FULLMETAL ROMANCE

I own Armstrongia. She's the best character ever.

Couple of this Fic - ArmstrongXArmstrongia

Comical. Don't like, Don't read.

"Riza, it can't be all that bad." Roy whispered, as Hawkeye stood in front of his desk. He was told to keep his voice low. She looked completely petrified, beyond all control. It was nothing like the cool, calm attitude she normally had.

"Oh, but sir, it is. . . " Her eyes were wide, and she looked as if she had just seen a ghost. It was so out of character for the young woman to be anything but calm and collective.

"Then tell me what happened." She gulped.

"Armstrong . . . asked me out." Roy almost gasped. He had no idea that the Armstrong harbored such feelings for Riza - or anyone for that matter. He was always someone to love people in a sibling way, but men do get lonely from time to time. Especially in the military.

"What did you say?" Roy asked with curiosity.

"That my grandmother was hit by a train, and I had to go to her funeral."

"And then what?"

"He asked what I was doing the next night."

"What did you say then?"

"My other grandmother was hit by a train."

" . . . He fell for that?"

"Yup . . . "

Armstrong was a lonely man, it was no doubt. The rest of the Armstrong generation had made it big - Artists, athletes, carnies . . . The only one who decided not to go on the road was Alex Armstrong, and sometimes, he regretted the decision. Despite his looks, that came from his father, his intelligence, from his grandfather, his strength from . . . someone else he was related too. No woman seemed to be attracted to him. He had tried his luck with the ladies, but it always went foul. He actually felt guilty, because whenever he'd ask a woman, it'd be in her time of despair when a relative had passed away. Saturday nights were always lonely on his calendar, and then he saw Maria Ross.

"Hello." He greeted her, trying to be cheerful.

"Hello, Armstrong."

"I have a question, mam. Have any of your family members go under the status of deceased within the past week, and you have an upcoming funeral for them?"

"Uh, no sir." Armstrong's mustache lifted.

"Then, may I ask if you would like to go to dinner this Saturday?"

" . . .Oh wait, you didn't mean only immediate family?"

" . . . Nevermind then." A pink, glittery tear slid from Armstrongs eyes as he turned around. His sparkles had become dull, and his baby blue eyes were brimmed with the cursed liquid that took away his manliness. That is, until he saw a certain woman across the street staring at him.

She must've been six foot three, with such large muscles, only Armstrong's could compare. She too, had a small mustache, and long blonde hair held up by a pink head band. Armstrong tried to ignore the fact that her sundress revealed her slightly hairy legs, and he fell in love right away. His eyes felt like hearts, as he crossed the street.

"Mam, it is a pleasure to meet you, and may I say that your beauty defies any that I've seen in your time. It would be an honor if you could tell me your name?" A gruff, yet high-pitched voice answered.

" . . . Armstrongia."

"Do you have any family that recently passed away, Armstrongia?"

"No, my family travels, due to their amazing talents. I decided to settle down and devote my life to fashion designing!" Armstrong's eyes sparkled like they hadn't in months.

" . . . Fashion designing . . ." He ripped his shirt off and did a heroic pose. "My TRUE CALLING!"

"Wouldn't you like to come down to my shop, and try on some dresses?" Armstrong's sparkles didn't cease to shine.

"Of course!" She wrote her address down on Armstrongs hand, and for once, he was getting the girl.