Total Drama World Tour Deluxe
Aftermath: Revenge of the Women Scorned
Review Responses
Cody Fanatic: You know, I don't really meet many people who are tough on Izzy. You provide a nice new perspective.
AzothSpider1118: Throwing you for a loop, am I? Thank you.
LaCuevademisgustos: 1. Probably! 2. Yup. Poor Justin. 3. Some encouraging words on Trentney! Thank you! 4. We'll see!
Guest A: 1. Cool. 2. They never offered any other explanations. And a confessional he made afterwards had him admitting that there were good reasons to vote her off. 3. A good few: Dave, Gwen, Sammy, Ella, Mike, and Ennui all come to mind. 4. Yes, I have made up full names for all the characters. 5. They all dumped the responsibility of calming Sierra down on the person who likes her the least. 7. Perhaps. I just wish we could have Owen do something nice for Gwen for once, instead of the other way around. 8. You're welcome! 9. Duncan was developing a good friendship with Gwen in TDA, which strengthened when Courtney pushed him away. Trent and Courtney bonded over the course of this fic when they sang together for Eva, and when Trent lost his guitar. 10. I understood that reference. 11. Duncan was a threat because he almost won TDA, Trent was worried about his relationships with a few members of Team Amazon, Owen bombed the bobsleds, and Tyler has poor social skills.
MDReborn: Yep, Izzy screwed up here, didn't she? If there was another place they could have visited... perhaps Transylvania?
AnonBrowser: Yeah, hopefully, the delay made it all the more satisfying. Izzy really has paid for betraying her alliance. Wish Owen faced similar consequences in TDI. But yeah, speaking of the big guy, he is definitely owed some sympathy here, as is Justin. And yes, good for DJ, he had his good friend Lindsay with him.
Guest B: There are so many crazy ships out there, so I think I'm entitled to one of my own.
SuperSonicHeroes: Yeah, Izzy may be entertaining, but realistically, she's not a good game player, which is why the writers had to have her return on two separate occasions to get the most out of her. I don't have strong opinions on Ozzy as a couple, but it did provide an opportunity for Alejandro to prove that he's a bad boy. And I see that you're quite the expert on picking up all the references I make! Yes, Noah being the first boot of his team isn't something that gets brought up as much Ezekiel. And we'll certainly see what becomes of Team Victory from this point forward.
Jade's One of a Kind: Well, thank you very much.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thank you!
Egor1580: Alright then. Thanks.
AstridEstelle: Owen and Gwen's friendship seemed like it was just there to hype up how awesome Owen was, not to actually give Gwen any development (at least, not on purpose). Yes, I have a winner planned, and yes, I have this all planned out. Sure, there's a bit of improvisation here and there, but I do have this planned out.
Crosshot: Indeed.
TotalPizza: I know there are plenty of odd friendships in the series, but Gwen and Owen is a bit too odd for me to buy without some significant development and focus like she got with Geoff. Remember, Gwen started off hating Geoff because he was always in a good mood and had bad table manners. Owen is arguably worse in that regard, and yet, somehow, he's the only one Gwen wouldn't mind losing to? Would she be devastated if she lost to anyone else, including Trent or Leshawna? You gotta admit, Owen pulled lots of stupid crap that Gwen was clearly annoyed, disgusted, or weirded out by. So I don't think he deserves to be acknowledged as someone who never did anything wrong, while Geoff's hard-earned friendship with her is completely forgotten about.
Regardless, thank you for your review.
lordgemini: Thank you!
wacky620: Son of a gun.
SilentSinger948: I know. But sometimes, teams just aren't evenly balanced. Yeah, maybe I could have done more with Justin.
iiamcalledkaren2: Yes, they did!
Rockin' D-99: Yeah, with the Ozzy breakup I'm glad a bit of build-up can soften the blow. As for Izzy's high intelligence not being utter bullshit, I assume that only applies to her when she's Brainzilla. Yes, there was indeed a Spongebob reference. And the Fairly Oddparents episode I referenced is the Jimmy Timmy Power Hour, the first crossover with Jimmy Neutron.
Devoted Reader: That seems a bit underhanded for Sierra. Maybe further along the line, when her desperation and obsessionare at an alltime high, she might consider it, but I feel she wants her relationship to be more romantic than that.
Several clips played, including the scene of Leshawna punching Eva in the face, the scene of Cody's pants falling down as he zipped across the Amazon river, the scene of Cody smacking Sierra, the scene of Gwen comforting Duncan, the scene of DJ making out with a cod, and the scene of Trent rescuing Courtney.
After the theme song, the Aftermath theme begins playing, followed by the sound of cheering and applause. We cut to the set of the Aftermath show, where Josh and Blaineley sat on the red sofa in the center stage. Josh was still wearing the same tuxedo from the last Aftermath but his bowtie was azure, with Blaineley's dress being the same lovely shade of blue. Beth, Harrold, Bridgette, and Geoff were already sitting in the peanut gallery.
"Hey, hey, hey, Total Drama lovers!" Josh greeted. "I'm Josh! And this is my co-host, Blaineley!"
"I believe you mean to say 'My lovely co-host, Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran!'" Blaineley corrected cheekily.
"My… ever-so-spunky co-host, Blaineley!" Josh teased. Blaineley rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. Welcome to our second Aftermath show! Before we get started, let's give a warm welcome to the true stars of the show: The Total Drama Peanut Gallery! Beth, Harold, Bridgette, and Geoff!"
Beth and Harold waved to the cheering audience. Geoff and Bridgette were less enthusiastic but greeted the audience as well.
"How's it going, guys?" Josh greeted. "You enjoy the last couple of episodes?"
"Yep." said Beth.
"No!" cried Harold.
"A little…" said Bridgette.
"Well… in a strange way, yes!" said Geoff.
"Ooh! Looks like we got some mixed reception, Josh!" Blaineley commented. "Tell us, Geoff! What's this strange way you've been enjoying the show?"
