Thanks to those who are still reading. Judging from the response from chapter three, I take it you guys didn't like it !LOL. Hopefully you'll like this one a little better. As always please read and review, it's the only way I have a clue to what you guys think !
Chapter Four- Angels
Dean's eyes flickered open slowly.
Man did his back hurt. Nope, his head hurt worse than his back. Nope wrong again, his chest hurt more than any of those previously thought places.
Clicking the knots out of his neck, he was nearly taken back when he saw where he was. The mist of sleep faded from his eyes, allowing him to see the cruelty of the situation in all its horrendous glory.
Sam was still in the exact same position he'd left him last night.
Dean cursed himself for falling asleep at his brother's bed side, but truth was he was beyond tired. If his baby brother didn't have as many ugly tubes and wires coming out of him, Dean probably would have bumped him over and slept beside him. Instead he'd had to stay sitting on the world's most uncomfortable plastic chair, and was hunched over the bed staring at Sam.
….Why wasn't Sam waking up…? Dean wondered to himself. He'd talked himself into confusion last night, talking about anything, and everything that came to his over medicated brain, but he avoided certain topics. Topics on their god forsaken father and on the crash.
Dean wasn't quite ready for those conversations yet. He wasn't sure if he ever would be.
Dean looked down at his hand and found that it still covered Sam's; he picked it and gave it a squeeze.
"Morning sunshine…" Dean said with a smile as he eased his body out of the chair and slowly sat on Sam's bed. "You're looking much better today; I swear you're getting some colour back in your face…"
Dean was lying. Sam looked no better than he had done yesterday or the day before that. Truth was, Dean was running out of things to say. Ok, that wasn't exactly true either. Dean had plenty to say. So many things that needed to be said to Sam. So many things he needed to tell his brother, but just didn't know how to.
Simple words like, 'I love you' and 'I miss you', always danced around Dean's head, the words, 'I need you Sam', always got as far as his lips but the words never went further. It was trained habit, disguising emotion and vulnerability with humour and laughter, for god sakes, even the freaking demon who had done this to their family had known.
Dean ran a hand through his own brown hair, as he studied his brother's perfectly still face.
God he'd give anything right now just to see his brother open his eyes, anything.
Dean tried to shove the kind Dr. Kessin's words out of his mind. Yeah he knew what a coma was; it meant that Sam was asleep. Well that's what he would keep telling himself, his brother wasn't in some over technical explanation the doctor had used. He was sleeping and he would wake up. All people woke up, and Sam would be no different.
……Why won't you wake up…? Come on Sam, you've had your fun; you've scared the hell out of me. I realise now that you can scare me, and yes, ok I do need you and I do love you, possibly I will allow you to have a couple more Vanilla Latte's before I call you Francis again, but god child, please wake up……
Dean thought to himself, as he felt angry tears welling up in his eyes.
"You're gonna make me do this the hard way, aren't you Thelma..?" Dean said staring at Sam, his brother just a limp form, the image being engraved into his head.
"You're gonna make me do the whole chick thing, where I tell you all my undying secrets, and confess my true feelings for you…?" Dean said patting his brother's hand playfully, " You're not fooling me Sammy boy, oh no, I've been your big brother too long, I know when you're pulling games, and you're pulling games right now…"
Dean stared at the face that never flinched; he stared at the face that breathed in rhythm with that stupid plastic tube coming out of Sam's mouth. God, Dean wanted to pull that thing out and chuck it away.
"Sam…." Dean said feeling the tears burn his eyes now, as his voice dropped to nothing but a whisper, "You're pulling games right..?"
Dean stood up from the hospital bed, and walked around the room, geeze that hurt more than he'd expected. The elder hunter looked around for his new trusty stead, and found that his wheelchair was against the wall. That wall seemed too far away for Dean to walk to right now, so he went to his other trusty stead, the one trapped in this god forsaken coma, his partner in crime; his brother.
