Hiya ! Wow, thanks so much for the reviews guys, a big special thanks to all the new readers that have hopped aboard this crazy little ride, hope to continue to see you around in here. Ok firstly, from the reviews I can tell that the decision was split over what Dean did. wonders what to say All I can say is that Dean has his reasons for doing what he's doing.
Ok, so after this chapter there is only three chapters left. Yeah, that's right, this ride is almost to an end, but there will be a second story after this one; more information on it will be posted as we bring Forsaken to a close.
Once again, thank you all very much for all the reviews, I love responding to your comments (as long as I can). I hope you enjoy this chapter as well, just don't forget to review at the end…..
On with 'Reality Check'….
Chapter Nine- Reality Check
Dean Winchester rounded the corner from his brother's ward, and let out a loud sigh as soon as he deemed himself far enough from Sam.
This was harder than the elder brother had anticipated. It was only five minutes ago that Dean had been in the room telling Sam that dad was ok, and was probably catching up on sleep. Now Sam was expecting to see John, the next time Dean returned, and stupidly Dean had allowed Sam to believe that.
What a stupid idea that had been. How on earth could Dean deliver John Winchester to his younger brother, if he himself had no idea where their father had taken off to? Dean swallowed angrily as he sat down on a row of chairs, the tiredness beginning to creep up on him. He was so angry and yet at the exact same time, so terrified.
Dean would have told Sam anything if it helped keep his little brother well and fighting fit, but delivering what he had promised was something even Dean wasn't sure how he'd pull off.
The one hundred percent fit Dean would already have taken off and hunted down his father and dragged him back to the hospital by his hair, heck even the fifty percent fit Dean would have done that.
This Dean however was nowhere near even fifty percent fit, he was lucky to even scrape twenty this morning. There wasn't a part of his body that didn't hurt, the dull throb of the beginnings of a headache echoed in his mind; and so did his still unfulfilled promise to his little brother.
This just wasn't fair.
Dean knew his lie was going to get him into trouble, but truth be told Dean would have told Sam the sky had turned pink if it meant that Sam would smile and continue to get better.
...Maybe I should just take off and look for dad. I could tell him that he needed to come back for Sam. That Sam needed him, that I...
Dean shook his head, trying to shake the thought clear from his brain. He was twenty-seven; he didn't need to be taken care of as a child anymore. Well so Dean kept telling himself.
...I just want to talk to him. See him and ask him why he left again...What I did wrong..? I need him, I need Sam and I can't lose them both...
Dean sighed again, scrubbing his tired face with his hands. For a half a second the big brother did consider taking off and leaving Sam for a little while; but truth was; Dean knew he couldn't. Not only was Dean all to aware of how dangerous it was for Sam to be left alone, with this demon on the loose, and not to mention the over pizzazz of the good Dr. Kessin and his 'miracle' survivor in the shape of poor Sammy- but the small fact of Dean not wanting to be parted from Sam right now sent off vivid warning bells in Dean's head. He knew that wasn't normal.
Then again, was anything in the Winchester family ever straightforward..?
Dean forced himself to his feet and begun to walk towards a pay phone; he'd call his father and leave a message. Dean set his hand on the receiver and sucked in a breath, reluctantly, he allowed his hand to fall away from the phone and instead lent against the wall with his back.
...Who am I kidding..? Dad didn't even come near us when we went back to Lawrence, or when I was dying... Dean thought miserably...Why on earth would he come back now..? If he cared at all, he'd have never left us in the first place...
Dean could feel himself sliding down the wall as he sat on the cold hospital floor, with his back against the wall.
Sam deserved to know the truth. Sam deserved to know that he was right about dad all along, that their father cared about nothing more than revenge and didn't give a rat's ass about what happened to anyone else along the way.
It was one thing Dean knowing that Sam was right, it was another thing telling Sam. He knew what Sam would do. He'd do what Sam always did; blame himself. Sam would twist the situation in a way that only Sammy could do. He'd read the whole disastrous situation as being his handy work, blaming their father for leaving because he never killed the demon when he had the chance, for crashing the car- for any reason that Sam could think of that would justify this being Sam's fault.
