Sorry for the delay in updating, having problems with the site and the file I saved this story on.

Thanks to all those that sent me a review, it's always appreciated as you know.

Thanks for reading and sticking by this story. I know it lacks in action and it's a bit angsty but there is a reason to it, I'm building up to the story that is following this one.

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Chapter 7- Silent Goodbyes

"Thank you…" Dean whispered, burying his head against Sam's chest, as he felt a heavy, tired hand touch the back of his head. "Thank-you, thank-you…."

"Hi..." Sam whispered, in a voice so small, that Dean had to take a deep breath in and hold it, to stem the sobs of uncontrollable happiness that threatened to break out again. Dean looked at Sam; he could barely believe his eyes.

Sam still looked terrible, but Dean didn't care. He could fix the way Sam looked. He could fix anything; do anything now he had Sam back. Dean reached up shakily and stroked the hair off his brother's forehead. He felt Sam's tired hand brush his cheek.

"You're... hurt…" Sam mumbled, in a tired voice, his heavy eyes feeling like bricks were on the tips pulling them closed.

"Me..?" Dean said, spluttering with a laugh and a sob, "Dude, I'm fine…"

"Are you sure…….. you're…..ok….?" Sam whispered, as he could feel sleep pulling him into that warm safe land again.

Dean frantically and quite roughly played with Sam's hair to keep him awake, the idea of losing Sam to anything, even if it was sleep didn't bare thinking about.

"Sammy…?" Dean whispered, gently taking Sam's bloody hand in his, and holding it tightly, "I've missed you so much…"

"Me…..too….." Sam said, feeling his eyes close, "Night…."

"Stay, just a little longer, come on Sammy, just a couple more minutes…" Dean begged, "You've been sleeping for days on end here little man, I need some human company other than your snoring…"

"I don't…….snore….." Sam said, his voice laboured and filled with sleep, "I'm…..so…..tired…."

Dean felt tears welling up in his eyes again, as he watched as Sam's hand went slack in his for the second time in the last few days. Dean knew he was asleep, but the elder hunter realised that it would be a very long time, before he would ever let Sam fall asleep without him waking the younger boy up just to check to see if he was alive.

After all, Dean knew what death looked like, and as much as he believed in the supernatural, there were just something's that didn't make sense. This was one of them. But Dean didn't care about the how or the why Sam had been given back to him; all Dean knew was that he'd never do anything to lose Sam again. Ever.

It was then, that Dean felt the strange stillness in the room.

Dean swallowed, and remembered the medical staffs that were still inside the room.

Dean remembered Dr. Kessin was still in the room.

Slowly Dean turned and found the good doctor staring in a stunned, Polaroid kind of way.

"It's a miracle…" Dean whispered, to the doctor, not really knowing what else to say. Even his fast, wise cracking mouth couldn't find a plausible enough line to give to the situation that had just taken place.

"Dean…" Dr. Kessin finally stammered out, " We're gonna take Sam down for some tests, just to make sure that everything is still in working order…"

"Fine..." Dean said, relieved that the doctor had strangely bought the whole miracle storyline, "I'll come with you…"

"You wait here…" Dr. Kessin said, his eyes never ever leaving the sleeping Sam.

"No…." Dean said bluntly, his stubborn big brother attitude, quickly taking president over the emotionally ragged one.

"It's a restricted area, Dean…" Dr. Kessin said as he nodded for two nurses to start the proceedings.

"Then I suggest you unrestrict it…" Dean said, with a point in his tone. He slowly stood from Sam's bed, blocking the nurse's path to Sam "He's not going anywhere, not without me…"

"Dean, I can appreciate that you're confused…" Dr. Kessin said in a gentle tone.

"Don't patronise me…!" Dean snapped, "You're not taking my brother anywhere, not now, not ever…"

"Your brother has been dead for over forty-five minutes…" Dr Kessin spat, his own emotions at the confusing situation quickly gathering to the surface, "He's had no oxygen to the brain within that time. Sam could have brain damage…"

"He doesn't…" Dean barked, as he folded his arms across his chest, feeling his own stitches pull in the movement.

