Hunter ran into his afternoon class with Mrs. Strickland a little late, but his hurried explanation made her smile. "I heard about the Flyer Derby game, I hope your friend heals well."

When he got to his locker, Skara gave him a playful punch on the arm.

"Hey," he laughed, "what's that for?"

"You let me meet my idol when I was a grassy, sweaty, very very very frizzy mess!" Skara said, trying to keep the huge grin off of her face and failing.

"Well, you did meet them, didn't you? That's what I promised," Hunter crossed his arms.

"Yeah, I just hope they don't think I'm weird."

"They don't, Raine thinks you're cool," Hunter reassured.

"Really? The Raine Whispers thinks I'm cool?!" Skara sighed. "If this is a dream, don't wake me up. Oh, you've got something in your hair," she reached over and plucked a piece of confetti that had caught her eye.

Hunter sighed. "Luz's Gromposal at lunch today got everywhere."

"Did Amity- why am I even asking? I know she said yes, they're literally so in love."

"I don't even know why she was worried."

"Imagine worrying about Grom dates," Skara said, flashing the aro pin on her backpack. "Couldn't be me."

Hunter laughed. "Yeah, lucky you. It's torture."

"Ohhhh, you're asking someone out? Who is it, can I guess?"

"I- no, forget that I said anything. If I don't do it then you guys will just be disappointed."

Hunter stepped out of the shower and toweled off his hair first. Then he got into his pajamas- a Hexside sweatshirt of Darius's and some human sweatpants from a trip to the Human Realm to thrift. They were ugly, yellow and red plaid, and Darius complained that they made his eyes burn so of course, Hunter wore them all the time now.

He reached over to wipe the fog off the mirror and stared into a pair of brown eyes.

It takes him a few seconds to fully process that the face he sees in the mirror, the man he sees standing there is not him (but it is).

Hunter leapt back, and so did the man, and they gawked at one another. Hunter yanked the door open and sprinted down the stairs. "Darius!"

The man glanced away from the soup he was making and at the disheveled teen whose hair was damp and standing up in the back of his head. "Yes?"

"Am I still me?"

"I don't know who else you would be," Darius shrugged, turning back to the stove. He heard Hunter's loud footsteps back up the stairs.

When he returned to the bathroom, he was himself in the mirror again. It was him. The fog was gone. His reflection mirrored his actions perfectly.

"Here it is," Professor Bug dropped the stack of papers on his desk. "The interview I conducted with the previous Golden Guard. I translated it to the common Boiling Isles language, I realized my original was in mine."

"Thank you," Hunter breathed, hardly daring to touch it. Would he like what he read? Would it even be important?

"You can take it home to read if you would like some privacy," the professor suggested.

"I think I would like that, thank you," Hunter tucked the papers in his bag carefully, letting Flapjack know these weren't for playing. "Now your turn. What questions do you have?" He braced himself for weird or invasive questions, any variety of them.

"What color were Belos's eyes?"

"What?" That was... shockingly mundane.

"There are conflicting accounts by people who saw the man. Red like the devil, entirely white, he had no pupils, and so on. Some that I believe to be completely untrue. And many simply don't remember, especially if they met him as Phillip. I know it may seem inconsequential, but I've been annoyed for decades that no one can agree. As his nephew, you saw him without the mask often, yes?"

"Yeah. And his eyes were always blue." And when he was pleased or amused with Hunter, they would crinkle at the edges and look so kind.

"They never changed color due to his... curse? When it grew out of control?"

"No. They would just... get different. Very bright, they would glow and it scared me. I liked him better when the curse wasn't messing with his head. He was nicer to me."

Even if it was a lie.

He had another chance during Break that day, Gus and Luz had started a game of tag in the large, grassy area behind the school. He opted to stay behind with Willow, the two of them laying back in the grass.

There were so many moments where he could have asked. The words were right on the tip of his tongue. Will you go to Grom with me? Something stopped him every time. She deserved better. A better Gromposal. A better date. She wouldn't say yes. Or worse, she would, purely out of pity for him.

No, Willow Park wouldn't go out with someone she didn't really like. That was a stupid thought. He should just ask her now and get it over with.

"Hunter?"

"Yes?" he turned to her immediately his notched ear twitching. He resisted the urge to say Captain. They were not at Flyer Derby practice.

"Can I ask you a question?" Willow adjusted her gold-rimmed glasses, looking a bit bashful which seemed out of character for her.

"Yeah, of course."

"If it's weird, then you can say no."

Hunter nodded, the suspense making his stomach hurt a little. What did she want to ask? What if it was something about the grimwalker thing, and he answered truthfully, and she was disgusted?

"Will you be my date to Grom?"