Dean knew differently, Dean knew that Sam had refused to kill their father, even though revenge for the pain and agony of losing not only Jessica but their mother also, stood just a bullet away. But Sam had not fallen for the demon's trick, the younger Winchester had against the odds refused to pull the trigger; and Dean knew he had a hand in that.
He didn't remember much about what happened after that, but he remembered clearly that Sam had listened to Dean and not done what the demon had set Sam up to do; kill their father.
Dean was proud of his Sammy, so proud of him for doing that. So proud that Sam had chosen his family over revenge. Unfortunately, according to what Sam had said, the only person who had seemed to learn anything from the dire situation that night, had been Sam. John Winchester had been pissed that Sam had not killed him.
Sighing heavily, already sensing that a nurse was on his way over to him, Dean made a decision.
Unlike his father, Dean Winchester was going no where. Not without Sam…..
xxxxXXXXxxxx
Sam Winchester studied the room he lay in. He'd been conscious all of a couple hours and he was already sick at the sight of the bare magnolia walls and unwelcoming sponge mattress that housed his aching 6'4 frame. The younger Winchester felt so many things; yet there was only one question that lay at the fore front of his aching confused mind.
Why had Dean lied..?
Sam knew his brother. Out of everybody Sam had known his entire life, little brother Sammy knew his big brother better than anyone; possibly better than he had known Jessica and possibly better than Sam actually knew himself. This was why Sam was struggling to understand why Dean had lied to him regarding their father.
The last year of Sam's life had impacted greatly on Sam, but the most powerful impact on the young twenty three year old, had been Dean. Sure enough, Dean and Sam had been close growing up, bickering and squabbling like any siblings; however, they were by each other's side the moment any situation ever arose, and being a member of the Winchester family, situations often arose.
But this last year something had altered for Sam when it came to Dean; he was no longer just his over protective big brother who often drove him near crazy with attitude and temperament, he was now Sam's closest friend, and possibly even more importantly, Sam's protectiveness of Dean had soared beyond even the younger boys expectations.
Sam would do anything for Dean that went without question; he'd die for his big brother in a heartbeat, the only difference was; now Dean knew. Sam and Dean's relationship had gone from squabbling brothers to brothers who would give their dying breaths for each other without even a second thought for their own lives. After all, the only sure thing in either Winchester brother's life was each other.
Sam smiled at the thought, they were there own dysfunctional little family and although he would never admit it; Sam loved it.
The younger brother thought back to the last year, from the moment Dean had turned up at his apartment at Stanford and had asked him to come and find their father who had gone missing, all up to the few days later when Jessica had been killed. Sam swallowed as he forced the bitter memory down his throat again, trying to forget the images of his one time true love, the girl he'd wanted to marry, who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, to settle down with and have a couple kids with, burn like chicken wings in a vat oil.
That was a bitter thought for Sam, one that made his empty stomach churn violently.
They'd all died because of him. His mom, his beautiful, brave loving mom had died because of him; and now Jessica innocent of everything, had died because of Sam.
It was a horrible feeling that caused Sam's spirit to cry inwardly.
Sam had taken off separately from the Winchester family, determined to get away from his hunter roots and the plague of misery that seemed to surround his family.
Sam sighed at the memory, all that running he'd did to get away from his family, and yet they'd never moved on without him. His observations, opinions on what he wanted, what he lived for had all changed. Sam had expected to find their father; kill the demon that murdered his mother and girlfriend and return to the apple pie life that he'd spent his teenage years dreaming about. That had been almost a year ago.
Sam realized that the only apple pie he'd ever receive would be on a plate from a greasy diner Dean would have picked out for them to dine in while on a job.
Dean had stood by him, stubborn and determined to make sure his little brother didn't carry the burden of the awful curse of the supernatural on his already fragile shoulders. Sam considered the idea; was having visions of evil things actually a curse..?
They'd been pretty handy most of the times, the most important one being saving Dean's life from another supernaturally blessed person, a young man named Max with the power of telekinesis who had allowed evil to destroy his fragile mind. It was the same telekinesis power that Sam had shown that had saved Dean's life. It had never resurfaced since that occasion, and truth was, Sam hoped it never would. Max had become obsessed with killing and consumed with revenge and it was his power of telekinesis that he was using as his murder weapon. Sam prayed that he would be nothing like Max and hoped that his own display of telekinesis had been exactly as Dean had described it; a freak adrenaline rush.
