Chapter 3

"Beth." A voice came through the crack in the door. They unlocked it, but they couldn't move it because I was lying right in front and pushing it could have hurt me. I think I was in that room for a good two hours. People have tried to talk to me, even people I don't even know.

Hermione had sat on the other side of the thick door, whispering through the crack about acceptance. She droned on for a good thirty minutes before giving up and letting someone else try. There was a groaning noise as someone new leaned on the other side. His or her breathing was heavy.

"Beth, it's Harry. Can I come in?" I didn't respond. "Beth?"

I sat there for ten minutes, and he didn't speak. He just let me think. I don't know why I did it, but I moved out of they way. I had had people banging on that door for the last two hours. Why him? I don't know. Harry walked in, closed the door and with a little bit of difficulty, sat down beside me, our backs against it.

"I know it hurts. I know you feel… misunderstood. Can you look at me?" He sounded very much like a psychologist to me. I turned to face him.

"It'll fade," was all he said. I started to cry again and looked the other way. "It's nothing to be ashamed of." I didn't respond. "Will you come out?"

It was so funny how someone I barely knew could convince me to do something I was afraid to. "Can you make everyone leave?" I asked. "I'll come out, but everyone who is there, can you tell them to go? I promise to come out. I just— I was shocked that's all."

He patted my shoulder, pulled himself up on the doorknob, and gave me his hand. I pulled myself up, gasping as a pain shot through my ribs. I leaned against the bathroom counter.

"Beth? Are you okay?" I nodded. I really was. "I'm going to go out and tell them to leave alright, then I'll come get you." I nodded again.

He opened the door and limped out. I heard some scuffling and talking and the door opened again. I walked towards it and made my way slowly to the bed. The blinds had been pulled down to keep out the sunlight. I pulled my blue hospital gown down before I sat and then burrowed into the covers. Nobody was in the room. I heard Harry walk out, and closed my eyes.

§

"She's still fragile!"

"You are not her Guardian! And until we know that information, we as in the healers, make that call."

I opened my eyes and pushed myself up. My healer was arguing with Remus. They turned to look at me.

"Hey there Beth," said Healer Presley, "I've decided that it's time we should figure out who to contact about your mishap. Now I know you don't remember some information, which is fine, but we have special healers, who can recall that information for you." He walked towards the bed.

He had been prodding me over the last few days over my childhood, and different aspects of my life before the final battle; most of which I couldn't remember. He had sent in nurses and nice people who I had never met, and expected me to open up to them. The truth was, I didn't remember. I didn't know where I had lived or if I had any brothers or sisters; I couldn't remember life before that one day, other than basic things, like my favorite food, and spells.

"What do you mean? Like go into my head and find it?"

"Well, yes you could put it that way."

Something inside me snapped. "No freaking way!" I shouted. With the energy I had I got out of my bed and stood up, leaning against the bed stand. "You will not go into my head! No! You can't!"

"Now Beth," Remus started, "They won't do anything that you don't want—"

"No! I won't let them! WHAT IS INSIDE MY HEAD IS NONE OF THEIR BUISNESS!" I shouted. These people in the hospital in this wing had been like a family to me. That's the way life was now, and I understood that, but no one was allowed to break into my head and steal away personal things.

"Now Beth, think rationally. We can find out your last name, and who your Father is, and you remember that your Mother passed away which is good! But you are not of age. It is not right to just let you be. It's my job to contact someone. I'm a healer and can personally vouch your information will stay yours."

I looked desperately at Remus whose face was towards the ground. "I know who my freaking Father is! I mean, I don't, but I don't want him to know! He can go kill himself, I mean— I don't know! My mother is gone! I want to be alone! And I don't want people rummaging through my brain like- like some book!"

"Beth, please get back into bed."

"Leave."

"W-what?"

I stared him down. "Leave my freaking room." I felt wetness on my cheeks but ignored it. "Get out." My voice was quiet and filled with hatred. The healer nodded his head, and backed out of the room.

I burst into tears and fell into blackness.

§

I got out of my bed slowly. No one was aware I was awake yet. If I could just go for a walk; think about things. A housecoat was hanging on the hook by the couch. I stumbled over and covered myself.

Breathing heavily I leaned on the wall. My ribs throbbed but I didn't care. I would go and walk. It was dark outside and moonlight shone in a thin streak through my window across the floor.

