AnonBrowser: Yeah, I can see why people would like Beth and she had the potential to be a good finalist but I wasn't super impressed with her journey. Most of her best moments were in Island. The thought of making Heather the first boot did cross my mind, but never so seriously. And you make a good point at how the reference to Rescuers Down Under would have been better for Australia. Whoopsie! As for Alejandro, I never saw any reason for him to hide his irritation with his nickname from the audience.

LaCuevademisgustos: Yes, Ezekiel did not deserve to turn into Gollum. And we'll see about Harold...

Ellismskd24: How is that relevant at all here?

WeirdAlfan101: Yes, the winner and villain of previous seasons are great choices for first boots. It just doesn't happen because both characters tend to be very interesting and favorites of the writers.

Guest A: Thank you! Will Blaineley be in here? Maybe... As for who my favorite characters are, I have them listed on my profile.

Crosshot: Yeah, I didn't originally have Beth as first boot but I didn't really know what to do with her. By the skin of his teeth is a great way to describe Ezekiel's survival here.

MDReborn: Beth actually did have an incentive to win again, but you'll have to wait for the Aftermath to learn what that is. We'll see if Team Victory is luckier here than in canon.

Gucci Mane LaFlare: Yes, Heather's survival in this season was very luck-based, not gonna lie. I wouldn't say it was entirely luck-based, but given her reputation, she certainly needed a lot. And with the elimination of reward challenges here in this season, I've added a way to make her survival seem more believable.

Guest B: I don't dislike Cody. I think he's a fine character. He's just not my favorite character either.

Guest C: Sorry to disappoint.

AJustice90: Okey-dokey.

MatiasND: Yes, Katie and Sadie do seem to make for good elimination fodder, don't they? BTW, Alejandro is evil. That's why he didn't care about Ruby's fate.

lordgemini: Eva's tough enough to handle carrying three of her teammates, don't you think? Yes, I can see how Duncney fans might get nervous, but keep in mind that I do love both characters. Yes, I changed the elimination method because in canon, it was cartoonishly over the top, which sort of overrode the symbolism of elimination.

The Riverian: 1. That's one way to put it. 2. Good thinking! 3. Okay then. 4. Let's just say I have a certain drive to redo this season. 5. Oh, you think so?

SilentSinger948: I agree. I never liked the concept of a twenty-six-episode season with only fourteen to eighteen competitors. Reward challenges are a waste of time in my eyes. Sure, one or two is alright but not one every three episodes! And especially not at 'random' times to give the villains and antiheroes plot armor. Thank you for your faith in me!

Rockin' D-99: You're welcome. I will admit I somewhat relate to Alejandro getting annoyed at being called a nickname he doesn't like. I know Beth wasn't exactly the most popular choice for a finalist, but she wasn't the worst. She experienced adversity and went through a bit of character growth, albeit more so in the season before she was a finalist. And yes, while I know it's a cartoon, I would like some consistency in the cartoon logic.

: Yes, I do plan to give a few overshadowed characters some time in the spotlight.

romeoaifesili: Yup, making Ezekiel first boot again seemed pointlessly mean. And I'm not trying to make Cody seem more arrogant. I'm giving him a reason as to why he thinks he has a chance with Gwen now. Will Gwen and Trent get back together? Maybe, maybe not, though you do make a good point on their relationship status.


"Last time on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris narrated. "Egypt! Land of Pyramids! Land of hot! Land of sweaty! Our contestants had loads of fun, on the run, in the sun! And they still managed to find time to feed the crocs! Teehee! Rest in pieces, Ruby! Showing style on the Nile, Team Minotaur managed to pull out a win! And Beth went from hero to zero as the winner of last season and the biggest loser of this season! Who's gonna sell out their friends for a chance at one million dollars this week? Welcome! To Total… Drama… World Tour!"

After the theme song, we cut to Economy class. Team Amazon sat on the left side of the plane while Team Victory sat on the right.

"I happen to like winning!" Courtney barked at Heather and Gwen. "That makes me an ideal leader!"

"Wow, that totally makes you unique!" said Gwen sarcastically. "Going by that logic, everyone's an ideal leader! Might as well be me!"

"Well, I actually have plans to get to First Class!" Courtney argued.

"You're not the only person on the team, Courtney." Heather scolded. "There are my friends, Katie, Sadie, and Sierra to consider!"

"Like, duh!" Katie cried.

"Yeah, you kinda sucked as leader of the Killer Bass, Courtney!" Sadie chimed in.

"And you two sucked as members of the Killer Bass!" Courtney retorted.

Confessional: Cody

"We didn't win last time, but yesterday wasn't a total loss! Duncan switched teams with Sierra, meaning I get Gwen all to myself! Woohoo! Thanks, Duncan!"

End Confessional

"Why did you guys vote Beth off?!" Lindsay yelled. She had been glaring incredulously at Team Amazon ever since they boarded the plane without Beth. The Amazons turned to look at her. "Like seriously! You guys had the perfect opportunity to get rid of Heather!"

"Hey, don't look at me!" Gwen cried defensively.

"Or me!" said Courtney.

"So you two voted for me." said Heather darkly. She correctly assumed that Beth voted for her as well. "Oh! Wait 'til we lose again! Right, Sierra?"

