"Sora don't ever change." Distorted voices…

"Come on, I know you want to try-" Distant memories

"I get to share the paopu with-" Jealousy…

"Let's take the raft and go! Just the two of-" No, I don't want this!

"Why? Why do you have the key-" So many pieces of you…

"Roxas…his name's Roxas…" Everything I wish to be…

"Sora! Don't let it over take-" The Darkness. But, I'm not suppose toenjoy this…

A scattered dream that's like a far off memory…

"I know your stronger than-" You aren't strong at all, just naïve.

"The heart maybe weak, and maybe sometimes give in, but there's a light that never goes out!" But where is my light?

"Once you find your light, never loose sight of it…" I can't see it anymore. My true light!

"Take care of her." Why her?

"I know you will!" Love? No, false promises…

A far of memory that's like a scattered dream

"Sora don't ever change." Promises…Stay the same…

I wanna line the pieces up…

"Having a friend like you." A friend like me…just me…

Yours…and mines…

Then open your eyes; stop lying to yourself…

Lying to myself?

Be who you are, that's all he wants. That's all you need…

Wonk ouY nahT noitceffA eroM deeeN I

Sora

Sora slowly opened his eyes to the ceiling of his room. He blinked slowly and winced at the horrible pain in his body. He made an attempt to sit up only to find a pale arm wrapped around his waist. He felt his heart sink in his chest and the events slowly returned to him. He felt as though he would hyperventilate but willed his heart to slow. It wasn't a nightmare or a hallucination. Aros had slept with Riku, using his body and stealing his virginity. And Riku…

Sora cringed as pain racked trough his spine but he knew he had to get up. His mother would be home soon. He sat up and looked down at the sleeping blonde. As he watched the peaceful expression on his best friends face he thought of at what cost Riku had gained this contentment. At that very moment, all he could feel was pure rage. How could Riku have done this? He knew that he loved Kairi! But he still did this to him! Sora glared down at the sleeping boy and tremble with both the pains of last night's events and the anger inside him. He reached out to Riku and wrapped his thin fingers around his throat. He sat there unmoving, never applying pressure.

"Riku…how could you…"

"Such a child…"

Sora fought to ignore Aros's voice in his ear. "It's his fault. He knew that I already had Kairi. I don't want him!"

"So you'll hurt him just because you're frustrated with your own wants and needs. Our light did nothing more than what you always do. He followed his heart."

Sora's eyes widened.

I was jealous of you. The way you lived, always following your heart.

Sora slowly pulled his hand away and Riku shifted and turned his sleep. Sora's once shining azure eyes dulled to deep cobalt blue. "Riku…"

"Remember our deal Sora. You can be angry and vengeful as much as you wish, but you chose. Riku is mine. However you deal with it from now on, is your own problem."

Sora lowered his head and took a few deep breaths before reaching over and shaking Riku gently. Riku groaned and swatted at the annoying hand. Sora shook harder calling his name as well. Unfocused oceanic eyes opened slowly, giving him a tired expression. Sora fought to find his voice so that he could speak but it only came out as a hoarse whisper.

"We need to get dressed…mom'll be home soon, Riku."

He smiled and kissed Sora gently. The boy flinched and pulled away instinctually. Riku frowned.

"What's wrong?"

Sora hesitated in answering and resisted the urge to push Riku's naked form away from him. "It's nothing…I'm just really sore right now, and in a lot of pain. "

Riku gave a guilty and sheepish smile. "Sorry about that…I didn't mean for it to hurt." He sat up and stretched looking down at the brunette. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table. "We have about three hours before your mom comes back. That's enough time to get you cleaned up."

Sora nodded slowly but was ignored when Riku stood and slipped on his boxers. He went toward the bathroom and Sora heard the water running in the tub. He lay back down with a sigh of release at the temporary absence. He glanced at the mirror searching for Roxas. To his dismay he saw that Roxas's room was not there anymore, instead there was a dark room that Sora had never seen before. It was beautiful. The walls were dark in color and the one window shined electric neon lights with in the confines. He sat up slowly and squinted his eyes in order to get a better look outside the window. It seemed very familiar, like somewhere he had been before.

"What are you looking at?"

Sora blinked and turned to Riku who stood in the doorway looking at him strangely. He shook his head and gave a frail smile. "Just thought I saw something."