I entered the hallway outside my door. There were roughly twenty rooms down the wing, ten doors to a side. I assumed this was the survivors' wing. My room was near the end of the stark white hallway, and the nurse's station was near the doors, opposite of me. I walked slowly towards it taking brief pauses to lean against the wall.

After three rooms I began to hear the yelling. The farther I walked, the louder it became. A door about three doorways down from me opened. Hermione's head popped out and she rubbed her eyes. Oblivious of my existence, she walked across the hallway cradling her arm and opened the door that the yells were coming from.

The yells turned into cries and screams as I progressed down the corridor. A portrait to my right was shaking his head. He disappeared and all that was left was black canvas. I turned into the room where Hermione had gone in. Ron, Molly, Remus and three other red heads were already around the bed.

I slipped through and realized that this was Harry's room. Nobody seemed aware of my night trip as I watched horrified from the back of the room a thrashing, kicking and screaming Harry. Ron stood behind Hermione, holding her waist as she cried. Remus sat on a chair in the corner of the room, his head in his hands trying to drown out the noise. Molly and who appeared to be her husband were standing at Harry's bedside. The little balding man seemed overwhelmed but unable to do anything. The other two red heads were speaking in hushed voices, each in black shiny jackets one with a "G" and the other "F" embroidered in the bottom left corner.

I stood in the back corner for what seemed like an eternity. Then it stopped. The silence was just that—silence. Nobody moved. Harry groaned and rolled over. Ron shook his head and took Hermione's hand. He whispered into her ear and she looked up and nodded her head. It was over. They turned to leave and saw me.

Ron didn't say anything, but gave me a grim smile. Hermione also said nothing and allowed Ron to lead her out and presumably to her room. The black jackets turned around. One of them gasped at the sight of me, and the other stood silent.

"Do we know you?" the one who gasped questioned. I took these two identical faces to be Ron's twin brothers; Fred and George. Thanks to them Remus, Molly and her husband turned to look.

"I'm sorry. I just—I went for a walk and heard…" I trailed off.

"It's fine Beth. He has nightmares and we-" Molly sniffed, "We can't wake him from them." She wandered away from her husbands hold and brushed Harry's damp hair off his forehead. She looked at me. "You should get back to bed dear."

"I'll take her."

Remus stood up from his chair and walked over to me. The twins didn't say anything else. Molly gave me a little wave. "Sweet dreams, dear."

"G'night," I said a little uncertainly.

Remus led the way and closed the door behind him. There was no need for an explanation. When I faltered he came back and allowed me to lean on him—not in a sick way mind you, but lovingly none-the-less. He guided me back to my room and into my bed.

"Beth, can I ask you something?"

"You just did," I said with a grin I knew was lopsided.

"Another one then."

"Sure." I could barely see his face. The side of his face opposite the windows was glazed over by moonlight, and through my door I only got the remaining light from the hallway.

"Why won't you tell us who your Father is?"

The question echoed in my mind, a painful reminder of my existence.

"I- do you know when you found me what condition I was in? Like, do you remember all the bruising and stuff?" His shadow nodded. "I don't remember how it got there. I mean, I was fighting in the war and everything, but I think—I think they were there before hand. "I paused struggling to remember. "I can't… I don't know for sure. When I was fighting, I was attacked mostly from the front, and the bruises on my back… I'm not sure how they got there. I think… I don't really know what I think, but I just don't know."

Remus didn't say anything. "You won't let them into my brain will you?" I asked. "I don't want… I mean maybe, if they have to know, but I don't turn of age for another seven months, and I just don't want people digging in my brain until I can decide for myself."

"Where will you go? When they let you leave Beth, where will you leave to?"

"I-I don't know." This question I had pondered over for a long time. Quite frankly I had no clue. I didn't have a wand, and I had no clothing or personal belongings. I was left to my own devices really. And I was sure to be let out of this place soon. I was healing wasn't I? I mean my face wasn't going to be much better shortly I knew, but it looked better than yesterday, and just because magic doesn't work quite yet on it, it doesn't mean it won't soon. And my ribs looked better. The slashes across my abdomen and upper body would never fade, they were evil magic and they were now apart of my skin, but they only hurt sometimes. And I could walk short distances. Maybe tomorrow I'll go for a longer walk.

"Well," said Remus, "if you need anything, everybody in this wing, we look out for each other." He turned to leave.

"Remus?"

"Yes."

"You never answered my question."

"You never answered mine."