"I'm just relieved that I'm not the only dude whose chick went soft for that Ale-jerk-dro! Uh, no offense, Harold!"
"None taken. After all, misery loves company!" said Harold wisely.
"Does this mean you're considering taking Bridgette back?" Josh asked.
"Not without a really good reason." said Geoff firmly. Josh and Blaineley looked slightly relieved.
"Thank you for your input, guys!" said Blaineley. She and Josh turned to the audience. "Like last time, we'll be interviewing everyone who's left the show in the past five episodes!"
"Everyone we could find, that is!" Josh pointed out. "Because one Total Drama contestant is AWOL!"
The audience gasped dramatically.
"Which leads us to our first segment, as designed by moi!" said Blaineley. "Total Drama Fugitives!"
"You might remember that in Paris, our homeschooled hoser homie, Ezekiel, was forced to say au revoir to his fellow contestants!" Josh recapped. "But when the Plane of Losers came to bring Ezekiel back here to Toronto, he was nowhere to be found!"
"But we at Celebrity Manhunt are experts at tracking down camera-shy stars!" Blaineley boasted. "And our hidden cameras captured this footage!"
Clip Begins
Izzy was seen tied to a chair in First Class. She seemed to be sleeping soundly, but then she cracked her eyes open and gasped. Looking out the window, she saw that it was dark and stormy. There was a lumpy silhouette on the plane's wing. A bolt of lightning appeared, briefly illuminating the shadowy figure, revealing it to be Ezekiel clinging to the underside of the plane.
"ARGH! GREMLIN!" Izzy screamed.
Clip Begins
In the next clip, we see Chris relaxing in his hot tub. He cracked his eyes open a wee bit, only to have them shoot wide open. Through the steam, he saw the silhouette of Ezekiel sitting on the opposite end of his tub. Perturbed, Chris reached over the side of his tub and seized a wooden baseball bat, but the silhouette disappeared like a ghost. Chris put the bat down, looking highly unsettled.
Clip Ends
The audience chattered in excitement and intrigue.
"Wow. Ezekiel just doesn't know when to quit." Josh commented. "Right, Blaineley?"
"No kidding. You'd think getting past the first quarter of the season would seem like an accomplishment to him." said Blaineley.
"That's what ya get for setting your expectations too high!" said Josh.
"Right. Well, that was fun, Josh. But what say we get on with the interrogations? I mean, interviews?"
"Sounds good to me!" Josh agreed. "Our first guest is just bursting with personality and sass! Originally one of the favorites to win Total Drama Island, she was rigged out of the game by reasons still under heavy criticism! Second season, a bit of her dark side started to seep through the cracks, only to fully manifest in Season Three, when she attacked Eva, unprovoked. Please welcome the queen of the knuckle sandwich herself, Leshawna!"
The audience cheered as Leshawna rolled onstage in a wheelchair. In spite of her new handicap, she crossed the stage with swagger, smiling and waving.
"Leshawna!" Blaineley greeted. "How's our favorite sistah with 'tude?"
"Well, I've been tryna look on the bright side of things," Leshawna answered. "But it ain't been easy. This is easily the worst I've done on Total Drama. And it's all Alejandro's fault! Who knew he was evil?! That handsome fool played me!" Leshawna scowled in rage as she pounded her fist into her palm. She then turned to Harold.
"Harold… Baby… He didn't mean anything! I was so lost without you! And that nasty bad boy took advantage!" she told the dweeb. Harold smiled and swooned. "I swear, when I get my hands on his silky smooth… I mean demonic and profane butt, I'm gonna put him in a wheelchair!"
"Well said!" said Blaineley. "You know, you were issued a warning from Heather that Alejandro was up to no good. Why didn't you take it?"
"Are you seriously asking me why I wasn't trustin' Heather?" Leshawna snapped.
"Well, you did seem friendlier with her by the end of Total Drama Action." Josh pointed out.
"And that's why I didn't kick the shit outta her instead of Eva!" Leshawna snapped. "Just because we stopped tryna kill each other doesn't mean we're girlfriends!"
"Yeah, but Eva?" Blaineley inquired. "The strongest and most aggressive contestant there? What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking… Eva's a bully. And the thing about bullies is that they don't pick on anyone their own size or bigger."
"She picked on Owen." said Josh. "I'm sure you remember her other big freakout in Germany?"
"Yeah, but Owen was helpless. Immobilized. He couldn't run away and he couldn't defend himself. Anyway, I thought she was a coward. That her threats were all bluffs. Usually if you stand up to these people, they knock it off. And as soon as she dissed my rump, I thought it was the perfect time to put her in her place but…"
"But you overstepped?" said Blaineley.
"And underestimated her." Josh added.
"Yeah. But honestly, I don't blame her anymore." Leshawna admitted. "Alejandro was jerking me around and Heather was jerking her around. Put that together, and I'm in this damn chair."
"For how long?"
"A month."
"A whole month without seeing our sassy queen's fantastic dance moves?" Blaineley gasped. "That's just tragic!"
"Ain't that the truth?" Leshawna concurred, not picking up on Blaineley's sarcasm.
"Back to Heather, she made a confessional after your elimination. We want to get your reaction to it!"
The screen played a confessional.
Confessional: Heather
"Well, gosh-diddily-ding-dong-darn it! Leshawna didn't listen to me! And now she's gone! Isn't it just the darndest thing?!"
End Confessional
Leshawna groaned.
"Be honest with us, Leshawna. Do you wish you had listened to Heather?" Blaineley asked.
"I… I dunno." Leshawna moaned. Acknowledging that Heather was right and she wrong about Alejandro would be very hard. "People have been making fun of my dancing ever since Total Drama Action. It was just… I really wanted to believe that there was someone who actually liked my dancing."
"I like your dancing!" Harold cried. Leshawna rolled her eyes.
"You mean someone other than Harold?" Josh asked.
"Yeah. Guess I shoulda known it was too good to be true. Especially since…" Leshawna trailed off.
"Since what?" Blaineley asked.
"Don't make me say it."