Sam sighed deeply, he'd tried to save Max and he'd failed in doing so. Just like he'd failed his mom and girlfriend. He'd robbed the Moore family of a beautiful daughter and sister and robbed his father of a wonderful wife and Dean of a loving mother.
Sam closed his eyes and felt hot angry tears burn away.
Yup, every single thing in Sam's life had changed. The younger man wasn't happy with the changes, but right now having Dean by his side and willing to fight on his side gave him great comfort. Sam lay on the uncomfortable bed wondering if he deserved his brother's kindness, love and loyalty.
The younger man kept his eyes closed and sucked in a shaky breath as the awful thought he'd been trying to ignore in his mind snuck back to the fore front of his mind, leaving his stomach swarming with butterflies.
There could only ever be one reason why Dean would lie about their father being here. Sam knew that their father hadn't placed a foot inside his room. Sam had no proof, he just had a feeling, a nagging feeling that something about the whole situation wasn't ringing true. That's what led Sam to the conclusion that Dean was lying about their father.
Dean could sell ice to the Eskimos and sand to the Arabs, he could lie and talk his way into anything and out of everything, there was only one person on this planet that Dean couldn't tell a lie to- Sam. Sam always knew, he had no idea how he could do it, but there was always something in Dean's eyes that would briefly give him away. Sam had seen the uncomfortable look flicker just for a second in Dean's smile. Sam knew Dean's smile, it was always good natured, taken straight from his playful soul and none of the smiles Dean had bestowed on Sam had even touched his hazel green eyes, let alone touched the very depths of his soul.
So Sam knew.
Sam knew that their father John Winchester was dead.
Dean was just covering the secret that he was dead until maybe Sam was feeling better, that sounded like the plan his older brother would come up with. Get Sam back on his feet and then tell him that their dad was dead.
…..Great plan Dean….. Sam thought to himself.
Sam sat up slowly, he knew his plan that was slowly forming in his head probably was the stupidest plan he could have come up with, but right now this plan was better than no plan.
Dean was adamant that John Winchester was alive, yet there was something not quite right about the way he spoke about the old man.
Sam had to know one way or another, and he knew he wouldn't get any help from Dean in his direction. So he was going to have to find this out by himself.
Slowly, Sam eased himself into a sitting position and with teeth gritted he pulled the IV from his wrist and also the pulse monitor, he found himself cursing under his breath, words Dean would be proud of. He promptly reached over and hit the off switch and turned the machine off. Taking in a deep breath, he closed his eyes and forced himself to stand up slowly. His head spun like a big top and his vision zoomed in and out awkwardly. Sam gritted his teeth; this was going to be tough.
He had no idea why he felt so bad, or how many days he'd been in hospital, but his head hurt with a passion all by itself. That was the worse of the pain, the grinding pain that was pulling him swiftly into an unconscious state.
Sam shook his head, trying desperately to stay awake and while the pain increased in his head due to the shaking, for the moment, the urge to sleep had subsided.
Taking no chances to how long this effect would stay with him, Sam feeling like he had a major hang over, pushed his clumsy feet into a walking movement. The younger man forced his body to bend down and check the small locker style bed unit that housed the water and jug beside his bed. Just like Sam had expected, sweats, similar to those Dean had earlier been wearing lay in the locker.
Staring at the gown he was wearing, he fiddled with the ties and messily threw the sweats on.
Sam sank onto the bed, exhausted by what he'd done, but youngest son had a job to do, a mission to take on.
He knew it wouldn't be long before the hospital staff realized that the machine had been switched off, so he had to get moving, now.
…I can sleep later, but come on, you got to get moving now….. Sam urged himself as he pushed himself off the bed and headed toward the door of his room silently opening it.
Injured or fully fit, he was still a hunter, a Winchester, and he knew how to get of a room without being seen. It had been something that his father had taught him, Sam prayed inwardly that wouldn't be last thing that his father ever taught him.
Sam's hazel eyes fell on the clock above the door; Dean had been gone almost an hour.