Riku shrugged and went over to him. He scooped Sora up making him let out a squeak of surprise as he was lifted from the bed. He never knew that Riku was that strong. He felt a tingle in his stomach at the feel of Riku's strong arms around him. Shaking his head, he struggled but eventually gave up seeing as moving was too painful. Despite Sora's protests, he was taken to the bathroom and set gently into steaming water. Sora hissed a little but soon he felt his muscles turn into jelly and he relaxed in the hot liquid. Riku released him and let him lay back against the tub. He would hand it to the blonde that this was nice. Still he was too embarrassed to say anything. Riku took a seat on the floor next to the tub and drew his knees up. Sora never actually noticed how timid Riku truly was. In the face of their friends or in a battle, the blonde was strong and bold. But now that Sora looked at him, he seemed as though cornered, almost scared.

"Sora…about last night…"

Well that took care of that. "What about it…"

"What you said and all, what did it mean?"

Sora remained silent. What could he say? The words the night before where not his own. He wanted to yell at the blonde and curse him for taking advantage of him. He almost did but he found his mouth opening of it's own accord. "It means that we can be together now. But, we have to keep it a secret. I'm not ready for everyone to know yet. Especially, Kairi…"

Sora sat agape at himself. He sure as hell didn't say that. "Don't worry, just making things simpler for you." Sora sighed and looked up at the soft smile on Riku's face. How am I going to do this?

The next week, Sora spent his time trying to balance Kairi and Riku. Between fending off Kairi's incessant questioning and keeping Aros at bay, he was thoroughly exhausted. Riku, surprisingly, was the easiest one to deal with. He didn't ask for Sora to spend time with him. He was possessive when they were alone but in front of their friends it was just like old times. He never crowed Sora nor forced him to go anywhere. He always gave Sora room to say no. For once, Sora felt that he and Riku were normal again despite these setbacks. Sora was able to talk more and tell Riku about all the things that had been going on with him since they had gotten back. Still, Sora decided that keeping Aros to himself was the best for both of them. Every now and then, Riku would sneak over on Aros's invite and would sleep with him. Aros always took over to keep Sora from screwing up. Sora hated those nights. Every morning, he could barely keep up the act.

Kairi however was something else entirely. Sora found it harder and harder to avoid her. She would come over everyday and make excuses for them to be together. Once she even tried to get Sora to come to a carnival with her, but Riku invited himself along. Sora wasn't blind. The tension between those two was beginning to make his hair stand on worse ends than it already did. However, he was able to have a good time despite the glares from Kairi. Today, he blew them both off. He needed time to think about what the hell he was going to do from this point. It was Friday, one full week since Aros and Riku had been together. Sora still had no clue how to get out of this.

He sat on the couch staring blankly at the TV while his mom watched the afternoon cartoons. He swore that woman was a bigger kid than he was. Sherice laughed but quieted when she noticed her baby bear did not. She sighed and placed her teacup on the table and leaned back on the couch.

"Baby bear?"

Sora blinked out of his dazed and looked at Sherice. "Huh?"

"What's wrong? You seem so worn out lately, bear."

Sora shook his head and rested his head on his elbow. "It's nothing. I'm okay, mama bear."

Sherice tilted her head at her son. "How are things with that girl, um Kairi the mayor's kid?"

"Oh, fine," Sora murmured half-heartedly.

"Hmm," Sherice thought for moment trying to make the conversation less strained. "She seems to be coming over more and more often. She's a bit demanding…" That seemed to do the trick.

"And clingy and annoying and just too dependent on me!" Sora blurted out. "I mean, ever since we started dating I can't understand her anymore. We all don't have fun we all don't smile anymore. I just wish that…that…"

"That you were all just friends again?" Sherice finished with a smile.

Sora paused and looked his mother saying nothing.

Sherice giggled. "Sora, I was girl once too."

Sora laughed. "No! Get out of here, mama bear!"

"I know it's hard to believe it but I was a little girl named Sherice before I became mama bear! Anyway, shut up and listen!" She straightened up turned to face Sora. "I had two best friends the way you did. Well, one of them was your father and the other was a boy that I had the biggest crush on. Now your father was kinda like Riku I dare say and the boy was just like Kairi. Once he had me, he didn't want to let go. Even when I began to doubt that I loved him. He began to distract me away from the things that I use to think were important. You know the things I wanted for myself. I had always been selfless. I always did things to make him and your father happy. My entire life had been built on seeing them smile. But, trying so hard to see the smiles of others…I forgot what made me smile."

"What made you smile?"

"Affection that was shown to me and me alone. I realized that when I was with your father. He was very understanding. When I talked he listened, when I was hurt he was there. Sweet and safe was the boy, but your father was something else entirely. He never rushed me to do anything. In fact, he just liked being around me whether I wanted to do something or not. Just sitting quiet was enough to make him happy, you know why?"

Sora shook his head.

