This is just a little something I wrote while waiting in agony for Season 3 of BSG to start. I was wondering what the good-bye between Roslin and Adama might have been like before she went down to New Caprica. Geriatric romance is so much fun! Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, oh how I wish I did, but then I would be a genius like Ron Moore and I would get to hang out with cool people like Edward James Olmos, Mary McDonnell, and Jamie" too hot for his own good" Bamber. Alas, the characters are not mine.
Laura Roslin slouched on the sofa near the door into his quarters. She had just finished packing and was ordered to immediately depart to the planet.
"We both know I was never meant to be President."
She studied his face carefully. He was not a man to give away his thoughts cheaply. His distinguished face remained granite.
"Baltar is an idiot."
That was the extent of his reply. Laura straightened her posture on the sofa. She watched him look down into the glass in his hand. She couldn't leave things as they were in her office the day Adama confronted her about fixing the election.
"You'll have to work with him now."
His eyes continued to bore a hole in the glass. He did not look at her.
"Just my luck."
Again she got a brief reply. Her ship would be leaving soon to take her to a waiting classroom of students on New Caprica. This would probably one of the last conversations she would have with him aboard Galactica. Here she was fearing for the survival of the race and he was giving her short evading answers. Perhaps he had already decided that discussing political issues with her was a waste of time. She felt a little pang at that, much as she tried to shake the feeling.
"You're going down?" He asked abruptly. His eyes lifted enough for her to look into.
"You're surprised," she answered. His reply came swiftly.
"Yes, I am. I didn't think you would give up without more of a fight."
Laura lifted her chin.
"After what I did, Baltar is hardly interested in keeping me on as an advisor."
"His mistake." His eyes cut a sharp path to her position.
"There is not much I can do," Laura said with a heavy sigh.
She got the sense that Adama was angry with her. That was hardly fair considering she acutely felt the pain of losing the election and leaving the life and people she had known for the last six months. The way he had looked at her two days ago in her office had affected her deeply. The disappointment was plain on his face, and it was that disappointment which had caused her tears. She refused to let that happen again.
"You've lost hope, given up," Adama stated, his eyes and tone softer. Laura broke their gaze. She let a hostile silence flood the room. How else was she supposed to react to such an accusation?
"So you're not the leader of the prophecy or the president…so what? You don't have to be a president to be a great leader. We still know the way to earth. We still have a race to save."
His deep soothing voice filled her ears as she continued to look away from him. Soon his voice would be just an echo like earth was now a broken dream. Echoes and broken dreams seem to be in bountiful supply for survivors of humanity, Laura thought with resentment.
"You mean, you and Baltar have a race to save," Laura corrected, not letting the bitterness she felt slip into her voice.
"I won't be seeing you much anymore…"
The way he turned when he spoke made Laura abruptly bring her eyes back to him. As soon as she gazed up he was looking down into his glass again. She thought she heard more than just sorrow over a political loss in his words. She swallowed hard. The most dangerous ground she stood on with Bill Adama was not the turf made of military protocol, political movements, or moral issues.
"I don't know, I'm sure my students would welcome a guest lecture by Admiral Adama," Laura replied with a teasing smile. She hoped to deflect the conversation from its current course with humor. Adama smiled faintly into his glass.
"You know what I mean," he replied and slowly brought his eyes back up to her. Laura remained motionless. She was not sure what to make of his words. Truth be told she did not want to reflect on his words for fear of uncovering exactly what he meant. When she didn't answer Adama walk over to his desk and set the glass down. He continued to face away from her.
"You danced with me on Colonial Day," he said.
"Who knew Admiral Adama could boogie," she joked again. From just over his shoulder she saw his lips curve into a smile. He brought his hands together and fingered the golden ring he wore.
"I haven't taken off my wedding ring since the day I put it on," Adama began as he continued to smile. Suddenly the room felt very hot to Laura. She wished one of the famous hellishly cold breezes that plagued New Caprica would blast through the Admiral's quarters.
"Caroline left me over twenty years ago but…what we had, it was good for a while, you know," Adama looked over his shoulder at Laura a faint smile still on his lips.
She maintained an expressionless still position on his sofa, although she had moved to the edge of the seat. She felt ready to spring and leave the room at any moment. Instead she briefly smiled and averted her gaze.