"We have to be sure, we have to run tests.." Dr Kessin said trying to regain his composure, "I can't explain what just happened and I need to know what did happen…"

"Sam, is not one of your lab rats…" Dean bitterly barked, "Now just leave him alone, your precious tests can at least wait until tomorrow…"

"Dee….." Came Sam's tried voice from the bed.

Dean was back by his brother's side before Sam had even finished speaking. Dean watched his brother force his tired hazel eyes open and look at Dean. Dean felt nothing but immense pride for Sam's strength and resilience.

"Hi Sammy…" Dean said with a grin, "Too much noise in here..?" Dean asked as he shot the good Dr. Kessin an annoyed look.

"What…..is….going….on..?" Sam asked his voice tired and laboured.

"We need to run some tests on you Sam…" Dr Kessin said before Dean could interject, "You've been away in dreamland for a little while; we just want to make sure everything is working ok…"

Dr Kessin saw the glazed look in Sam's tired eyes.

"I'm Dr. Kessin; I've been your doctor since you were admitted in…" Dr Kessin explained, "It won't take too long, I promise. We just need to make sure you're ok..."

"I already told you no…" Dean muttered, to the doctor, as he lowered his head down next to Sam's. "Don't worry ok; I won't let them come near you…"

"It's….ok…" Sam said with a sleep filled voice, "You… should….get….some….tests…. done …Dean…"

Dean gave Sam a worried look; it was clearly obvious that Sam had misunderstood what Dr. Kessin had told him.

"Sammy, it's not me who needs the tests, it's you…" Dean explained as he noticed Sam's glazed look in his eyes.

Reluctantly, Dean turned to the doctor.

"Can't the tests wait until later, what's the difference if he has them in a few hours..?" Dean asked with a shrug, "The kids been through a lot, I don't think poking him and taking pictures with a big old camera are going to help him…"

"If there is a problem with Sam, delaying treatment could only makes things worse for him…" Dr Kessin said now standing my Sam's bed, "Sam, we're going to take you down now, ok..?"

Sam nodded sleepily, as the nurses walked around the still stubborn Dean and snapped the brakes off Sam's bed.

"Sam, tell them no…" Dean begged as he stood over his brother, "You can't go, you can't leave…."

Sam looked into Dean's hazel eyes, and managed a tired smile, his hand moving near Dean's face which was once again on his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere…"Sam said with a sigh, his eyelids taking him back to the world of darkness. " I'm not ever going anywhere, Dee…"

Reluctantly, Dean tenderly reached down and kissed Sam on the forehead. The elder brother waited for a smart assed remark from Sam, the situation would have normally called for one; but this was no normal situation. Dean was beginning to realise that.

Dean watched as the bed was taken away from the room. He felt his body collapse in a heap back into the maternity chair that had brought up to him the night before. He hadn't realised exactly how exhausted he really was. He also had begun to realise how confused he actually was.

Dean looked at the clock in the room, it was almost 6pm. In the space of just over an hour, Dean 'Turner' Winchester had experienced the two most draining emotions known to man.

Grief and illation.

His little brother was dead. His Sam had been dead. And now he was alive..?

That didn't make any sense. At least not to Dean. Dean knew that once dead, you stayed dead, at least that was what he'd been thought.

Dean closed his eyes and heaved in a sigh; this whole situation just didn't make sense. Sam coming to him as a spirit, an angel as it might be, telling him his final thoughts and saying goodbye. That had been pretty final. That had been Sam's swan song to say the least. The final goodbye.

And yet Sammy was now in a different part of the hospital getting his head examined and Dean found himself alone. Again. The thought was strangling Dean. If Sam had stayed dead, if he had, Dean had no idea what he would have done, how he would have coped.

That forty-five minutes his brother had been dead; Dean shuddered from his core. It was the most gut wrenching horrendous feeling Dean had ever experienced. He needed Sam, more than ever. He need his brother's strength and open mindedness, he needed Sam's stubborn single minded attitude.

The elder hunter also needed his father. He needed his father right now, more than he could express. It ached him inside to know that his father wasn't here, to know that their father hadn't even been here when his child had died.