His mouth dropped open and he sat up. "Really?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I want to go with you." Willow covered her face with her hand that wasn't currently in a sling. "I knew it was weird, you don't have to say yes and I hope this doesn't change our friendship-"

"You- you beat me to it!" Hunter blurted stupidly, feeling a blush creep up into his face.

"Huh?"

"You beat me to it," the air left his chest in a giddy laugh. "But I- I guess I have an answer now, in a way."

"I still need my answer," Willow's hand had left her eyes, and she was looking up at him.

"Yes," Hunter said, and he couldn't help but smile when he said it, laying back down on the warm grass. "If you want me to go with you, of course, I'll go. I didn't think- I thought if I asked then you would probably say no, but I'm so glad you wouldn't have." he became aware that he was rambling and clapped a gloved hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry."

Her smile is warmer than the sun. "I was worried you would say no too. I'm glad you didn't."

"How could I?" Hunter said softly. "You're just- the best." He wasn't sure how else to say how he feels. So he stopped talking and scooted a little closer, and they laid there in the grass, faces burning up and giddy smiles making their cheeks hurt.

"Slow down, slow down," Darius said, placing his hands on Hunter's shoulders. "Tell me at a normal speed what's up."

"I- I don't know!" The boy looked overwhelmed. Darius steered him to the kitchen table and they both sat down. Hunter did that breathing trick he used on occasion, and soon he was calm enough to start at the beginning.

"So, you know the captain of the Emerald Entrails, Willow, the one who's super strong and cool and pretty and everything?"

Oh boy, Darius knew where this was going now. He nodded, waiting for the 'how to confess' question.

"Well, I was going to ask her if she would go to Grom with me since that's this Friday. I was sort of running out of time, and then she asked me to Grom, and of course, I said yes, and then when I was about to leave the school she asked-" Hunter blushed profusely, stumbling over this part of the story. "-she asked if she could kiss me, and I mean- I said yes, because of course I would why would I say no, but she did something confusing."

"What did she do?" Darius asked carefully, after a moment of hesitation.

"She, um- well, I know how kissing is supposed to go, there are different kinds, I know that, but I wasn't expecting this kind. She put her mouth... on my mouth?" Hunter trailed off.

"Did it feel bad?" Darius asked, not quite seeing the problem yet.

"No. It's just- isn't that the wrong kind?"

"I don't quite understand. What do you think she meant by doing that?"

The boy sank lower in his chair. "In books and movies, that kiss always comes before the... you know."

Oh.

This wasn't what Darius had expected at all.

"Which books and movies? Not all of them, surely," Darius said.

"Well, in the ones I borrowed at the Castle-"

"Borrowed as in stole and snuck back later? I noticed, you know."

"Um, yeah. That's how it always went. And I haven't seen a lot of movies yet, but so far... it just seemed that way to me. Is that wrong? Is that not what it means?"

"A kiss doesn't have to be anything more than a kiss. For some people in some situations, it may lead to other things. The media likes to depict those whirlwind romances where one thing leads to another quickly because it's fun to watch. It's easy to fit into run time if it's love at first sight. There's this assumption shared by most people that sex is something all people want, that it's a common goal."

Hunter hesitated. "And what if I don't feel that way? Do I still have to grow into it?"

Suddenly, that voice could have been the voice of Darius's younger self, and his heart ached for the boy who had never spoken as openly as Hunter was now. Maybe he could help the boy in front of him now. Maybe he could save him years of painful and uncomfortable questioning if this was the case and they really were similar in this regard.

"Some people grow up and as they do, they start to get those feelings. They start to want that sort of intimacy. And some people don't. No one else can know but you."

Hunter looked downcast. "Oh. So something is wrong with me?"

"No, that's not what I mean at all. There's a word for people who don't feel that kind of attraction, it's asexual."

"Asexual?"

"A label for people who don't experience sexual attraction and might not want to engage in that sort of thing. I'm asexual." (Note: They're my comfort characters, I get to project my aceness onto them)

"Oh. And if I'm... asexual too, I can still like kissing?" Hunter nervously wrung his hands, trying to wrap his head around this new realization. "And I can still like Willow, and want to go to Grom with her?"

"Sexual attraction is entirely separate from romantic attraction. Some people, like me, don't feel either, but you can just feel one and not the other," Darius explained. "So yes, romantic feelings for this girl can exist along with asexuality. And you can still enjoy kissing. No matter how much some movies might make it seem, kissing doesn't always lead to other things. We need to expand your horizons a bit, you might be watching the wrong genre..."

"But don't all couples... you know," Hunter looked down, starting to feel awkward discussing what seemed like such a personal subject.

"Not all of them. Don't think it's a requirement, and definitely don't force yourself to do anything you aren't comfortable with," Darius said. "Whether you are asexual or not, it's okay to say no when you aren't ready. Don't let anyone pressure you. Not that I think your girlfriend will-"

"She's not- I don't know if we're together like that," Hunter mumbled. "What if she doesn't like it? What if she doesn't like being together and... not?"