Adama turned and took a few steps toward her. As he walked he removed his ring. At the precise moment it left his finger Laura felt her heart jump to her throat.
"I once told Chief Tyrol that when you love someone you love them. Love is thoughts. Even after the attack I still thought about what I had with Caroline," Adama explained as naturally as if he was giving a command in the CIC.
"Not anymore."
Slowly he reached down and took her hand. Slowly he put his wedding ring in her palm and closed her fingers around it. Laura stood up with his hands still clasped around hers. William Adama was a man who did not make decisions carelessly. He was a man who stuck by his choices and accepted the consequences. Through all their experiences she had begun to know him, to really know the man who wears the uniform. Laura knew what it cost him to say what he just had and try as her clearer, smarter, logical side might she could not diminish the gesture by refusal.
Silence erupted for a long time. Bill's eyes now stared her down as they had the glass. She felt as if his eyes could melt her into a disgusting, giggling hopeless romantic. Unfortunately, her clearer, smarter, logical side loudly reminded her that romance, especially involving Bill Adama, was hopelessly off limits.
"Love is thoughts. It's enough for me," he finally said as if reading her thoughts.
Laura was about to speak when the metal hatch to his quarters began to turn. With reluctance Laura felt him remove his hands from hers. Her heart stopped beating as loudly in her ears as he stepped away.
"Yes," Adama said, glancing toward the floor.
"Admiral, Madame Pres…or, uh, I mean," Apollo addressed his father and then stumbled. Laura watched Bill for a few moments more and then turned her attention to his son.
"It's alright Captain. Ms. Roslin is fine," she said with a cheerless smile in his direction.
"Okay," he answered sheepishly with a roaming glance from herself to the Admiral.
"The civilian transport ship is about to leave," Apollo's tone was once again professional.
Laura nodded and turned back to Adama. When confronted with her feelings for him she always felt a bit queasy and unnerved. Bill seemed to know as well as she that they could never really be together and for that she was grateful…if not a bit…no, not a 'bit.' A bit was small and insignificant. What she felt was a…a mountainous throng of disappointment.
"Good-bye Ms. Roslin," Bill said.
His gravely voice always managed to pierce through her. The softer side of her nature finally won and she gave into giving him a hug. He accepted. She knew it would be the first and last time in his arms. He released her and she held on tightly to the ring still in her hand.
When she looked up she saw Apollo's cheeks where an interesting shade of pink. She wondered if Adama had confided his feelings to his son but dismissed the idea. Apollo probably just wasn't used to seeing his father-the-admiral behave so gently. She took a few steps toward the younger man and then turned.
"You will be in my thoughts," she said and immediately saw Adama catch the full meaning of her words. His face brightened and his expression nearly made her heart split. Being in love was dangerous for her, for both of them, considering their respective positions. She couldn't let herself fall completely no matter how much she wanted to. His smile faded and she saw a little misery replace it.
Apollo closed the hatch and his father disappeared from sight. Laura silently slipped his ring into her right pocket as Apollo escorted down the corridor to the shuttle bay.
"For what it's worth, I voted for you," Apollo confided. Laura smiled.
"Thank you, Captain, although I can't imagine the alternative would have persuaded you had I not be running."
Apollo laughed a little.
"Everyone with half a brain knows you should be President. To many of us, me, Kara, my father, you still are. I think even Tigh admitted you are better than the alternative."
Laura let the weight of his words sink in. Her heart was not light today as it sometimes was or she might have let an "Ellen Tigh" joke slip.
"Many of the decisions I made were…controversial," she said.
Lee was silent for a moment as he seemed to be pondering her words.
"To be honest, I haven't agreed with a lot of them—"
"I noticed," Laura interrupted teasingly. Lee cracked a grin before continuing.
"But they were decisions that had to be made, and right or wrong, you made them without hesitation. More times than not you saved our asses. That is something Baltar won't be able to do."
Leave it to Lee to lift her spirits when she was feeling down. Part of her wondered how Lee would get along with his father without her there to temper each of them. It was sad how two good men could be at such odds with each other. The thought had often saddened her.