"Because as long as I was with him, I was just me. I wasn't the Sherice that he knew. I wasn't the Sherice that my boyfriend knew. I was who I wanted to be. That's what made me happy. As we grew I realized that your father loved me not hyper little people pleasing Sherice. As I changed, he loved me more. There were something's he didn't like but that was okay too. Because that meant he saw my flaws instead of just looking past them. It meant he saw me and that's all I ever wanted. That was the affection I knew."

Sora watched his mother's wistful expression. He was mesmerized by her ability to know just what to say, or what memory to share with him. Maybe they were more a like then he knew. What she said had given him something to think about it.

"Now look, you shouldn't wear yourself out on a demanding girl. If Kairi is the one then that makes it all worth it but if she isn't she isn't. You shouldn't force it or anything like that. Kairi isn't the only girl on this island. You've got to grow up and open your eyes. Make the decisions that are good to you, that make you feel safe."

"But…how would I know it's right or not?"

Sherice laughed and went back to watching her cartoons. "I watch a lot of cartoons and I love disney movies and I happen to be an otaku who is thirty-nine years old. You and I both know I'm a pretty boy fangirl."

Sora grimaced. "Which is your way of explaining why Riku gets away with murder in this house and I don't."

"I'm not going to lie, the boy is smexy,"

"Mom!"

"Oh shut up! My point is. Everyone says that acting that way is wrong. It'sno way to be a mother or raise a child. However the decisions I make are mine. I refuse to give up my way of life for anyone. If they don't like it they kiss mama bear's butt! After all, you came out alright didn't you, baby bear?"

"To a certain extent."

"Hush, baby, mama's talking." She sipped her tea and smiled. "Now Riku, wow,That is any woman's dream."

"I don't think I should hear this…"

"He's strong, he's nice. He's a good boy. He takes care of those close to him. I bet if he was in love, he'd feel it with such passion that it would make any girl weak in the knees! Especially since he never second-guesses himself, even when he's wrong. He'll see his decision through to the end. Wow, that kinda devotion makes me wish I were a teenager again." Sherice squealed.

"Okay, definitely shouldn't hear this."

"Too bad he's already infatuated."

Sora stopped. "What?"

"Oh don't play dumb. I know he likes you and you know it too. Mothers have gaydar like a Russian spy satellite. We know one when we see them and we know who their target is. I know for a fact that you know…at least now you do. Sometimes I think you get your density from your father."

Sora sat down and narrowed his eyes. "How long?"

"Since you both hit pueberty."

"Are you kidding! How could I not tell!"

"Because your about as pliable as chunk of fresh cement and twice as thick."

"MOM!"

"Just telling my baby the truth. Anyway, whatever you decide, I could care less. My baby bear deserves to be happy no matter who it's with." She hugged Sora to him. "But, I just don't want you to end up alone. That's all. I can't be here forever, baby bear. So please, try to think of your self okay?"

Sora closed his eyes and cuddle against his mother. He had always been a sap for his mama bear. As always, she was right about everything he was thinking…maybe he'd have a better idea of what to do now.

Aros laughed hard unable to control himself. "I'm sorry, you want what?"

"Sora have you lost your mind," Roxas exclaimed.

"No, for once I want to do something for myself. I want to see what it's like…"

Roxas shook his head. "Well I told you, it's a dumb idea and you can't trust him!" he pointed an accusing finger at Aros who lounged comfortably on Roxas's bed. The blonde growled and rolled him off. "I don't know where you've been!"

Sora sat in the chair and sighed. "I want to do this Roxas. I want to see what will happen."

Aros lifted himself from the floor and glared at Roxas before going up to Sora. "Alright then, baby bear. I'll show you what it's like. After all, you've been a good boy, Sora. I think you deserve a present for that so I'll give you anything you ask."

Sora nodded slowly and looked at Roxas. "And you?"

Roxas sighed and scowled. "You know I can't say no to you, Sora."

Sora smiled a little. "Alright, but just for the weekend. I'm not sure this is what I want yet. Got it?"

Aros smirked and leaned close to Sora's face. "That's fine. Just remember, you can always say no. But when I'm done with you, you won't want to."

Konoko: oh gosh, I'm sorry for how long this took. Just been trying to get over my writers block. My muses just "C-4"ed that bitch so know my creative juices are flowing again. I know this chapter was uneventful and a little disappointed but I rather you all chillax after the sex scene I've gotten so many compliments for. Thank you thank you. Now in the next chapter, I'm going to screw with Riku's head. So be prepared for it. Don't fry me for this chapter because I just decided to give Mama bear some air time for a friend.

Aros: now, to my public, after Riku's little mind fuck, the next part will include a little look into my origins and maybe a little fan service specially from me. I'm not going to give it away but give lots of good reviews and I'll put on one hell of a show for you. smirk see you there.

Konoko:….I think I've created a monster .