Pippie's Prologue

The school counselor peered down over the top of her glasses at the three of them. She glanced at the computer screen for a second before looking at the two parents sitting across from her.

"We do enjoy having your daughter, Dusti, at this school. She's a great student, gets along well with the other kids and the teachers."

"But?" Bam asked

"It is concerning us over her sudden personality changes. The fighting, yelling at teachers, sudden outbursts in class…"

Seven year old Dusti Margera-Franks sat with her head hanging shamefully as the counselor talked about her to Bam and Jimmy.

"Dusti." Jimmy stated, looking at her

"What?"

"Dusti." Bam said, firmer, causing her to look up

"You never told us about this stuff. Why are we finding out about it now?" Asked Jimmy

She shrugged "I forgot."

"Dusti you didn't forget. You should have told us about this."

"Sorry…"

Jimmy looked at the counselor "What have these fights been about? Do you know?"

"Well… from what I do know, the fights have mainly been about the two of you."

"What do you mean?"

"Some of the other kids have been picking on her for having two fathers. The most recent fight was over the fact that Dusti claims that," She paused and cleared her throat before motioning to Jimmy "You gave birth to her as well as her younger brothers."

Bam and Jimmy shifted in their seats. Bam looked her directly in the eyes.

"You act like there's something wrong with that, Mrs." He glanced at her name plate on her desk and looked back at her "Kearns."

"Well Mr. Margera-Franks, that's just absurd. Clearly she must be making it up to compensate for some sort of home troubles."

Jimmy arched an eyebrow and sat up straight.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sir, fighting like this, and that story that your daughter made up usually indicates something happening at home. Most likely with the parents."

"Our daughter is not making that up. And we assure you that what goes on at our home has nothing to do with how she acts in school." Bam said

"Mr. Margera-Franks you can't tell me that you're going along with Dusti's bizarre claims."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Kearns, but would you care to see my c-section scars? How about my medical records?" Jimmy asked with a scowl

She stared at him half in disbelief for a moment.

"Uh, no thank you. That won't be necessary."

"Then next time you shouldn't assume that our daughter is making something up because of her horrible home life, which she doesn't have in the slightest." Bam said, his anger rising

"I'm terribly sorry; I stand corrected."

Jimmy stood up and placed a hand on Dusti's shoulder, having her stand as well.

"If you're going to blame a child's parents or home life, every time that child tries to stand up for themselves, then you're not doing a very good job as counselor."

Bam stood by Jimmy "Our family has always been a very loving one. We all look out for each other, through the good things and the very worst things. Sure we tend to swear, we argue, we have our dramatic moments, but what family doesn't? We don't encourage fighting when it comes to our kids, but we try our best to teach them the right way to stand up for themselves. If Dusti has been getting into fights, then that has nothing to do with us or how we've raised her."

"But than you for your concern. Now go find some other kids' parents to blame for their problems." Jimmy added right before the three of them exited the office.

Growing up has always had moments like that. People never understood my family's "situation". The "situation" being, I and my little brothers Jack and Jordan have two male parents. Two male, famous parents. Not only that, but there are people who still can't fathom that my brothers and I were not adopted or conceived through a surrogate. Let that sink in a little bit. Exactly. Our father, Jimmy, physically had us. Still not getting it? He is the only man around, which we know of, who has the ability to bear children like a woman. Yeah you've got it.

What may be considered to be "absurd" "sick" "unheard of" "unholy" and many other words we've heard over the years is just perfectly normal to me and my family. I grew to understand that very few couples in out family and amongst our closest friends are "standard" straight couples. Well, make that couples who are one man and one woman. Can't exactly call my Aunt Jade and Uncle Novak a "straight" couple since Uncle Novak was once in a relationship with my father, Bam. Amongst my closest friends, Andy Dunn-Raab, and Aila and Hanna Valo Vuori have two fathers. Andy, unlike me and my brothers, was conceived through a surrogate. Aila and Hanna, who are sisters, were conceived through two separate one-night stands around the same time. And though none of us have witnessed it, Andy says his fathers are also nudists. My cousin Corey, though he never came out to anyone, we're pretty sure is gay. Or at least bi-curious. And yet all of this is very normal to me and the rest of my family. However not everyone outside of our family is so understanding nor do they accept it very easily.

Just to catch you all up, I am Dusti Michelle Margera-Franks and I am 15 years old. But just Dusti will suit me fine. My fathers are Bam and Jimmy Margera-Franks (otherwise known as Bam Margera and Jimmy Pop. Yes the very same). I, as previously stated, have two younger brothers; Jack Gavin and Jordan Daniel, who are 12 year old twins (and two of the biggest pains in my ass). My uncle is Jess Margera and my cousin, his daughter, is Ava Elizabeth Margera. My aunt Kelly died when I was a baby. Ava is five years older than I am by the way. We hardly see or hear from them any more. And then there is my Aunt Jade and her husband Branden… well everyone calls him by their last name; Novak. They have five sons and one daughter. Their oldest son, Josh, is actually biologically Brandon "Dico" DiCamillo's son. Then there are the triplets; Cole, Chris and Corey. They are about a year older than me. Cole is an awesome skateboarder and is about to go pro. Corey… well he had problems. Drug problems. I learned about Corey shooting up through Chris. Where was I? Oh yeah. Next in line is Jeremey. He is just a couple months older than me. And then there's Jacinta. She's 14 years old and the perfect blend between her parents. Phew. And that was just the Novak side of our family. Going back to my friends, whom might as well be family.

Andy Dunn-Raab is also 15. In case you couldn't tell by his last name, his parents are Ryan Dunn-Raab and Chris "Raab Himself" Dunn-Raab. People think his family is weird because he wears clothes all the time while his gay parents are nudists and have a pet monkey named Diablo Innocente a.k.a. Diablo. Yeah… gay nudist parents with a pet monkey. And he's completely unfazed by it. He just shrugs and goes "Could be weirder". Then there's my Finnish friends Aila and Hanna Valo Vuori. They're also 15 years old, and are half sisters… sort of. Aila is the daughter of Ville Valo, formerly of HIM and Amy DiCamillo and Hanna is the daughter of Jussi69 of the 69 Eyes. Aila and my cousin Josh are technically cousins since her mother is the sister of Josh's biological father. Yeah…

That's the majority of my family. We're a real-life soap opera. There's the almost non-stop drama that began before I was born, everyone sleeping with everyone else, people getting pregnant and losing babies, people dying and coming back to life… We're one big crazy ass fucked up family. And I wouldn't want to change it for anything.