"He looks a lot like you…." Isn't that what you desired, Riku?

"I'm what's left…" Do you really believe that, Hikari?

"The door is opened…" How could you do this, Riku!

"Why do you have the keyblade!" Because you wanted me to have it…

"I'm not afraid of the darkness!" You've never feared me, my light…

"Take care of her…" Is that what you really wanted Riku?

"I don't think I needed to fight him." I've never thought of you as my enemy…

"We'll be the darkness…" I've never abandoned you, Riku…

"I was jealous of you…" I've never hated you, Riku…

wonK uoY nahT noitceffA eroM deeN I

Day 1

Riku Sora

Riku opened his eyes slowly pulling himself from the whispers in his mind. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed softly. As he thought of the memories, he couldn't help but smile. They had come a long away and now thing were so different. Watching from a distance and never being able to reach the one that he wanted most would make it hard to face him everyday. Hell, things like that made him wonder why he had even gotten up in the mornings. Still, Sora was his now. His beautiful smooth sun kissed skin, soft cinnamon locks, and his wonderful body all belonged to Riku. Most of all, those beautiful azure eyes would turn to blazing sapphires just for him and only him. Things had been perfect for him but now; he was beginning to worry about Sora. The brunette had begun to look so worn out and weighed down. What was worse, Riku begin to smell the darkness around Sora more often, especially during their lovemaking. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that Sora was struggling with himself during the day and then suddenly become someone else completely during the night.

Another problem was Kairi. Even though she knew nothing about Sora and his relationship, she still could sense something. She was trying her best to keep them away from each other but it would be an ice age in hell before he let her pull them apart. He wasn't going to let her take Sora away from him, not after all this waiting. He had the brunette and he wouldn't let go. Every now and then he questioned whether not letting anti-Sora kill her was such a good idea. No one would've missed her if actually thought about. Selphie had moved on to bigger and better things because Kairi had abandoned her for the obsession with Sora. She was happy with Tidus and Wakka now so there was no reason for her to even think about Kairi. As far as anyone in else in the town knew, Kairi was just some girl that Sora and Riku hung around. He smirked to himself, maybe just once in a while he'd let the darkness seep through. The next time Sora transformed, he wouldn't say no.

Riku laughed to himself and got out of bed. He had to big of a conscience now to do anything like that. No matter how crazy he was on the inside, he still was human therefore even he was still a weak thing. Besides, he'd loose Naminé and he had no intention of harming the timid girl. She was too good of person to suffer that way.

"What's so funny, ku-chan?"

Riku jumped a little when he saw Sora sitting on his balcony. He sat in the moon light with his skin glowing like an angel. A dark button up shirt covered his small frame with a pair of loose fitting pants bunched around his shoes. The blonde could sense the darkness floating around Sora but for once it wasn't disconcerting like usual. Everything about him seemed calm and different this evening. His deep blue eyes were burning into his own with a whole new fire. It was something that was ominous yet it was not unwelcome. His whole demeanor threw him completely off. Still, Riku had a good feeling of what the brunette had come for. "Sora? How'd you get up there?"

Sora laughed and slid down from the balcony rail. "I climbed." He made his way over to Riku and sat on the bed. "I wanted to talk."

Riku's head turned in confusion. There was a strange sort of confidence in Sora's voice that he had never heard before, like the boy had agreed with himself on something. "About what?"

Sora shifted closer so that his azure gems penetrated the oceanic eyes of his friend. "I want you to look at me."

"I am looking at you, Sora," he replied with a chuckle.

Sora shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I want you to look at me." He held Riku's chin so that he was looking directly at the brunette. "Tell me what you see?"

Riku watched the younger boy for a while. His eyes seemed to be drawing him in. "I…don't know. What am I looking…" His voice trailed off as he stared longer into the pool of sapphire. He saw amber filter into Sora's irises along with a soft baby blue. Riku was entranced by the shifting colors but felt something wrong deep in his heart. Sora leaned forward slowly and pressed his lips shyly to Riku's. His eyes were open and close to Riku's making it impossible to look away. He watched them swirl into light blue right in front of him and he pulled away.

