I am Sasuke Uchiha, last heir of my glorious clan. I'm a wicked, bastard brat but I am sooo cute. AND I'M THE BEST, THE MOST TALENTED NINJA IN THE WORLD, MWAHAHAHAHAHA! As a matter of fact, I've just invented a new espionage technique that just can't fail. I am a goddamned Genius. Under the supervision of my sensei, Orochimaru, I created the fantastic "Supreme Technique of the Spiritual Exchange with the Object you Chose no Jutsu". And now is finally time to try it. Fisrt off, you choose who to stalk. For example, let's say I want to see what my almighty sensei Orochimaru-sama does during the hours he spends in the bathroom in the evening. Then I choose the object that would give you the perfect point of view of the room. I picked the toothbrush. But I could have chosen anything, from the bath tub to, you won't believe your ears, the TOILET SEAT! (Now, I said something!). And finally: just make the 25 hand seals needed for the transformation, and I'm not telling you about them, as they are so difficult that only a few Chosen Ones can memorize and understand them (if you didn't notice I'm one of those Chosen Ones). Obviously my sensei doesn't know I'm spying on him, because if he knew the result would be clearly altered.
I'm in the bathroom. The time has come. I left some clone of mine with Kabuto. They're watching the tv. I look for Orochimaru-sama's toothbrush. I think is the light pink snake shaped one. I DO the technique and...
Kabuto stared at the idiotic smile on Sasuke's face. He had a really empty look. Every now and then he said something like "EEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEe" while making an extremely cute smile. But Kabuto couldn't hug him and yell "CUTE!", like he wished to do, for Orochimaru-sama was sitting on the couch with them. The youngster, being the arse licker servant he is, couldn't just wreck the image he had in his master's eyes. He would have been kicked out, that was sure.
After Sasuke's 100th "EEEeeeeeeEEEeee" Orochimaru let go his popcorn and he threw himself over his poor future container. Kabut looked away, he didn't want to see the horrible wounds that the young Uchiha would have in a short while. As he didn't hear a thing he turned, just in time to see Orochimaru-sama that, oblivious of any dignity, was hugging Sasuke, who kept saying "EEEeeeeeEEEe" and making cute faces. After having grinded Sasuke he yelled "CUTE!", and after that he came back to his usual dark attitude.
Sasuke was lying on the bathroom's floor, holding Orochimaru-sensei's toothbrush in his rigid fingers.
"EUREKA! IT WORKS! IT WORKS!" cried the Toothbrush. The experiment was a success. Sasuke had taken the toothbrush's place. The technique allowed the young ninja to see and hear everything. He could talk too, and he could use all his five senses. His only problem was moving. He hadn't thought about that at all. Anyway, someone would have picked him sooner or later. But there was a new problem. Now that the toothbrush spirit was in his body (and as we all know usually toothbrushes aren't living creatures) how the HECK would he be able to get his butt somewhere else! Luckily, or unluckily, the newly chosen cleaning man enters the scene. Some Perfindo Kuroyama guy (of unknown origin -supposedely Japanese - Italian). He found the poor little soulless Sasuke's body on the floor, picked him up and placed him in the garbage can. After that he put the toothbrush in its place and he went away, along with the poor little Uchiha body.
"Ok Kabuto, it's time to get ready for the night. Where are my cucumbers slices?" asked powerful Orochimaru.
"I put them on the kitchen table, in your favourite bowl..."
Orochimaru thanked Kabuto for the information and reached the place, just in time to see something he really didn't wish to see.
Sasuke's clone had eaten HIS cucumber slices and, just to help it in, he was gnawing HIS bowl!
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! PUT THAT BOWL DOW..."
"EEEeeeeEE" said the clone with a super cute super idiot face.
"YOU'RE CUTE!" squeeled the King of Terror (not Diabolik, Orochimaru) jumped on him. He got a hold of himself, and decided to start the bathroom stuff without his cucumber slices. What a pity.
Sasuke heard the door opening. Orochimaru looked around him suspiciously, and then locked the door with a triple lock. He looked at the mirror with a satisfied smile.
"You're sexy as usual, Orochimaru. Oh, don't make me blush, Orochimaru! Aw, but it's true! Kukukukuku you naughty boy!"
Little Uchiha was shocked at the sight of his sensei talking to himself. He was saying such stupid things! He watched him as he combed his hair carefully, noting to himself what splendid hair he had. The Terror of Konoha opened the cabinet and he took out a pink peep. A cute little duck, it was...
"Good evening, miss Lulù! How are you today? Will you please keep me company during my bath?"
Sasuke was Scared (or better Scarred). It just couldn't be true. Konoha was terrorized by such a useless man? "After all he is a great warrior. And he is my sensei too...maybe I should start behaving like him..."
Orochimaru went out of the bath tub after an hour and a half, he slipped into his bautiful black and flourishing pink kimono and got dressed. He used four different facial creams and after that he told the mirror: "Don't you think that Sasuke too should use these creams? I'd like my future container to have the same smooth skin I have! Oh, you're so right."
The toothbrush, that was now the last Uchiha heir, would have jumped back if he could. And after that, he felt someone's grip on him. The horrible sensation of toothpaste being spread over his head would have haunted Sasuke in each and every future nightmare of his. And then, the unrepairable. He felt like Orochimaru-sama was brushing his teeth with his hair and that he was licking his face with that terrible tongue of his. Young Uchiha's nightmare would have a lot of material to work on. Finally he got washed and put back to his place, next to his own toothbrush. A nightmare. A night full of them night was looming.