Sierra was distracted. She was going through Cody's compartment like a starving raccoon in a dumpster.

"Sierra, what are you doing?!" Cody cried. The fangirl ignored him and pulled out a shoe. She inhaled deeply as though it were a bouquet of roses. She inhaled so deeply, one of the shoelaces went up her nose. She then coughed and the end of it came out her mouth. Most everyone gagged in disgust.

Meanwhile, in First Class…

"Oh, yeah! First Class rules!" Tyler declared, eating from a bowl of oatmeal.

"Today, we eat the breakfast of champions!" Alejandro declared.

"How ya doin', lunchbox?" Noah asked.

Owen had been pretty tense ever re-boarding the plane, as had Izzy. The luxurious accommodations and excellent food kept them from freaking out, but there was no doubt they were uncomfortable.

"I'm okay…" said Owen. "I'm totally okay… I'm… TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Owen began screaming, which caused Izzy to start screaming as well. The other Minotaurs cringed.

"Knock it off!" Eva snapped. Owen and Izzy shut up.

"Take it easy, you kooks. Air travel is the safest mode of transportation." said Noah.

"Unless you're in a death trap piloted by Chef Psycho!" Duncan commented.

"Waaaargh!" Owen wailed.

"Not helping, dude!" Trent scolded.

"Alright, Elvis! You calm them down!" Duncan challenged.

"I will!" said Trent, getting out his guitar. He then began playing a few gentle melodies, charming Owen, Izzy, and Eva into calming down.

"Thanks, buddy!" said Owen.

Confessional: Alejandro

"I'm quite pleased that I have Trent and Eva on my team in order to keep the lunatics under control. Yes, Eva's also a lunatic, but she's useful and I can control her."

End Confessional

"Attention all players! This is your captain speaking!" Chris announced over the intercom. "It's time for everyone to join me in the common area!"

Team Minotaur reluctantly left First Class and joined up with the other two teams in the dining room. They waited for about a minute for Chris to show up.

"Welcome to today's challenge!" Chris greeted.

"Is it a reward or elimination challenge?" Harold questioned.

"Elimination! Obviously!" said Chris.

"Yeah, Einstein. There's too many people for us to have any reward challenges!" Noah informed.

"I hope you all brought your Godzilla repellant!" Chris announced. "Because we're about to land in… JAPAN!" Chris pointed to the door to the cockpit. Chef burst through the door dramatically, wearing an orange ninja outfit and wielding a katana.

"Gosh, Chris! That's totally a Chinese outfit!" Harold scolded.

"Thank you, Harold!" said Chris, impatiently.

"You just- You'd really think you'd try harder to get it right!"

"Harold!" Chris scolded warningly. Harold failed to get the hint.

"Your cultural insensitivity is just- Gosh! I mean, gosh!" Chris leered at Harold and then smirked at Chef. The host and his assistant retreated into the cockpit. After a few seconds of awkward silence and confusion, the plane flipped over causing everyone to tumble around painfully. They let out yelps, grunts of pains, and screams of terror as Chef performed many barrel rolls and loop-da-loops. The tables and chairs constantly banged into the contestants. People had tried to get in control, but those who collided with Owen had no chance.

The chaos went on for about five minutes. After which, Chris, safe and seatbelted in the cockpit with Chef, decided the kids had been punished enough and straightened out for a landing.

The contestants were sprawled across the floor, battered and bruised. Noah aero-nauseated all over Harold.

"Aw, gross!" the dweeb exclaimed.

"Hey, I warned you…" Noah retorted groggily.

Confessional: Noah

"And they call me a know-it-all."

End Confessional

Alejandro was the first to recover, followed by Eva, Duncan, and Leshawna. As expected, once the plane stopped moving, Izzy yanked the door open and hopped out, causing the rest of the contestants to follow suit.

"Yes, Japan!" Harold cried. "I know everything about this country!"

Duncan showed how impressed he was by yanking the back of Harold's underwear out of his pants and stretching it over his scalp.

"YIPE!" Harold wheezed. Nobody felt sorry for him. Leshawna came over and undid the wedgie.

"What you know just got us tumbling around a plane!" she scolded.

"But I went to Sensei Steve's Feudal Japanese Summer Camp!" Harold whined.

"Oh yeah? I speak Japanese, too!" said Alejandro. "Leshawna, hana no youni kirei!"

"What?" Leshawna asked.

"I said 'you are as beautiful as a flower!'" Alejandro translated. Leshawna, surprised and flattered, giggled. Harold watched with wide eyes.

The contestants were loaded onto a bus for a twenty-minute trip to a building that resembled a warehouse.

"Okay, your first challenge is inside a Japanese gameshow studio!" Chris announced, opening the doors and walking inside. The contestants followed. Inside right before them was a pinball machine the size of a basketball court. "Bow down before… Super Human Mega Pinball Smash!"

Harold and Tyler gasped in excitement.

"I love Japanese gameshows!" Tyler exclaimed.

"Me too!" cried Harold. The two high-fived. "My favorite is Human Ichi My Car Go-Go! Where you have to throw a banana into a car window using-"

"A giant shrimp fork?!"

