Author's Note: Okay… I'm doing this in an office so forgive me for any senseless writing… i.e. continuous drabbles. You should know how insanely bored I am and that I have no choice but to write, write, and uhm…write. So…Nikki, dude, I'm sorry if this is very pointless…hopefully you don't let Kathlyn read my fics…or any other person, for that fact… you know how very …confidential…your reviews should be… Sadly, they are currently posted in the net where people from around the world are free to read it…
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of this fic.
So here I am
Looking pretty for you
They come and go
So many faces
It's no use
So I'm dancing alone
Dreaming solo
Cause your love's the one worth waiting for
It's just like heaven
-Ashlee Simpson, Dancing Alone
It was time…it was the Yule Ball. I felt uneasy as I stepped into the room, carefully walking down the stairs, avoiding all the whispers and stares that came my way. I looked around for any sign of him, although I hoped that he had not noticed that I was doing so.
He caught my eye as his date, Cho Chang, hooked her arm around his. I heard they have been close since their first year here in Hogwarts, although I was surprised to see them together here.
I was startled to see my date, Victor Krum, offer his arm for me. I took it, as a sign of respect. He was, after all, my date.
"Hello, Viktor," I greeted him with a smile.
"You look beautiful…" I heard him say, along with some other compliments…although I didn't really hear them. I heard him say my name, but I wasn't sure if he was since he had said it wrong, yet again. I was having second thoughts of being with him tonight… eyeing Cedric and Cho suspiciously from the corner of my eye. I felt a tinge of jealousy as Cedric whispered something in Cho's ear… How I longed for that feeling again…that incredible feeling when our lips met… the jolt of electricity from my head down to my toes… somehow, being around him already made me feel that way… but it just wasn't enough…
I snapped out of my trance when the music began and Viktor pulled me to the dance floor.
I forced a smile as I was being turned and lifted. Viktor was a graceful dancer… it seemed to me that he had a lot of experience. Although I could feel his arms around my waist as he lifted me and twirled me, I felt like I wasn't really there…like my mind was somewhere else…where my heart was…
I had a funny feeling in my elbow, where Cedric had brushed his arm…touching my skin slightly. I believe he felt it too… he seemed off for a while. He accidentally stepped on my foot, and I heard him whisper and apology, just as I whispered an apology back.
I was doing pretty well for someone who was physically inept. Maybe it was because of the false hope of making contact again… or maybe because I had waited for this night to finally fix things… and I wasn't going to let anything ruin this night… dancing was not a liability.
It didn't matter at the moment, because I was doing just fine. Forcing a wider smile into my lips, and feeling the lipstick stretch my lips as my lips felt dry when we made contact just a few seconds before, I danced on.
The dance finally ended and I excused myself.
I exited the room, and I felt cold eyes on me. I didn't know if it was from Viktor, checking if was okay; or Ron, who has been glaring at me for quite a while now; or Cedric... I didn't even want to think about why he was looking at me… and I dared not look to see who it was.
I pushed open the doors to the girls' room, my heels clicking loudly in the bathroom tiles.
I held the sink for support as I inched closer to the mirror, checking for any smudged makeup or any loose hair strands. I wiped away excess mascara with my pinky and washed my hands.
Cho Chang entered the room, beaming.
I grit my teeth to stop myself from making any remarks.
She checked herself in the mirror then looked at me, a smile still playing in her lips.
"Cedric is such a sweet boy, isn't he?" she asked me, as if mocking me.
"Yes, he sounds like he is…" I replied monotonously.
"And a gentleman, too…" she giggled.
"Hm…" I nodded, smiling back. I hoped I didn't sound as uninterested as I really was.
"I better get back inside…Cedric is waiting…" she grabbed her purse and exited the room.
My grip on the sink tightened and I felt tears beginning to sting my eyes… I checked myself for the last time, and walked back to the Grand Hall.
000
Viktor was waiting with a glass of punch… We ate… We danced… We sang along… We chatted… and soon, the night was beginning to end.