Now Sam was alive, and in time with Dean's help will be back to his normal, little brother self, and their father would never know that his youngest son had been dead for over forty minutes. The emptiness that filled Dean's stomach made him want to hurl.

Dean sucked in a breath, man he already missed Sam. Even if he was unconscious, he was still here with him, giving Dean the reassurance that he wasn't as useless as he felt.

That Dean was needed by someone, anyone, even if that person was Sam.

Dean could feel sleep pulling at him, the drain of the day inviting him back to the folds of comforting darkness. He'd take a little nap and await the arrival of Sam…..

xxxxXXXXxxxx

John Winchester stood rigid on the spot. He couldn't comprehend what had just happened, nor did he want to. Sam was alive. That was all that mattered.

However, the elder Winchester wasn't stupid. He'd been a hunter too long, and was too good at it to be stupid enough to assume that a miracle had taken place.

He'd seen that room, and within seconds the elder hunter had known what had taken place.

Sam had been sent back.

Not by good. Good would have allowed his son to go straight to the angels.

Sam was sent back down cruelly by evil.

This meant that evil had to have a reason, and a damn good one at that. A demon with that much power to send a good angel back to its body, to bring the dead back to life; that, took power.

John found his feet moving, his eyes tearing away from his boys in the room together, safe and in one piece. He had to get moving, he had to get his boys safe. He knew whatever had sent Sam back to them, would come again for his child, perhaps both of them.

John knew what he had to do. It broke his heart having to leave his crumpled eldest son in that horrible room all alone, but he was doing the right thing.

He could handle Dean and Sam hating him. That he could handle, it may take them a very long time to forgive him, but he could work on the whole forgiveness thing later. At least his children would be alive. He couldn't work on that part of their relationship if his kids were six feet under.

John closed his eyes and pushed open the hospital door. He stood in the parking lot of the hospital. He sucked in his breath, and started to walk.

He prayed that his kids would understand.

He hoped that they would know why he was doing it. He hated not being able to see Sam, to tell his son that none of this was Sam's fault. He hated not being able to tell Dean that everything the demon had told him was a load of bull shit. Dean was needed, Dean was loved.

Dean was the glue of this family. Without him, there would be no Winchester's.

John knew he should tell Dean, but he couldn't, not yet. But he would. He'd make sure he'd tell both kids exactly how he felt when they were reunited. He'd give them both everything they'd always dreamed about. He'd give Dean, his precious, older faithful son; the one who took over the role as the family man in the Winchester household, he'd give his Dean the one thing Dean had craved the most- his family.

He'd find them a home, somewhere where they could be together, just the three of them. Somewhere where they could live together and be a family and do what families usually do, like have dinner together, argue about what to watch on television, share family occasions together. A place where Dean would feel safe and secure, a place where Dean could watch over Sam and John, the two most precious people in his eldest son's life.

Dean would have it all. John would make sure of that.

John also knew he had to give Sam what he craved more than anything- a normal life.

The idea of Sam having his normal life still seemed bizarre to John. After all, Sam was gifted, was special- what normal life could he possibly lead that wouldn't walk him straight back down the path of the supernatural again..?

John wasn't sure, but he was sure in hell going to try and give Sam the chance to go back to college, a chance for Sam to be able to make a choice by himself and for once, John to play the supportive father.

The father knew something though; he knew that Sam wouldn't leave Dean. Not now. Not after everything they'd been through. So John knew that where ever he got this family a home, it would have to be near a decent college.

John sighed inwardly. Those ideas would be put into motion soon enough. He knew the balance between normal life and the supernatural could be achieved. After all, he knew of a family similar to his own who were doing it right now.

It was time John paid that family a visit. John needed their help.

Silently, the elder father glanced back at the hospital, desperately wanting to go back inside and be by the side of his sons. They were stronger as family. He knew that, they knew that, and yet it just couldn't work; for now.

John had realised that while stronger as family, they were also weaker together. There blind loyalty to each other, their love for one another, it clouded their judgment and made them all vulnerable. John included.

So it would have to be like this, no sad goodbyes, no see you laters, no take care of yourselves boys, no I love you both so much it's killing me to leave you both.

It was a silent goodbye, muttered in the heart of the father that kept walking away from the hospital.