"What were you going to say?" Josh prodded.
"No…"
"What is it?" Blaineley asked in singsong. Leshawna sighed.
"I suck at dancing! Okay?!" she barked. The audience gasped. "With a fat ass like mine, everything I do looks like a big bag of meat sloshing around!"
Leshawna breathed heavily.
"Let's switch gears, shall we?" Blaineley suggested.
"Thank you…" Leshawna breathed.
"During your elimination, you seemed rather shocked that your team voted you off, in spite of your injury and you throwing the challenge. Am I correct?"
"Yeah! I mean, I've always gotten along with my team! I didn't think they'd actually keep Ezekiel over me!"
Josh and Blaineley looked at each other and smirked.
"What are you smiling about?!" Leshawna demanded.
"Well, Leshawna…" said Josh. "We just think it's a bit… ironic that you were surprised at your elimination considering Cody's elimination in Season One."
"What about it?"
"Watch!" Blaineley commanded, pointing to the monitor, where two confessionals played.
Confessional: Cody (In a wheelchair and body cast)
"Teehee! Okay, I know I got mauled by a bear, but I'm feeling good about this! I'm a quick healer! And besides, Heather's as mean as a snake, dude! Her own team shot her like eighteen times! They'll never kick me off!"
Confessional: Leshawna
"Who did I vote for? Well, Heather's been a pain in my butt from day one! But I gotta say… Cody."
End Confessional
"That's enough! I'm done!" the sassy black girl declared.
"But Leshawna-" Blaineley protested.
"I may be in wheelchair, but I can still do some damage!" she threatened, raising her fist menacingly.
"Um… we were just about to end it anyway!" said Josh, intimidated. "Right, Blaineley?"
"Uh, yeah! Totally!" Blaineley concurred, just as frightened. "Let's wrap this up with a recap of Leshawna's journey.
A clipshow played. It showed Leshawna arriving on Total Drama Island. It showed her tossing Heather off the cliff. It showed her chasing Izzy while brandishing an oar like a baseball bat. It showed her shooting Heather with a paintball gun. It showed fighting with Heather over her pineapple allergies. It showed her riding a moose. It showed her winning the torture challenge. It showed her comforting Gwen and rallying the other campers into voting off Heather. It showed her arguing with Duncan in the canoe. It showed her shocked reaction to her sudden elimination. It showed her reluctantly voting Gwen off in Total Drama Action. It showed her badmouthing her teammates behind their backs. It showed her trying hard to get Duncan and Harold into an alliance. It showed Heather giving Leshawna her wig upon getting eliminated. It showed her own elimination with her encouraging Harold to stand up to Duncan. It showed her being among the first group of contestants to exit the pyramid. It showed her showing her basket-weaving skills. And it ended with her attacking Eva and subsequently apologizing in fear.
The audience cheered as Leshawna wheeled over to the peanut gallery.
"Our next guest- or should I say guests- refused to do this interview without each other!" said Blaineley. "Being essentially one person controlling two bodies, these two are almost identical in personality, intelligence and skill. Their loyalty to each other is unrivaled by any friendship ever conceived on this show! Please welcome TV's favorite BFFs, and the two worst geographers in the world, Katie and Sadie!"
There was a combination of cheering and booing as Katie and Sadie walked onstage waving to the crowd. The two sat in between the hosts, pushing them to the edge of the couch.
"Katie! Sadie!" Blaineley greeted. "How's it going, girls?"
"Oh, it's been going great!" Katie answered.
"Yeah! A free trip around the world with my best female friend for life!" Sadie exclaimed.
"I just wish we didn't have to separate again." said Katie sadly.
"Yeah, Total Drama really isn't for us." Sadie concurred.
"Oh no?" Josh asked.
"Yeah. If there was a reality show where we could compete as a pair of contestants and go around the world, I think that would be better for us!"
"I agree." said Blaineley. "Was it as hard as last time to be separated from each other?"
"Not as hard as last time, but still pretty upsetting." Katie concurred. "When I was separated from Sadie the first time I cried all night. This time I got it down to three hours!"
"You said that in a confessional." Sadie pointed out.
"I did?"
"Yup."
"Oops. Sorry."
"It's alright, Katie." said Blaineley. "You have every reason to be proud of yourself. Especially since you outlasted seven people this time instead of four!"
"Yeah, you kicked butt, Katie!" said Sadie.
"I did, didn't I?"
"Do you regret allying yourselves with Heather?" Josh asked.
"Not exactly…" said Katie.
"It's more like we regret allying ourselves with Sierra." Sadie clarified. "She stabbed us both in the back!"
"Ah. Do you hold that against her?" Josh asked.
"Nah, she was nice enough about it!" said Sadie dismissively.
"And we were eliminated for good reasons." said Katie.
"You were?" Josh asked, him and Blaineley looking surprised.
"Yeah!" said Sadie. "I predicted good luck! And Sierra was right when she said that anytime anyone does that, they lose!"
"You lost the Amazon challenge because you left Sierra behind by mistake!" Blaineley pointed out.
"Yup. And we wouldn't have done it if it I hadn't jinxed us!" said Sadie, smiling contently.
"Your feelings aren't hurt?"
"Nope!" said Sadie.
"Okay… what about yours, Katie? Were you hurt when you were voted off?"
"A little." Katie admitted. "But I hit Courtney with a paddle. That caused our team to lose. So, yeah, I kinda deserved it."
"Yeah, you seemed really annoyed with Courtney that day." Josh pointed out.
"Oh my gosh! I was like so annoyed! Courtney just loves to bring up that she used to be a CIT! Back on Total Drama Island she said it ten times the first day! I was impressed at first, even though I didn't know what it meant, but it got old really fast. She kept saying it over and over and over and over again! She never shut up about it! It's like every time she says it, she forgets she said it, and says it again!" Katie vented.
"I don't think she said it so much this season." said Blaineley.