Slipping out the room, unnoticed, Sam silently headed towards the elevator and snuck in without being seen. The younger man was the only one in the large elevator and Sam was grateful at that break as he lent heavily against the wall, his breathing feeling shallow and the pain in his head increasing with every breath that rattled through his aching body.
Yet, Sam kept going, urging his exhausted eyes to scan the ward lists and floors and that were plastered on the inside of elevator.
There was only place Sam was interested in finding.
The morgue……
xxxxXXXXxxxx
Dean Winchester walked along the corridor and rounded the corner to the quiet hall that housed his injured younger brother.
"Mr. Turner..!"
Dean slowed his walking and turned towards the sound of the voice, there was something familiar about the female voice, and it didn't take the elder hunter long to realize that it was the lovely nurse Kimberly waving him over to the nurses station.
Ironically, this was possibly the first time Dean didn't want a beautiful females company and instead would simply settle for the company of his little brother. Dean had to get back to Sam; he'd been gone for almost an hour.
"Dean..?" Kimberly called again, slightly louder than before.
Dean sighed and gave the nurse a small wave; the elder man wasn't in the mood for small talk or conversation at the moment, but the pretty nurse had spotted him, it would be rude just to walk away and leave her. Reluctantly, Dean headed towards the brunette and slapped his most charming smile on his face.
"Morning…!" Kimberly said with a grin as she studied the handsome patient in front of her, "How are you feeling today..?
"Pretty good, I got to get back to Sam…" Dean explained, hoping that explanation would signal the end of the conversation.
"How is Sam this morning..?" Kimberly wondered curiosity clear on her pretty face, "No one can believe what happened yesterday, it's a total miracle…"
"Yeah that's my Sammy, never doing anything by halves…" Dean muttered as he lent against the counter, staring over the reception area. Dean's eyes fell on a large black bag, and Kimberly noticed with a bright smile.
"Recognize it..?" Kimberly asked playfully, "He said you would.."
"He…?" Dean whispered, already standing straight, his hair standing on end. Dean's mouth begun to run dry as his heart quickened inside of his chest.
Had John Winchester come back to him..? Had his father come back to his family..?
Dean's eyes never left the bag, as he finally found his voice.
"What did the guy look like…?" Dean stammered out eventually, "Did he look…-"
"Like your father…?" Kimberly interjected, "No, he was older, slimmer, grey hair…"
………..Bobby…… Dean thought with a sad sigh, as he felt his heart sink down to his knees.
"He asked me to give you this bag the next time I saw you…" Kimberly said reaching for the bag and lifting it onto the counter.
"Keep it there, I don't want it…" Dean muttered, his mood instantly growing darker.
"Well, I can't keep it here…" Kimberly said, a little surprised by Dean's attitude, "What do you want me to do with it..?"
"Toss it, I don't care…" Dean muttered, now unable to keep his disappointment and anger under control,
"Dean it's clothes and stuff, if you want me to toss it, don't you think you should ask Sam, whether he wants some clothes or not..?" Kimberly suggested, "Besides it beats walking around with the hospital stuff on…" Kimberly said with a nod at Dean's sweats.
"I'll ask Sam…." Dean mumbled, not liking the idea, that the nurse could actually be correct.
"Then take the bag with you, I can't keep it behind the station this long anymore, I keep tripping over it..." Kimberly said with a smile, "Come on Dean, cheer up, you got so much to be happy about…"
"Yeah right…" Dean muttered between clenched teeth.
The older man was seething. How dare John Winchester behave like this, how dare he send Bobby Singer to bring a bag to the hospital and not even think of coming himself.
This was worse in Dean's opinion.
For his father to be able to give Bobby that bag meant that the father was not too far away from the hospital. John Winchester was right here in the same district and yet he refused to come and see his kids. Dean was at a lost to what he was feeling inside. The elder Winchester brother knew only one emotion at present, and that was hatred. Hatred at his father for abandoning him. Hatred for his father for abandoning Sam.
……Sam…… Dean thought sadly, that poor boy thought their father had died. Had tortured himself for the last couple hours thinking that the crash had killed their father and that Sam was responsible for the death. The younger brother had only been conscious a couple hours and he was already putting himself through the mill. Typically Sammy, really, always holding himself responsible for any problem, and constantly blaming himself.