John knew that this would be the final time that he'd ever do it. The next time he saw his sons they'd be reunited, together, always. That would be the time for the next chapter of their lives to restart. The Winchester men together, father and sons, sons and their father.

A smile mustered on the older man's face.

…Take care my boys...

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Dean Winchester watched the younger man sleep. His stomach knotted itself as he fought the urge to climb out of the chair and go and sit next to Sam on the bed. Dean knew if he did, he'd wake the boy up.

The test results had come back clear; Dean hadn't been surprised, he'd already told the doctor that Sam wouldn't have brain damage. Dr. Kessin had clearly been rattled by Sam's 'miracle' recovery and Dr. Wallis had been a little too enthusiastic for Dean's liking.

It made Dean uneasy that the doctors were uneasy.

If Dean had had his own way, he's demand that Sam be discharged and he'd take him somewhere far away from the hospital and look after him himself. But having been told by two different doctors the state of Sam's true condition, Dean had found himself reluctantly relying on the doctors to help Sam.

It made him feel even more useless and if it's one thing that Dean Winchester hated was sitting around feeling useless.

And if it was one thing Dean hated more than feeling useless, was feeling helpless.

Sam would need several months to get over the operation. Haemorrhages were nasty business, especially if removed from the brain. Headaches were to be taken incredibly seriously for the next few years.

Dean swallowed as he considered that thought, what about Sam's visions..? They always caused blinding; mind shattering pain for his younger brother...what kind of effect would the operation have on him now. Could Sam's visions actually kill him..?

The thought didn't bare thinking about for Dean.

Bumps to the head could cause a relapse, and send his brother back into a comatose state. Bumps to the head were a regular business in their line of work, along with mighty blood loss, lacerations to the body and any other painful commodity that evil could dream up.

Dean would be ok, he'd have the stitches removed in about a week, and he'd been warned about taking it easy and the pointed remark of fatigue. If truth be told, Dean would rather have his eyes gouged out by a local crow than take things easy, however the real truth about the damage inflicted on Dean was more emotional than physical.

What he'd seen today, what Dean had experienced today had scarred him for life.

Dean knew that eventually Sam would be strong again, stubborn again, and want his own life again. Dean was willing to give him anything; except the last one.

Dean was never letting Sam out of his sight, and if either of them was going to become angels and walk round scaring the crap out of the other, Dean had already decided by proxy vote that he'd be the one to go.

Dean could never go through that again, he wouldn't.

He'd take his own life, sacrifice his own life than feel that enormous, filthy lonely hole that had embedded itself in his body the second Sam had died.

Dean stared wistfully at Sam who slept peacefully in the bed.

Sam wouldn't agree with what Dean was thinking.

…..Then again, when did Sam ever agree with anything anyone ever told him..? Dean thought with a playful smile.

Sam would argue that Dean was stronger than him, more powerful than him, had a bigger lust for life and a more urgent 'get up and go' kind of attitude that Sam did not possess.

But Dean needed Sam, much more than Sam needed Dean. It was a fact. One that Dean didn't like. One that Dean would never admit too. One that Dean knew was true.

Sam was all Dean had now, his father wouldn't ever enter Dean's tortured mind again. Dean would make sure of that.

As the elder brother studied his sibling, a thought dawned on Dean's mind. He had no idea how he was going to explain this to Sam.

After all, how do you start a conversation which would result in you explaining that your God forsaken father had just bailed on you, not caring whether you lived or died.

Dean knew he was going to have to think of something to tell his younger brother, after all Sam would want to know where he was, and Dean sure as hell wasn't going to tell Sammy the truth. His brother needed to be peaceful and stress free, the information Dean had regarding their father was anything but stress free.

Dean shuddered at the horrid thought. Did John Winchester really care that little about his sons...? Dean would have bet everything he owned that the answer to his own question would be, of course not, dad loves us.

But actions spoke louder than words, and John Winchester wasn't here.

That left a sickening hole in the pit of Dean's stomach.

xxxxXXXXxxxx

Humm, think John did the right thing..? Do you think Dean should tell Sam the truth..? Thanks for reading and please don't forget to review :o) See you all next update xxx