"No, but when she did, it just brought back memories of her flapping her gums about being a CIT. And I wasn't exactly over Sadie's elimination at that point. To top it off, she was super annoying to watch on Total Drama Action. So things just… came to a boil when she started barking at us. I'm not proud of it."
"We understand, Katie." said Blaineley. "How about we switch gears a bit? We noticed that you and Sadie's outfits are slightly different now."
"Oh yeah!" said Katie. "Yeah, we did that because the fans kept criticizing us for being too similar!"
"Yeah, we don't mind being associated with each other, but we do wanna make it clear that Katie and I are different people!" said Sadie.
"Well, the outfit is a start." said Blaineley.
"Why green, though?"
"It was inspired by Gwen's terrible environmentalist vlog!" said Katie.
"Let's switch gears." said Josh, clearly bored. "What do you girls think of Alejandro?"
"He's hot!" said Sadie.
"Totally hot!" Katie agreed. Bridgette and Leshawna leered at them, feeling betrayed.
"That he is…" Blaineley admitted. "But don't you think he's a despicable excuse of a man?"
"No…" said Katie.
"Why?" asked Sadie.
"He seduced Bridgette, Leshawna, and Izzy, ruining their relationships, and causing their eliminations!"
"So what? He's hot!" said Sadie.
"Hotter than Justin?" Josh asked.
"Totally!" said Katie. Sadie gasped.
"Katie, how can you say that?!" Sadie admonished.
"What? It's true!"
"No it isn't! Justin's way hotter!"
"Is not!"
"Is so!"
"NOT!"
"SO!"
Katie lunged at Sadie and tackled her off the couch. They began rolling on the floor, biting, scratching, and yelling.
"Catfight! Catfight! Catfight!" Josh chanted excitedly. Blaineley rolled her eyes. Geoff and Harold cheered and hooted. The audience laughed. After about thirty seconds, Blaineley had enough.
"Security!" she called. A pair of large interns came in and forcefully separated the two BFFFLs.
"I hate you!" Katie yelled.
"I hate you more!" Sadie yelled back.
"I'd hate you no matter what!"
"I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you!"
"I'd hate you even if you that made sense!"
"I'd hate you even if you were me!"
"Well, thank you for that, girls!" Josh thanked. "That was very entertaining!"
Katie and Sadie huffed and turned away from each other.
"Now let's see a recap of the two's journey!" Blaineley declared.
Another clipshow played. It showed Katie and Sadie arriving on Total Drama Island. It showed them fussing over being put on different teams and them begging Chris to put them on the same team. It showed Katie doing well in the dodgeball tournament. It showed them fighting while lost in the forest. It showed them reconciling. It showed Katie's dramatic elimination. It showed Sadie blindly beaning Courtney with crabapples. It showed their happy reunion upon Sadie's elimination (with the audio swapped for the viewer's convenience). It showed the two discussing elimination in Egypt. It then showed a montage of them forgetting what city/province/country they were in. It showed Sadie jinxing the team in the Amazon. It ended with Katie whacking Courtney with a paddle.
"We'll take a break for now, but don't touch that dial!" said Blaineley. "You don't wanna miss what's coming up on Total Drama: the Aftermath!"
After the commercial break, we cut back to the studio. Katie and Sadie were in the peanut gallery, hugging, and crying and apologizing profusely to each other.
"And we're back!" Blaineley announced. "I am super excited for this next interview, guys!"
"But before we get to it, it's time for That's Gonna Leave A Mark!" Josh announced. The audience cheered while Blaineley pouted.
Another clipshow played. It showed Eva pummeling Owen with a shovel with several slow-motion shots. It showed Duncan launching Cody off of the dance pad. It showed Eva thrashing the Zing-Zings. It showed Trent and Duncan wrestling the yowie, with the punk putting the ape in a full nelson. It showed Cody slapping Sierra. It showed Katie hitting Courtney with a paddle in slow-motion. It showed Snappy the Lobster pinching Izzy's nose. It showed Izzy and Eva crashing headfirst into the side of the pool in super-slow-motion, followed by Owen collapsing on top of Noah in the pool. It ended with a shot of Chris falling off the cliff.
The audience cheered and laughed. Blaineley looked relieved.
"Guys and their obsession with catfights and violence…" she muttered. "Well, that was fun, Josh. Now can we get back to the interviews?"
"Go ahead." said Josh.
"Thank you." Blaineley sighed. She put on a smile and turned to the audience. "Our next guest is arguably the most magical contestant we've ever had! Known for being a man of few words during the first season, as well as a man of few episodes, he became much more prominent and chatty in the second season. Getting on the show thanks to his good looks, he quickly became popular with all the girls on the show, as well as Owen. Please welcome the most beautiful human being in the world, Justin!"
The audience cheered, the women being louder than the men. Justin walked onstage, looking better than ever. There were no signs of serious injury. No casts, no bandages, no scars, not even a black eye. Blaineley took no notice of this as she instantly began swooning. Josh, on the other hand, noticed it immediately and had to fight to keep the confusion out of his expression.
"Hellooooooooooooo, Justin!" Blaineley greeted excitedly.
"Hey, Blaineley! Hey, Josh!" Justin greeted.
"We're so glad to have you here, Justin!" Blaineley swooned.
"Well, I'm glad to be here as well! Being on the show is way too hard on the bod, know what I mean?"
"Indeed!"
"Speaking of which, you're looking pretty good for a guy who fell off a cliff and landed on a rock!" Josh pointed out.
"Yeah! What gives?!" Leshawna called enviously from the peanut gallery. Justin shrugged.
"Honestly, I'm just as surprised as you are!" said Justin. "Last thing I remember while on the show was an excruciatingly painful impact. Next thing I know, I'm back here in one piece! It's like it never happened! It's quite the mystery. Sorry I can't help you solve it."
"That's fine, Justin!" said Blaineley. "In Total Drama Action, we started to see that you had a bit of sneaky side. One confessional you made implied that you were gonna be as ruthless as Heather that season. But somewhere along the line, you lost that edge. What happened?"