"I'm gonna give you five minutes Sam, to wake up…" Dean threatened in a hopeful tone, trying to keep his nerves steady, and inject some hardness into his tone. He needed Sam to snap out of this, the longer he remained like this, the more danger Sam was…
...Stop it Dean…….. Dean shouted at himself inwardly…….. Stop thinking like that. He's sleeping, he won't die, he's not going anywhere, that's what you're here for, to make sure nothing happens….
"If you don't wake up by then Sam…" Dean said feeling the tears already beginning to fall, "I'll never speak to you again, I swear to god I mean that, Sam if you leave me here, if you stay like this, I will hate you for the rest of my life !"
Dean sunk onto the bed, unable to stop the tears falling down his face.
"Is this what you wanted…?" Dean shouted at Sam, "This, everything coming to a stop. What were you thinking you stupid son-of-a-bitch!" Dean bitterly snapped, "How dare you get out the car, you know Sam, you KNOW, you don't move after a car crash, you stay still…!"
"I hate you…" Dean whispered, letting go of Sam's hand, and covering his face with his own shaking hands, "I hate you for leaving me here on the outside, how can you do this...? If you love me, please…"
Dean stared anxiously at Sam, his anger growing rapidly as his younger brother stayed rigid, never moving, and never flinching. Just perfectly still. Lifeless.
Dead.
This was Dean's punishment.
Left to stare at Sam's lifeless form for the rest of his life. He knew with his father gone, Sam was all he had. He wouldn't stray from his brother's side, and as long as Sam remained trapped in some unconscious merry-go-round, Dean would be beside him.
Even the evil bastard of the demon had known how empty Dean's life would be without his father, or brother. More tears burned at Dean's eyes, and spilled helplessly down his checks, everything he'd pent up inside since he'd regained consciousness yesterday burrowed out of him like an illness. His family didn't need him. Dean knew it, they knew it. His brother was stronger, tougher in ways that Dean couldn't imagine. Truth was, he needed them, wanted them around much more than what they needed him.
The truth was bitter, and it made his heart hurt.
His father had left him, not even caring whether Sam died.
Suddenly a horrid thought flashed across Dean's mind, and he instantly felt a sob escape his lips as he lowered his head down on Sam's chest. The sobs broke across the elder brother's body.
Maybe that was why their father had left. Maybe he had expected Sam to die.
John Winchester was no prize father, but Dean was sure he loved them. Maybe the old man couldn't stick around and watch his baby boy just die.
Dean felt his hands hold onto Sam's shoulders and pull him slightly closer to him, embracing him in a hug. God, Sam felt so cold.
"I didn't mean it…" Dean whispered in Sam's ear; as he rested his head against his brother's, "Please Sam, I'm sorry. I don't hate you. I don't…"
Dean sighed heavily and gently placed Sam back down on the bed. He sat uncomfortably on the bed and lent close to Sam's face.
"Do you remember when you were little…?" Dean said quietly, "You kept having this nightmare about this thing in the closest, trying to pull you from your bed...?" Dean said as he rested his head against Sam's chest, listening to the mechanical pull of the machines, but his brother's heart pumping steadily in his chest.
"You'd come and hide in my bed…" Dean said with a smile, "You must have been about nine…?"
"It was the first time either of us had had our own rooms in ages..." Dean said with a flicker of a smile, "I remember I came home from school completely freaked out, I'd gone to pick you up from school and you weren't there..."
"I ran home, knowing that dad would kill me, but knowing that I needed him to help me find you..." Dean said with a smile, "What did I find when I got back to the house..? You were upstairs dragging your mattress into my room…"
Dean laughed at the memory, "I came so close to knocking you clean down the stairs Sam, I was so angry at you for just taking off from school, only to come home and find you rearranging the furniture…"
"I asked you what you were doing..." Dean said with a chuckle, his hand now stroking Sam's hair absently, "Do you remember what you said...?"