Viktor and I said our goodbyes then I sat with Ron and Harry…hoping to hear good news from them… I was going to ask about Cedric and Cho, but our conversation ended in bickering and tears…
I was left at the footsteps of the entrance to the grand hall, tears streaming down my cheeks. My hair was a mess, and my makeup was smudged.
"Why the frown Hermione…a beautiful ad charming lady such as you should always be wearing her pretty smile…" I recognized the smoothness of the voice. I knew it all too well… I knew the line just as well… I had heard it a few weeks ago, when we had first talked…
"What are you doing here? Isn't Cho waiting for you?" I asked angrily.
"Haha!" he laughed… I could not believe that he had the courage to laugh at a time like this… "Are you…jealous?" he asked playfully.
"No…I'm just…" tears began to well up my eyes. I didn't know why but something about this was wrong… I knew it was wrong… but I wanted it. Badly. "Why am I telling you this? I-I should g-go…" Here I was again…walking away…
"Hermione…wait. Please. We need to fix this…" I felt my heart leap when he said this… he was right…we needed to fix this.
I turned around to face him, I felt my legs move involuntarily. I took out my shoes, walking barefoot on the grass…following him into a bench. It felt like déjà vu. The same place…the same bench… I shook my head, stopping in my tracks… I refused to fall in love with him all over again…
"Look, Cedric… I-I know t-that something happened… a-and I liked what happened…b-but… we can't let this change anything… we j-just can't…"
The tears fell again. I looked away, not wanting him to see me like this.
He lifted his hand to my cheek and wiped away the tears. I saw his finger blacken when he wiped away my tears, along with the smudged mascara.
"Shhh…" he whispered, pulling me closer again.
I was trying to stop, but I've wanted this to happen again…that I could not.
Our lips met again, for a second…more passionate kiss….
I wanted to pull back… but I couldn't…wouldn't. It's not supposed to happen like this… we were supposed to be fixing things…not making everything worse.
With every breath, memories flashed in my mind… Harry… Ron… Cho… Viktor… Cedric… I was letting all these people down. Ron had been upset about me being with Viktor… what more if I were with Cedric…and what was to happen to Cho?
I pulled away, but not too far away. Our foreheads were close together… I began to cry again.
"Cedric… please…" I pleaded… although I didn't really know what it was I was pleading for… I didn't know if I wanted him to stop, or continue…
"P-People will be affected… I-I don't want to hurt them… What about Harry…and Ron? O-Or…" it pained me to say her name. "Cho…"
He looked up at the sound of her name.
"Why did you ask her to the Yule Ball? Why her? I-If you and I were…" I asked, my voice slowly fading away into quiet sobs. He seemed surprised at my question…
"What Cho and I have is different from what we have…" he seemed unsure of his answer. "She's like a sister to me… my best friend.."
"But it's not the way she sees you… to her, it's more than that…" he looked surprised by my reply. "Don't tell me you don't know what she feels about you…"
He looked down.
I nodded. "See… these people…" I bit my lip as my voice quivered. "This is why we can't…" I swallowed hard, breathing in as much air as possible… holding the tears that were threatening to fall again.
"I understand…" he lifted my chin then kissed me softly on the lips. Something about it told me that it was the last one I would ever get from him… "I'm sorry… I love you…"
His words were barely a whisper, but they startled me a bit.
"…but if that means letting you go…then I will…"
I smiled weakly. "Goodnight." I kissed him on the cheek for a short second.
I walked away, leaving him there for the third time. I lifted my hand to my mouth, covering suppressed sobs. Tears fell again. I pulled up my periwinkle blue gown, feeling the dew of the grass on my feet.
I mouthed a silent "I love you" as I walked away.
Something about walking away made me feel like I was leaving a part of my life behind… like something about me will be lost and never be found again… For once, walking away didn't feel right… and that scared her.
Author's Note: Okay…it's finally finished… heehee! I'm really starting to like this fic… I'm off to make another drabble…