"It's pretty hard to concentrate on the game when you're constantly taking physical abuse. I mean, look at me! I'm one of the hottest people I know! With all the bruises and split ends I kept getting, it just became impossible to think of schemes or trickery! It's probably one of the reasons Courtney was brought in halfway through the season. Once I got eliminated, Gwen gave me a little lecture on karma, and I vowed not to repeat the same mistakes."
"Good idea! If karma punishes you by taking away your beauty, it's punishing everyone!" said Blaineley.
"I know, right?" Justin concurred.
"Let's move on." said Josh quickly. "In Season One, you didn't really talk much except for when you were introduced. Even after you were eliminated, you didn't talk. What was with that?"
"I think it's mostly the editing that made it seem like I never talked. Which is an exaggeration because I did talk. I had conversations with Owen, Trent, and Cody in the privacy of our cabin. The Gopher guys apparently had the least amount of drama going on, which is why they rarely showed what went on in our cabin. I also participated in cheering for my team members like when Gwen won the Awake-a-thon and when Owen burped the alphabet, and I sung 99 Bottles of Beer with them. But yeah, I was definitely the quietest guy on the island. It was sort of an… artistic strategy. Using only my body language should have been enough to keep people on my side. I think it looked worked a little too well, though. Heather must have thought that this made me a threat, which is probably why she targeted me on the night of the talent show."
"Hm. Perhaps." said Josh.
"Yes, that's another confusing elimination." Blaineley stated. "What say we get to the bottom of this one, Josh?"
"I say yay!" Josh agreed.
"Wonderful!" said Blaineley. She turned to the audience. "As we all know, Justin was eliminated because Heather convinced Lindsay, Beth, Izzy, and Owen to vote him out."
"But since there were five other teammates to witness Heather throwing the challenge just to be mean, most everyone would figure that the vote would result in a tie! That was clearly not the case since there was no tiebreaker." said Josh.
"Chris said it was close, so there must have been one teammate who voted for someone other than Justin or Heather! Was it Gwen, Trent, Leshawna, Cody, or Justin? Obviously, Gwen's out."
"And so is Leshawna. Judging from the fact that she was just angry as Gwen when Heather was spared."
"And we can certainly count out Trent, giving how he was in love with Gwen and that he showed Heather no sympathy when Gwen dumped a red ant farm in her bed following the stunt."
"So it was either Justin or Cody!" Josh surmised. "Justin, was it you?"
Not in the mood for a game of Truth or Hammer, Justin fessed up immediately.
"Yes, it was me!" he confessed. Josh and Blaineley looked slightly disappointed.
"Really? You didn't vote for Heather?" Blaineley asked.
"I would have if I knew she was targeting me, but I didn't. So, nope. I did not vote for Heather."
"Why not?" Josh asked. "She threw the challenge just to be cruel to Gwen!"
"I know, but I didn't really care about Gwen or losing the challenge."
"So who did you vote for?" Blaineley asked.
"Beth. She was the most… uh… homely member of our team."
"What does that mean?" Beth asked. No one answered her.
"Anyway, Justin." said Blaineley. "We wanna get your opinion on Alejandro. You seemed awfully suspicious of him at first. What's your take on this man?"
"Alejandro is… everything I was trying to be in Total Drama Action." said Justin.
"Ooh! How so?" said Blaineley.
"I was trying to be… whatever the male equivalent of a femme fatale is." said Justin. "I wanted to use my charm to sway everyone into what to do. However, eventually, the girls got used to my appearance and weren't easy to manipulate anymore. It's debatable whether or not Alejandro is better-looking than me, but even if he isn't, he has many things that I don't. Charisma, cunning, superior social skills, diligence, and toughness."
"You say that like you admire him." said Josh.
"In a way…" said Justin. "It has given me some clarity as to what I was becoming in Total Drama Action. I do hope he gets what's coming to him, though."
"So do we all." said Josh.
"One last thing, Justin." said Blaineley, a shy blush on her face. "Could you… take off your shirt for us?"
"Blaineley, that's an inappropriate thing to ask of me!" Justin scolded. "But sure!"
Justin stood up and ripped his shirt off as though it were made of paper. The spotlights shined onto Justin's perfectly-shaped body. The women in the audience burst into swoons, cheers, and screams of delight. Beth, Katie, and Sadie screamed as well. Bridgette and Leshawna smiled happily at him.
"Oh, marry me, Justin!" Blaineley swooned so hard she knocked the couch over, taking Josh with her.
"Whoa!" the male host cried. Blaineley struck her head and was knocked unconscious.
"Ha-ha-ha! Fat-ass!" Geoff laughed.
Josh picked himself up. "Well, since Blaineley seems to be temporarily out of service, let's play Justin's journey video!"
Justin's clipshow played (not that any straight woman was paying attention). It showed Justin arriving on Total Drama Island, instantly captivating all the female contestants and Owen. It showed sharks rushing towards to eat him, only to fall in love with him and carry him to shore. It showed him stylishly putting out a bush fire. It showed his act at the talent contest. It showed his elimination. It showed Heather using him to distract Gwen (and Owen by accident) in the finale. It showed him seducing Izzy and Eva into giving up the million-dollar suitcase. It showed the confessional of him vowing to be a ruthless player in Total Drama Action. It showed him and his team ganging up on Gwen. It showed him having a conversation with "his brain." It showed him rallying Duncan and Harold into an alliance. It showed him getting pushed off a balcony by Courtney and getting seriously mangled. It showed him in Egypt, preventing DJ from cursing himself. It showed him arguing with Harold over who should play the lead role in Team Victory's Japanese commercial. It showed him realizing the cause of Team Victory's bad luck. It ended with him jumping off the cliff in Jamaica and getting seriously mangled again.
"Thank you, Justin!" said Josh. "Now go put on a shirt and sit down in the peanut gallery!"
Justin walked offstage just as an intern came onstage with an icepack for Blaineley. The hostess thanked him and he left. She put the icepack on her head.
"Ooh… Kinda lost my cool back there, didn't I?" Blaineley commented.
