Chapter Eleven

By Pippie

(Aila's POV)

I lifted my shirt and sighed as I looked at my new tattoo. I was already regretting it and I had just got it the night before. I had planned on getting a tattoo when I was older but the last thing I wanted was a tattoo that my father has. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad's tattoos. Just not on me. Not only was I regretting it because my dad has it on his body, but I plan on having kids one day. When I become pregnant this tattoo will get all stretched out and really ugly looking. It just wouldn't be worth it to me. Another thing that caused me to regret it was the fact that I highly doubt that Mark even sterilized or changed the needles when he tattooed us. Alcohol and tattoo equipment do not mix. As soon as I am able to I am getting this tattoo removed. I might even let my lip piercing close up as well. That's only because I think I would get sick of it after a while.

Dusti came into the room and I put my shirt down. She sat on her bed and looked at me with a slight frown. (It wasn't a frown because she was upset or disappointed or anything. Her lips just end to curve down like Bam's lips do.)

"How's the tat?"

"Sore." I grumbled

I walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. As I hung my head down low I began to explain to her about all my regrets from the night before. I'm much smarter and usually much more responsible than my actions from last night would show, and Dusti knows this about me. She knows that I normally don't enjoy drinking and that I normally will speak up when I feel something is wrong. She also knows that there are times when I'm around Cole and I just allow him to make the decisions for both of us. I hate that I get that way around him but I never been in a real serious relationship like this before and I don't want Cole to wind up breaking my heart. I know it sounds foolish but I can't help it. I looked up at Dusti with tears nearly in my eyes.

"Dusti can I tell you something personal?"

"Of course you can. You're my best friend."

I looked down and took a breath "I'm not a virgin anymore. I haven't been for a while now."

"Are you serious?" Her eyes widened.

I nodded my head "The truth is… I didn't really want to have sex the first time me and Cole did it. I wasn't truly ready for it. I still don't think I'm ready for it even though we've slept together a few times."

"Why did you do it then if you knew you weren't ready for it?"

"Because I'm a fucking idiot." I sniffed as tears began to fall "I did it only to please Cole. At the time I thought that if he knew I wasn't ready for sex he would break up with me and go find someone who was."

"Ai you should know he isn't like that. He would have understood if you told him."

"I know… but at the time I… I was scared." I wiped tears away and looked at her in the eyes "Please don't say anything to Cole about this."

She placed a hand on my leg "I promise I won't tell. Only if you promise to talk to him."

"I'll talk to him. I just don't know when I'll do it."

She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. Right then I was worried about so many things. What if the needle from the tattoo gave me a disease? What if I got something from having unprotected sex with Cole? And worse of all, what if Cole got me pregnant? And then I began to think further about the last worry. If I did get pregnant what would I do? How would Cole react? How would out parents react? If I chose to keep the baby would I have Cole involved in raising it? Would he even want to be involved? How and where would we take care of the baby? Too many worries went through my mind, and they were giving me a headache. I just hope that I am only worrying over nothing.

(Hanna's POV)

Aila and I talked on the phone for hours. She told me everything that happened there and had me promise her that I would not say a single word about it to our dads. I felt so bad for her as she was telling me everything. She sounded so sad and scared as she spoke. I wished that I could have given her a hug but that hug was going to have to wait until she got home. After hearing everything that had happened; Cole and Andy's fight, Corey trying to kill himself, the wild night Aila, the Novak triplets and Mark Von D had together, and everything that Aila was worrying about, I didn't know what to do.

I suddenly felt so stressed out. I began to rub the side of my nose, feeling like I needed a fix. I tried talking myself out of it but it was so hard. Right away I began searching my room for my stash of coke. I had a small stash for a while, not really thinking that I would actually do it, but I kept it for "just in case".

I found my stash and tray and quickly made two lines. The next thing I knew I had snorted one line and I was about to snort the second. That's when Papa walked into the room. He irately grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me up onto my feet. That's when he began yelling at me. I could tell he wanted to hit me a couple times but he used a lot of restraint in holding his hands down. Dad, hearing Papa shout at me, came into the room. He didn't have to ask what was going on because he saw my coke tray and baggy right away. His eyes grew large and he began screaming right along with Papa. With both of them screaming furiously at me, I didn't know what to do. The only thing that I could do right then was burst into tears.

It is now two days later. No reason for me to discuss what happened in those two days since they were spent mostly in silence between me and my parents. My parents spoke but not a whole lot to me. Mainly they spoke about me. But that was two days ago, and I'm done talking about that part. Dad had gone to pick Aila up from the airport. I sat on the front porch waiting for them to return while Papa watched me from inside the house. He had to make sure that I wasn't going to take off somewhere since I wasn't allowed to leave the front yard like some toddler. Let me just tell you this much: my dads aren't mad at me any more; they're just disappointed. And that hurts a lot; especially since they're hardly speaking to me.

I sat there with my head in my hands and a pout on my face. My eyes were turned down to the cement sidewalk in front of me and they were beginning to burn. I knew that as soon as I saw Aila I was going to cry. I was so fucking ashamed of myself, not only for doing coke again but for finally getting caught for it. Dad pulled up and parked the car. I looked up when Aila got out and began to walk toward me. I stood up and tears began to roll down my face.

"Aila…" I choked on my own tears

"What's the matter?" She asked a little startled as she hugged me

I sniffed and clung tightly to her "Aila I'm in so much trouble…"

She patted my back and pulled away. She wiped my tears away and took me by the hand.

"Come on. We'll talk about it in my room."

I felt so grateful right then that I have a sister like her whom I'm so close with. I knew that she would be on my side and help me through this.