"S-Sora? What's wrong with you?"

"You never answered…"

"Sora something's wrong with your eyes!" Riku exclaimed as he held Sora at arms length. Sora remained quiet staring at Riku. At least that was what he thought until he realized that Sora was staring past him. He didn't get a chance to look behind him before he felt two sets of warm gentle hands grasp his shoulders. Sora's own hands slid to his chest hesitantly and all gently pushed him back onto his bed. The brunette leaned forward and softly kissed the platinum headed teen almost as if this were his first time. The experienced hands began to roam over any skin they could find while Sora curiously explored Riku's mouth. The blonde shuddered but tried to push the brunette away. What the hell was going on? Sora pulled away feeling he had done something wrong. He saw one of the other hands press against his chest. His eyes widened when he realized that his was shadowed and waves of darkness emanated from it. Panicking, Riku fought to lift himself but all three sets of hands held him still, even Sora's. A dark chuckle reached his ears and he looked up into the amber eyes of Anti-Sora. He smirked amusedly and brushed Riku's cheek.

"Shh…it's alright, hikari. We only want to play."

"You owe to us; especially to Sora." Riku gazed up into the bright crystal blue eyes of Roxas.

"I'm tired of being the one confused, Riku. I'm trying to understand." Sora said nipping at Riku's collarbone.

"We all are, Hikari." Anti-Sora's breath brushed his ear before his earlobe was nipped.

"But don't worry, it won't hurt." Roxas whispered kissing his jawline.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Riku," Sora murmured against his skin as his tongue darted out to flick over Riku's nipple. "You know that don't you?"

Riku shuddered at all their ministrations and moaned when Anti-Sora bit into his neck. His fingers found their way to Sora's thighs as the brunette straddled him. Sora's mouth closed around his nipple and suckled softly while Roxas massaged his scalp with nimble fingers. Anti-Sora left bruises along his neck before reaching the juncture between his neck and shoulder. He sunk his dark fangs into the unmarred skin making Riku cry out and arch against Sora. Sora pressed their groins together in slow grinds and clawed his chest. Riku moaned out loud but was silenced by Roxas's mouth over his own. Anti-Sora laughed softly in his ear.

"You have to be quiet, ku-chan."

Riku sighed when his mouth was released. "W-why are you all doing this?"

They all stopped and looked down at him. Sora's eyes bore into his and he moved his mouth slowly. "Because…we want you to understand too. You have to understand each of us. I don't need you to protect me."

"If anything, you need protection yourself."

"And that is what we are here for. What each of us was born for."

"Riku…I fought a long time for you. So that I could find you but I…"

"I never took time to think of myself…only of what you wanted."

"Even I have my own desires. Things that I want, hikari."

"But I can't have them because, I worry about all of you."

Riku sat up slowly and wrapped his arms around Sora. The other two leaned against him. Sora rested his head on Riku's chest but suddenly pulled away from him glaring. His counterparts had disappeared leaving Sora and he alone. Sora growled and pushed Riku down and pinned him there. The swirling colors were there again.

"Riku…you're so selfish. Just like Kairi. You both want and want but it's never enough. Now what you want from me, you knew I couldn't give to you. Still you continued to want it no matter if it hurt me or not. You were selfish enough to think I didn't care about you anymore when you left. You were selfish enough to think that I only wanted to save Kairi and never you. You were even selfish enough to think that I would abandon you! I've been doing everything for you for a long time Riku. Everything you expected of me."

Riku stared up in shock. "What are you talking about? You had forgotten about me. You made new friends and suddenly we didn't matter to you!"

Sora's gaze softened and Riku was able to see all three entities before him in the same face.

"I never thought of you as my enemy, Riku…"

"I never abandoned you, Hikari…"

"I never hated you, ku-chan…"

Riku remained quiet letting the words sink in. Riku stared up at the three entities of Sora.