"That's the one!"

"Awesome!"

BANG!

Chris hit a large brass gong situated at the base of the pinball machine, causing Harold and Tyler to cease their yapping.

"Oh, look! My own personal geek gong!" Chris bragged. "Okay, for your challenge, I'll need one member of your team to cram into this giant hamster ball! After which, your teammates are gonna beat you around the game board, scoring points by bouncing you off bumpers and posts! Score as many points as you can, because you only have one life! The team with the most points wins an advantage in the next challenge! And! I have a special local surprise for each of you to share your little ball-shaped paradise with!"

The contestants looked nervously at each other.

"So! Team Victory! You're up, first! Select a ball guy! Or gal!"

"How about you, Geoff?" Justin suggested. Unfortunately, Geoff was distracted by Bridgette's lips and had not heard any of the instructions.

"What?" he said, prying his head away after five seconds.

"Never mind!" Justin sighed. Geoff shrugged and went back to kissing Bridgette.

"I'll do it!" said Ezekiel. "I'll win us a big one!"

"After you almost cost us the last challenge? Like hell, you will!" Leshawna scolded. "Chris, we choose DJ!"

"We do?" DJ and Lindsay asked.

"Coolio!" said Chris. "Here's Ting-Ting, your pinball buddy!" The host held up a juvenile giant panda.

"A panda?" DJ cried, his eyes sparkling. "Aw! Come here, you!"

With a happy grin on his face, DJ walked over to Chris and held out his arms to accept the panda. The raccoon-like bear growled and pounced onto DJ and began biting and scratching the gentle giant.

"Ow! Hey! Ow!" he cried.

"Giant pandas are native to China! Not Japan!" Harold scolded. "Seriously! It's like you forgot what country we're in!"

"Thank you, Harold!" said Chris sarcastically.

"Twenty bucks says Harold will be the first one off Team Victory." Noah whispered to Tyler.

"You're on!" Tyler accepted, shaking Noah's hand.

"Yargh!" DJ cried, finally prying Ting-Ting off of him and holding him a safe distance away. "I thought pandas were supposed to be nice and cuddly!"

"Uh, yeah. Pandas may look cute, but they are actually really aggressive! Kinda like every species of bear that ever existed!" said Chris. "Okay! DJ! Into the ball! The rest of you take positions at the paddles!"

There were four paddles on the machine. Justin, Lindsay, Leshawna, and Ezekiel took their places there. Harold just followed Leshawna. Geoff and Bridgette snuck away for some private time. With great difficulty, DJ and Ting-Ting stuffed into a large, transparent silver ball.

"It's Human Pinball Time!" Chris declared. Chef, now dressed in a purple samurai outfit, pulled the spring and shot DJ onto the board. DJ ran around, bumping into bumpers, but Ting-Ting was not making it easy. He continued to bite and scratch DJ, causing him to scream and lose concentration. After about fifteen seconds, DJ lost his balance and began rolling around at the mercy of gravity. He was shot back up to the board several times by his teammates.

"The paddle must connect with the ball at a perfect thirty-three-point-seven degree angle to maximize the impact!" Harold advised Leshawna.

"Either help or get out of the way!" Leshawna snapped.

DJ bounced around the board for about three minutes before the ball fell into the gutter, ending Team Victory's turn. Their final score was 210,050 points. DJ opened the ball and ran out, desperate to get away from Ting-Ting. He was covered with scratches and bite marks. Lindsay went over to comfort him.

"Alright! That's two-hundred-ten-thousand points for Team Victory!" Chris announced. "Team Minotaur, you're up! Choose your ball guy!"

The members of Team Minotaur looked towards Ting-Ting, who snarled viciously at them.

"I'm uh… I'm allergic to pandas!" said Noah. "I get hives!"

"What he said!" Tyler chimed in.

"I can take the little monster!" Eva declared, pounding her fist viciously.

"Dude! Pandas are endangered!" Trent pointed out.

"I'll do it! For my team!" Alejandro volunteered. He walked over to the ball and Ting-Ting pounced at the Spaniard, who caught him in his arms and flashed a charming smile at him. "Well hello, handsome creature! Can I scratch your ears or get you a tasty cookie?"

He held the panda like a baby. Ting-Ting's fierce expression melted and he smiled like a puppy.

"Awwwwwwwww!" cried all the girls, save for Eva, Gwen, and Heather.

"How does he do that?!" DJ cried, jealous.

Alejandro climbed into the ball. Trent, Duncan, Eva, and Owen took places at the paddles.

"It's Human Pinball Time!" Chris announced again.

Chef shot Alejandro onto the board. He demonstrated much greater control than DJ, as Ting-Ting was much less interested in mauling him. The Spaniard was able to keep his balance as he bounced efficiently around the board, collecting points. Trent, Duncan, Eva, and Owen didn't even have to do anything. Alejandro was just that efficient. And his friend was being quite helpful, pointing out good routes that would rack up the most points.

"Thanks, Ting-Ting! That's a great idea!" Alejandro thanked.

