Simple Together
Logan sat on his bed, looking blankly out the window. It was too quiet around here, and he had too much time to think. Chase and Michael were out hanging out with the girls in the Lounge. They'd asked him, but he hadn't been interested, said he'd stay in here. Alone.
A c.d lay on the top of a few books by the stereo. Not one of his, he'd have recognised it straight away. An Alanis Morissette c.d, hardly Michaels and not Chases. And the he remembered. Dana. She worshipped the music. He remembered comparing the angry-girl music to the angry girl Dana. This was some Best of c.d, she left it here accidentally. The day she'd come over when it was just the two of them. The day he'd realised how completely and madly in love he'd fallen with Dana. The day she told him she was leaving PCA for some French school. The day his heart had broken, for the first time.
He put on the cd, skipped a few tracks, and then let it play.
"you've been my golden best friend
now with post-demise at hand
I can't go to you for consolation
cause we're off limits during this transition"
Logan missed Dana like mad. She was all he thought about, in class, when he was hanging out with Chase and Michael, when he was half-heartedly flirting with other girls. Dana had taken a part of him to France with her, the part that made him his old self, and he couldn't do without it. He needed her, back here, with him in PCA.
"this grief overwhelms me
it burns in my stomach
and i can't stop bumping into things"
He thought of how they'd said goodbye, she'd hugged him close to her and said she'd miss him, for all his Logan ways. He had wanted to tell her then, that he was in love with her, but the words wouldn't come out, no matter how hard he tried.
"i thought we'd be simple together
i thought we'd be happy together
thought we'd be limitless together
i thought we'd be precious together
but i was sadly mistaken"
Logan sat back on the bed and pushed his hair away from his face, willing Dana to walk through the door and sit beside him. The day at the beach, when they'd got lost away from the PCA party, they'd talked. For ages, the to of them. They'd walked along that beach, talked properly for the first time since they'd got to Pca. He'd learned a lot about her that day. That she wasn't this sarcastic angst filled teenager and tahts it. She was so much more than that. He;d seen how beautiful she was in the most unsuperficial way and he loved that about her. A few days before she had to leave. Too little to late.
"you've been my soulmate and then some
i remembered you the moment i met you
with you i knew god's face was handsome
with you i saw fun and expansion
this loss is numbing me
it pierces my chest
and i can't stop dropping everything"
Tears started to pour down his cheeks, finally admitting to himself that she was gone, and without her, he was nothing. He needed Dana Cruz to be Logan, and without her, he was just this shadow of a guy who seemed to have everything he ever wanted. He did, except for the girl he loved, and his heart was breaking and nobody knew. He was Logan, he wasn't meant to have feelings, and he was this limitless robot who ran on flirting pointlessly and being a kind of an asshole. That's what Dana told him. She was mad at him one day, came out with that, He couldn't believe how true it was, he did seem like that. Without her, that was what he was.
i thought we'd be sexy together
thought we'd be evolving together
i thought we'd have children together
i thought we'd be family together
but i was sadly mistaken
He wiped away tears as the song played on, thinking all the while of her. The dance where they'd been partnered and he hadn't really cared, and wished he had now. The first day he'd met her, and when she'd whipped his ass at basketball. He'd loved her even then, and didn't realise it until now.
if i had a bill for all the philosophies i shared
if i had a penny for all the possibilities i presented
if i had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air
my wealth would render this no less severe
They'd kept in contact, a little. An email here and there. She loved it there, and he was keeping up this illusion of being the old Logan, everything was perfect, when to everyone else it so clearly wasn't. Even Quinn had realised it, and she was normally so captivated in her scientific crap she wouldn't notice much to do with him.
i thought we'd be genius together
i thought we'd be healing together
i thought we'd be growing together
thought we'd be adventurous togheter
but i was sadly mistaken
thought we'd be exploring together
thought we'd be inspired together
i thought we'd be flying together
thought we'd be on fire together
but i was sadly mistaken
Logan needed Dana Cruz more than he'd ever needed anyone in the world. She was his air, his life and now she was gone, he was slowly dying. He thought they'd be simple together, perfect together, but he was sadly mistaken.