"Sora…I…"

Sora's hand along with transparent ones moved as one to rest on Riku's lips. They all spoke in unison. "Don't say it…don't say it again until you know for a fact, who you're saying it to and what you are saying it for. Save it for another time."

"Riku! Wake up!"

Riku opened his eyes not remembering when they had closed. He sat up to an empty room with the evening sun shinning from the balcony. His mother's voice penetrated the closed door to his room. He ran his fingers through his hair letting out a long sigh. Had it all just been a dream?

His door opened and his mother bound in with a smile on her face. "Get up, Riku. Some one's here to see you."

When she moved from doorway to open his curtains to the evening sky, Riku saw Sora leaning against the doorframe with a grin on his face. The woman beamed after letting as much light in the already pastel room as possible and headed out the door. "Riku, your father and I are going out. Make sure you lock up when Sora leaves, alright?"

Riku dumbly nodded not taking his eyes of Sora with the dream still fresh in his mind. His mother shook her head and left them alone. Sora watched the door closed making the room completely silent before approaching the blond quietly. Riku smiled at how many times they had done this in the past week. Sora towered over the blonde who turned and wrapped his arm around Sora's waist. The brunette leaned down and kissed him gently. It felt strange again, like this was the first time they had kissed. It was hesitant and shy, almost testing. Trying to ignore it, Riku pulled the brunette down on top of him. The boy let out a huff when he was pressed to Riku's body so forcefully. He looked down at Riku curiously while those oceanic eyes bore into his own.

"What?" Sora questioned softly.

"It's nothing," Riku whispered pulling Sora down to rest against his chest.

"Riku?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you want?"

Riku's eyes shifted to look down at the cinnamon hair that lay on his chest. "What do you mean?"

"What do you want from me? If it made you smile, you know I'd be stupid enough to give you the world, right?"

Flashes of the dream came to him. He hugged Sora close petting the soft cinnamon spikes atop his head. "I don't want that from you…I don't want the world."

"But you use to. You use to want everything that was out there. You wanted everything even if it would cost you your home, your family, your friends…even me."

"I never wanted to lose you. Everything I gained after leaving meant nothing unless I could show it to you. I never wanted to loose you."

Sora shifted and drew away from Riku. "But you did, didn't you. You gave up on me when I had to close you behind Kingdom Hearts. I didn't want to do that but it was what you wanted so I didn't fight it. When you took Kairi, I didn't want you to hurt her but somehow I knew she was just a tool to you. Still, you wanted me to come after her, so I did. Even here, you did things better than me so that I would chase after you. I looked up to you and because you wanted me to, I fought to stay with you. When you met Roxas, he didn't want to fight you but he did anyway didn't he; just because you wanted it, Riku. Now, Kairi and I are dating and I've realized why. It was because you expected us to. A lot has been done just because you wanted it. So, I just wanted to know what you wanted from me now. Living up to everything you expect out of me is hard, Riku."

Riku kept hold of Sora and nuzzled him. "Then don't do it anymore. The thing I wanted most was just to have you. That's all. For all I care, you can do whatever you want, don't try to be what I want you to be, because then I…well I wouldn't love you as much as I did. I love all of you, and that's the whole point."

"That's just what I wanted to know. Thank you, Riku."

Riku smirked at him and pulled him down into a soft kiss. "It's my turn to show you how much I want you, just the way you are."