After about five minutes, Alejandro decided that he had done enough and rolled willingly into the gutter. The final score was 462,000 points. The ball opened up and Alejandro walked out, holding Ting-Ting victoriously over his head. Team Minotaur cheered, save for Eva, who merely grinned and pumped her fist.

"With four-hundred-sixty-thousand points, Team Minotaur takes the lead! Can the Amazons top that?" Chris narrated. "Let's see! Team Amazon, give us your ball girl!"

"Sadie and I will do it together!" Katie volunteered.

"You wanna do it with me?!" Sadie gasped.

"Of course! I've always wanted to go to China with you!"

"China? Katie, we're in Korea!"

"Are you sure? Because Harold said that pandas are from China!"

"Girls! Stop fighting and get in the ball!" Heather commanded. The BFFFLs walked over to the ball cooing and awing at Ting-Ting. That is, until the panda realized that these two were not Alejandro and snarled aggressively at them. Frightened, Katie and Sadie ran out of the studio with their arms over their heads and screaming their lungs out.

"Looks like they changed their minds." Alejandro commented.

"Okay! Anyone else?" Chris asked.

"Gwen's face could use some remodeling!" Heather suggested venomously.

"Heather, I'd like to remind you that we are on the same team!" Gwen pointed out. "So you might wanna flip the bitch switch back off!"

"Would you girls like some leadership?" Courtney interjected snottily. "I'd be glad to choose!"

"Enough bickering!" Cody cried, fed up. "I'll do it!"

"You might wanna bring a toothbrush, Cody!" Chris suggested, a naughty grin on his face. "Because the beast you'll be sharing your space with is… Sierra!"

The look on Cody's face made it quite clear that he would have preferred the vicious bear. He didn't get a chance to protest as Sierra let out a squeal of delight, tackled Cody, and carried him into the ball. Heather went back outside to retrieve Katie and Sadie. Once they returned, they all took positions at the paddles.

"It's Human Pinball Time!"

Chef shot Cody and Sierra onto the board. Cody lost balance almost immediately, thanks to Sierra grabbing him and forcefully kissing him. The ball rolled aimlessly around the board, not hitting much. It bounced off Gwen's paddle twice, and once off of Courtney's.

"I'm telling you! We're in China!" Katie argued.

"Korea! Korea! China has stars on its flag! Korea has the rising sun flag!" Sadie shot back.

"Girls!" Heather shouted. "They're coming your way!"

"Huh?" The BFFFLs chirped stupidly. The ball rolled down Katie and Sadie's paddle and fell into the gutter. It hadn't even been two minutes. Their final score was 37,500 points.

The ball opened and Cody fell out, his face covered in kiss marks.

"If I had a dollar for every time she kissed me-!" Cody began.

"We'd be millionaires!" Sierra said shamelessly.

Confessional: Cody

"Duncan, bro! How could you do this to me?!" (Wails)

End Confessional

"And less than fifty-thousand for the girls!" Chris announced. "This means they're in third. And the manly Minotaurs take the Super Human Mega Pinball Smash! And win a leg up in the next Japanese challenge!"

"Way to go, girls!" Courtney scolded Katie and Sadie, who grinned guiltily.

"Will things end the same way as last episode? Will Katie and Sadie remember what country we're in? Will Alejandro carry his team all the way to victory again? Stay tuned! There's more… Wacky Tacky Macky Teriyaki Action after the break!"

After the commercial break, the teams had gathered back on the Jumbo Plane in First Class. They were currently watching a Japanese promo for Total Drama Action on the TV.

"Welcome to Total… Drama… Action!" Chris narrated. Japanese letters flashed across the screen. "Where there were will be crazy action! Kooky filming! And somber eating!"

The scenes switched between Gwen, Duncan, and Trent running from a bear, Trent setting up a movie scene, and Owen scarfing a turkey as though it were a Ritalin pill.

"Very nice food! I like it!" said the on-screen Owen, except his voice was completely different. It was lower and much smoother than the real Owen.

The scene switched to Izzy climbing out of a giant robot monster's hand.

"Hey there, way-oh-so-hot monster!" said Izzy in a sultry, relaxed voice that did not belong to her.

"Total Drama Action! Coming Soon! Pears and Apples of fun!" Chris announced.

The commercial ended and the contestant just stared blankly at Chris.

"Um, what?" Noah asked, flatly.

"That piece of cinematic gold is the Japanese promo! Total Drama is huge here!" Chris explained.

"Okay…" said Courtney. "But that was in English! So, why are they dubbing our voices?"

"Turns out the locals just like the sounds of y'all!"

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"Sorry!"

"No, you're not!"

"True…" Chris admitted cheekily. "Ready for the next challenge? I hope you paid attention because you'll be writing, directing, and producing your very own Japanese commercial! There's a brand-new candy hitting the Japanese market! It's Chef Hatchet's… Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails! I call this… the Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails Challenge!"

"You said we were gonna pay a real Tokyo ad firm!" Chef complained.

"Yeah, well, I lied!" said Chris. Chef growled. Chris turned back to the contestants. "To film your commercials, you'll be allowed to use anything you can find in the plane's cargo hold! Since Team Minotaur won the first challenge, they get first dibs!"

Team Minotaur cheered and did a group high-five.

"With Team Victory choosing second and Team Amazon stuck with whatever's left!"