"You were demonstrating enthusiasm!" said Josh. "It's part of your job!"
"True. Shall we introduce our final guest for today?"
"If you think you can handle it."
"It'll take more than a minor head injury to stop me from doing my job!" said Blaineley toughly. She turned to the audience. "Our final guest is the contestant who's been eliminated five different times! That's the current high score! Founder of the original E-Scope alliance and member of the second incarnation, she betrayed said alliance and became the first contestant voted off the seemingly unstoppable Team Minotaur! Please welcome everyone's favorite maniac, Izzy!"
The audience cheered as the crazy redhead back-flipped onstage, landing right in between Josh and Blaineley.
"Hellooooooooooo, ladies and germs!" Izzy called, a manic smile across her face.
"Hey, Izzy! What's up?" Josh greeted.
"The ceiling, duh!" Izzy answered.
"So, you're the first boot of Team Minotaur! How does that feel?" Blaineley asked.
"Very confusing. I have no idea how and when Noah figured out I was a double-agent!" said Izzy.
"I think we can clear that up, can't we, Blaineley?"
"I think we can, Josh!" Blaineley turned to the audience. "We have an exclusive clip from the last episode that shows how your allies found out. Let's take a look!"
Clip Begins
"Oh! It's all my fault! Forgive me, my friend!" Alejandro moaned remorsefully.
"It's okay, Al…" Owen sighed. "Not your fault, anyway… Izzy's way too unpredictable…"
Noah leered at Alejandro.
"You know, since Izzy's not here, I think there's something you should know, Noah."
"What?" said Noah, suspiciously.
"Izzy came to me and informed me that she was in an alliance with you, Owen, and Eva."
Owen and Noah gasped, looking severely alarmed. Eva didn't gasp, but her eyes did pop open in shock before descending into anger.
"Why that little-!"
"Easy there, She-Hulk!" Noah scolded. "Let me handle it!"
Clip Ends
"Oh…" Izzy muttered. "Alejandro was the little birdie! Well, that explains a lot! But whatever! Our luck was bound to run out eventually!"
"So, it doesn't hurt that you were the first one voted out?" said Josh.
"Nope! Not anymore!"
"Right then." said Blaineley. "How does it feel to be on the powerful Team Minotaur? Must have been pretty nice!"
"Yeah, we were the best team ever! That's mostly because we had Owen on our team."
"Owen, huh?" said Josh.
"Yup, the man can do wrong!" said Izzy. "He is the most perfect human being since Jesus Christ! He makes friends the same way Medusa makes statues: by looking people in the eye! That's how freaking amazing he is! It is literally impossible not to love him!"
"Literally impossible?" Josh repeated. "I don't think that's the case, Izzy."
"Yeah, well, you're wrong!" said Izzy.
"Don't be naïve, Izzy." said Blaineley. "A certain someone made a confessional this season that really contradicts that claim. In fact, it was so heinous, the editors left it out of the episode he made it in. Play it!"
Confessional: Alejandro (With a freshly blackened eye)
"Let me tell you all how much I hate Owen. It is estimated that there have been one-hundred-and-seven-billion human beings on this planet since time began. If every single one of those billions of people chanted the word 'hate' ten times a second, nonstop, for their entire lives, it would not even represent one one-trillionth of the hatred I feel for that human tick!"
End Confessional
The audience gasped and descended into a stunned silence.
"Man! Somebody needs to take a chill pill!" Josh commented.
"Does not compute." said Izzy robotically, a blank expression on her face.
"Sounds like you're having trouble processing this." Blaineley commented.
"Well… yeah!" said Izzy. "I mean, there is no way you could say a word ten times per second! And then to say it every second of your life, before you can even talk?!"
"That's not the point." said Josh.
"It's not? Then what is it?"
"The point is that not everyone has Owen as their favorite contestant!" said Blaineley. Izzy pouted, a grumpy expression on her face.
"Alejandro doesn't count! He's evil!" said Izzy. "Anyone who doesn't like Owen is evil!"
"Oh, grow up!" Leshawna scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"So if Owen's so perfect, then why did you dump him?" Blaineley asked.
"I was tricked into it! Alejandro filled my head with lies about Owen not caring about me! Like the time he threw me at the psycho killer with a chainsaw and hook!"
"Um, I think that sort of proves his point, Izzy." said Josh.
"Speaking of which, how did you end up forgiving him for that?" Blaineley asked.
"Well, initially I planned on never ever forgiving him in a million years! Then after I got eliminated again, I hit my head and forgot all about it!"
"Well, that was… convenient I guess!"
"Yeah! Anyway, the next time I see Owen again, we'll get back together and it'll be like it never happened! Owen will win the season again and we'll live happily ever after!"
"Uh, that's great, Izzy!" said Josh.
"Let's move on!" said Blaineley. "We wanna know what the deal is with all these personas of yours are!"
"Oh that's simple! I have Multiple Personality Disorder!"
"Multiple Personality Disorder?" Josh and Blaineley repeated.
"Yeah, that means there's like four people living in my brain beside me!" Izzy explained. "First there's Kaleidoscope, or E-Scope for short. She's a great leader! Then there's Explosivo. She's a freaking maniac who loves to blow shit up! Ha-ha! She's my favorite! Then there's Brainzilla! She's really smart! Like super-mega-ultra-smart! She can make teleporters, time machines, and donut makers that fit in your purse! But she hasn't come out since I shoved a highlighter up my nose! And then there's Isabelle. But she's just a boring normie."
Josh and Blaineley said nothing for a few seconds.
"Well, that's… interesting." said Josh.
"Josh, are you buying this?" asked Blaineley.
"I didn't say it was believable!"
"No! It's all totally true! Izzy never lies!" said Izzy.
"Oh, Izzy, you've spouted loads of BS along the way!" said Blaineley.
"Nuh-uh! Have not!"
"Yuh-huh! Have so!"
"Prove it!"
"With pleasure! Play the clips!"