Darius sighed. He had to learn this lesson the painful way. "Some people- it matters to some people, and you can't change that. If you aren't compatible then it's best sometimes to break it off. But others will understand. And others may be like you. You never really know until you ask. I wouldn't worry about it now." He rose from his seat and sighed. "You two are just kids. You can tell her if you would like, and talk about it."

"Yeah, maybe." Hunter looked down considering everything he'd just been told. "Thanks, Darius."

"It's no problem," Darius shrugged.

"When I figure it out, I'll tell you."

"Alright. There's no rush, though."

Hunter pressed on a light glyph under the covers that night and turned to the first page of the interview transcript.

According to the notes Professor Bug had taken, this Golden Guard had been nearing fifty. He had lasted a long time. He had blond hair, combed back, and one curl that continued to pop out and wouldn't stay. There was a scar across his right eye, which was a duller magenta than the other. He was mask-less and didn't seem to have his cape with the Golden Guard sigil anymore.

He talked about being taken in by Belos as a child. A supposed 'child of a friend' whom Belos had 'thought of as a son'.

"I was really meant to be his mindless slave," one of the quotes stated, "not his son at all."

This Golden Guard had been very suspicious that his father figure did not seem to age. Maybe if Hunter was around for a longer time, if he'd spent even more years at Belos's side, he would have noticed the same thing. Belos aged very, very, slowly. He found out about the palismen, and what Belos was really using them for. He claimed that's why he ran. Because he was disgusted at such a thing.

Did he really? Or was it another revelation, Hunter questioned? Belos had been able to explain to him why he consumed palismen like that. Until one bonded with him, Hunter hadn't felt bad enough to stop bringing them. Was it really the palismen that drove the Golden Guard away, or was it an even worse secret? One you might not bring up to a stranger just in case they decided they didn't like it.

The interview seemed to go on about theories as to why Belos would need to drain palismen, how it was accomplished, and so forth. Hunter sighed and tucked the pages back into his bag.

Nothing much about the Golden Guard himself. Were they really so similar? Was Hunter him? Would he age the exact same way, gaining the exact same lines around his eyes? Did that Golden Guard have a knee that acted up when it rained too? Did they both have a sweet tooth, and did they both enjoy carrots but despise peas? Or were they really different people?

No one had ever asked the previous Golden Guards those things.

Why would they?

Trigger Warning: death of animal, slight gore

Skip to the end of the section

Hunter felt something beneath his foot. He lifted it up to see a downy feather. Down the hallway he walked, an impossibly long way. Down, down, down, more and more feathers lying on the stone floor.

Another one

Red, soft

Another

With a bit of skin attached

Another

With spattered blood soaking into the stone

He gathered them up in his hands, he kept walking, walking, walking

Flapjack.

He looked at his handful of downy feathers, realizing why they looked so familiar.

"Hunter."

Clawed hands held the halves of his palisman and Hunter's blood (or whatever he had) ran cold in his veins (whatever they were made of)

Drip

Drip

Another feather, onto the floor by his feet, and Belos poured the magic out

drip

drip

it flowed into his mask

and he inhaled deeply.

"now you"

Hunter couldn't feel the ground beneath his feet anymore, and he began to split down the middle

He woke up grasping his stomach, which ached like he had been snapped in two. He leaned over the side of the bed, but could only dry heave. He hadn't eaten lunch and he'd picked at his dinner.

He could only dry heave

He felt hollow

The next night he lay awake again, staring at the ceiling. He had the worst headache behind his eyes. Flapjack preened on the pillow beside him, alive and well.

The door was locked. In case he tried to get in again.

Hunter knew he wasn't really there. He wasn't really pounding on the door, screaming, or Darius would hear him, because Darius was right there down the hall, right there always.

He doesn't like it when you lock the doors, he'll yell at you worse because you locked them, you're locking him out so why don't you go unlock the door because if you don't the punishment is going to be worse because he doesn't like it he doesn't like it he doesn't like it

Shut up, Hunter thought loudly. There is no Belos, he's dead, and he doesn't care if I lock doors anymore.

"Because he's dead," he said out loud. To Flapjack. To the ceiling. "He can't feel anything."

If he was so sure that Belos was dead and gone, why had he stayed awake all those nights in the Human Realm? Watching the windows. Watching the door. Watching his friends, to see if their chests would rise again. Making sure they were all breathing. Listening closely for the tap of footsteps, for the labored breathing and dragging feet of the monster his dear uncle became when he went too far and made him too angry. If he caught him in the Human Realm, he would be so, so angry-

Belos was dead. Right? He was a pile of mush on the ground, he couldn't come back from that.

He always comes back

No matter how far he goes, he always comes back

No. Hunter turned and buried his face in his pillow. That wasn't true.