……….Not anymore…. Dean thought to himself, ………...Not anymore….
"You're really lucky to have Sam; I know you're angry at your father…" Kimberly said, her voice breaking through Dean's bitter thoughts, "But at least you still have your brother…"
A small smile mused on Dean's lips. He was lucky to still have Sam. After what he had experienced yesterday, that huge empty gulf that had invaded his entire being. Nope, Dean was never to feel or experience that again. Kimberly was right, Dean still had Sam, and that was a very good thing.
"Yeah, I know, I guess it's just been a rough few days…" Dean admitted, "The old mind is taking a bit of a beating..."
"Well, don't worry about Sam..." Kimberly said now leaning forward in a confidential way, "Between you and me, I think it's fantastic that the specialists are coming to see Sam so soon after what happened yesterday…"
"Specialists...?" Dean promptly asked, fear beginning to heighten in his body again, "Why does Sam need to see a specialist..?"
"Are you kidding…?" Kimberly gushed, a gleeful excited look on her face, "Sam was dead for over forty minutes, and he came back from the dead…!"
"He didn't come back from the dead…" Dean muttered, suddenly looking over at his brother's closed door, "He was just out of it.."
"Dean, he was dead…" Kimberly said matter of fact style, "Doctors from all over what to take a look at him, examine his genetics, his physiology, run some tests on his brain and stuff…" Kimberly explained in an excited tone, "It's caused a big stir…"
Dean swallowed; his psychic induced freak of a little brother had managed to get himself to the top of the poking and prodding section of this hospital. The hospital couldn't run tests. They just couldn't. Dean Winchester wasn't even sure if anything psychic like would show up on scans and tests- but he wasn't going to run the risk in finding out.
The bottom line was that Sam had come back from the dead, all be it, it was only forty minutes, but still something supernatural had taken place and for now, Dean had no explanation for it and that bugged the hell out of the older brother.
Dean was sure a fight had taken place in the room Sam had died in. He's seen his brother bleed, when his body had been pronounced dead. That was impossible, it shouldn't have happened. Dean was well aware of that, and that was what bugged him. Sam had died and then somehow, along the way, Sam's spirit, the beautiful angel that had come to say its good bye to Dean had not been allowed to move on.
Dean's eyes widened suddenly causing Kimberly to give him a curios look.
"Something wrong Dean..?" Kimberly asked in a wondering tone.
Dean reached for the bag and grabbed it protectively in his hands, "Actually yes, I need my discharge papers…"
"What…?" Kimberly demanded, "Dean, you can't discharge yourself, you're not well enough.."
Dean sucked in a deep breath and looked at her thoughtfully, finally he spoke.
"Will I drop dead if I leave the hospital today..?"
"Dean I can't answer that.." Kimberly said shaking her head, "I'm only helping out the ICU ward cause the section is short…" Kimberly said as her cheeks grew a little red, "And not to mention, my certain favorite patient seems to have moved into this ward..."
Dean grinned, even dressed in sweats and feeling like hell, he could pull the most beautiful of women. It was just skills and charm, all of which Dean Winchester possessed.
" Can't you go back down to the ward I'm supposed to be in and get my papers ready, I need to get out of this hospital now.." Dean said playing with his most winning of smiles, "Come on Kimberly, I thought we had some sort of connection here…"
Kimberly smiled, unable to resist his good looks and charm, "I'll go downstairs and try and get your doctor to have a look at you..."
Dean grabbed her hand in his and held it tightly, "Please, no doctors. Just the papers…"
Kimberly stared into Dean's hazel eyes, "I'll try…"
Dean watched as Kimberly left the ICU nursing station, and headed towards the elevators. With the black duffle bag in his hand he headed towards his brother's room with only one thought in his mind.
Sam had been sent back.
Dean wasn't sure what had been in the room with him, but he knew that his little brother had died. He'd been there and witnessed it himself. He'd watched and felt the agony and perhaps more importantly had understood that Sammy had died.
Yet something had stopped his little brother moving on, something had trapped his spirit in that room and sent it back to his body.