A series of clips from Up The Creek played, each of Izzy telling Leshawna some crazy story, including being of Cherokee heritage, learning how to hunt koalas, blowing up a kitchen, and being hunted by the RCMP. This was followed by the scene of Izzy confirming that all but the last were false. Then, the clip of Izzy's return to Total Drama Island played, where she regaled the campers with tales of what happened after her elimination. This was followed by Eva's elimination where she shouted at the campers that Izzy was lying, only to be cut hastily cut off by Izzy. Finally, it ended with Izzy on Chris's talk show, claiming she used to date Justin, but broke up with him because he was a liar, followed by both her and Chris venting about how much they hate liars.
The clips ended and Izzy looked quite frustrated and bitter.
"So, Izzy, how does this not make you a complete hypocrite?" Blaineley asked. Izzy glared darkly at the hostess.
"A dog has raised its hind leg on the age of Nevermore, Blaineley!" she growled threateningly, pointing a finger warningly in Blaineley's face.
"Um… what's that supposed to mean?" Blaineley asked, confused and nervous.
"It means I'm going to do this!" Izzy jumped up and ran offstage. After a few seconds of confused silence, Josh spoke up.
"Alright, since Izzy's left, I guess that means her interview is over!" Josh announced. "Let's see her journey video!"
Izzy's journey video played. Like each one before her, it started with her arrival on Total Drama Island. It showed her switching teams with Katie. It showed her auditioning for the talent contest. It showed her pranking her team by dressing up as a bear. It showed her canoeing and bullshitting with Leshawna. It showed her giving the Killer Bass an idea on how to win the challenge. It showed her being chased off by the RCMP. It showed her getting the poison ivy spa treatment during the torture challenge. It showed her riding her homemade bike with a terrified Leshawna. It showed her and Owen making out in the woods. It showed her and Lindsay interfering in the final challenge of TDI. It showed her, Eva and Noah getting ambushed by Justin in the hunt for the million-dollar case. It showed Izzy becoming the second boot of Total Drama Action. It showed her sudden return. It showed her meeting Alejandro and swooning all over him. It showed Noah getting her, Eva, and Owen into an alliance. It showed her messing around in the giant grinder, followed by her being chased and restrained by Duncan. It showed Alejandro in the various stages of seducing her. It showed her exposing her alliance to the Spaniard. It showed her breaking up with Owen. It ended with her elimination and realization that she'd been tricked.
During the last few clips, the crazy redhead returned with a quadruple-decker wedding cake in her hands. She walked back to the couch where Josh and Blaineley sat.
"Happy Birthday, Blaineley!" Izzy cried, holding the cake over her head.
SPLAT!
Without warning, Izzy dumped cake onto Blaineley. Her hair, face, and dress were soaked with cake and frosting. Both the audience and peanut gallery burst into laughter.
"IZZY!" Blaineley screamed.
"Ho-ho-ho! Now, I can call you 'my lovely co-host!'" Josh snickered. Blaineley wiped the frosting out of her face.
"Noooooooooooooooo!" she wailed, as though her favorite Total Drama contestant had just gotten eliminated.
"Blaineley, calm down! It's just cake!" Josh implored.
"Just cake? Just cake?! I just gained ten pounds by touching it!" Blaineley shrieked. The audience and peanut gallery laughed again.
"How about you go backstage and get cleaned up? I'll wrap things up here."
"Fine!" Blaineley grumped, trudging offstage with as much dignity as she could salvage.
"We'll take another break, but stayed tuned for our final event! On the Total Drama World Tour Aftermath!"
After the commercial break, we cut back to the Aftermath set. Izzy was in the peanut gallery and Blaineley was back on the couch looking as good as new.
"Welcome back to the Total Drama Aftermath!" the hostess greeted. "It's time for our final event! What is it, you may ask? Well, before we tell you, let's ask the peanut gallery a question!"
"Alright, Beth!" said Josh turning towards the eliminated contestants. "Who is your least favorite competitor who is still in the game?"
"Heather." Beth responded.
"Okay…" said Josh, looking as though he was hoping for something else.
"What about you, Harold?" Blaineley asked.
"Alejandro!" Harold exclaimed. The hosts looked like they liked that answer.
"Good answer!" said Josh. "Bridgette?"
"I'm with Harold! It's Alejandro!" Bridgette growled.
"Nice, Nice… Geoff?"
"I hate Alexander Dead-Donkey!"
"Alejandro?"
"That's right!"
"Okay. Leshawna?"
"Ale-jackass!" the sassy black girl reported.
"Cool, cool… Katie and Sadie?"
"I dunno… Courtney?" Katie shrugged.
"Uh, no idea." Sadie shrugged.
"Justin?"
"Heather." said the model.
"Okay…" said Blaineley.
"And you, Izzy?" Josh asked.
"My vote goes to Satan Hitler!" Izzy growled. "AKA, Alejandro!"
"Well, there we go, Josh!" said Blaineley. "As expected, the least popular contestant among the losers is Alejandro!"
"Then I guess they're really going to enjoy our final activity!" said Josh. He held the remote and pressed the button. The stage floor opened up. Out rose a twenty-foot scarecrow bearing an unmistakable resemblance to Alejandro.
"It's time for the losers to show Alejandro what they think of him!" Blaineley announced. "Leshawna, since you've arguably suffered the worst at his hands, we'll let you go first!"
"Go first?" the sassy black girl inquired.
"Yes, you, Bridgette, and Izzy are all going to take turns destroying this effigy of Alejandro. And since you're currently handicapped, I've got something to help you." Blaineley reached behind the couch and pulled out a hunting rifle. The audience gasped. Josh looked shocked. Leshawna's eyes lit up in delight.
"Oh, hell yes!" Leshawna cheered. "Come to mama!"
Blaineley got up to deliver the rifle to Leshawna, but Josh swiped the gun out of her hand.
"Blaineley, are you out of your mind?!" Josh scolded. "A rifle?! You can't give the girl a rifle!"
"Why not?" Blaineley asked, annoyed.