Team Victory nodded neutrally while Team Amazon pouted.

"Chef will be judging your commercials! His favorite will fly First Class to our next stop! His least favorite will cost its team a member!"

Chris handed Alejandro a video camera, a laptop for editing, and six bags of Candy Fish Tails. Then he and his team descended into the cargo hold of the plane to look for supplies and brainstorm.

"You guys got any ideas?" Trent asked.

"How about we make a commercial starring a couple of burglars who break into a vault full of gold bullions and fishtails, and they only take the fishtails?" Duncan suggested.

"Very creative!" Alejandro complimented. "But it doesn't feel Japanese enough!"

"How about a struggling sumo wrestler who eats some fishtails and suddenly becomes a badass?" Tyler proposed.

"Not bad… But who would be willing to dress as sumo wrestlers?"

"I would!" said Owen.

"Okay, anyone else?" said Alejandro. He looked at his teammates and found that no one else looked quite ecstatic at the thought of wearing a thick white loincloth.

"Duncan? Trent? Eva?"

"Mm-mm!" Trent grunted, shaking his head.

"No way!" said Duncan.

"Not in million ice ages!" said Eva.

"How about we start looking, first? See what we can find before we choose what to do?"

"A very wise plan, Trenton!" Alejandro complimented.

And so Team Minotaur spent about ten minutes searching the crates in the cargo hold. Eva found several costumes that Chef had worn over the past two seasons. Duncan found a cache of soldier uniforms and helmets. Owen and Izzy found a collection of toy houses. Tyler found some toy guns.

"Hm… let's see…" said Alejandro, going over their inventory. "I'm seeing… a tiny Tokyo… and a giant radioactive monster fight!"

"Oh yes!" Izzy cried. "Big O can be one of the monsters! Right, Owen? Pleeeeeeeeease?!" Izzy gave a sexy growl as she hugged her boyfriend.

"Al, you're a genius!" Owen complimented.

"Super Japanese idea, Al!" Tyler complimented.

"Got my vote, Al!" said Trent.

"Please, gentlemen, it's Alejandro." said the Spaniard patiently. "Noah, Eva, Duncan, your thoughts?"

"Eh, I guess…" said Noah.

"Whatever." said Duncan. Eva shrugged.

Satisfied, Team Minotaur loaded up their finds into boxes and exited the cargo hold. Team Victory was standing just outside, waiting for them to finish.

"Good luck, honorable opponent!" Alejandro told Harold reverently. He bowed slightly at the ginger.

"I don't need your luck!" Harold scoffed.

"Of course, you don't! You have superior leadership skills and vision! Your team is lucky to have you!" Alejandro made a movie screen with his fingers.

"I know, right? They are!" said Harold. Alejandro grinned deviously before taking off with the rest of his team towards a nearby studio.

Once Team Minotaur left, Team Victory began discussing potential ideas.

"I have an idea!" Lindsay cried. "Last time I went out for Japanese, I had these huge bowls of Pad Tai! And it was-"

"Pad Tai is Tai!" Leshawna interrupted.

"Are you sure? Because that doesn't sound right!"

"Fear not, Leshawna!" Harold cried boldly. "I have a dramatic vision! It mixes Kurosawa's pathos with Miyazaki's sense of wonder!"

"I think I ordered that at the Japanese place, too!" Lindsay exclaimed.

Team Victory rummaged around the cargo hold snatching up whatever they could find.

Eventually, Team Victory left, allowing Team Amazon their turn. They all searched the cargo hold and were ashamed at what they managed to find. They found an old box of donuts, a fish tank, a dead seagull, some fireworks, a hockey mask, a basketball, and Christmas lights.

"Ugh, how did we get stuck with the bottom of the barrel?" Katie asked. Gwen leered at her and Sadie. "Oh, right! Sorry."

"We'll never get to First Class." Courtney moaned hopelessly.

Meanwhile, Tyler, Noah, Izzy, and Duncan were setting up a model city for their commercial. Owen and Eva were trying on monster costumes. Trent and Alejandro were writing a script for their commercial on the laptop.

"RAWR!" Owen roared, stomping in dressed like a giant spider with the head of a xenomorph. "OWEN STOMP! OWEN STOMP GOOD!"

"Hold on there, chubby buddy!" said Noah. "Let us finish the tiny city first!"

"Say, what do these things actually taste like?" Trent asked. The bags had Japanese characters and he was unable to read the print.

"I don't know." said Alejandro, looking over one of the packages. "It doesn't list the flavor on the bag. I guess there's only one way to find out!"

Alejandro opened the package and poured a handful of fishtails into his hand. Expecting them to taste similar to Swedish Fish, he popped one into his mouth. Immediately, he realized why the flavor of the candy was not being advertised. He spat it out, dramatically, his face turning green.

"Ew! How bad?" Trent asked.

"Like… rotted fish intestine with a side order of fermented squid and… dirty hockey equipment!" Alejandro nearly threw up.

"Really? That sounds like an exaggeration." said Trent. Alejandro held out the bag for him. Trent grabbed a fishtail and threw in it his mouth, only to end up eating his words rather than the candy.