Dean paused and waited for Sam to open his eyes and finish the conversation. That way they could both laugh at the memory together, like they were supposed to. Sam didn't open his eyes, causing Dean's heart to sink as fresh tears sprung to his eyes.
"You said, that nothing bad would happen, if you stayed with me..." Dean said slowly picking his head off his brother's chest again, and looking at Sam's face, "That the monster wouldn't come if I was there..."
"Sammy, I promise I won't let this demon get you..." Dean whispered as tears trickled down his face, "If that's why you won't wake up, because you're scared of what's gonna happen, then don't be scared. I'm here; I'm not going anywhere..." Dean promised sincerely, "Just come on dude, I'm falling apart here, I need something from you, anything, give me some hope Sam..."
Dean whispered, "Find a way to give me a sign baby brother..."
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John Winchester picked up the first aid kit and loaded it securely, back into the newly restored 1967 Chevy Impala. God, the car looked great.
They were outside of the musty old motel that John was staying in.
"Dean's going to be real impressed at seeing her back to her new found glory..." John said with a smile, as he grinned over at his old friend Bobby that stood beside him. "Even got rid of the rust..."
Bobby looked at John awkwardly, "Maybe you ought to go see the boys and give the keys to Dean..."
"I can't…" John said simply, as he slammed the trunk shut and tossed the keys to Bobby, "You know I can't go to them yet..."
"Johnny, your boys need you..." Bobby said trying to reason with the ex-marine. "Sammy, he needs you. The boys still in...-"
"I know what he's in Bobby…" John muttered, "I also know my boys, and I know they'll be fine. Now Dean's getting back on his feet, he'll take care of Sam..."
"And if Sam dies...?" Bobby bitterly snapped, "Because as much as you dismiss the idea John, it can happen. The boy is hanging…-"
"Don't you say that...!" John shouted angrily as they stood in the darkened sky, "Don't you ever say that..!"
"Well somebody has to..." Bobby said never backing off from John, "That child could die, and where would his father be..? Off ghost hunting..!"
"If I go to my boys, no..." John said abruptly, turning away angrily, "I know what I'm doing..."
"Is that what you're going to tell Dean..?" Bobby muttered, as he walked away from the back of the Impala, "When he's left with nobody. He's a bright boy Johnny; you don't think he's figured out that you've bailed on the both of them..?"
"I haven't bailed on my children..." John said hotly, "They are safe where they are. They are coming first from now on, but first I got one small thing to take care of..."
"The demon..?" Bobby laughed, "Johnny that's not exactly a small thing..."
"It's not the demon..." John finally admitted, scrubbing his face in frustration, "It's something else..."
Bobby looked questionably at John, "You'd tell me if you'd found something out about that son-of-a-bitch..?"
"Just take the car and this bag and drop it off at the hospital..." John said pointedly, "I'll be gone before you get back..."
Sighing, Bobby climbed into the Impala and slammed the door shut, causing John to roll his eyes. "Take it easy with the car..."
"Anything you want me to tell Dean...?" Bobby tempted the father.
"Yeah, don't talk to either of them..." John said simply, "I don't want them to know you're around here either..."
"You're one stubborn bastard Johnny..." Bobby said starting the engine to the Impala, "I just hope you know what you're doing. Those boys will never forgive you for leaving them; Dean especially..."
"I'll make him understand..." John said simply. He truly believed that he could win Dean's trust back and Sam's for that matter. He'd start on it as soon as he saw his sons again.
Watching as Bobby drove the Impala away; the elder hunter opened his motel room door and walked in. It was time to start packing.
As he picked up his duffle bag, reaching for his toiletry kit, the man started to make a mental list of things he had to do. He had to go get his truck from the warehouse, wire money into an account for the boys and then go take care of business. John Winchester business.
Sighing, he stood up straight and walked over to the dresser, and froze.
A wisp of swirling white lights hovered in front of him, slowly forming a beautiful, innocent silhouette. Dressed all in white, the face smiling and relaxed as it always was.