He looked into those sapphire eyes set a blaze once again. He knew Sora wanted it just as much, but this time, it felt all new and more real than the other times. Like he wasn't living out some well thought out fantasy. He pulled Sora down and turned him onto his back. He unbuttoned his clothing slowly as his mouth moved along his neck gently. He heard soft mewls almost like kitten purrs from the brunette. He wondered how it was even possible for anyone to be adorable during times like these, but Sora always managed. Riku moved along his collarbone nipping softly. He felt he had to be careful considering that not everyone liked being bitten. Riku felt Sora's hand drift into his hair and scratch his scalp slightly. God, he loved it when he did that. Making his way down he flicked his tongue over a single perk nipple and circled his tongue around his areola. Hearing a Sora's breath hitch Riku closed his mouth on the brunette's chest. Sora arched into Riku's mouth squirming against the mattress. Riku moved to other and this time worried it between his teeth causing Sora to make wonderful sounds he hadn't heard before. He continued lower trailing his tongue down to his navel in a pattern he had traveled many times before but never this passionately before. Before he could do anything he felt a tug at his hair and looked up. Sora sat up and pulled the boy to kiss him. Riku, to his surprise, was shoved back onto his bed with new strength. Sora stared at him with that look again. Like he was seeing him this way for the first time.

Sora crushed his lips against Riku's a little clumsily but he doubted either one of them cared at the moment. He never actually realized how much he had truly desirable his best friend was until just a moment ago. Soft silver hair bushing his bare skin and beautiful sea colored eyes gazing into his own. Riku really was the most gorgeous thing in creation and he had looked past it so many times. He wasn't in love, not yet. But this was good enough. To be able to have Riku so close without demands and expectations, Sora was happy and willing to go through with this now. His hands traveled the length of Riku's half naked form feeling the smoothness of porcelain skin and toned muscles beneath his fingertips. He felt the blond shudder and arms grasp his waist. They shoved insistently at him until he was rolled onto his back once again. Competition. He missed that as well. Riku's lips sucked his neck and ground their hips together. Sora's head tilted back as he gasped and he drug his nails down Riku's back. The boy hissed and moaned at the pleasurable pain. Sora blinked a second in realization and lifted his head to bite into the blondes shoulder. It earned him a cry out and Riku's grip loosened. Sora pushed Riku off and pinned his wrists to the bed ravaging his neck. He made sure it left a burning red bruise before moving further down to his nipples. His teeth grazed them while his hand lowered to grope Riku roughly. Sora tried to maintain control of the situation but the blond had gotten his wrists loose and pushed himself up. He grabbed Sora's hair and pulled his head back roughly exposing his neck. He sunk his pearl white teeth into the tanned skin of Sora's collarbone. Sora felt a cry rise in his throat. It hurt he admitted but he never thought it would feel that good at the same time. Riku's tongue soothed the sting from it and his hand pushed beneath the waistband of Sora's pants. Sora clung to the older boy as that hand began to stroke him to hardness. He panted and moaned into Riku's ears while trailing his nails along the same crooked trails in his back. Sora left himself to defeat for now when Riku laid him on his back once again.

Riku pulled Sora's jeans off and tossed them carelessly at the wall. He discarded his boxers as well and slid between Sora's legs so that skin made contact with skin. They both moaned and shuddered against each other until Sora bucked his hips to create friction. This was technically his first time and that made him impatient to what ever came next. Riku held his hips down and licked the bruise on his collarbone. As he did, his hand wondered to his nightstand and pulled at the drawer. He felt around for a bit before grabbing a bottle and slamming the drawer. He kissed Sora deeply while opening and pouring it on his hand. Sora groaned when he felt a finger probing at his entrance. He tried to pull away from the alien feeling but Riku held him still, sucking on his nipples and biting them a little. Sora's groans of discomfort turned into a hiss of pain. He cringed as two fingers were pushed into them. He cried out as they dug deeper but Riku silenced him with a kiss. He hooked his fingers pressing against the patch of nerves deep inside the brunette. Sora pulled away from Riku and screamed as white-hot pleasure shot up his spine. Riku continued to stretch the boy and shuddered every time Sora clawed his skin. He had added a third without Sora's notice and slipped in and out hitting Sora's sweet spot every now and then. Sora had had enough; he pulled at Riku's wrist so that those fingers slid out of him. He sighed and panted looking up at Riku with lusting half-lidded eyes.

"More!" Sora whispered.