"Blegh!" he cried. He turned back to the laptop. "I guess we won't be specifying the flavor in the song."

"Song? What song?" Duncan demanded. He stopped setting up the model city and marched over to Trent.

"After the monsters are pacified, the soldiers are all going to sing a little jingle about the candy!" Trent explained.

"Like hell they are!" Duncan snapped.

"Dude! It's for the commercial!" Trent argued.

"I don't care! Birds sing, Disney Princesses sing… Duncans do not sing!"

"If you hate singing so much, then why are you dating Courtney?"

"Why do you care?!"

"Gentlemen!" Alejandro interrupted. "Duncan, if you can stomach these fishtails, you can be one of the monsters."

"Piece of cake!" said Duncan cockily. He swiped a fishtail and dropped it in his mouth. A look of surprise and disgust crossed his face but he managed to swallow and keep it down.

"Ugh! Do Japanese people really like this kind of crap?"

"Well, ya know, Chef made it." Trent pointed out.

"Lemme try!" said Owen, snatching the bag from Alejandro. He dumped the entire bag into his mouth and chewed like a cow. "Mm! Fishy!"

The rest of the Minotaurs watched in horror and disgust.

"Duncan…" said Alejandro, trying not to throw up. "We are going to need a monster that'll be able to enjoy these things…"

"I'll be a soldier…" said Duncan, resigned. "But don't expect me to do more than move my lips!"

Meanwhile, with Team Victory…

DJ and Justin were setting up a backdrop of a mountain. Ezekiel was dressed up as a horse and Harold was sitting on his back. Geoff and Bridgette were making out. Lindsay and Leshawna were testing a sprinkler system. Harold sat on the horse, dressed as a samurai.

"More rain!" Harold demanded. "It needs to be somberer!"

"We're trying, Harold!" Leshawna snapped.

"It's Sensei! Call me Sensei!"

"Um, not to toot my own horn," said Justin. "But wouldn't it make more sense if I was the samurai?"

"Looks aren't everything, Justin!" Harold snapped.

"Harold, humans are vain creatures, let's face it!" said Justin. "A good-looking lead can do a lot to sway opinions."

"If you think your knowledge of Feudal Japan trumps mine, you're sorely mistaken!"

Justin rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, with Team Amazon…

The Amazons were gathered around the fish tank. Heather dumped one of their three bags into it. Duncan had snuck away from Team Minotaur to see how his old team was doing without him.

"We have the candy fish swimming in the fish tank, then they break out and play basketball!" Heather explained. "Like, duh!"

"Who are you, Dr. Seuss?" Gwen scoffed. She held up a hockey mask. "Spinning heads. We toss candy into their mouths and-"

"Insane!" Courtney interrupted. "Flashing lights and fireworks! Chef wants to be dazzled!"

"I'm with Heather on this!" said Sierra.

"I'm with Gwen!" said Katie.

"I vote for Courtney!" said Sadie.

"Girls! They're all great ideas!" said Cody, trying to mediate. "What say we compromise?"

"Overruled!" Heather declared. "Fishtank basketball!"

"Hello?!" Gwen snapped. "The only way we're winning is with the spinning heads! And lots of them!"

"You people are impossible! I am so outta here!" Courtney yelled, storming off.

"Well, so am I!" cried Heather, also storming off.

"FINE!" Gwen screamed, also storming off.

"Um, we can't storm off together! That kinda defeats the purpose!" Courtney lectured.

"Then you go that way!"

"No, you go that way!"

"I came this way, first!"

Confessional: Duncan

"Boy, did I dodge a bullet!"

End Confessional

Cody turned to the less stubborn girls left on his team.

"Looks like it up to us!" said Cody.

"So, what do we do?" Katie asked.

"Like I said, we compromise on Gwen, Heather, and Courtney's ideas!"

"You have twenty minutes left to film and edit your ads!" Chris announced. "Then it's Happy Fish… Yum... Whatever! We'll be watching them in twenty minutes!"

Katie put on the hockey mask. Sadie held up the fish tank. Sierra wrapped herself in Christmas lights and prepared to light the fireworks.

"Okay, now what we do?" Katie asked.

"You'll just have to wing it." said Cody. "I'll take care of the editing."

"Thrilling!" Sierra exclaimed. "You're such a great leader, Cody!"

"Yeah… Alright! Rolling tape in five, four, three, two…"

Twenty minutes later, the teams all converged back in First Class. Team Amazon was short Cody and Sierra. Gwen, Heather, and Courtney just stood in the back, folding their arms and pouting grumpily. Owen was still in his monster costume.

"We're done filming, Owen!" Tyler told the big guy. "You can take the costume off."

"Uh, I got all sweaty and now it won't come off!" Owen explained, grinning sheepishly.

Chris, not realizing he was short two contestants, walked to the TV to begin.

"Alright! Now that you're done filming, it's time to see if your hard work has paid off! Chef?"

"No-budget, no-ad agency, rip-off, cheeseball, cheap show…!" Chef grumbled bitterly. He reluctantly held up the remote to the TV.

"First up, Team Minotaur with Monster Battle!" Chris announced. Trent walked over to the TV, plugged in a flash drive, and played his team's commercial.

