I do not own any of the Betelgeuse characters but their personalities have been slightly tweaked to my liking along with their past before the movie. But all others are my creations. If I seem to be ripping off any other BJ authors' please let me know because I may have not read your story and came up with similar plot lines (it's a terrible ESP habit I have so IM me immediately!) Oh and I hate to do this after you graciously read that above part but if you have a weak stomach or are strictly looking for a good humored cartoon based Beetlejuice story with Lydia, filled with puns, pranks and morals please hit the return button on your tool bar because this story is for a darker audience and more strictly off the movie then the cartoon. Alright I'm done, on to the story!

The night was young; drunken souls wandered the streets of Mortsdale singing meaningless lyrics, bursting into fights randomly as they digested more and more liquor. Beautiful woman waited for someone to take them home for a good time. The town that was more a smear on the Afterlife's map was partying 'till there was no tomorrow, just like it always had been. That didn't impress one soul. He glared at the drunks with disgust; he ignored winks and flashes from the prostitute women, the partying town he had missed for so long (had it been two centuries?) didn't interest him the slightest. All that was on his mind was one thing: a raven-haired girl who had pulled one over the Ghost with the Most.

Nether less, he phased through the bar door stepping over a couple of passed out drunks and pushing a ghoul off a stool, taking his place.

"What will it be, tonight Mr. BJ?" the bar-tender said drying off a beer mug.

"Give me the strongest gin you got." he returned gloomily throwing the bar-tender a skull coin.

"Haven't seen you in a couple of centuries, are you still…" the bar-tender cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Cursed."

"Gee, ya think?" Betelgeuse snarled sarcastically, "Oh pardon me, I'm insulting a guy who was shot in the head with a .40 mil!"

"It was a bastard like you who did it." the bar-tender smirked sliding Betelgeuse his drink, "I should have known better to joke around a couple of scum bags, one minute I'm serving a couple of martinis then I'm lying on the floor with my head half blown off because I had called one of my customers a redneck."

"You told him the good ole: How do you circumcise a red neck/ hit his sister in the jaw joke."

The bar-tender laughed and nodded, "I hate to say it was worth it but that man was the biggest hillbilly I had ever seen. He was so dumb he could have failed a blood test!"

Betelgeuse rolled his eyes and drained his glass, "Don't quit your day job, Marty."

Marty turned around to serve another ghost who had seated himself beside Betelgeuse. "What will it be today, Harry?" he began conversationally.

"Give me a Reaper." the ghost returned flipping him a bat coin. The ghoul turned to Betelgeuse with sudden curiosity shining in his dead eyes. "Do I know you?"

"Maybe I slept with your girlfriend." Betelgeuse jeered turning to watch a pair of drunks throw their heads at each other like a deranged game of dodge ball.

"No…I recognize you…Betelgeuse?" the ghost questioned and Betelgeuse sighed wearily.

"Look buddy, if you were one of those newly deads who had hired me, or worked with me back at the Agency I have you know I paid for it…Now amscray! It's been a long, hell of a week…"

"No! It's me Harry Grissom! We went to that haunting seminar back in '71 and got drunk…"

"…with those Asian ghosts who died in a modeling accident! Holy Shit! I didn't fucking recognize ya!" Betelgeuse laughed sapping him on the back, Harry returning with punch in the arm. "Should' a known it was you; you're the only person who pronounces my name right in the first place."

"So where have you been all these decades? I did hear stories that Juno got you banished, but I never believed it." Harry queried drinking from a musty beer bottle.

"The stories are true, that fucking son of a bitch cursed me with my name…" he clenched breaking his glass with his grip.

"Oh sorry, B-man." Harry apologized sympathetically, "Had no idea."

"You're not the thing that's got my balls in a squeeze; I just got humiliated by another bitch named Lydia Deetz. You wanna hear the worst thing? She's a fucking breather." Betelgeuse clenched looking for something else to destroy, settling with a punch in a spectators face. "If I catch one of you drunken asses listening in on my conversation, I'll make the Exorcist look like a sitcom!" he blasted and the drunks scattering like cockroaches.

Harry shook his head with repulsion, ordering a Reaper for Betelgeuse with out a word to Marty. "I don't know about you but if someone pulled one over me, I'd teach them a lesson they'd never forget."

"One simple sentence: Banished to Land of the Dead. A Mortal has to call me in order for me to appear…so all attacks on the wench are buried in my grave along with myself."

Something gleamed in Harry's eyes. It wasn't a reflection of a near by candle's flame nor the three moons that shone like stars in the sky. It was like a hidden power similar to Betelgeuse's but that couldn't be true? Betelgeuse was the only ghost with that much power, Harry looked to ordinary to have such magic; he hardly looked dead at all.

"How about I do the biding for you? Give her a little scare so she'll think twice about messing with us." Harry offered lowly with a sudden chill in his voice.

Betelgeuse didn't see the problem in that, Harry was a pretty scary poltergeist like himself perhaps a little better. Though he couldn't stop thinking about that gleam he had seen in his eyes…maybe he should think about it first…

"Uh, well I…"

"Come on, Betel. I'll spook her, mess with her head a bit. No problem! Just tell me where and a brief description of the girl and bingo bango! Vengeance is delivered." Harry smirked evilly, "Unless, you've grown soft…"

"What! ME? Be my guest! Tell that bitch I sent you to straighten out the bargain we had made! And don't go easy on her." Betelgeuse said quickly with a fierce stare. No way was Lydia going to get away with ruining his one chance to break his curse…