He felt so sick again.

He hesitated before unlocking the door. He'll be able to get in. No, Hunter was getting out. The hallway was empty. He went to the bathroom and knelt down, waiting for everything he'd had at dinner to come back up. He hated this part, waiting for it to be over. Puking always made him feel a little bit better, not having his mouth fill up with spit like this and his head spin.

He felt it come up and leaned over the toilet.

Sometime after he started coughing, he heard the door open. He's here, he'll be disappointed. Hunter whimpered, shutting his eyes and waiting for the blow to fall.

Darius ran his fingers through his hair. It wasn't the same as when Belos would flick the curl in front of his face. Sometimes he missed that. But this was good too. This was good.

Swish and spit, that was the drill.

"Why does this keep happening?" Darius asked.

"I dunno. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you're okay," Darius heard how close Hunter sounded to crying and tried to sound as comforting as possible. He wasn't sure how he was doing. "Don't worry about it tonight. Do you think you want to go to a healer about this?"

"No," Hunter said hurriedly. "No, no healers, I can- I'll be fine. I'm done now."

Darius bit back his questions. Was it something Hunter was eating? Was he allergic to something? Was he anxious? Instead, he asked, "Anything else I can do for you?"

"I don't wanna be by myself," the words tumbled out almost against Hunter's will. How selfish of him. He was such a clingy, needy-

"Do you want to sit in my room, or should I come to sit in yours?"

He was okay with it? Darius didn't sigh. He didn't roll his eyes. He didn't sound one bit annoyed.

Hunter mumbled something like 'is it okay if I stay with you?' or 'is it okay if I sit in your room?', he wasn't sure which, and Darius nodded. "As long as you're sure you're done puking, please for the love of Titan do not puke in my bed."

Hunter nodded, standing on shaky legs. "I promise, everything's out now." He had the urge to ask Darius why he had such a big bed if it was just him. Wait, I know the answer to that. Darius is what Luz calls 'extra'.

That word made a lot of sense now.

Hunter sat down on the bed awkwardly.

"Scoot, that's my side," Darius said. So Hunter scooted over to the right side.

"Do you only ever sleep on one side? That's weird. If it was me I'd sleep right in the middle."

Darius rolled his eyes, taking the bookmark out of his book and starting to read. Picking up where he'd left off before hearing puking noises, Hunter assumed.

"I'm sorry I keep getting sick. I know you don't like it."

"I know you can't help it, I'm not going to kick you out or anything. I like you a little more than I dislike puke," he teased. "It just concerns me."

Hunter sighed, laying down. The pillows made a fwump sound. That was funny. He wanted to sit back up and do it again, but that would be childish. He turned and looked at Darius instead. The lamplight was soft and didn't hurt his head too bad. He turned the page. The lines on his hands looked more prominent for some reason. From this side, he could only see the very ends of the lines on his face. There was one snaking across the bridge of his nose. Did it ever bother him that his face wasn't symmetrical anymore?

If he had scars on his face back when they lived in the castle, would he have seemed scarier? It was hard to imagine Darius as scary anymore. It was just him. The man who pestered Hunter about going to bad at a reasonable hour and picked him up from school sometimes and came to Flyer Derby matches.

Hunter saw a picture of him once, at Eda's house. He was part of a big group of Hexside students. There was a big gap in Hunter's knowledge about him after that. He'd been a kid, gone to school, and bam, then he was a Coven Head.

Well, the previous Golden Guard had been his mentor. Hunter suddenly felt cold and pulled up the blankets over himself. Here Darius was, with the Golden Guard again. Did it feel the same, or different?

"Do you have a question to ask?" Darius asked, glancing down.

"No."

"Alright."

Hunter stopped staring and turned over. He listened to the pages flip. His eyes felt heavier and heavier, and then they shut.

Darius sighed, watching Hunter climb the stairs up the Hexside's huge doors. He'd insisted he was fine to go to school, even after waking up again in tears and getting hardly any sleep.

He couldn't force the kid to go to a healer. He was sixteen.

Or maybe he could. He was only sixteen, he probably didn't know what was best for him.

Maybe he just needed more time.

"I'm not sure much more sleep either of us can miss," he grumbled to himself, running a hand down his face. An exhausting day entertaining the Collector awaited him. At least Edalyn would be there today to help, she was better with kids than he was.

She would know what to do with Hunter. It made Darius feel helpless to watch the boy cry himself sick some nights, or find him asleep under his bed, to hear him beg quietly not to be hurt and wake up distraught. He really didn't know what to do.

Hunter didn't expect any help either, and that somehow hurt too. He expected Darius to let him struggle. How was Darius supposed to let him know that he didn't have to do that, and how was Hunter supposed to believe him?

"Titan, I didn't think parenting required a fucking psychology degree."