Apollo opened the hatch to the shuttle bay and picked up the transmitter hanging on the inside wall. She heard a muffed voice on the other side and then Apollo put the receiver down.
"They will be up in just a minute when the shuttle's ready."
Laura nodded and took one last sweeping gaze out the large windows of the command center and down onto the hanger deck of the Galactica. She would miss the smell of engine oil and hot metal more than she cared to think about.
"My father gave you his wedding ring, didn't he?" Apollo asked suddenly.
Laura was so surprised she cleared her throat delicately after inhaling rapidly.
"Why do you say that?" she asked innocently not giving him any reason to think he was right.
"I noticed he wasn't wearing it. I can't remember him not wearing it…but more than that I know him. He is my father and…he loves you."
"As you do Captain Thrace," Laura retorted a bit coldly as a warning that Apollo was prying where he wasn't wanted.
"What?" Apollo asked, reeling in confusing.
"I wish you luck Commander," Laura said quickly, changing the subject for both their sakes. Lee looked as if he was about to say something and then closed his mouth.
"You to," he replied and extended a hand. She shook it firmly and turned her attention back out the window.
"For what it's worth, if things were different, I would have liked—"
For the second time that day Laura was saved by the opening of a door. Captain Thrace stepped inside.
"Madame President, the shuttle is ready," she said with a salute.
"Please, call me Ms. Roslin, or Laura," she told the young woman. Thrace rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
"I don't give a frak what the elections say. You should be President and I'm not going to stop calling you that," Kara voice was wild.
"Captain Thrace," Laura began taking a few intimidating steps forward, "We live in a democracy. What the people say we must adhere to. All of us in this room are bound by the oaths we took to protect our government. If we begin to question that government everything I've worked for over the past six months will crumble. Is that really what you want?"
Laura was a bit worried that Kara was going to deck her judging by the high color in young pilot's face. Laura was also worried she deserved it from the hypocritical nature of her own words. She had tried to fix the election.
"No offence, Madame President, but with Baltar in charge things are already beginning to crumble. In my opinion the sooner you wake up and realize that the fleet can't survive without you're leadership, the sooner we can get off this fraking planet and find earth. I like to think we didn't save you from death so you could disappear into some pathetic classroom. You should have left the election fixed. Baltar can't be President," Kara said.
The truth of Kara's words hurt Laura, and affected her to her core. She had to turn away from the young pilot and walk to the corner of the room to regain her composure. The disappointment on Adama's face a few days earlier flashed through her mind. He had said she would be a criminal, a criminal, if she stole the election.
"Kara," Laura heard Lee scold from behind her.
"You said the shuttle was ready?" Laura said her voice strong. Kara appeared a little surprised at the force of her words.
"You're not going to step up?" Kara sneered.
"If I support Baltar now the people will follow. It's bad enough we are fighting the Cylons, I refuse to pave the way for us to fight ourselves," Laura told her. Adama's words again weighed on her mind…we made the decision, it was the right one then, it's the right one now. Laura pushed past the girl but in a surprisingly bold move Kara grabbed her arm.
"You're going to give up just like that? You gave us hope and now you're saying its run out," Kara cooed deeply.
Laura was about to hiss back at Kara but she took a deep breath and calmed herself. Kara was a loyal supporter and somewhere along the line Laura had begun to think of her as a daughter not a fiercely troubled-but-skilled Viper pilot.
"Captain...Kara, I appreciate you candor, really I do, but for the time being my hands are tied. Both you and Admiral Adama have scolded me today for giving up. I want to make it perfectly clear that I'm not giving up, nor have I lost hope, I'm biding time. I have time now. Sometimes being a good politician is about knowing when not to act," Laura explained. Kara released her strong grip and looked to a spot somewhere over Laura's shoulder.
"I used to believe in you," Kara said in a low tone barely above a whisper. Laura felt the sting of that worse than anything else that had happened on this crappy day.
"So did a lot of people," Laura retorted.
She brushed her fingers over the outline of the ring in her pocket then stepped out the hatch and took a deep breath trying to keep away any tears that may have threatened her skillful political composure. Lee and Kara followed a few steps behind her as she marched determinedly to the shuttle. The shuttle that would take her to her new life on a planet she was forced to call home.