Its hand reached forward and gently cupped the elder hunters face, staring into the man's hazel eyes.
"Take care of Dean for me dad..." The voice said gently, free of pain, filled with release.
John stood shaking furiously on the spot, his face feeling the warmth of his son's touch, "Sam...?"
"Take care of yourself..." Sam whispered, "Take care of each other..."
"Sammy wait...!" John begged, as his hand tried to reach out for his child. His hands simply passed through Sam's spirit.
"Bye dad…" Sam whispered.
Just as the beautiful swirl of white lights had appeared, they slowly disappeared in the same circular motion.
John Winchester grabbed his jacket and like a mad man, ran straight for the motel door...
xxxxXXXXxxxx
Dean Winchester stirred in his sleep, a warm hand gently touching his cheek and the top of his head causing him to awake from the cosy sleep he'd fallen into. He'd know that clumsy touch anyway.
"Sam...?" Dean said in a sleep filled voice as he slowly raised his head and saw Sam standing before him. A smile broke across Dean's face.
"Dude, where did you get all the white clothes...-"Dean's voice slowly trailed off.
Dean looked around where he was and looked straight at the figure that still lay hooked to all the machines and ventilator. Sam was still in a coma, lying perfectly still. Unmoving.
Dean slowly turned to the person standing on his right, and felt the colour drain from his face.
"Oh god no..." Dean whispered as he saw the swirls of light continuing to surround Sam's spirit.
"See you around Dean, just not too soon ok...?" Sam whispered to his brother as Dean franticallyscrambled to his feet.
The elder hunter ran for his brother's hospital door, throwing it open in one swift move. The pain and agony in his own body he had felt just a few hours ago vanished, as the naked truth of what was happening dawned on him.
"HELP...!" Dean shouted his eyes desperately moving back and forth frantically between the spirit that was Sam, and the comatose little brother that lay on the bed.
"This can't be happening..." Dean whispered, his body shaking furiously as he saw a nurse and Dr. Kessin hurrying towards him.
"It's ok Dean..." Sam said, startling his elder brother, who was shaking furiously. Dean saw the spirit and ran to the opposite side of the room.
"Get back in your body you selfish bastard...!" Dean shouted at Sam, "If you give one shit about me Sam, you better not be doing what I think you're doing..."
"I can't hang on..." Sam said his voice getting weaker, his spirit becoming more transparent. "Thank you Dean, for eve...-"
"Shut-up..." Dean hissed and pointed to the coma victim on the bed, "Get back in there, or I swear to..-" Dean demanded, rage on his face clear.
He couldn't believe that his brother had come to him, as a frigging spirit, what, waking up and just talking to him was too easy for Sam now..?
Dean was so angry, so angry, that Sam could even think of dying now and leaving him.
Sam wasn't going to die, this was just Sam trapped in limbo, and Dean would be more than willing to kick his skinny ass back into his body. If only Dean had his shot gun or a boot.
"I can't hold on anymore..." Sam whispered as the swirls of white lights begun to overtake his body, "I love you Dean, you'll never be on your own. I'll always watch over you..."
Dean stood rigid, as the spirit vanished from his eyes, the lights, filled with purity and innocence removed without the elder brother ever saying anything back to the boy.
"Sam...?" Dean whispered, as he looked at the space his little brother's spirit had been in seconds ago.
Dean stood numbly, not even feeling himself being moved quite forcefully out of the way by two male nurses. The sound, everything, had drained away from his mind. The only thing he could hear was the echo of the promise his baby brother had made to him seconds before he'd vanished.
……..I'll always watch over you...
Reality begun to hammer it's way into Dean's brain, as the older brother turned slowly towards the scene taking place around his baby brother's bed.
He heard no voices, no talking, although the elder hunter knew that rapid shouting was taking place.
All Dean Winchester could hear was the wail of the heart monitor. A low, loud consistent cry.
Sam Winchester had flat lined...
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Ermm, only one phrase should come to mind…..uh-oh….. Don't forget to review please !