"Yeah, why not?!" Leshawna whined, disappointed.
"Because she might miss the dummy!" Josh explained. "Here, Leshawna! Use this shotgun!" He reached behind the couch and pulled out a double-barreled shotgun.
"Ooh! Even better!" Leshawna exclaimed. Josh walked over to Leshawna and handed her the shotgun. He give her a quick lesson on how to use it while Blaineley got out of the way. "Stand back, fools!"
Leshawna raised the gun at the Alejandro dummy and pulled the trigger.
BANG!
A deafening boom resounded throughout the studio as the Alejandro dummy's chest blasted open. Ketchup splattered all over the stage and even went into the audience.
BANG!
Leshawna pulled the trigger again, further destroying the dummy's chest and splattering more fake blood all over the studio.
"Yeah, take that, mother(BLEEP)!" Leshawna cheered.
"Good job, Leshawna!" Blaineley congratulated. "Bridgette, it's your turn to show Alejandro what you think of him!"
"I… don't like guns!" said Bridgette hesitantly.
"That's okay! You can use this flamethrower!" said Josh. He pulled out a homemade flamethrower made out of a long metal pole, connected by a hose to a propane tank. The tank was attached to the pole via fastening bands. A lit pilot light could be seen at the nozzle. The trigger was made out of a gasoline pump handle.
"Come on, Bridgette! We all want to see you take out your frustration!" said Blaineley, fastening a gas mask over Bridgette's face.
"And I'm sure you need to vent."
"Well… okay! If it's safe…" Bridgette agreed.
"We got everything covered, sweetie!" said Blaineley.
"Okay!" Bridgette marched over to the dummy and pointed the flamethrower at its head.
FWOOOOOOOOSH!
With a pull of the trigger, a huge jet of flames was unleashed from Bridgette's flamethrower, enveloping the dummy's head in fire.
"Burn, you son of a bitch!" Bridgette yelled. The audience cheered. For eight seconds, Bridgette continuously shot flames at the Alejandro dummy, incinerating its head.
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!
Suddenly the fire alarm went off, followed by the sprinkler system. The entire studio was drenched in a shower of water. The audience and the peanut gallery cried out in anger at the indoor rainstorm. Josh and Blaineley, on the other hand, had taken out umbrellas, as though expecting this would happen. Bridgette kept torching the dummy, in spite of the water. After about twenty seconds, the flamethrower ran out of fuel. The sprinklers stayed on for ten more seconds, extinguishing the flames on the dummy. When they stopped, the head was completely blackened and devoid of hair.
"There, Bridgette! Wasn't that fun?" Blaineley asked.
"It was… intensely satisfying!" Bridgette admitted.
"That's great, Bridgette! Now, it's Izzy's turn!" said Josh.
"Ohboyohboyohboy!" Izzy chanted excitedly. "WhatdoIget?! WhatdoIget?!"
"You get a mild explosive to plant anywhere you want on the Alejandro dummy!" said Josh taking out a bundle of dynamite.
"Izzy likey!" the crazy redhead declared. The other contestants looked quite nervous as Josh casually handed the dynamite to Izzy, along with a can of explosive adhesive. "Teehee! Now I have two bombs!"
"Two?!" Josh cried, suddenly becoming nervous. Izzy ignored him and ran to the dummy. She sprayed the explosive on the dummy's crotch and slapped the dynamite on.
"Ha-ha! Right where the sun don't shine!" Izzy exclaimed, a deranged grin on her face. She then reached into her cleavage and pulled out a homemade pipe bomb. She planted it right next to the dynamite.
"Duck and cover!" Blaineley cried. She, Josh, and the peanut gallery scrambled offstage in a panic as Izzy grabbed the plunger and pushed down on it.
KABOOM!
An enormous explosion sounded, completely destroying the dummy and much of the stage. When everything had settled down, the contestants came back onstage to find Izzy dancing and stomping on the remains of the dummy as if there was no tomorrow. It didn't take long for them to join her.
Josh and Blaineley came back onstage.
"Well, that was fun, wasn't it, Josh?" Blaineley asked.
"Yes, indeed!" Josh agreed.
"Thank you, folks, for tuning into the Aftermath show!" Blaineley said to the audience. "We hope you all had as much fun as we did!"
"Be sure to tune in for the third quarter of the world's greatest reality competition on TV!" said Josh.
"Total!"
"Drama!"
"World Tour!" Josh and Blaineley finished together.
Rankings
15. Izzy
16. Justin
17. Katie
18. Ezekiel
19. Sadie
20. Leshawna
21. Geoff
22. Bridgette
23. Harold
24. Beth
Author's note: Holy crap, that took a while to write! Probably because I changed a few things in the last chapter to make it so there was no need for a telethon, so I had to change quite a bit. I did have the idea of delaying Jamaica's elimination ceremony to this episode so that we could have the telethon, but I had already uploaded the chapter by then, so it was too late.
For Leshawna's interview, I mainly focused on her relationship with Heather and her supposedly awful dancing skills. Now, I don't actually have an opinion on Leshawna's dancing skills (or dancing in general). It's just how the universe seems to treat her.
For Katie and Sadie, I felt it was a good time to explain Katie's frustration with Courtney and have them start a catfight over whether Justin or Alejandro was hotter, along with a mini-version of their plot in The Sucky Outdoors.
Justin, unlike Leshawna, seems to have completely healed from his injuries, despite them being more recent and severe. Now, what could be up with that?
Izzy is now acting like an Owen fanatic as a way to make up for falling for Alejandro's cruel scheme. Just to be clear, this isn't a knock against all of Owen's fans. It's a knock against the fanatics who are either too stupid to acknowledge that there are people who do not like him or so immature they feel the need to demonize his critics. I have come across such people. They do exist. And they are the reason I consider Owen to be the most overrated character in the series. If you're an Owen fan but can respect the opinions of those who think otherwise, then good! I can respect yours then.
Anyway, the next episode is the notorious I See London. Stay tuned, because things are definitely gonna happen!