Monster Battle

Owen, dressed as a spider-xenomorph roared and bellowed as he crushed cardboard houses. He faced off against Eva, whose skin had been painted green, and was now wearing a torn purple dress. She was barefoot and had let her hair down. She resembled a female version of the Incredible Hulk.

"Rawr! Monster noises!" Owen growled.

"She-Hulk smash!" Eva roared.

As Eva and Owen faked a fight, the scene cut to the rest of Team Minotaur all wearing combat helmets.

"Oh no! Fatzilla and She-Hulk are fighting in the middle of Tokyo!" Trent cried.

"At this rate, they'll destroy the entire city!" cried Duncan.

"We must run!" Tyler cried

"Think of the children!" Noah cried in monotone.

"He's so sexy!" Izzy gushed, apparently forgetting her line.

"Wait!" cried Alejandro. "We shall stop them with these!"

He held up a bag of Candy Fishtails. The camera focused on the bag for a brief second. We then see Alejandro toss two fishtails. One lands in Owen's mouth, the other in Eva's.

"Oh, delicious!" cried Owen.

"She-Hulk eat!" cried Eva.

Upbeat Japanese pop music started playing. Owen began dancing and Eva began stuffing her face with the candy. An orange swirling background came up and the faces of Trent, Izzy, Noah, Tyler, Alejandro, and Duncan appeared and began singing a jingle.

"Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails! Better than No-No Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time! Taste so good! Wash your face!"

The commercial ended on an image of the bag.

End Commercial

Chef gave a single nod, a neutral expression on his face.

"Next up, Team Victory with A Samurai's Lament!" Chris announced. As Sensei Harold proudly delivered his flash drive to Chef, Courtney turned to Gwen.

"Could you make out Duncan's singing?" she asked.

"Uh, there were like six people singing." Gwen pointed out.

"I know, but we still should have been able to make out his voice."

Duncan rolled his eyes.

A Samurai's Lament

The picture was black and white. Harold, dressed as a samurai and holding a lightsaber, rode on the back of Ezekiel, who was dressed like a horse. Heavy rain fell as he crossed the backdrop. He came across DJ, Lindsay, Justin, and Leshawna, who were dressed as Japanese peasants.

"Great samurai!" Lindsay cried dramatically.

"Please! Do you have food?!" Leshawna pleaded.

"This famine has cost us everything!" DJ wailed.

"The hunger! The hunger! The hunger!" Justin bellowed dramatically, falling to his knees.

A beach ball bounced across the scene. Harold was seen lying on the ground. The ball came in contact with the lightsaber and popped.

"Duty… Honor…" Harold moaned dramatically. He then held a Candy Fishtail to his mouth. "Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails! Eat them fast! Time is fleeting! Gosh!"

End Commercial

Chef tilted his head in bewilderment. Teams Minotaur and Amazon had similar expressions. Team Victory looked quite embarrassed.

"Yeah… That was… something…" said Chris.

"Maybe your Pad Tai idea wasn't so bad after all." Leshawna admitted to Lindsay.

"See, I told you!" Lindsay exclaimed indignantly.

"It was art!" Harold shouted, frustrated. "A metaphor! A commentary on the Earth's sorrow and its crying out for-!"

BONK!

Duncan took off his shoe and chucked it into Harold's head.

"It was bullcrap!" he cried.

"Next up, the Amazons!" Chris announced. The Minotaurs and Victors turned to the Amazons. Heather, Gwen, and Courtney looked even more embarrassed than Team Victory. Katie and Sadie looked anxious.

"Ugh, this is humiliating!" Gwen whispered.

"What do we tell him?!" Heather whispered.

"Come on, Cody, where are you?" Katie asked.

"Girls?" Chris inquired.

"Chris…" said Courtney. "As the leader of Team Amazon… it falls to me to tell you that… our team didn't come-"

"Come up with an awesome name for our awesome commercial!" Cody cried, running in dramatically, Sierra at his side.

"We have a commercial?" Gwen questioned.

"Let's just call it, 'Huh?'" Cody proclaimed, hooking the flash drive up to the TV.

Huh?

Fast and energetic music began playing and many images flashed across the screen, including hockey masks, donuts, Christmas lights, and the seagull corpse.

"Yum! Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails!" sang Katie, Sadie, and Sierra.

"Eat them now!" sang Katie.

"Eat them then!" sang Sadie.

"Eat them anytime!" sang Sierra.

"Just eat them, yeah!" sang all three. Sadie then gobbled down an armful of Fish Tails, much to Katie and Sierra's shock.

End Commercial

Even after the video cut to static, everyone stared at the TV, absolutely dumbfounded, save for the four involved in the commercial.

"Okay…" Chris eventually muttered. "Well, Chef? Whaddaya think? Who had the best commercial?"

Chef put his finger and thumb to his chin in thought. After a couple of seconds, he made up his mind.

"Chris, I'm gonna have to go with… Team Amazon!" Chef declared.

Overcome with relief, Team Amazon cheered.

"I dunno. I just love exploding donuts!" Chef shrugged.

"Cody, that was amazing!" Gwen complimented.

"Totally amazing!" Courtney concurred.

Cody basked in the praise.

