Once upon a time there was a boy named Harry.
Harry was the Chosen One and he was kind of a Gary Stu.
But one time when he was fifteen, he shouted and wangsted a lot.
And then when he was sixteen he suddenly stopped.
It was weird.
-
There was also a girl named Hermione.
She was smart and she had really bushy hair.
She acted like Harry's mom, except... she wasn't.
But people still wrote stories where she fell in love with him.
It's weird.
-
I read a Harry&Hermione story once.
It had a lot of spelling mistakes and they were so out-of-character it was, like, canon rape.
But it got a lot of positive reviews anyway.
It was weird.
-
One time I was walking home and I saw this cat.
I went over to it and I petted it.
But then the cat was all like "oh no you don't beeyotch!" and it scratched me.
So I stopped petting it and I ran to my house.
That cat was crazy.
-
When I was younger I used to like Harry&Hermione.
I thought they were the best ship ever.
Then I reread the books and I was all "why did I ever like that ship?"
It was weird.
-
One time I posted a story on fanfiction dot net.
It was called seahorses&cake, and everyone loved it (right?).
One of the chapters was about the Weasleys getting eaten by a moose.
The other chapter was about how weird Harry&Hermione is.
But then fanfiction dot net ate chapter two.
So I had to rewrite it.
And it might not be as cool anymore.
But next chapter will be really cool.
In it, Draco wears a dress.