Riku smirked and pressed a bruising kiss onto Sora's mouth. Coating himself with the oil, Riku pulled the brunette's legs to his shoulders and pushed into Sora slowly until he was to the hilt. Sora cringed and clawed at the blonde's arms. Even though his body was use to this treatment, it felt very odd to actually have it happening to him instead of Aros. Riku waited for Sora to get use him being inside before drawing out slowly and thrusting back in. Sora arched against Riku's thrust and felt his body quake in newfound pleasure. As Riku thrust into him, Sora bit his lip as his mind caved under the experience and he could no longer think about how wrong this was or how hurt Kairi would be if she ever found out. All that filled his head was how good this all felt and how much he wanted this and god he wanted this badly. Pulled his legs further apart to allow Riku in further and pulled the blonde to him. Riku rolled his hips to hit his sweet spot pulling a scream from Sora's throat. Sora's legs tightened around his waist pulling him in deep. His nails bit into Riku's back leaving bloodier trails than ever before; Riku's moans and gasp let him know that he didn't mind it.

Between his gasps and screams, Sora felt his stomach tightening and clung to Riku in desperation. "Harder!"

Riku complied thrusting into his lover as hard as he could manage. Sora's strangled cries fueled his lust and he took hold of Sora's erection pumping it in time with his hard thrusts. Sora tossed his head back and wrapped his fists in the sheets so he would not cause further injury to Riku's back. Riku watched the whole time eyes open. Every motion Sora made, every facial expression, every sound and scent, all of it was committed to Riku's memory. Then he felt Sora's inner walls tighten around him and Sora's body lifted off the bed as he arched with a strangled cry. Sora's orgasm rippled through his body just beneath his skin and out sheer impulse he bit into Riku's shoulder catching the blonde off-guard. This made Riku's eye squeeze shut as his own orgasm burst from his body. They held each other ridding out what was left of their climax and shuddering in the aftermath.

Once they calmed, Riku pulled out of Sora and looked down at the mess on his chest and Sora's stomach. Sora followed his gaze and lifted himself up slightly. Surprising Riku more, the brunette's tongue darted from his mouth to lick the mess from Riku's chest. He cleaned the mess thoroughly with his own mouth causing Riku to shudder from the actions. When he was done he kissed Riku fully and gave him the taste of himself on the blondes tongue. He pulled away and lay back in exhaustion. Riku lay next to him and wrapped his arms around him.

"Sora?"

"Hmm?"

"About your anti-form…"

Sora's gaze lowered. "What about him?"

"Him?"

"Yes, what about him?"

"I wanted to know, if you were in control of it yet. If…well if it was still a problem."

"No, no problem, but I'm not in control of him. We've come to a kind of agreement. I didn't like it at first but now I'm okay with it. Roxas is okay with it too. I think, I know what was wrong and I was just too stubborn to admit it."

"And what was that?"

"I was…I was just too stubborn and stupid to admit that it was really you I wanted to be with, Riku."

Riku smile and hugged Sora against him. Sora melted into the warmth and he rested his head on the blonde's chest twirling a lock of platinum hair between his fingers.

"I love you, Sora. More than you know."

A small smile graced Sora's lips but it faded when he felt his heart sink again. It happened every time Riku said those words. He hid his face in Riku's chest and allowed the silent moment to pass between them. Aros was right, this was the way it should be even though it still felt new to him. Riku cared deeply enough to be able to let him be happy in finding his own way. So why did he feel so empty right now?

Konoko: sorry for the long wait on this one. Writers block issues I am at my dad's house and had to take my time considering that I had to share the computer with my sisters and stepmom. GRRR! Luckily I'll be home before the weekend so it'll all be good. I won't have much time to work on this once college starts for me though. I start my first year of college on August 21. I'm not sure I should be thrilled or chilled. Anyway, I'll do my best to continue this story because I already know how I want it to end and that I have an idea for a sequel. So if people like it enough, every one will get a sequel. isn't that great.