That took power. Immense power.
And Dean wasn't about to let whatever had that power, come anywhere near his brother again.
It was time the 'Turner' family checked out of this hospital. Now….
xxxxXXXXxxxx
Dean 'Turner' allowed the pretty nurse to vanish into the elevators. Making sure the nurse had actually gone, he grabbed the black duffle bag and headed straight for the men's restrooms.
Once inside, he begun to accurately sift through the contents of the bag, taking every single item Bobby had left for Sam and himself and committing it to memory.
…..Bobby…..Dean thought….My own father couldn't even be bothered to drop this off at the hospital…..
After finding some clothes and toiletries, Dean promptly scrambled out the clothes and for the first time in eleven days locked eyes with his reflection in the small square mirror.
Dean stared wide eyed at his reflection, not only did he need a shower, shave and about forty hours sleep to begin shifting the panda like bags under his eyes, but he actually looked about as bad as he felt. Despite the horrid appearance, a small smile did meet his face. Even in this state, he could still pull women.
"Well when you've got it, you've got it…" Dean said to himself as he pulled the toothbrush from one of the two toiletries bags and quickly brushed his teeth.
Dean didn't study the other bruises on his body, the stitches on his chest, he didn't have the time. He had too many things to take care of, and most of them pointed straight back to his little brother.
The elder brother thought about his younger sibling who he knew lay sleeping in his hospital bed. It was probably the most unsafe place for Sam to be right now and the irony left him feeling bitter.
After giving the bag a thorough search, he found two wallets with new ID's and perhaps more surprisingly, Dean found a pair of keys he instantly recognized.
The keys to the Impala.
Dean studied the small set of keys in his hand, and double checked the bag; there was only one set. The elder Winchester couldn't help but find the entire scenario bizarre, after all according to Dr. Kessin and the little Sam had remembered, Dean had expected his beloved Impala to be nothing more but a pile of scrap metal.
Dean quickly stood up from the toilet seat he'd taken residence on and promptly stuffed everything he'd taken out back into the bag.
His eyes scanned the area making sure that he had left no clue behind of his whereabouts and hurriedly left the restroom.
Feeling more refreshed and slightly more confident in his plan of what to do with Sam, Dean strode purposefully towards his brother's closed door and promptly opened it.
What Dean found on the other side however struck the elder brother like a hot poker.
Dr. Kessin and Dr. Wallis were standing in his brother's room, Sam's chart in Dr. Kessin's hand and a furious and excited conversation was taking place between the two men. However, upon Dean's unexpected appearance, the atmosphere instantly changed.
Dr. Kessin looked softly at Dean while Dr. Wallis grew angry.
"What have you done with him Dean..?" Dr. Wallis demanded, as Dean's attending doctor stared angrily at the twenty-seven year old, "If you've removed your brother from this hospital, then that was a very stupid thing to do..."
"Removed him..?" Dean whispered, as he shoved past the doctors and stared at the bed.
"Where's Sam, Dean..?" Dr. Kessin asked in a more gentle tone, "Dean, he's very ill, if you've taken him away somewhere you have to return him…"
Dean said nothing.
His eyes only focused on the abandoned bed Sam had left behind in his haste to escape.
"He knows…" Dean whispered out loud, his feet already moving frantically towards the door, panic already beginning to heighten inside of him and clamp around his heart.
Sam knew he'd lied.
Dean ignored the shout from the doctors as he took off down the corridor in search of his brother.
Why couldn't Sam just do as he was told and stay put in one place for more than ten minutes..?
Why was Sam always being difficult and questioning everything…?
Because that was just the way Sammy was. He'd never change. Dean never wanted him to.
…..Man this plan so would have worked if Sam had stayed put in the friggin bed, I had everything figured out….. Dean thought as he raced down the corridor his eyes scanning for Sam.
It just hadn't worked out the way Dean Winchester had planned.
Geeze, did reality suck….
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Why can't Sammy ever do what he's told..? LOL Oh dear, sniffs I wouldn't trust that Dr.Wallis as far as I could throw him, go for it Dean…run ! Hope you enjoyed it and please don't forget to review. See you all for next update xxx