"Isn't he? Group hug!" Sierra declared, glomping Cody. The other girls reached in for the hug. "Back off!" Sierra barked, confusing the other Amazons.

"Congratulations, Team Amazon! First Class is all yours!" Chris proclaimed. "Along with ten bags of Candy Fishtails!"

"Oh yay!" cried Sadie, oblivious to the disgusted looks of her teammates. "Katie, you think they have tartar sauce in First Class?"

"But, Chef! I also need to know: Who had the worst commercial?" Chris asked.

"Um… Team Victory!" Chef answered. "What with the sad donkey, and the ugly ninja dude! You guys lose! You're sending someone home!"

"I got mauled by a panda and we still lost?!" DJ whined.

"Toldja I shoulda been the samurai!" Justin scolded arrogantly.

Elimination Ceremony: Team Victory

At dusk, Team Victory was evicted from the plane. Just outside, they saw the same setup as the elimination ceremony in Egypt: a thatched hut, eight seats, a campfire, and a voting booth.

The eight members of Team Victory sat down. Bridgette, Geoff, DJ, and Justin sat in the back. Lindsay, Harold, Ezekiel, and Leshawna sat in the front. They sat patiently for about two minutes before Chris came out with an armful of passports.

"Team Victory! Welcome to defeat!" Chris greeted. Team Victory did not seem to appreciate the irony. "It's vote time! Here's how it goes! I have passports for each of you! Inside, you will find pictures of your teammates! You will take your passport into the voting booth, where you will find a sheet of stickers of the Japanese Rising Sun flag! Take one of those stickers and stick it on the picture of the person you'd like to kick off! Then come out and hand it to me! Got it? Lindsay?"

"Of course! I so totally get it!" said Lindsay.

"Good! Because your elimination last season was, quite frankly, embarrassing! Even for you!" Chris commented.

"Why the Rising Sun flag instead of the national flag?" Harold asked.

"Because the national flag is so boring!" Chris explained. "Now shut up and start voting! Bridgette, you go first! Geoff, you wait your turn!"

With reluctance, Bridgette pried herself away from her boyfriend and walked over to Chris. The host handed her a passport and she went into the voting booth to cast her vote. After a minute, she exited and handed her passport to Chris. DJ was the next to vote, followed by Ezekiel, then Geoff, then Harold, then Justin, then Leshawna, and Lindsay voted last.

"Hey, you did it, Lindsay!" Chris commented condescendingly. "I'm impressed!"

"Thanks!" said Lindsay, not realizing that Chris was making fun of her.

Once the blonde bimbo sat back down, Chris began.

"Alright! The votes are in! Those staying in the game will receive a boarding pass back onto the plane! He or she who winds up without a pass shall be left behind!" Chris explained. "The following players are safe!"

"DJ!"

"Bridgette!"

"Lindsay!"

"Leshawna!"

"Geoff!"

"Justin!"

The six named members of Team Victory grabbed their passes.

"Harold, Zeke, this is the final ticket of the night." said Chris. Harold looked nervous, but it was nothing compared to Ezekiel, who looked as though Chris was pointing a gun at him.

"Ezekiel!" Chris announced.

"Oh-ho-ho! YES!" Ezekiel cried. "I am still in it! Woo!"

"Damn!" Harold cussed. A sad and guilty expression crossed Leshawna's face. She came up to him and patted his shoulder.

"Sorry, sugar pie." she told him.

"It's okay. I did do the best in Total Drama Action out of anyone on this team, so I can't say I'm surprised to be the first one out." said Harold. Most of his team rolled their eyes, save for Geoff and Lindsay.

"Sure. That's exactly why!" Leshawna lied.

"Later man! Better luck next time!" cried Geoff.

"Bye, Harvey!" Lindsay called.

The surviving members of Team Victory filed onto the plane. Chef tossed Harold's belongings out the door before closing it. The plane then took off blowing dust onto Harold and leaving him behind.

Confessional: Alejandro

"'Team Victory?' Ha! Such arrogance! I am going to ensure they don't even make the merge!"

End Confessional

From the cockpit, Chris closed out the episode.

"Sayonara, Japan!" he narrated. "Where will our travels take us next? Will Team Amazon be able to keep the peace? What other weird products does Chef wanna sell? All these questions, except for the last one, will be answered on the next episode of Total… Drama… World Tour!"


Votes

Bridgette: Ezekiel

DJ: Harold

Ezekiel: Harold

Geoff: Harold

Harold: Ezekiel

Justin: Harold

Leshawna: Harold

Lindsay: Ezekiel

Results

Harold: 5 votes (Eliminated)

Ezekiel: 3 votes

Rankings

23. Harold

24. Beth

Author's note: And there goes Harold. In canon, he seemed to have been flanderized into an insufferable know-it-all, which I guess was justification enough for his early elimination. Quite frankly, that worked for me. Harold was always neutral for me at best and lately, I've become less sympathetic to him, thanks to him rigging Courtney out of TDI. Other changes include Katie and Sadie helping Cody and Sierra with the commercial, Justin arguing with Harold, and the teams doing the pinball challenge one at a time. The last one made it simpler for me. Overall, not too much has changed from canon. What do you guys think?